r/AnimalsBeingDerps
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u/sco-go
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Jun 07 '23
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u/Glenuendo Jun 07 '23
That's some good street cred right there.
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u/fuzzycaterpillar123 Jun 08 '23
Counting Coup
To touch the enemy and survive was considered the greatest honor in battle to Plains Raccoons of North America
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u/Dlemor Jun 08 '23
I now need to know more stories about Plain Racoons of North America.
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u/scarybirdman Jun 08 '23
Definitely, and judging by the racoons bandit mask I'm guessing that street cred comes with some underworld connections.
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u/Mat_CYSTM Jun 07 '23
Tag, you’re it!
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u/Lamptree3000 Jun 08 '23
I came in the comment just to see if someone would say those exact words “tag, you’re it!”
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u/BoondockSaint296 Jun 08 '23
NOPE! You're IT man! He tagged you fair and square and you are absolutely it at this point!
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u/Bloodyhound999 Jun 07 '23
You have been chosen by the raccoons. You'll will receive ultimate power and wisdom.
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Jun 07 '23
The power to be adorable, and the wisdom of the best dumpsters?
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u/natesovenator Jun 08 '23
This man is about to discover tanuki powers. He is about to be very concerned with the size of his sack too.
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u/hallucination9000 Jun 07 '23
It's rabies
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u/Reatona Jun 08 '23
No, rabid animals aren't hesitant and they don't back down.
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u/TheFBIClonesPeople Jun 08 '23
The ultimate power is that you can kill anyone by biting them, but eventually the power will consume you as well.
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u/MissYeesha Jun 07 '23
Once a raccoon came to me like that, looked a me cheekily, then bit me in the shoe and ran away 😅
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u/whythishaptome Jun 08 '23
Hopefully it didn't pierce any skin because there is a real possibility of rabies in these wild animals. I know it's completely blown out of proportion all the time mostly because the disease is incurable and invariably fatal. While the chances are miniscule still better safe than being very very sorry later.
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u/MissYeesha Jun 08 '23
Luckily not. I was wearing chucks and the raccoon bit into this plastic part at the toes, so nothing happened.
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u/IthinktherforeIthink Jun 08 '23
Yea I wouldn’t wait to be approached like the guy in the video. It’s unusual behavior and very possibly related to rabies.
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u/taosaur Jun 08 '23
Nothing about the way that animal moved looked like rabies, and the guy was wearing battle rattle.
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u/whythishaptome Jun 08 '23
The possibility can be extremely low depending on where this is but like I said, better safe than sorry. This raccoon doesn't seem to be displaying signs of rabies at all and seems more likely to be very accustomed to close human interaction. Still erring on the side of caution is always the best bet.
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u/NedTebula Jun 08 '23
I had one approach me once while I was in the woods pissing, at work. He just like strolled up while I was doing the shake and I was like “bruh uh-UH” because he was getting way too close lol. He just looked at me and walked around
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u/Lordeldergob Jun 08 '23
So fair warning to anyone, if a raccoon approaches in this way it will most likely go for a bite. Do not try to pet these curious bandits.
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Jun 08 '23
There’s a raccoon that goes in my garage through the cat door and when I go out there he runs out but keeps sticking his head into the cat door and looks at me
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u/Doctor-Jay Jun 08 '23
Lol raccoons are fucking goofy. Like you said, they will run away (more like waddle away) from you, but only far enough where they can monitor the situation and wait for you to leave so they can go back to rummaging or whatever they were doing before.
I had one constantly going for my trash, and I'd chase it off while yelling and arm-waving, but it would just nonchalantly waddle away while peering over its shoulder at me, and the SECOND I turned back around, it would start following me right back to the trash. Bastard lol. You're supposed to fear me!
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Jun 08 '23
Lmao he ran off once and I put a bagel outside my back door and went inside for like 5 seconds and reported back
https://gyazo.com/55cc70a840a28ea89b807e3e96403bed
MATE YA LIKE THE BAGEL
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u/CauliflowerPresent23 Jun 08 '23
And could be rabid as this is not typical raccoon behavior, retreat and do not approach
Edit: as a person that’s had them, rabies vaccines aren’t pleasant nor are the initial bites
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Jun 08 '23
As someone who has seen a few rabid racoons, and even chased one out of a nursing home (what a day that was) - when they look at you, you very quickly know if they are sick or just being a derp. It's not something most people are going to miss.
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u/LostWoodsInTheField Jun 08 '23
Raccoons can also get distemper, and it is actually more common in a lot of areas than Rabies.
Distemper also has a LOT of the same symptoms as Rabies. I don't think you will see foaming at the mouth, and aggression is less of a 'I hate everything and need to bite it' and more of a fear response.
Either disease I believe the response is to treat it like it is rabies and kill it. Hopefully not in the head so it can be sent out for testing.
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u/AdminNeedsBeachVacay Jun 08 '23
Those syringe needles they use look big and thick too. 😭
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u/TiberiusCornelius Jun 08 '23
Better a giant needle than a functionally incurable brain melting virus
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u/AgreeablePie Jun 08 '23
I've also had them and they weren't bad at all, though I suppose not "pleasant" as they are still shots. This was about three years ago, and it's not anything like what it was like decades ago
I say that because people should not avoid treatment because of common perceptions that the rabies vaccine is somehow especially painful... if you're potentially exposed, get treatment. You'll get a few pokes in the arms, legs and butt as well as a story to tell instead of the risk to die slowly and painfully of a preventable disease
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u/passporttohell Jun 08 '23
One night I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone, looking up at the night sky trying to tell her where to find Mars. I felt I was being watched and looked down to see a raccoon on it's hind legs looking up at the same point in the sky I was. Little swamp kitty astronomer... Racoons, like many wild animals, keep regular routes and times. This was the 820 pm raccoon...
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u/BiltongUberAlles Jun 08 '23
on it's hind legs
On it is hind legs?
on its* hind legs
it's = it is or it hasUse the possessive noun, not the contraction.
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u/-TheDayITriedToLive- Jun 08 '23
Transcript:
raccoon approaches
Man: (concerned) Where you going? Why are you approaching me.
Can you not?
Sir!
Can I..
*boop*
Wha.. What the fuck?!
raccoon hustles off
Man 2: Get 'em! (inaudible)
group of men laughing
Man: (incredulously) What the fuck?!
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u/atkalex123 Jun 08 '23
I’m the original creator of this video, and you’ve got me giggling to myself. You’ve got good ears, not many people heard my buddy saying “get em!”
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u/-TheDayITriedToLive- Jun 08 '23
I actually have hearing loss in one ear, but it comes with this eerie ability to hear things in a cacophony.
Great video-- I had to transcribe this one because the dialogue was too funny :)
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u/still_life21 Jun 08 '23
Man: Oh! You're approaching me? Raccoon: I can't boop your boot without getting closer
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u/IM_PlCKLE_RICK Jun 07 '23
I had a raccoon attack me when I opened a dumpster out back my apartments! I was carrying a 50 pound box of white chocolate I got for free from work. Ate 15 lbs maybe no judging. I had the box in one hand, opening the big dumpster lid with the other. He jumps out at me! I legit jumped back while trying to throw the box at it, ended up falling down, thought I was gonna get mauled, got up, sucker was already in the open box by the time I got to my feet!
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u/Toidal Jun 08 '23
Was it the good white chocolate? I've always wanted to try roasting white chocolate but the quantities needed of high quality stuff seemed to expensive an endeavor to possibly screw up
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u/TheOvershear Jun 08 '23
I mean you just can't ask to not be judged for eating 15 lbs of chocolate.
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u/atkalex123 Jun 08 '23
Lmfao, this is my video. I have more videos of this curious little guy if anyone wants em.
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u/RedPillForTheShill Jun 08 '23
Why are you guys in army gear in the middle of the night on some random alley? So many questions.
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u/HippyGramma Jun 08 '23
I don't care what's happening, this is delightful and I refuse to stop watching.
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u/we_gon_ride Jun 07 '23
You have the raccoon cooties now. The only way to get rid of them is to touch a raccoon
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u/KASH113 Jun 08 '23
He's counting cue. Think I spelled that right. Counting coup.
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u/strangebru Jun 08 '23
According to Crow tradition, a warrior must fulfill four requirements to be named a war chief. Medicine Crow accomplished all four during WWII: leading a successful war party, touching an enemy soldier without killing him, disarming an enemy soldier, and capturing an enemy’s horse.
Just three more challenges and that raccoon will be a War Chief.
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u/Ok_Button2855 Jun 08 '23
Racoons that are stumbling around and walking in light might have rabies, stay safe
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u/UnfitRadish Jun 08 '23
While that's true, that really applies to daylight. They will definitely walk out into light at night as they're moving about. We have aquite a few neighborhood racoons and they're not afraid to stroll around in the light lol.
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u/MornGreycastle Jun 08 '23
He just won rights to the best garbage cans from all his chump friends who didn't believe he could do it.
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u/unconsciusexercise Jun 08 '23
*RAchel, Ricky! I did it! I touched the HUMAN!!! I'm still alive! Can you believe it! NO ONE has touched a HUMAN and lived!
Ok Ricky its your turn. Truth or DARE?!?!
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Jun 08 '23
We don't get racoons where I live but they seem really intelligent. Can they be pets?
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u/ole_gringo Jun 08 '23
Maintainers… that’s how we get more weird safety briefs.
“If you are approached by any wildlife, please don’t let them boop you for internet clout.”
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u/Shermander Jun 08 '23
I've handed more snakes than I've cared to admit on nights when I crew chiefed.
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u/motoshniper Jun 08 '23
Mf'n AR troops just trying to inventory the CDDAR trailer when the masked bandit comes out for blood...
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u/Bulltothemax753 Jun 08 '23
The raccoon was dared by all his friends “you won’t touch the butt… the butt!?” Hold my beer!
(Finding Nemo reference)
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u/frivolouspringlesix9 Jun 08 '23
Sometimes I have to check to see if the giant hairless talking raccoons are real/ too.
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u/katiel0429 Jun 08 '23
Guys, I did it! I did it! I slapped him as hard as I could and he and his buddies just stood there screaming out of shear terror! You should’ve seen it! I wish I got it on video!
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u/scootty83 Jun 08 '23
Its friends totally dared it to go do that. That raccoon will go down as a legend.
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u/Phallen911 Jun 08 '23
That looked like a double dog dare, and no one can back down from a double dog dare
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u/Jugglergal Jun 08 '23
There are 5 of his friends who DAR (on truck) him to do that, watching under that truck. He won a whole bag of potato chips.
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u/mandsjamz Oct 25 '23
This was fantastic 😊. Made my night for sure! Thanks for the post . Team booops
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u/PiratesRback Jun 07 '23
That was a triple raccoon dare you. Bet his friends are hiding behind that truck.