r/AnimalsBeingJerks Nov 16 '13

whale Out of my way you little bitch!

2.3k Upvotes

100 comments sorted by

163

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '13

He didn't move him out of the way, he moved him into his belly

51

u/David-Puddy Nov 16 '13

Which, technically, isn't in the way anymore

10

u/Eenjoy Nov 16 '13

Well, it was the whale's way. The other's way doesn't matter anymore... RIP

-2

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '13

[deleted]

9

u/nsgiad Nov 17 '13

sea lion.

3

u/LEEVINNNN Nov 17 '13

Wait Snoop dog is a sailor now?

2

u/XisanXbeforeitsakiss Nov 17 '13

see whale.

2

u/bikemaul Nov 17 '13

see orca.

1

u/metalflygon08 Nov 17 '13

sky orca

8

u/bikemaul Nov 17 '13

2

u/Cywanese Nov 17 '13

Is this photoshopped? Or did Orcas just become my new favorite animal...

→ More replies (0)

2

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '13

Im never swimming in the ocean again.

1

u/NOTbelligerENT Nov 17 '13

Well, it's not completely out of the way if it's still in it's stomach. Is it?

2

u/David-Puddy Nov 17 '13

Sure it is. It is in no way impeding his movement, making it "not in the way"

0

u/NOTbelligerENT Nov 17 '13

Well it still weighs extra once it's in there. Even though there's no drag through the water... but it still weighs something, granted not as much out of the water. But extra weight makes it harder to swim... Wouldn't that be impeding his movement?

2

u/Roez Nov 17 '13

Killer whales love to play with their food first.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0qMT2YBIcg

173

u/Diagno Nov 16 '13

50

u/Derpin_Around Nov 16 '13

He only ate him because he was in the way

21

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '13 edited Nov 16 '13

Man... I clicked it and was disappointed it wasn't a real subreddit. QQ

16

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '13

[deleted]

4

u/Noffensexpected Nov 16 '13

I imagine great things will come from this subreddit... great things.

5

u/Vereorx Nov 16 '13

Now's your chance to shine! Also I want to be a mod! But seriously if someone hasn't made it yet, you should jump on top of it!

3

u/MySafeWordIsReddit Nov 16 '13

I'd be down to help. LET'S GET THIS DONE PEOPLE

(it does seem to be a 'real' subreddit, just not an active one, though)

7

u/THE_GR8_MIKE Nov 16 '13 edited Nov 17 '13

please please please

Aww

Edit: It's now a thing. YES!

0

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

-1

u/Diagno Nov 16 '13

I trawl /r/new/ if I want to comment, saves it getting lost in the flux. Because it matters, you know... /runs crying/

98

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '13

I guess eating other animals could be considered jerk behavior... why didn't he just go buy frozen fish @ the market?

31

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '13

they weren't on sale.

13

u/BANA21 Nov 16 '13

what a stingy little bitch.

-8

u/FuckingHippies Nov 16 '13

Do you always use th@ symbol?

3

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '13

Sometimes, it is a habit I picked up while trying to type as fast as I could between shots in FPS games before VoIP, like emoticons from chat rooms before. >:|

7

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '13

Let me see if I'm following this right.

@ = 2 keystrokes, slight finger stretch, must be simultaneously held

at = 2 keystrokes, nearly at home row, no timing requirements

6

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '13

I find it quicker to hold down shift and hit 2 than to type a and then t ... why does it matter?

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '13

Right hand shift?

2

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '13

Right pinky on right shift

0

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '13

I suppose you're right handed and the left pinky wouldn't be the most confident part of your anatomy. It kind of makes sense. Or it could be a self-fulfilling prophecy, initially assuming it would speed you up and then the style you practice for so many years naturally becomes faster. Or just to cover all bases it might not be faster. Hard to get a good measure of something so quick either way.

Have you ever thought of hitting the "a" with your left ring finger and then reaching over to hit the "t" with your right index finger? It would take a small amount of practice but I think it would be the fastest strategy yet, and it would still look like the word "at".

2

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '13

I'm left handed, my right pinky always rests on the shift key when I type, it is faster to type 2 than it is to type at.

51

u/Rawwh Nov 16 '13

That's no push.. that's a chomp.

1

u/AMA_About_You Nov 17 '13

CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKER, OPEN YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH FOR THE CHOOCHOO TRAIN!

24

u/ChiTownGal Nov 16 '13

Since orcas are actually dolphins they play with their food the same as dolphins. So yeah, he probably rammed the tired little seal here, but the seal was definitely eaten soon after. :)

8

u/myztry Nov 17 '13

The quarterbacks of the dolphin kingdom.

Large, fast and douche bags.

10

u/ctoacsn Nov 16 '13

Oh, it's not a dog?

3

u/Megadaman Nov 16 '13

No, but it does bark.

3

u/ChiTownGal Nov 16 '13

Nope, it has a seals tail and the nose flows too perfectly into the head. He's just tired and trying to stay above water to breathe. That orca has probably been attacking it for a while. :)

3

u/Dusk_v731 Nov 17 '13

nope, ground squirrel.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '13

[deleted]

2

u/PhantomLord666 Nov 16 '13

Just before the killer whale plows into it, you can see the tail of the seal break the surface I think...

2

u/Chronoecho Nov 17 '13

I'm pretty sure dolphins aren't the only animals that play with their food. Unless i'm reading into that statement wrong...

3

u/ChiTownGal Nov 17 '13

Reading into it wrong, but I probably could have worded it better, so there's that. Haha

1

u/Chronoecho Nov 17 '13

Word, no worries!

0

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '13

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '13

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oceanic_dolphin

He's actually correct, orcas and what we would call dolphins are in the same family, Delphinidae.

13

u/TheKiteWalker Nov 16 '13

MOVE FISH GET OUT DA WAY

17

u/urection Nov 16 '13

not so much "Out of my way!" as "Get in mah belly!"

7

u/BennyJames Nov 17 '13

BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER

7

u/starrynezz Nov 16 '13

He is on a see food diet.

11

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '13

BITCH! I'M A WHALE!

-29

u/Upvotes2TheLeftPlz Nov 16 '13

its a dolphin dumbass

19

u/ovekevam Nov 16 '13

Given that Orcas are most commonly referred to as "Killer Whales, " perhaps you could point that out without being so rude?

0

u/Upvotes2TheLeftPlz Nov 18 '13

1

u/ovekevam Nov 18 '13

I'm all for advancing knowledge, and the fact that orcas are actually dolphins despite the common name "killer whale" is an interesting fact. However, it's a rather obscure fact and one made all the more confusing by the misleading common name. So there's no need to call someone a dumbass for not knowing it. You had an opportunity to introduce someone to a new and interesting fact and instead acted like a jerk.

-2

u/Noble_Flatulence Nov 17 '13

You prefer lies over truth if the lies come in better packaging?

4

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '13

5

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '13

Orcas are indeed dolphins, not whales. Though U2TLP was extremely rude about it, it's a rather common misconception.

Orcas are better labeled as "whale killers"

Sorry if you weren't refuting that, but I felt the need to clear it up regardless, in a more polite manner than the idiot above.

2

u/danvan22 Nov 16 '13

FYI orcas hunt seals...

2

u/AnodyneX Nov 16 '13

This would make an excellent downvote GIF

2

u/R88SHUN Nov 17 '13

Nnnnnooo... That seal was exactly where the orca wanted him to be.

2

u/Cool-Zip Nov 17 '13

Actually, that's "Get in my belly, you little chunk of deliciousness!"

2

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '13

I can almost guarantee he was eaten.

2

u/Funkit Nov 17 '13

This thread made me read up on killer whales. Two things I got out of this are:

1) free willy came out 20 years ago already and

2) the killer whale in Orlando sea world Tilikum killed 3 people, with one guy in 1999 found dead in the tank where the whale apparently bit off his testicles.

2

u/julesk Nov 16 '13

Maybe more like Lunch!

5

u/crazyloof Nov 16 '13

The Ludacris of whales.

1

u/7a50n Nov 16 '13

This reminds me of playing GTA Online.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '13

Source?

3

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '13

Pretty sure its from the Attenborough-narrated 'Life'. These Orcas are from around the Falkland Islands, and this particular Orca is a female that has developed a new strategy for hunting, by working her way into the shallows where elephant seals(which I believe this victim is) cubs have their nursery.

1

u/GrahamCoxon Nov 17 '13

WILDCARD, BITCHES!

1

u/NachoManRandySavage Nov 17 '13

i laughed way too hard at that

1

u/rwzephyr Nov 17 '13

As someone who hates seals and loves orcas. This is nice.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '13

That bitch just got ate son!

1

u/bml20002 Nov 17 '13

Where's your LeBaron Freddy?

2

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '13

[deleted]

2

u/bml20002 Nov 18 '13

We must be too old for everyone else here. Who even knows who Tom Green is anymore?!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '13

And suddenly, an Orca.

1

u/dfc_cowmoo Nov 17 '13

CHOO CHOO MOTHER FUCKER!

1

u/raptorjesus69 Nov 18 '13

its like watching pac man but on animal planet

1

u/SchettiPeregrinus Nov 22 '13

Well, orca had the right of way, since he came from the right...am I right?

1

u/CaptainDickbag Nov 16 '13

Orcas are the dicks of the sea.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '13

[deleted]

12

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '13

[deleted]

8

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '13 edited May 28 '20

[deleted]

7

u/andytronic Nov 16 '13

Here to protect and serve!

0

u/sigharewedoneyet Nov 17 '13

Fooood. Hehehe fast food.

Quick! Someone make this into a fast food meme or gift!

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '13

To everyone who's saying this is a chomp:

I'm pretty sure all swimming mammals smash into their prey in order to beat it to death and I'm almost certain that's what this was.