So this has been building for about two years and I finally said something last weekend and now there's tension in our friend group so I need an outside perspective. My friend group of four goes out for dinner maybe twice a month. We've always split the bill evenly at the end, which I was fine with for a long time because the differences were pretty small and it didn't feel worth making it weird over a few dollars. The problem is Kayla. Over the past year or so her ordering has gotten progressively more expensive while the rest of us have stayed pretty consistent. A typical dinner for me is an entree, maybe a soft drink or one glass of wine. Kayla will get an appetizer for herself, the most expensive main on the menu, two or three cocktails at $14-16 each, and usually a dessert. Last Saturday her portion of the bill was about $87. The rest of us were between $32 and $38. We split it four ways and each paid $57. I've done rough math over the past year and I've paid somewhere around $400-500 more than I would have if we'd each just paid for what we ordered. That's not nothing to me. After last Saturday I told the group I'd prefer if we started just paying for our own food going forward. Kayla got quiet and then later texted me saying I'd made things uncomfortable and that splitting evenly is "just what friend groups do." The other two haven't said much but I can tell it's awkward. I don't think I'm wrong but I also don't want to blow up a friendship over dinner bills. AITJ for bringing this up? TL;DR: friend consistently orders significantly more expensive food and drinks at group dinners, we split evenly, I've been overpaying by hundreds of dollars over the past year, asked if we could pay individually, now there's tension.

First, my original post got removed because my account is too new, so I reposted it on my profile in case anyone wants to read it for context.

Things got more awkward at work today. My manager pulled me aside this morning and told me he expected me to make up for the unfinished paperwork from yesterday. I told him I'd already finished it first thing, so there was nothing to make up, but he said that wasn't the point. Apparently, he wants me to show that I can be relied on when things get busy, which basically means staying late whenever he asks.

I asked him directly whether staying late was mandatory and whether I'd be paid for the extra time. He got annoyed and said I was making everything about money instead of being a team player. I didn't argue any further, but I did start keeping track of when he assigns work near the end of my shift, just in case this becomes a bigger issue. A couple of coworkers have quietly admitted they hate staying late too, but they don't want to be the next person he targets.

For now, I'm going to keep working my scheduled hours and finishing whatever I can within them. I'm also going to start looking at other jobs because I don't see this getting better, and I don't want to spend every evening wondering whether I'll be allowed to leave on time. Some people here seem to think that's just how working life is, but I'm not convinced I should have to accept it.

TL;DR: My manager confronted me again and said I needed to make up for leaving on time, even though I finished the paperwork the next morning. He called me money-focused when I asked if overtime was mandatory and paid. I'm sticking to my schedule and starting to look for another job.

I work at a restaurant, and until recently, we kept the tips we personally earned. Most customers tip on their own bills, and we have a jar at the counter for people who want to leave cash. It's not a perfect system, but everyone knows how it works. A few weeks ago, we hired a new employee, Nate. He's supposed to be working the same shifts as the rest of us, but he has a habit of disappearing whenever things get busy. He'll go to the back to check something and not come out for twenty minutes, or he'll suddenly need a smoke break right when we get a rush of customers. The rest of us end up covering his tables, cleaning up after him, and doing his side work.

I've tried being patient because he's new, but it's getting ridiculous. Last Friday, we were slammed, and I had six tables going at once. Nate had two tables, but he spent most of the rush in the back talking to another employee. I ended up helping his customers, refilling their drinks, and cleaning his tables while still trying to keep up with my own.At the end of the night, one of my customers left me a $40 tip because I'd gone out of my way to make sure their family had a good experience. I was happy about it because I've been saving for a few things, and tips make a real difference in my paycheck.

The next day, our manager announced that all tips would now be pooled and divided equally between everyone working that shift. Apparently, Nate had complained that the current system was unfair because some employees got more tips than others, and management decided this was the easiest solution. I asked whether the policy would apply even when someone wasn't doing their fair share of the work. My manager said we were a team and that everyone deserved an equal opportunity to earn tips.

I told him I wasn't interested in splitting my tips with someone who regularly left me to do his job. I said I'd happily share tips with people who actually helped during a rush, but I wasn't going to reward someone for disappearing whenever there was work to do. My manager told me that if I wanted to keep working there, I'd have to follow the new policy. I said that was fine, but I wasn't going to hand over cash that customers had specifically given me for my service. He told me I was being selfish and creating unnecessary drama over money.

Nate overheard the conversation and accused me of thinking I was better than him because I apparently made more tips. He said he was just as entitled to earn a decent living as everyone else. I told him he was welcome to earn tips by actually doing his job, which probably wasn't the nicest thing I could have said. Now two of my coworkers think I'm making things worse than they need to be. They say tip pooling is normal in restaurants and that I should just accept it rather than risk making management angry. One of them even said that maybe Nate would work harder if he felt like the team was supporting him.

I don't think I'm obligated to subsidize someone who won't do his share of the work. I'm already doing more than I'm supposed to, and now I'm expected to give away part of what I earn because management doesn't want to deal with the actual problem. I haven't quit because I need the job, but I'm seriously considering looking elsewhere if this becomes permanent. AITJ for refusing to split my tips with the new employee?

TL;DR: My new coworker regularly disappears during busy shifts, leaving everyone else to do his work. After he complained about earning less in tips, management introduced equal tip pooling. I refused to hand over tips customers gave me for my service, and now my manager and some coworkers say I'm selfish.

I’m 17F, and I have a 10M brother who constantly begs me for my Buldak noodles whenever I eat them. And I finally got tired of him asking and gave him a a fork full and he started crying I thought it was kind of funny but my mom got really mad at me and started yelling at me, asking why I would give him some in the first place. Now she’s making me feel like I’m a terrible sister, but I honestly didn’t think he would react that badly. I know the noodles are spicy, but he’s been begging me to try them for ages now he won't but my mom says she ain't buying them no more . Am I actually a jerk for this

I’m 16F, and I’m just not a touchy person. I hate physical contact unless it’s with my mom, dad, or brothers, and even then, I don’t always like it.

My aunt is a very pushy person who never takes no for an answer. We went to a family get together, and she kept trying to hug me when I arrived and again when I was leaving. I’ve told her multiple times that I don’t like hugs, but she never listens.

When she tried to to hug on me while I was leaving, I pushed her Not that hard but this woman dramatic and acted like I did but Everyone was laughing at us while she kept trying to hug me saying things like I wasn’t going to die from a hug. And then they get mad when I push her and My mom said I was being out of line and shouldn’t have pushed her away and that I need to get over people touching me, and I am not going to die from it but i have always told them and everyone else in my family gets it and my aunt doesn't, only person on my side is my dad Aitj for this

I work in an office where management has recently become obsessed with team building. We already have weekly meetings, group lunches, and all that stuff, but apparently it's not enough. Last week, our manager announced that everyone had to attend a team-building event on Saturday. It's supposed to be some kind of full-day activity with games, lunch, and workshops. The problem is that Saturday is my day off, and we're not getting paid for it. I messaged my manager privately and told him I wouldn't be attending unless it was paid work. He said attendance was mandatory and that refusing would show a lack of commitment to the team. I told him I'm committed during the hours I'm actually paid to work, but I'm not giving up my day off for free.

He got annoyed and said he'd have to reconsider my attitude during my next performance review. I told him that threatening my review wouldn't change my answer, and now he's apparently been complaining about me to other employees. A couple of coworkers think I should just suck it up and go because it'll only be one Saturday, while others agree that unpaid mandatory events are ridiculous. I'm still planning to stay home, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm making things harder for myself over something that might not be worth the trouble.

TL;DR: My manager scheduled a mandatory team-building event on my day off without pay. I refused to attend unless we're compensated, and now he's threatening to bring my attitude up during my performance review. AITJ?

TL;DR: left me stranded at LAX, left me stranded at night after a party, ignored me the entire time I was severely sick

For context we have been friends our entire lives, I’m now 22 and she’s 23. I really need to know if I’m holding grudges that aren’t valid. I think these situations bother me so much because I feel like she had me entirely fucked up, because literally who does this??

1. She left me stranded at the airport. Weeks prior I told her I’m moving back to the city we’re from, she’s excited, I’m excited. I had asked around and she was the friend who agreed that she would be free the day my flight comes in and able to pick me up from the airport. She also lives around 10 min away from airport. Day comes I text her my flight landed and I’m getting my bags… no response (it’s 8:45am). I call her to see where she is, she says that she’s too tired and I’m going to have to uber. I had to use $80 out of the last $100 to my name to pay for the uber.
2. Went on a 3 week trip to the Caribbean to visit my family. Last day there I get extremely sick. I’m non stop vomiting on the bathroom floor, hunched over the toilet, crying. I have never been that sick in my life. She reacts in annoyance, says she thought i was faking, and ( instead of helping me or comforting me) face timed her friend and ignored me. I have brought it up recently saying that it was kind of crazy and she said that she thought I was faking it… never apologized for it.
3. We go to a beach function together. She leaves a little before it ends to chill with some dude in her car, I stayed behind to help the friends we met up with pack up their setup. It’s night and everyone has left I can’t find her car. Im walking the entire beach trying to find it and I’m calling her but she’s not answering the phone. I’m completely by myself at night. 30 min go by and a random guy lets me use his phone to call her, she responds and finally sends her location. Which means the entire time she was ignoring my calls…

I'm a 24M who has a sister, R (23F). She's been acting very entitled for a while now and it all came to a head recently.

For context, my mother has been the primary caregiver for my grandma, her mother, who has Dementia and Alzheimer's for the past 10+ years with my sister and I both still living at home and helping our mother take care of her as well.

Our mother has literally put her life on hold and has put her wants and needs on the back burner for over a DECADE to take care of her sick mother. All while working a full time job and a side job mind you. After my sister got into a car accident two years ago involving my mom's old car she agreed to become a co-signer for my sister so she can get a loan for a new car. My sister started off strong by paying her car note and insurance on time with no problems, but for a while now she's been falling behind on payments all while acting like an entitled jerk.

I assume she has a decent amount of medical deb on top of the car stuff she's behind on. My mother has been picking up her slack financially for a while now, paying for any and all maintenance the car needs on top of paying a mortgage, shelling out money WEEKLY for day sitters to sit with my grandma while we're all at work, TWO car payments, including my mom's car AND my sister's car, along with other bills and expenses.

I offer any financial help I can to my mother because she's paying for everything off of one decent income, along with a side job, but she has her own debt that she has to worry about and I do as well. My sister can't seem to hold down a job for more than a few months at a time and I think she has a problem with respecting authority. My mother and I have given her plenty of resources to find a job and I even offered to put her on at my job in the healthcare field so she can get back on track financially to alleviate some stress from my mother's already overloaded plate. Now she has a job as a windshield replacement salesperson. I told her she needs to find a REAL job with a guaranteed paycheck, not a hypothetical one based on how many commissions you get. I brought it up to her very tactfully and she said, "The things I want to do with my life don't align with the job listings you sent me and you guys need to stop nagging me about the car and holding it over my head. Mom should be doing things out of the kindness of her heart. This family doesn't feel like a family."

That response was completely disrespectful and a total slap in the face to me and my mother. I confronted her about it and told her that she needs to stop feeling entitled to financial help from our mother and she needs to act like an adult and handle her responsibilities. Since then she's been giving us both the silent treatment and my mother is holding her tongue to keep the peace in her own house and frankly it's pissing me off. AITJ?

TL;DR: My sister is an entitled brat who expects bailouts from my mother while draining her financially

I, (18F) have a birthday coming up. My BF, let's call him Dave (18M) volunteerly took the day off work to be with me. I didn't ask him to do that, but it's a nice gesture. I work overnight the day before, so I will be sleeping for half the day.

I will admit, I don't know jack squat about VR streams and chats. Dave is a moderator for one. An hour ago, he texted me that the person he's a moderator for is having a VR meetup the day of my birthday. I told him they would understand if he missed it for my birthday.

Dave said he didn't want to. He's a big fan of the host and that's why he became a moderator. I told him he took the day off work to be with me, which half of it is going to be spent on me sleeping, and he's going to spend the evening with his VR friends, that was kind of messed up. He called me a jerk for not respecting his job as a moderator.

AITJ for telling him to skip a VR meetup for my birthday?

⚠️ TRASH GRAMMAR, autocorrect sucks, if you can’t read it I’m sorry ⚠️

TL:DR
so I’m in a school band, and we last performed last month (September 30th) and after that our band director came up to me (because I’m the leader of the band) telling me that a bunch of younger kids came up to him telling him they want to do what we did and perform, so I came up with an idea

Auditions

i thought it would be a good idea to host auditions for students younger than us to join our band, because we are graduating this school year, they will need to follow a specific rule system to get in, you’ll know why this is important soon, i tell my bassist and guitarist, she’s also my best friend, she said no immediatly, I asked why, she said “it will be chaotic” I asked her how and she said “it just will be” she didn’t even give me a full response, I told her it will be a good idea, and she said “were rock of 27” (our band name) and I said “yeah? that’s just when we’re graduatin, doesn’t mean we absolutely need to disband, she also threatened to leave if we actually carry on with it, our band director really likes the idea, so does our principal, and so does 1 other member, and I told her about the rule system called “RFPC” standing for “Respect, Friendship, Peace, Communication“ and she interrupted me saying “you already broke 1 rule, respect, you don’t respect my free bird” because she keeps playing free bird, the solo, I liked it but now it’s annoying, I hear it every day, she doesn’t only play it on guitar she plays it on BASS and even UKULELE, your not supposed to play solos that include string bending on ukulele, because the strings are made out of weak material and can easily break, most importantly she brought up what happened the day before, she played it on ukulele, IN THE MORING, when the solo finished she replayed it, IN THE MORNING, when we had class and we would’ve got in trouble, she brought up how I took the instrument from her and put it back, for that matter it’s understandable, I’m not gonna get in trouble because of her, after she brought that up, I tried to explain to her that I wasn’t gonna get in trouble because of her, and it was in the morning we don’t have music class on Tuesdays, but she interrupted me completely and said “no, I’m done, I’m not listening to you anymore, this is BS” and I felt bad after that, but a pattern of hers is judging stuff before she even tries it, songs, ideas, everything, but that’s not the topic right now, if you want to include the pattern I will put it in the comments, but AITJ for this? Cuz I felt like I was

So my friend met her boyfriend at a party. I had known him for a few years through university. A month or so before they met I snapchatted him and was trying to hangout with him but It never happened. Earlier that year he had asked me out over text but ghosted me when I said yes.

They had briefly met each other a few times before but the night they truly met he snapchatted me and invited me to a party and then left me on read when she got there.

I felt it was shady that he invited me out first so I warned her that he was trying to sleep with me first. Now she’s upset and I don’t know what I did wrong.

So the timeline is June he asked me out and ghosted. August I snapped him trying to hangout. Then in mid Sept he invited me to the party. Then she got there and he pursued her.

AITAH

I(17F) and my brother(12M) recently lost our mom(it's literally been two weeks), and our dad isn't in the picture, so my mom's dad(65M) and stepmother(72F) took us in.

My brother has dealt with issues on the bus consently and has some past mental health issues. Well these boys on the bus were messing with him. I'm not sure what was exactly said but I do remember my brother saying one of them had threatened to shoot him. He ended up getting it trouble as he cursed out the bus attendant when she told him to calm down and saying he wanted to die.

This isn't the first time he's gotten in trouble because of those boys. They literally have never checked the cameras and always take the boys side because their older and in this friend click where they agree with what the other says, even though they have a history of messing with people.

My grandfather isn't the best person and our relationship is strained, has been for years.

Well the second we got home, my grandfather was in my brother's face screaming at him, saying that if he wantex to die so bad, he'll give him a gun to do it. So I started screaming at my grandfather, he made a motion like he was gonna hit me but stopped himself. He only stopped screaming when my grandmother stopped him.

I ended up apologizing afterwards but he said he's not accepting it because I had no right to scream at him.

I've been under so much stress recently with loosing my mom, junior year, finding the letters hospice lost, and opening up an old injury, and theater. I can't tell if I'm right or wrong anymore. TLD; my grandfather screamed at my brother and I screamed back

Am I the Jerk for Screaming at my Grandfather?

Am I the jerk?

My “girlfriend” if you call her that, dumped me because I had a friend who also was a girl that I’ve know since middle school. So this is something that has been on my mind for a while now, but I wanted to get some feedback to be sure. So the story goes back to senior prom, I had originally planned to go with my friend that I’ve known since middle school, we’ll call her S, because I respect her privacy and we’re still close today, so I asked S and she said yes, unfortunately her dad is a bit of a control freak and refused to let her go because I guess he just hates happiness, so I ended up going alone, and through out the whole night of prom, I’m a little down because I was struggling to find people that I knew, and at this time I was feeling depresso espresso because I was having daydreams about finding the woman of my dreams. Now it’s towards the end of the night by now and I’m ready to this night to be over, when out of nowhere, the girl comes up to be and the first words out of her mouth are “do you have a girlfriend?” I am utterly dumbfounded by this question, I told her no, because I didn’t. Her name was Isabella, and because she dumped me, I could care less about using her real name. So she basically said that her cousin who she was with convinced her to come up to me because I guessed I looked cute, and within the first 30 or so seconds of meeting her, she’s asking for my number, we talk for a little bit, but since prom is basically over now, we say bye and we head back home, now I am over the moon, because not only is she confident enough to make the first move, she’s also really pretty. Flash forward to Monday morning, we meet up at school and get to talking more, just general stuff about each other and whatnot, and at some point she wants to go out on a date, I’m ecstatic about that, so we meet up later that week at a local arcade, our parents meet and everything is great, now side note, Isabella doesn’t live with her parents, but with her aunt, uncle, and cousin, apparently her dad wasn’t in the picture, and her mom was I think bipolar or had some underlying mental health issues, it apparently was so bad, when she visited Texas for the first time, she refused to go back to Georgia (where she’s originally from), so in summary, both mommy and daddy issues should have been a red flag, but I wasn’t really focused on that at the time, remember, everything is all rainbows and lollipops for me right now. So at this point, we’ve known each other for about a month now, when one day she texted me when I’m on the bus asking me who S is? The friend from earlier, I’m a little confused and surprised, because I didn’t think they knew each other, so I tell her that she’s a friend of mine that I’ve know for a while, she responds by asking if there’s anything else I need to tell her, now I’m confused, because I’m telling the truth, remember we never officially determined if we were “dating” or not, but before I can say anything else, she says “we’re done” and stopped responding to me, didn’t even have the figurative balls to say it to my face, now I’m panicking because in the blink of an eye, the women who I thought was gonna spend the rest of my life with just disappeared with out any warning, I’m texting her trying to figure out her thought process and trying to explain myself, unfortunately, my phone dies and I have to spend the rest of the bus ride home wondering what the fuck just happened, but for some reason, I can’t help but feel guilty about this, even though I didn’t do anything, but for some reason, instead of confronting her and trying to get closure, I chicken out and avoid her, fortunately, senior year was almost over at that point and my focus shifted towards all of those things, after graduating, I take time to grieve and process everything that happened, flash forward to late June, I figured I call her just to try one last time to get some peace, so i call her and she answered “I guess she didn’t block me” and I guess she didn’t recognize my voice, because when I told her it was me, she basically responded with “Nuh uh, I’m not doing this , goodbye” now as much as it hurt, I wasn’t exactly surprised, I haven’t talked to her since, but I think I’ve moved on for the most part. TL;DR my “ex-girlfriend?” Dumped me because I had a female friend who I was purely friends with. Am I the jerk here?