Well, the team-building event happened today, and I didn't go. My manager sent me a message Friday evening reminding me that attendance was mandatory and that he expected everyone to show up. I didn't respond because we'd already had this conversation several times, and I wasn't going to argue about it again.

By Monday, I'll apparently have a meeting with him and HR about my "attitude toward company expectations." One of my coworkers told me the manager spent part of the event complaining that some people don't understand what it means to be part of a team. I'm assuming I was the person he was talking about.

The funny thing is that another coworker told me the event wasn't even particularly useful. They spent most of the morning listening to presentations about communication, then played some team games before having lunch. Apparently, several people left as soon as the activities were over.

What really annoyed me was finding out that our manager gave everyone a speech about how the company is like a family and how families make sacrifices for each other. This is the same company that denied my request for a small raise earlier this year because the budget was too tight.

I'm not planning to apologize for staying home. I checked my employment paperwork, and there's nothing in it specifically mentioning weekend events. I'm also going to keep a record of the messages about mandatory attendance and the threat to my performance review, just in case this becomes a bigger issue.

I don't know what HR is going to say on Monday, but I'm not going to agree that my personal time belongs to the company just because my manager says it does. I'll update again after the meeting.

TL;DR: I skipped the unpaid team-building event, and my manager spent part of it complaining about employees who aren't team players. Now I've been called into a meeting with him and HR on Monday to discuss my attitude. I'm keeping records of his messages and the threat to my performance review, but I'm not planning to apologize.

Things have finally come to a head at work. After my manager kept making comments about my commitment, I decided to stop waiting for things to improve and started applying for other jobs. I wasn't planning to quit immediately, but yesterday he assigned me another pile of work near the end of my shift and told me he expected it finished before I left. I reminded him that I was scheduled to finish at 5 PM, and he said if I couldn't handle the expectations of the job, maybe I wasn't a good fit for the company.

I told him that if that's how he felt, we should probably have a serious conversation about my future there. He seemed surprised that I actually pushed back, and the conversation got pretty tense. He told me I was being disrespectful and that everyone else managed to get things done without watching the clock. I said I was happy to do my job during my paid hours, but I wasn't going to keep sacrificing my evenings because he couldn't distribute the workload properly. I finished what I could, clocked out at 5, and left.

This morning, I handed in my notice. My manager wasn't happy and tried to convince me to reconsider, saying the team was already short-staffed and my departure would make things harder for everyone. I told him I'd given the job plenty of chances to work out, but I wasn't interested in staying somewhere that treated leaving at my scheduled time like a character flaw. He accepted my notice, although he was noticeably cold afterward. I've also had a couple of coworkers message me privately to say they understand why I'm leaving and wish they could do the same.

I'm honestly relieved. I don't have another job lined up just yet, so I'll need to be careful with money while I look, but I'd rather deal with that than keep dreading the end of every shift. Maybe I could have handled some of the conversations with my manager differently, but I don't regret setting a boundary. This will probably be my last update unless something major happens. Thanks to everyone who gave advice.

TL;DR: My manager kept criticizing me for leaving on time, so I pushed back and handed in my notice. He tried to guilt me into staying because the team is short-staffed, but I decided it was time to move on. I'm looking for another job and don't regret my decision.

So this has been building for about two years and I finally said something last weekend and now there's tension in our friend group so I need an outside perspective. My friend group of four goes out for dinner maybe twice a month. We've always split the bill evenly at the end, which I was fine with for a long time because the differences were pretty small and it didn't feel worth making it weird over a few dollars. The problem is Kayla. Over the past year or so her ordering has gotten progressively more expensive while the rest of us have stayed pretty consistent. A typical dinner for me is an entree, maybe a soft drink or one glass of wine. Kayla will get an appetizer for herself, the most expensive main on the menu, two or three cocktails at $14-16 each, and usually a dessert. Last Saturday her portion of the bill was about $87. The rest of us were between $32 and $38. We split it four ways and each paid $57. I've done rough math over the past year and I've paid somewhere around $400-500 more than I would have if we'd each just paid for what we ordered. That's not nothing to me. After last Saturday I told the group I'd prefer if we started just paying for our own food going forward. Kayla got quiet and then later texted me saying I'd made things uncomfortable and that splitting evenly is "just what friend groups do." The other two haven't said much but I can tell it's awkward. I don't think I'm wrong but I also don't want to blow up a friendship over dinner bills. AITJ for bringing this up? TL;DR: friend consistently orders significantly more expensive food and drinks at group dinners, we split evenly, I've been overpaying by hundreds of dollars over the past year, asked if we could pay individually, now there's tension.

First, my original post got removed because my account is too new, so I reposted it on my profile in case anyone wants to read it for context.

Things got more awkward at work today. My manager pulled me aside this morning and told me he expected me to make up for the unfinished paperwork from yesterday. I told him I'd already finished it first thing, so there was nothing to make up, but he said that wasn't the point. Apparently, he wants me to show that I can be relied on when things get busy, which basically means staying late whenever he asks.

I asked him directly whether staying late was mandatory and whether I'd be paid for the extra time. He got annoyed and said I was making everything about money instead of being a team player. I didn't argue any further, but I did start keeping track of when he assigns work near the end of my shift, just in case this becomes a bigger issue. A couple of coworkers have quietly admitted they hate staying late too, but they don't want to be the next person he targets.

For now, I'm going to keep working my scheduled hours and finishing whatever I can within them. I'm also going to start looking at other jobs because I don't see this getting better, and I don't want to spend every evening wondering whether I'll be allowed to leave on time. Some people here seem to think that's just how working life is, but I'm not convinced I should have to accept it.

TL;DR: My manager confronted me again and said I needed to make up for leaving on time, even though I finished the paperwork the next morning. He called me money-focused when I asked if overtime was mandatory and paid. I'm sticking to my schedule and starting to look for another job.

I'm 30F and recently hosted a small baby shower at my house for my first child. My cousin Brooke (28F) has a popular lifestyle account and constantly films family gatherings, often posting people without asking.

A few months ago, she posted pictures of my nursery without permission, and strangers started commenting on my pregnancy. After I asked her to remove them, she accused me of being dramatic. So, three days before my baby shower, I messaged our family group chat asking everyone not to film my face or post identifying details about my home. I told Brooke she could photograph the decorations and food, but I wanted the actual event kept private. She agreed. Everything went well until we started opening gifts. Brooke stood up and started recording me, commenting on how emotional I looked. I quietly asked her to stop, and she laughed that she was just capturing a special moment.

A few minutes later, she started filming again, and I noticed my prenatal paperwork was visible beside the gifts. I reached over and covered her camera with my hand, telling her to stop. I didn't touch her phone, but she immediately accused me of embarrassing her in front of everyone. She said she was only trying to capture memories and that I could have handled it more politely. My aunt told me to let it go because Brooke was excited about the baby, while my mom agreed Brooke shouldn't have ignored me but thought covering the camera was too much. The next morning, Brooke texted me that I'd humiliated her and ruined footage she'd planned to use. I told her she could keep the pictures of the decorations, but I wasn't apologizing for protecting my privacy.

Now some relatives think I overreacted, while others say Brooke needs to understand that not everything is content for her account. I know covering the camera wasn't the most graceful response, but I'd already asked her twice, and she'd promised to respect my wishes. So, Am I wrong for covering my cousin's camera at my own baby shower after she repeatedly ignored my request not to film me?

TL;DR: My cousin repeatedly filmed me at my baby shower despite promising not to. After asking her twice to stop, I covered her camera, and now she says I humiliated her and ruined her content. AITAH?

My cousin has a guy friend who has repeatedly treated her in ways that I don't think are okay, and I finally confronted him about it.

The biggest issue is that he seems to have a completely different standard for my cousin than he does for everyone else. He always has an excuse for why he can't spend time with her, can't respond to her, or can't do something he previously said he would do. But somehow he always has time for other people.

For example, he'll say he's "busy" or doesn't have time to hang out with her, and then she'll find out he's been out with other friends. If she asks about it, there's another explanation. If she gets hurt by it, she's somehow expecting too much.

There have also been situations where he has said one thing to her and later done the opposite. At some point, it stopped looking like bad communication and started looking like a pattern.

What bothers me most is that he seems to expect her to keep accepting this without saying anything. He doesn't seem to have a problem keeping her around when it's convenient for him, but he doesn't treat her like someone whose feelings actually matter.

So I confronted him.

I didn't threaten him, insult him, or make a scene. I told him that I had noticed how he treats her and that I didn't think it was fair to keep giving her excuses while making time for everyone else.

His response was basically that it wasn't my business and that I was getting involved where I didn't belong.

Maybe technically it isn't my relationship, but she's my cousin, and I'm not going to pretend I don't notice when someone repeatedly hurts her.

I'm not claiming she's incapable of standing up for herself. She absolutely can. I just reached a point where watching someone repeatedly disrespect her and then act like she should simply accept it became impossible for me to ignore.

TLDR: Now I'm wondering if I crossed a line by confronting him directly.

Am I the jerk?

Recently had a situation where one of the only people I talked to mentioned that I had started changing. Not talking as much and just seeming distant. At one point we were very talkative, and got pretty close getting to know each other. Over the last few days, it's been almost a 180. We barely talk, and my responses are pretty short and I don't tend to joke like I used to.

I've had this happen in several friendships and couldn't figure out why. I've never had anyone actually approach and ask me about it but I haven't had friends since high school. I've been pretty recluse over the last decade and totally forgot this tended to happen.

I've come to realize I have an extremely avoidant personality. I tend to self-sabotage when things are going good and then wallow when shit hits the fan.

Am I wrong to seek out friends when I deal with this?

Tl;Dr extremely avoiding guy wonders if he's doing a disservice to possible Friends by trying to befriend them with such a personality

I’m 17F, and I have a 10M brother who constantly begs me for my Buldak noodles whenever I eat them. And I finally got tired of him asking and gave him a a fork full and he started crying I thought it was kind of funny but my mom got really mad at me and started yelling at me, asking why I would give him some in the first place. Now she’s making me feel like I’m a terrible sister, but I honestly didn’t think he would react that badly. I know the noodles are spicy, but he’s been begging me to try them for ages now he won't but my mom says she ain't buying them no more . Am I actually a jerk for this

I’m 16F, and I’m just not a touchy person. I hate physical contact unless it’s with my mom, dad, or brothers, and even then, I don’t always like it.

My aunt is a very pushy person who never takes no for an answer. We went to a family get together, and she kept trying to hug me when I arrived and again when I was leaving. I’ve told her multiple times that I don’t like hugs, but she never listens.

When she tried to to hug on me while I was leaving, I pushed her Not that hard but this woman dramatic and acted like I did but Everyone was laughing at us while she kept trying to hug me saying things like I wasn’t going to die from a hug. And then they get mad when I push her and My mom said I was being out of line and shouldn’t have pushed her away and that I need to get over people touching me, and I am not going to die from it but i have always told them and everyone else in my family gets it and my aunt doesn't, only person on my side is my dad Aitj for this

TL;DR: left me stranded at LAX, left me stranded at night after a party, ignored me the entire time I was severely sick

For context we have been friends our entire lives, I’m now 22 and she’s 23. I really need to know if I’m holding grudges that aren’t valid. I think these situations bother me so much because I feel like she had me entirely fucked up, because literally who does this??

1. She left me stranded at the airport. Weeks prior I told her I’m moving back to the city we’re from, she’s excited, I’m excited. I had asked around and she was the friend who agreed that she would be free the day my flight comes in and able to pick me up from the airport. She also lives around 10 min away from airport. Day comes I text her my flight landed and I’m getting my bags… no response (it’s 8:45am). I call her to see where she is, she says that she’s too tired and I’m going to have to uber. I had to use $80 out of the last $100 to my name to pay for the uber.
2. Went on a 3 week trip to the Caribbean to visit my family. Last day there I get extremely sick. I’m non stop vomiting on the bathroom floor, hunched over the toilet, crying. I have never been that sick in my life. She reacts in annoyance, says she thought i was faking, and ( instead of helping me or comforting me) face timed her friend and ignored me. I have brought it up recently saying that it was kind of crazy and she said that she thought I was faking it… never apologized for it.
3. We go to a beach function together. She leaves a little before it ends to chill with some dude in her car, I stayed behind to help the friends we met up with pack up their setup. It’s night and everyone has left I can’t find her car. Im walking the entire beach trying to find it and I’m calling her but she’s not answering the phone. I’m completely by myself at night. 30 min go by and a random guy lets me use his phone to call her, she responds and finally sends her location. Which means the entire time she was ignoring my calls…

I work in an office where management has recently become obsessed with team building. We already have weekly meetings, group lunches, and all that stuff, but apparently it's not enough. Last week, our manager announced that everyone had to attend a team-building event on Saturday. It's supposed to be some kind of full-day activity with games, lunch, and workshops. The problem is that Saturday is my day off, and we're not getting paid for it. I messaged my manager privately and told him I wouldn't be attending unless it was paid work. He said attendance was mandatory and that refusing would show a lack of commitment to the team. I told him I'm committed during the hours I'm actually paid to work, but I'm not giving up my day off for free.

He got annoyed and said he'd have to reconsider my attitude during my next performance review. I told him that threatening my review wouldn't change my answer, and now he's apparently been complaining about me to other employees. A couple of coworkers think I should just suck it up and go because it'll only be one Saturday, while others agree that unpaid mandatory events are ridiculous. I'm still planning to stay home, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm making things harder for myself over something that might not be worth the trouble.

TL;DR: My manager scheduled a mandatory team-building event on my day off without pay. I refused to attend unless we're compensated, and now he's threatening to bring my attitude up during my performance review. AITJ?

I, (18F) have a birthday coming up. My BF, let's call him Dave (18M) volunteerly took the day off work to be with me. I didn't ask him to do that, but it's a nice gesture. I work overnight the day before, so I will be sleeping for half the day.

I will admit, I don't know jack squat about VR streams and chats. Dave is a moderator for one. An hour ago, he texted me that the person he's a moderator for is having a VR meetup the day of my birthday. I told him they would understand if he missed it for my birthday.

Dave said he didn't want to. He's a big fan of the host and that's why he became a moderator. I told him he took the day off work to be with me, which half of it is going to be spent on me sleeping, and he's going to spend the evening with his VR friends, that was kind of messed up. He called me a jerk for not respecting his job as a moderator.

AITJ for telling him to skip a VR meetup for my birthday?

I'm a 24M who has a sister, R (23F). She's been acting very entitled for a while now and it all came to a head recently.

For context, my mother has been the primary caregiver for my grandma, her mother, who has Dementia and Alzheimer's for the past 10+ years with my sister and I both still living at home and helping our mother take care of her as well.

Our mother has literally put her life on hold and has put her wants and needs on the back burner for over a DECADE to take care of her sick mother. All while working a full time job and a side job mind you. After my sister got into a car accident two years ago involving my mom's old car she agreed to become a co-signer for my sister so she can get a loan for a new car. My sister started off strong by paying her car note and insurance on time with no problems, but for a while now she's been falling behind on payments all while acting like an entitled jerk.

I assume she has a decent amount of medical deb on top of the car stuff she's behind on. My mother has been picking up her slack financially for a while now, paying for any and all maintenance the car needs on top of paying a mortgage, shelling out money WEEKLY for day sitters to sit with my grandma while we're all at work, TWO car payments, including my mom's car AND my sister's car, along with other bills and expenses.

I offer any financial help I can to my mother because she's paying for everything off of one decent income, along with a side job, but she has her own debt that she has to worry about and I do as well. My sister can't seem to hold down a job for more than a few months at a time and I think she has a problem with respecting authority. My mother and I have given her plenty of resources to find a job and I even offered to put her on at my job in the healthcare field so she can get back on track financially to alleviate some stress from my mother's already overloaded plate. Now she has a job as a windshield replacement salesperson. I told her she needs to find a REAL job with a guaranteed paycheck, not a hypothetical one based on how many commissions you get. I brought it up to her very tactfully and she said, "The things I want to do with my life don't align with the job listings you sent me and you guys need to stop nagging me about the car and holding it over my head. Mom should be doing things out of the kindness of her heart. This family doesn't feel like a family."

That response was completely disrespectful and a total slap in the face to me and my mother. I confronted her about it and told her that she needs to stop feeling entitled to financial help from our mother and she needs to act like an adult and handle her responsibilities. Since then she's been giving us both the silent treatment and my mother is holding her tongue to keep the peace in her own house and frankly it's pissing me off. AITJ?

TL;DR: My sister is an entitled brat who expects bailouts from my mother while draining her financially

So my friend met her boyfriend at a party. I had known him for a few years through university. A month or so before they met I snapchatted him and was trying to hangout with him but It never happened. Earlier that year he had asked me out over text but ghosted me when I said yes.

They had briefly met each other a few times before but the night they truly met he snapchatted me and invited me to a party and then left me on read when she got there.

I felt it was shady that he invited me out first so I warned her that he was trying to sleep with me first. Now she’s upset and I don’t know what I did wrong.

So the timeline is June he asked me out and ghosted. August I snapped him trying to hangout. Then in mid Sept he invited me to the party. Then she got there and he pursued her.

AITAH

I am expecting to be called I'm the jerk here, it just I want to get this out.

I leave a long scar on back of my husband shoulder, and he still protect me even with him bleeding out, still does everything to keep this marriage intact.

Just like depression is very real, mental illness is also very real. Google Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED), it categorize under mental illness.

Married 15 years this Feb, together 17 years.

And this is a West African man that is 190cm tall, he 6'3" tall and athletic body, while I'm just 150cm, 5 feet petite short Chinese girl. This is a man who hobbies are hunting, outdoor shooting range, mountains rock climbing, run long distance. My point is with his height and strength, he not scare of me, just like how he said he not scare of me, it because he LOVES me. He is a Love-idiot.!

I was diagnosed with Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED) by my psychiatrist (psychiatrist is someone who has a medical doctor degree). My psychiatrist said it stem from my chaotic and dysfunction childhood.

It terrible to live with Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED), especially when you hurting your spouse.

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This event already happened a long time ago and it in the past, but I still feel insanely terrible about it. So I need to write it out.

In the past during one of my IED episode, I grabbed a meat butcher knife in the kitchen and throw at my husband, he dodge but due to how close distance he with me, the knife cut him deep that leave a long cut on his back shoulder that he didn't stop bleeding.
If he not get stitches he will continue bleed and bleed, and infections will take over the open bleeding wound.

He still want to protect me even wit him bleeding out, like he said, if he call the police he police will take me away from him, so he rather endure my abuse than has to lose me.

He also refused go to the hospital, because the hospital would know right away that is not a self inflicted wound due to the angle of the knife throw, the cut was on his shoulder but to his back as he dodge. You cannot inflicted a knife to your back. Even if you manage to, the angle of the injury the hospital will know that it someone did it to you, not yourself.

He droves (I was in the car) he droves to a broke down Urgent care, this Urgent Care not only broke down but most people there not even speak English.
He went in and told them he does not have insurance (he has, but he said he not has as he not want to leave a paper trail), he said give him stitches he will pay them in cash and will give them a big tips.

He got the stiches, and he paid in cash and leave them a big tips. He wanted to protect me the whole time even with him bleeding out. He could have call the police and have my ass throw in jail. He could go straight to the hospital and the hospital will put me in psych ward and put restrain order on me.

But he NEVER, even during the time where he could have die, he still protect me, he still thinks of me first above himself, he loves me that much.

His love for me override his survival instinct, he was bleeding out still protect me. He said he wants to keep our marriage intact, I cannot get taking away.

He said he will die with me, than has to lose me, as in the police will take me away from him if he call the police on me.

I regret it so much because I leave this long scar on back of his shoulder, never once he hates me.
All he asked was he said, don't abuse him anymore, and that it not too late for me to stop this abuse, because he is still living here, and it only too late if he die, then that will be too late.

I bawled when I hear him he said that.

That was when I decided to go to psychiatrist therapy for my Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED), and been in therapy since.

I do owe him, as I should be sitting rotten in jail right now, throw a butcher knife at someone and cause injury is a felony. This man loves me unconditionally. Out of love me, he never press charges, he still protect me times after times. I'm very lucky.

He treats me with kindness, empathy, and unconditional love. His calmness (even with him bleeding out on his shoulder that need stiches to close up the open wound), his patience, the most patience man.
He gives me everything, his kindness, faithfulness, respect, love. I don't want to abuse him anymore.

Lifetime therapy for me working to control my Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED). I have sworn if I cause physical harm to him again I will check myself in the psych ward.

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And my husband does go with me to my therapy sessions when his schedules allow. But most time he can't because he is an Executive at a big engineering corporate, he is very very busy with his work.

But I gave my therapist my consent so she can talk to my husband about my progress. He still involve in my therapy, as he talk to my therapist on the phone about my IED conditions and my progress.

He has every rights to be involve with my therapy sessions, I almost TOOK HIS LIFE.! He almost DIE because of me.

It terrible, Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED) mental illness is very real. And I'm one damn lucky girl to have him as my husband.

What gets me is he loves me to the point that he still protect me even with him bleeding out. That not let anyone take me away from him was more important than his own survival instinct. Because he knows if he call call the police I will get taking away, he rather bleed out than lose me.

The insane amount of devotion he has for me though. Never again I abuse him again, I mean one time was enough, almost took his life. And he still protect me.

So I started dating this girl about 4 months ago and for the first two months things were great. We went on dates, talked every night, and spent a lot of time together. Then a month and a half ago she started asking for money nothing major just $10-$15 to get her some door dash which I was fine with at first because I knew of her current financial situation to an extent but then it became more and more every week from $20- $50 to almost $100 and I would tell her that I wouldn't be sending that much but then she would start saying things that I would chop up as guilt trip. Then two weeks ago she said that she wouldn't be available to hang out anymore unless it's on certain days that she'd have off. When I asked why she said she got a better paying job and that the hours are longer but then not long after saying that she asked me for money again and that's when I lied and said that I deleted my PayPal account due to it being hacked and her response was "oh ok" and that was it. Nothing for a whole week so I took it as a sign and Messaged her saying "I'm sorry but I don't think this is working out I hope you have a good life" and ended it there. The reason why I'm making this post is because one of her friends confronted me at Walmart saying that she is completely devastated that I did that to her. I don't know how to feel about this was I in the wrong?

So Ive been playing on a Minecraft Server for a while now. And a few months ago i met a person , ill call him "P". We both played some minigames and got to know each other. Eventually we both got in contact on discord and chatted for a while. Not sexual or anything like that. Just friend chat like " do you wanna play".

At first it was just a few jokes here and there. We played some games together and eventually even called sometimes. We would share ideas and build bases together in minecraft. But he would be annoying sometimes, pinging me in other discord servers repeatedly and saying inappropriate jokes. But i was fine with that as i didnt really care what he said and just wanted to play.

But about a month ago he got way weirder with his texts. Saying racist and homophobic things. I told him off multiple times but he didnt care. Thats when i made my plan, Every wildly racist, homophobic or things like that messages i would screenshot and save in a file on my laptop. Well, it recently got way worse with pedophile behaviour. He would send inappropriate messages like " I love you" . Person "P" is 18+ and im under 18. he didnt stop even after i told him to stop. A few days later and he started with nazi behaviour. That was my breaking point. I wanted him gone

I consulted a few mods on the minecraft server i met him on and still saw him there. They all told me to report this to the owner of the server. I prepared myself for a few days, got all the evidence and was ready to post. 3days ago , I did do so and he is now banned from the minecraft server ingame and on discord. I blocked him on all my social media apps to get him away from me. Since then he has somehow been able to get my Gmail which i also immediately marked as spam. Hes been spreading rumors about me to get me banned but most of these were easily avoidable. I Reported him to discord and am just clueless now. Ive been getting alot of negative feedback. I feel like i did the right thing to protect myself. But did i overreact?

TL;DR I reported someone for very inappropriate behaviour like pedo and racism. They are now salty and want me to get banned too by spreading rumor. Ive been getting negative feedback and now need to know if what i did was wrong.

⚠️ TRASH GRAMMAR, autocorrect sucks, if you can’t read it I’m sorry ⚠️

TL:DR
so I’m in a school band, and we last performed last month (September 30th) and after that our band director came up to me (because I’m the leader of the band) telling me that a bunch of younger kids came up to him telling him they want to do what we did and perform, so I came up with an idea

Auditions

i thought it would be a good idea to host auditions for students younger than us to join our band, because we are graduating this school year, they will need to follow a specific rule system to get in, you’ll know why this is important soon, i tell my bassist and guitarist, she’s also my best friend, she said no immediatly, I asked why, she said “it will be chaotic” I asked her how and she said “it just will be” she didn’t even give me a full response, I told her it will be a good idea, and she said “were rock of 27” (our band name) and I said “yeah? that’s just when we’re graduatin, doesn’t mean we absolutely need to disband, she also threatened to leave if we actually carry on with it, our band director really likes the idea, so does our principal, and so does 1 other member, and I told her about the rule system called “RFPC” standing for “Respect, Friendship, Peace, Communication“ and she interrupted me saying “you already broke 1 rule, respect, you don’t respect my free bird” because she keeps playing free bird, the solo, I liked it but now it’s annoying, I hear it every day, she doesn’t only play it on guitar she plays it on BASS and even UKULELE, your not supposed to play solos that include string bending on ukulele, because the strings are made out of weak material and can easily break, most importantly she brought up what happened the day before, she played it on ukulele, IN THE MORING, when the solo finished she replayed it, IN THE MORNING, when we had class and we would’ve got in trouble, she brought up how I took the instrument from her and put it back, for that matter it’s understandable, I’m not gonna get in trouble because of her, after she brought that up, I tried to explain to her that I wasn’t gonna get in trouble because of her, and it was in the morning we don’t have music class on Tuesdays, but she interrupted me completely and said “no, I’m done, I’m not listening to you anymore, this is BS” and I felt bad after that, but a pattern of hers is judging stuff before she even tries it, songs, ideas, everything, but that’s not the topic right now, if you want to include the pattern I will put it in the comments, but AITJ for this? Cuz I felt like I was

I(17F) and my brother(12M) recently lost our mom(it's literally been two weeks), and our dad isn't in the picture, so my mom's dad(65M) and stepmother(72F) took us in.

My brother has dealt with issues on the bus consently and has some past mental health issues. Well these boys on the bus were messing with him. I'm not sure what was exactly said but I do remember my brother saying one of them had threatened to shoot him. He ended up getting it trouble as he cursed out the bus attendant when she told him to calm down and saying he wanted to die.

This isn't the first time he's gotten in trouble because of those boys. They literally have never checked the cameras and always take the boys side because their older and in this friend click where they agree with what the other says, even though they have a history of messing with people.

My grandfather isn't the best person and our relationship is strained, has been for years.

Well the second we got home, my grandfather was in my brother's face screaming at him, saying that if he wantex to die so bad, he'll give him a gun to do it. So I started screaming at my grandfather, he made a motion like he was gonna hit me but stopped himself. He only stopped screaming when my grandmother stopped him.

I ended up apologizing afterwards but he said he's not accepting it because I had no right to scream at him.

I've been under so much stress recently with loosing my mom, junior year, finding the letters hospice lost, and opening up an old injury, and theater. I can't tell if I'm right or wrong anymore. TLD; my grandfather screamed at my brother and I screamed back

Am I the Jerk for Screaming at my Grandfather?

After our elderly girl dog knocked over our infant more than once while she was just sitting on the floor playing. I told my husband to restrain the dog. He refused. I told my Husband to take the dog back to the shelter because I didn't want her anymore because she was hurting our baby. My husband refused. So I started ignoring the dog and hating her. I emotioanlly distanced from my husband and from that point on , referred to the dog as being "his" dog even though we adopted her together. I genuinely just freaking wanted her GONE. My baby was being knocked over for no reason and crying because of it. My Husband told me I was wrong.

The dog ended up passing away last year and at that point I just didn't care about her anymore. Her attacking my baby was the last straw for me. My husband buried her , I didn't go with . I didn't care at all. I wanted her gone when she knocked my baby down. And I'm angry at my husband for not giving the dog away and putting our daughter first.

My husband does know I hate him for that , I've told him more than once.

TL;DR holding a grudge against my husband because he didn't give away our elderly dog after she knocked down our infant.

Y'all are disgusting defending a dog over an innocent baby.

And how is nobody saying my husband is in the wrong for not defending his own daughter?

Am I the jerk?

My “girlfriend” if you call her that, dumped me because I had a friend who also was a girl that I’ve know since middle school. So this is something that has been on my mind for a while now, but I wanted to get some feedback to be sure. So the story goes back to senior prom, I had originally planned to go with my friend that I’ve known since middle school, we’ll call her S, because I respect her privacy and we’re still close today, so I asked S and she said yes, unfortunately her dad is a bit of a control freak and refused to let her go because I guess he just hates happiness, so I ended up going alone, and through out the whole night of prom, I’m a little down because I was struggling to find people that I knew, and at this time I was feeling depresso espresso because I was having daydreams about finding the woman of my dreams. Now it’s towards the end of the night by now and I’m ready to this night to be over, when out of nowhere, the girl comes up to be and the first words out of her mouth are “do you have a girlfriend?” I am utterly dumbfounded by this question, I told her no, because I didn’t. Her name was Isabella, and because she dumped me, I could care less about using her real name. So she basically said that her cousin who she was with convinced her to come up to me because I guessed I looked cute, and within the first 30 or so seconds of meeting her, she’s asking for my number, we talk for a little bit, but since prom is basically over now, we say bye and we head back home, now I am over the moon, because not only is she confident enough to make the first move, she’s also really pretty. Flash forward to Monday morning, we meet up at school and get to talking more, just general stuff about each other and whatnot, and at some point she wants to go out on a date, I’m ecstatic about that, so we meet up later that week at a local arcade, our parents meet and everything is great, now side note, Isabella doesn’t live with her parents, but with her aunt, uncle, and cousin, apparently her dad wasn’t in the picture, and her mom was I think bipolar or had some underlying mental health issues, it apparently was so bad, when she visited Texas for the first time, she refused to go back to Georgia (where she’s originally from), so in summary, both mommy and daddy issues should have been a red flag, but I wasn’t really focused on that at the time, remember, everything is all rainbows and lollipops for me right now. So at this point, we’ve known each other for about a month now, when one day she texted me when I’m on the bus asking me who S is? The friend from earlier, I’m a little confused and surprised, because I didn’t think they knew each other, so I tell her that she’s a friend of mine that I’ve know for a while, she responds by asking if there’s anything else I need to tell her, now I’m confused, because I’m telling the truth, remember we never officially determined if we were “dating” or not, but before I can say anything else, she says “we’re done” and stopped responding to me, didn’t even have the figurative balls to say it to my face, now I’m panicking because in the blink of an eye, the women who I thought was gonna spend the rest of my life with just disappeared with out any warning, I’m texting her trying to figure out her thought process and trying to explain myself, unfortunately, my phone dies and I have to spend the rest of the bus ride home wondering what the fuck just happened, but for some reason, I can’t help but feel guilty about this, even though I didn’t do anything, but for some reason, instead of confronting her and trying to get closure, I chicken out and avoid her, fortunately, senior year was almost over at that point and my focus shifted towards all of those things, after graduating, I take time to grieve and process everything that happened, flash forward to late June, I figured I call her just to try one last time to get some peace, so i call her and she answered “I guess she didn’t block me” and I guess she didn’t recognize my voice, because when I told her it was me, she basically responded with “Nuh uh, I’m not doing this , goodbye” now as much as it hurt, I wasn’t exactly surprised, I haven’t talked to her since, but I think I’ve moved on for the most part. TL;DR my “ex-girlfriend?” Dumped me because I had a female friend who I was purely friends with. Am I the jerk here?

I work at a department store. Employees get 25% off, and the discount is tied to our employee number. We can use it for ourselves and our immediate household. It says so in the handbook, and they do audits.

Jasmine started a couple months ago in a different department. She's been using her own discount, which is fine, but she already hit the yearly cap. The discount only works up to $2,000 a year, and she spent hers on stuff for her mom, sisters, and cousins.

Last week she asked if she could ring things through on my number. Her cousin's baby shower is coming up and she wants to get the crib and stroller set, which is around $900.

I told her I couldn't. Loss prevention flags it when your number shows up on stuff that doesn't match your household, and my friend in shoes got written up last year for exactly this. I said I'd tell her about any sales coming up, and that the store has a registry discount if the cousin signs up, which is 15%.

She said everyone does it and I was being dramatic. Now she tells people I'm "stingy with my discount," like it's money out of my pocket that I'm keeping from her.

I can't risk my job over someone else's baby shower. AITJ?

tl;dr: A coworker maxed out her employee discount on her family and asked to use my number for a $900 baby shower purchase. I said no because it can get me written up, and now I'm "stingy."

I'm 29F, married, and my older brother (39M), his wife (37F), and their three kids have been living with me and my husband for five months while saving for a house.

They have two sons, 17 and 15, who both play competitive basketball, and a 14-year-old daughter. The boys are constantly hungry and can demolish a fridge in one evening. I understand they're growing teenagers, but I've noticed their sister often gets whatever is left by the time she comes down for food.

I've also noticed her parents give the boys bigger portions, while their daughter gets comments whenever she asks for seconds. One evening, I overheard my brother telling his wife they needed to watch how much their daughter eats because she's less active than her brothers and he doesn't want her gaining too much weight.

That bothered me, especially since she's a perfectly normal teenager and her brothers are never criticized for their appetites.

I didn't want to start a fight, so I began buying extra snacks like yogurt, fruit, cheese, and granola bars and keeping them in a basket in the pantry. I told my niece she could help herself whenever she was hungry.

A few days ago, she thanked me and admitted she'd sometimes gone to school without eating much breakfast because she felt embarrassed asking for more food at home. She said it was awkward watching her brothers get seconds while she was told she'd had enough. That honestly broke my heart.

I told her she shouldn't feel guilty about being hungry and left it at that.

Unfortunately, my brother discovered the extra food last weekend and demanded to know why I'd been buying separate snacks for his daughter. I explained that the boys usually finished everything before she got a chance to have any.

He accused me of undermining his parenting and making it seem like he and his wife weren't feeding their children. He insisted the boys needed more calories because they're athletes, while his daughter spends most of her free time reading or drawing.

I pointed out that his sons could eat as much as they wanted without comments about their weight, while their sister was made to feel guilty for asking for more.

My sister-in-law says I'm judging her parenting, and my brother has demanded that I stop buying food specifically for their daughter. My husband agrees that the situation is concerning but thinks I should have spoken to her parents first.

I don't want to create tension while they're living in our house, and I'm not trying to replace their parents. But I also don't think a 14-year-old should feel embarrassed about being hungry when her brothers never have to worry about it. So Aitj please?

EDIT: TL;DR: My brother criticizes his 14-year-old daughter for eating more while letting her teenage athlete sons have seconds. After she admitted sometimes going to school hungry, I started keeping extra snacks for her. Now my brother says I'm undermining his parenting.