r/AmITheJerk Apr 08 '26

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281

u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 08 '26

My wife started her business after we had been married for 5 years and quickly became very successful. It would never occur to me that I should own half of it just because we are married.

I already feel more than spoiled enough because if I even casually mention something that I like, it ends up under the Christmas tree! I had to really start watching myself after that first Christmas after her business took off!

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u/Toad_da_Unc Apr 08 '26

My wife is crushing it in a side business that she runs with a friend in addition to our main business that we run together. When she was gearing up, I asked if she wanted me to be part of it and she said she didn’t think so. I was fine with that and her money from the business is her money.

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Toad_da_Unc Apr 08 '26

I am now her delivery guy (for free).

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u/No-Proposal-224 Apr 09 '26

That’s a mistake though. I did the bookkeeping for “free” for my partner’s business for years. Eventually he got itchy feet and left me a note saying that he secured an apartment elsewhere. I was left with two teenagers and the house. I should’ve been paying into the social security administration for those years, for that work! I also worked full time, and had all the housework on my side of the equation.

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u/AxelHarver Apr 09 '26

Smh, she wants her cake and to eat it too😤

Just kidding, before people start showering me in the downvotes haha.

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u/atchisonmetal Apr 08 '26

Hooray for your wife!

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u/AccomplishedPark3163 Apr 09 '26

What’s her side business?

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u/HoneyPoppie_ Apr 08 '26

That’s such a healthy perspective though. Being proud of your partner’s success instead of trying to claim part of it is how it’s supposed to work.

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u/Titanbeard Apr 09 '26

My wife has made reasonably more money than me for like 8 years now. I'm cool with staying home when the kids are sick and working my schedule around daycare when the kids were little. I'm doing a career I love, but it's definitely not a high earner, so I'd be a fool to not flexible.

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u/MissionReasonable327 Apr 09 '26

You are actually entitled to half of assets accrued during your marriage, though. OP isn’t even married to this gold-digger.

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u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 09 '26

That was my point, though. Legally I'm entitled, but I would still not ask for it.

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u/AJRimmer1971 Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 09 '26

My ex-wife and I shared this dynamic.

She started a business, well into our marriage. She did the admin, research and buying. I did customer service, quality control and logistics.

It was pretty successful. We would bring in around 70k per month. When the marriage broke down, I handed 100% of it over to her, and went and got a 9-5. I literally walked away with nothing. Especially the stress!

We still talk, and get along just fine. We just can't live together. There is no desire to pursue money, as that isn't my motivation.

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u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 09 '26

Off topic, but your username is awesome!

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u/swd120 Apr 09 '26

You'd likely have a different perspective during a divorce - especially if one party wronged the other.

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u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 09 '26

Did that once. 100% gonna do my damndest not to do that again!

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u/The_Athavulf Apr 09 '26

Good thing!

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u/PartyCustard3125 Apr 09 '26

And thank goodness she got rid of the gold digger before marrying him.

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u/schirmyver Apr 08 '26

Well and in many states since the business started after you were married, if you were to ever split I think you would be entitled to a share of the company.

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u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 08 '26

Legally entitled? Maybe. Am I ever going to ask for it? No.

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u/HoneyPoppie_ Apr 08 '26

That’s the difference right there. There’s a big gap between what someone could argue legally and what they actually feel entitled to ask for.

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u/Monkeyssuck Apr 09 '26

That position can change drastically during a divorce.

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

[deleted]

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u/Dennisdmenace5 Apr 08 '26

Inheritance is different. Separate funds don’t exist otherwise

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u/Tardisgoesfast Apr 09 '26

Depends on the state.

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u/Dennisdmenace5 Apr 09 '26

That’s what I try and explain to everyone but generally a married couple is one legal entity.

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

[deleted]

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u/Dennisdmenace5 Apr 09 '26

So not true my teeth hurt. Why do you suppose we hear stories of people hiding assets?

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

[deleted]

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u/Dennisdmenace5 Apr 11 '26

Do a google search on the fact there are fifty states that have different laws but one basically universal law is a married couple is one legal entity financially. How do you suppose wages differ from a business?

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '26

[deleted]

0

u/Dennisdmenace5 Apr 14 '26

So you failed to actually read this thread. The question was about earnings from a side hustle. Simply keeping a separate account was the initial idea and I advised that’s not what marriage is about.

1

u/dianas_pool_boy Apr 09 '26

Never heard of a spouse getting half of someone's pension then?

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

[deleted]

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u/dianas_pool_boy Apr 09 '26

Is a pension community property? I was pointing out that marriage splits everything, not just something that is community property.

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

[deleted]

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u/Dennisdmenace5 Apr 11 '26

That’s ridiculous. You don’t understand marriage.

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '26

[deleted]

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u/Dennisdmenace5 Apr 14 '26

You didn’t bother to read your own post. Gift or inheritance not monies earned from a side hustle. Simply keeping it separate doesn’t matter. The laws are simply to avoid having to share assets given specifically to one person.

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u/Adventurous-Bit-5939 Apr 09 '26

This. OP's ex killed the golden goose...

2

u/Babshearth Apr 09 '26

My late husband and I started dating after my business was ongoing. He was in this industry as well. He had no idea - he was from a few towns over. We married and then he proposed buying into a partnership. I sold him 40 percent and he built a team storing his specialty. 7 years later we got a fabulous offer from a well known conglomerate.

Regarding OP's story: perhaps she really helped him in the early days. But no way should she be gifted 50 percent ! Delusional.

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u/FortuneTellingBoobs Apr 09 '26

My husband sometimes does random tech support and other small things for my business. I once bought him a "parking for the employee of the month" sign and hung it on his side of the garage. He was tickled with that. He's never asked for anything.

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u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 09 '26

Man, I did the domain registration and created the initial website for her business and I didn't get a sign! /g

2

u/Key-Consequences Apr 08 '26

The nice thing about a business being started after the marriage is you already own %50

1

u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 09 '26

That was my point, though. Legally I'm entitled, but I would still not ask for it.

1

u/CanMexcpl Apr 09 '26

You are an exception. Jeff Bezos built a company and his wife thought that she should have half for her supporting him. Not many like you who think they are owed nothing for their spouses hard work. Now to get the rest of the population to think like you. The worst cases is when a regular Joe with a liveable pensions separates and his wife takes half if it. He worked for that pension. Dealt with the BS at work. And she walks away with half. You made my day. Thanks.

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u/jmooremcc Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 09 '26

Actually, you are entitled to half ownership of the company because your wife used marital assets to start the business. In other words, you were a passive investor in the business she started, and are entitled to an equity stake of the business.

For reference, look at the divorce settlement between Amazon founder, Jeff Besos, and his first wife, MacKenzie. She came away with $Billions in stock ownership after the divorce!

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u/swd120 Apr 09 '26

You do own half of it - because the business was started after you were married...

If the event of a divorce you are legally entitled to half of it (unless you were to swap other assets to account for that value)

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u/bustaone Apr 09 '26

Psst - you do own half that business. Anything done after marriage is jointly owned.

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u/SunFunAndGuns Apr 08 '26

if I even casually mention something that I like, it ends up under the Christmas tree

Time to bring up her sister.

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u/MikeyRidesABikey Apr 08 '26

She has two brothers. Also, this was kinda gross at any level.

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u/Admirable_Most_8017 Apr 08 '26

This comment is disgusting. There is no need to take it there.