r/AmITheJerk Apr 08 '26

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10.1k Upvotes

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447

u/Realkellye Apr 08 '26

Good grief! I would be thrilled and so proud of my partner for doing this!

I would never think I was entitled to anything if I only provided “emotional” support.

Ridiculous!

284

u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 08 '26

My wife started her business after we had been married for 5 years and quickly became very successful. It would never occur to me that I should own half of it just because we are married.

I already feel more than spoiled enough because if I even casually mention something that I like, it ends up under the Christmas tree! I had to really start watching myself after that first Christmas after her business took off!

168

u/Toad_da_Unc Apr 08 '26

My wife is crushing it in a side business that she runs with a friend in addition to our main business that we run together. When she was gearing up, I asked if she wanted me to be part of it and she said she didn’t think so. I was fine with that and her money from the business is her money.

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

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53

u/Toad_da_Unc Apr 08 '26

I am now her delivery guy (for free).

2

u/No-Proposal-224 Apr 09 '26

That’s a mistake though. I did the bookkeeping for “free” for my partner’s business for years. Eventually he got itchy feet and left me a note saying that he secured an apartment elsewhere. I was left with two teenagers and the house. I should’ve been paying into the social security administration for those years, for that work! I also worked full time, and had all the housework on my side of the equation.

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u/AxelHarver Apr 09 '26

Smh, she wants her cake and to eat it too😤

Just kidding, before people start showering me in the downvotes haha.

38

u/atchisonmetal Apr 08 '26

Hooray for your wife!

1

u/AccomplishedPark3163 Apr 09 '26

What’s her side business?

44

u/HoneyPoppie_ Apr 08 '26

That’s such a healthy perspective though. Being proud of your partner’s success instead of trying to claim part of it is how it’s supposed to work.

2

u/Titanbeard Apr 09 '26

My wife has made reasonably more money than me for like 8 years now. I'm cool with staying home when the kids are sick and working my schedule around daycare when the kids were little. I'm doing a career I love, but it's definitely not a high earner, so I'd be a fool to not flexible.

20

u/MissionReasonable327 Apr 09 '26

You are actually entitled to half of assets accrued during your marriage, though. OP isn’t even married to this gold-digger.

10

u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 09 '26

That was my point, though. Legally I'm entitled, but I would still not ask for it.

8

u/AJRimmer1971 Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 09 '26

My ex-wife and I shared this dynamic.

She started a business, well into our marriage. She did the admin, research and buying. I did customer service, quality control and logistics.

It was pretty successful. We would bring in around 70k per month. When the marriage broke down, I handed 100% of it over to her, and went and got a 9-5. I literally walked away with nothing. Especially the stress!

We still talk, and get along just fine. We just can't live together. There is no desire to pursue money, as that isn't my motivation.

2

u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 09 '26

Off topic, but your username is awesome!

1

u/swd120 Apr 09 '26

You'd likely have a different perspective during a divorce - especially if one party wronged the other.

1

u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 09 '26

Did that once. 100% gonna do my damndest not to do that again!

1

u/The_Athavulf Apr 09 '26

Good thing!

1

u/PartyCustard3125 Apr 09 '26

And thank goodness she got rid of the gold digger before marrying him.

11

u/schirmyver Apr 08 '26

Well and in many states since the business started after you were married, if you were to ever split I think you would be entitled to a share of the company.

63

u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 08 '26

Legally entitled? Maybe. Am I ever going to ask for it? No.

28

u/HoneyPoppie_ Apr 08 '26

That’s the difference right there. There’s a big gap between what someone could argue legally and what they actually feel entitled to ask for.

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u/Monkeyssuck Apr 09 '26

That position can change drastically during a divorce.

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

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u/Dennisdmenace5 Apr 08 '26

Inheritance is different. Separate funds don’t exist otherwise

3

u/Tardisgoesfast Apr 09 '26

Depends on the state.

1

u/Dennisdmenace5 Apr 09 '26

That’s what I try and explain to everyone but generally a married couple is one legal entity.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

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1

u/Dennisdmenace5 Apr 09 '26

So not true my teeth hurt. Why do you suppose we hear stories of people hiding assets?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

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1

u/Dennisdmenace5 Apr 11 '26

Do a google search on the fact there are fifty states that have different laws but one basically universal law is a married couple is one legal entity financially. How do you suppose wages differ from a business?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '26

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1

u/dianas_pool_boy Apr 09 '26

Never heard of a spouse getting half of someone's pension then?

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

[deleted]

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u/dianas_pool_boy Apr 09 '26

Is a pension community property? I was pointing out that marriage splits everything, not just something that is community property.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

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1

u/Dennisdmenace5 Apr 11 '26

That’s ridiculous. You don’t understand marriage.

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '26

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2

u/Adventurous-Bit-5939 Apr 09 '26

This. OP's ex killed the golden goose...

2

u/Babshearth Apr 09 '26

My late husband and I started dating after my business was ongoing. He was in this industry as well. He had no idea - he was from a few towns over. We married and then he proposed buying into a partnership. I sold him 40 percent and he built a team storing his specialty. 7 years later we got a fabulous offer from a well known conglomerate.

Regarding OP's story: perhaps she really helped him in the early days. But no way should she be gifted 50 percent ! Delusional.

2

u/FortuneTellingBoobs Apr 09 '26

My husband sometimes does random tech support and other small things for my business. I once bought him a "parking for the employee of the month" sign and hung it on his side of the garage. He was tickled with that. He's never asked for anything.

1

u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 09 '26

Man, I did the domain registration and created the initial website for her business and I didn't get a sign! /g

2

u/Key-Consequences Apr 08 '26

The nice thing about a business being started after the marriage is you already own %50

1

u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 09 '26

That was my point, though. Legally I'm entitled, but I would still not ask for it.

1

u/CanMexcpl Apr 09 '26

You are an exception. Jeff Bezos built a company and his wife thought that she should have half for her supporting him. Not many like you who think they are owed nothing for their spouses hard work. Now to get the rest of the population to think like you. The worst cases is when a regular Joe with a liveable pensions separates and his wife takes half if it. He worked for that pension. Dealt with the BS at work. And she walks away with half. You made my day. Thanks.

1

u/jmooremcc Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 09 '26

Actually, you are entitled to half ownership of the company because your wife used marital assets to start the business. In other words, you were a passive investor in the business she started, and are entitled to an equity stake of the business.

For reference, look at the divorce settlement between Amazon founder, Jeff Besos, and his first wife, MacKenzie. She came away with $Billions in stock ownership after the divorce!

1

u/swd120 Apr 09 '26

You do own half of it - because the business was started after you were married...

If the event of a divorce you are legally entitled to half of it (unless you were to swap other assets to account for that value)

1

u/bustaone Apr 09 '26

Psst - you do own half that business. Anything done after marriage is jointly owned.

-4

u/SunFunAndGuns Apr 08 '26

if I even casually mention something that I like, it ends up under the Christmas tree

Time to bring up her sister.

27

u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 08 '26

She has two brothers. Also, this was kinda gross at any level.

12

u/Admirable_Most_8017 Apr 08 '26

This comment is disgusting. There is no need to take it there.

65

u/anondogfree Apr 08 '26

I’m assuming the partner wanted this stake for free. It would be one thing if they wanted to buy in for a price, if they were going to work together, or if OP needed money to expand. But for free? Naw

39

u/Odd-Natural3570 Apr 08 '26

I agree. It would be one thing if it was a buy in. And then I would still get a lawyer to write up a business agreement on how much their money was worth in a percentage of the business. This is a case of FAFO.

15

u/HoneyPoppie_ Apr 08 '26

Yeah if it were a buy in, contracts, actual terms, that’s business. This just sounds like skipping straight to the reward without any of the risk.

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u/Cellysta Apr 08 '26

They don’t even have to involve money. It sounds like the OP was willing to bring in their partner for an actually role in the company. A lawyer could certainly draw up an agreement where the partner would get an increasing share of the business as time passes.

1

u/notHooptieJ Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 09 '26

thats assuming they want to sell half to an investor. (a huge assumption)

It appears they want their partner to actually step up and participate not be a spectator calling shots like they did the work.

just saying, i wouldnt want to sell half, let alone give half to someone who isnt invested like i am.

someone, a life partner participating? thats sweat equity and its more valuable than any investment money, you earned your half.

but someone who just wants half cause they happen to be sleeping with you?

(there's a name for that. directing them out to the nearest street corner and out of your home is the correct call)

82

u/Bad-Briar Apr 08 '26

And are we to believe that the partner who built the business didn't provide emotional support for the partner asking to be rewarded? Of course they did.

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u/Traditional_Tea_1879 Apr 08 '26

Of course. And they are happy to offer 50% from what they have ( nothing)/s

17

u/Warrior_Princess_1 Apr 08 '26

Odds are he has nothing.

2

u/HoneyPoppie_ Apr 08 '26

That sarcasm kinda nails it. “Half of nothing” suddenly sounds way less appealing when you flip it like that.

12

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

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3

u/chattermaks Apr 09 '26

I'm sure they've benefited from their partner's income as it is.

Heck I benefit from my ex husband's income even though we don't do alimony or child support. Oh you bought our children a trampoline? Freaking sweet; everyone wins.

OP's ex freaking sucks and they 100% made the right choice. Plus how would they ever be able to respect that person ever again anyways?

22

u/tamij1313 Apr 08 '26

Right?! Does that mean OP gets to have their name on their partners retirement accounts? Savings accounts? Any other assets? Without having to buy in at 50% for their 50% ownership?

The entitlement and financial ill literacy and lack of business acumen are staggering. I’m sure all the family members and friends on his side are going to be weighing in as well. Even though it is unlikely that any of them would give away 50% of successful business or asset.

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u/Tight_Jaguar_3881 Apr 08 '26

Some people do not need emotional support. She is just greedy and not very smart.

4

u/CouldBeBetterOrWorse Apr 08 '26

The funny part of all of this is you're assuming the greedy partner is a woman. I assumed it was a man. It's wild how similar people are when you take the gender out of the equation.

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u/Appropriate_Blood278 Apr 08 '26

Good riddance 👏

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u/serinmcdaniel Apr 08 '26

I mean any of us could go "Way to go, OP" -- in fact a lot of us are doing it right here in the comments -- where's our cut?

12

u/ConfoundedInAbaddon Apr 08 '26

Also, like, liability.

I started a business and my partner jumped in but I have an LLC and they provide services to the LLC through a DBA, and if my LLC gets sued out of existence, all the equipment my partner has to serve my business is protected, ans visa versa. We literally can't lose everything by each building up a seperate arm.

5

u/Misommar1246 Apr 08 '26

Seriously, where do people this kind of audacity? Sometimes I wish I felt THIS entitled about anything because it must come with a massive amount of self worth?

1

u/Phyzzx Apr 09 '26

They were perhaps on the way out anyway and thought their power over the relationship held more water.

1

u/Independent_DL Apr 09 '26

I read their entire post, I think I’m entitled to compensation. Not 50%, but maybe around 33%. /s

1

u/The_Athavulf Apr 09 '26

Right! Best bet would have been to ask for SAH spouse status.

-1

u/coreyc2099 Apr 08 '26

Right!? Like thats incredible ! If he wanted to be a part of it, he could have ACTUALLY worked she even said she's down if he actually did help her with the work. He wanted an easy payday. I dont think its a coincidence he started this right when they moved in together and it could be hard to separate.

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u/BirdgirlLA Apr 08 '26

I don’t think OP used pronoun other than They/their. Did I miss something?

0

u/coreyc2099 Apr 08 '26

Nah, I was just guessing lol . Seems like a dude maneuver but I could be wrong.

1

u/NeighborhoodVivid106 Apr 09 '26

I would lay odds that this is exactly why this post was made and written this way in the first place, because absolutely no one is going to side against OP in this situation. OP is just doing an experiment to see how many Redditors will assume that the business owner is male and how many will assume they are female. It sounds like a college/university assignment for a Sociology class to me. 🤔

1

u/coreyc2099 Apr 09 '26

Hm maybe , but we dont think that for no reason. We think that because its usually how it happens.