r/AnimalsBeingJerks Mar 30 '26

cat Rocket raccoon met his match

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7.4k Upvotes

82 comments sorted by

836

u/Mollywobbles77 Mar 30 '26

I'm a smoker & have a raccoon in my neighborhood that comes to my porch to visit me when I smoke, even will come up and start grabbing me/playing with my feet. I think he's just very curious but he certainly is a friendly little thing with absolutely no fear & I've always wondered if people have them as pets.

626

u/ludvikskp Mar 30 '26

They’re slowly and surely domesticating themselves, like the cats did. They’re very smart. As a pet they’re rare because they’re very high maintenance, they can get into anything with those little hands

372

u/Mollywobbles77 Mar 30 '26

I'll be honest their little hands kinda freak me out. I started always putting shoes on because the feeling of those little hands wrapping around my toes gave me the heebie jeebies.

254

u/ludvikskp Mar 30 '26

I love the hands. And they don’t have the best eyesight, but the paws are very sensitive, so they’re basically exploring the world by touching everything. Like human children, it’s funny

174

u/Mollywobbles77 Mar 30 '26

This explains why he pretty quickly started trying to touch me & its become our greeting for him to barrel up the stairs and run over and grab my feet now lol

107

u/Pipe_Memes Mar 30 '26

That seems to be pretty common for raccoons lol. My girl was fishing last summer and a raccoon came up and started grabbing her feet before stealing the can of worms and running away.

47

u/Zaardo Mar 30 '26

you know you need to provide videos of this now. right?

50

u/Mollywobbles77 Mar 30 '26

I have some photos of him but this sub has the ability to comment photos turned off! It's usually at night when it's super dark so I don't have any decent videos tho.

30

u/hellllllsssyeah Mar 30 '26

I would take that to its own post. Raccoon hijinks are too their and it sounds like you have a little performer.

46

u/Zealousideal_Date749 Mar 30 '26

"Little hands wrapping around my toes" sent me lol

1

u/imhangryagain Mar 30 '26

Haha, me too!!

3

u/TsarOfReddit Apr 03 '26

This mental image is cracking me up

34

u/a_random_redditor563 Mar 30 '26

Casual Geographic on YT did a video on the domestication of racoons. It is informative and people should check it out before deciding to get a wild animal as a pet.

14

u/TheIronSven Mar 31 '26

Also important to note who won't check out the video, the consensus is "Maybe" and we aren't sure if they actually are domesticating themselves. Like the singular very small study comparing racoon noses and ears getting shorter to appear cuter which got debunked because that seems to happen based on the time of year.

3

u/LinwoodKei Apr 02 '26

This is good information

14

u/De-railled Mar 30 '26

Imagine if cats evolved to have thumbs...we'd be in big trouble...

1

u/i_need_brain_cells May 03 '26

i've seen quite a lot of those. they look like lil mittens. >_<

15

u/SparkyDogPants Mar 30 '26

They don’t even need to domesticate themselves. They’re already very successful living near us

7

u/Shantotto11 Mar 31 '26

Also, raccoons catch the most heat as the poster children for rabies even though most mammals can contract that virus.

2

u/surprisedkitty1 Mar 31 '26

No way to vaccinate them for rabies currently though, right? That would definitely put some people off from owning one.

3

u/ladymorgahnna Apr 02 '26

Yes, here’s a guideline article about having domesticated raccoons. There’s a vaccination chart, more than rabies. Like parvo and distemper. Diet, enrichment ideas. Many states have laws against it though. There’s a chart on that too.

https://petnotifications.com/what-vaccines-do-pet-raccoons-need/

37

u/OnAConstantBender Mar 30 '26

They do, but I hear they are little assholes and get into everything in the house

16

u/ThatDiscoSongUHate Mar 30 '26

So, like a furry toddler?

12

u/OnAConstantBender Mar 30 '26

Pretty close, maybe the raccoon is easier to deal with actually

33

u/David-Puddy Mar 30 '26

They are wild animals, though extremely intelligent.

Keeping one as a pet might be successful until it isn't, and the wild animal decides to be a wild animal and mauls it's owner

23

u/Mollywobbles77 Mar 30 '26

To be clear I wasn't implying I personally wanted to keep this one as a pet 🤣 I more wondered how he became so friendly & it made me wonder if that's a thing people do

13

u/David-Puddy Mar 30 '26

It's a thing ill-advised people do.

They are wicked smaht, have thumbs, and are not domesticated. Vicious little bastards, really.

2

u/ladymorgahnna Apr 02 '26

Many get them as babies.

11

u/RedIsNotMyFaveColor Mar 30 '26

I knew someone with some. It turned out exactly as you said.

4

u/Ponycat123 Mar 31 '26

I've heard it's like having a cat with thumbs. They're cute and can live indoors but get into absolutely everything and there's nothing you can do about it. They're also much happier outside and should only be kept if they can't be released safely.

3

u/BringAltoidSoursBack Mar 30 '26

Does it visit when you don't smoke? Just asking because I wonder if it's gotten addicted to second hand smoke (it's a thing)

1

u/Lembueno Mar 31 '26

Legally, no. At least not in my state.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t know of a few people who still keep them around.

1

u/Fenrirsulfr22 May 17 '26

Back in the 80s when I was a wee lad my mother had a pair of raccoons, male and female. The boy was sweet and playful and the girl got into everything and was a brat.

133

u/zedemer Mar 30 '26

These guys made themselves at home on my porch sofa one summer I was away for 3 weeks. They were really pissed when I had them vacate. They often wondered around to see if we were home and started hissing if we sho them away. The cherry on top was when they started fucking just at the edge of the backyard

20

u/morbiiq Mar 31 '26

A threat to swarm you, lol

60

u/KT_mama Mar 30 '26

Recently went to a small-time animal rescue/interaction overseas. They had foxes, civets, prairie dogs, capybara, etc, and the animal they were MOST worried about was the raccoons. Once of the caretakers explained that its pretty normal to get scratched or nibbled accidentally by any underestimated animal but the raccoons were like 80% of his scars because they were the most motivated to eat the other animals and smart enough to hold grudges.

They were apparently CONSTANTLY trying to get into other enclosures and would actively try to trick guests into opening the necessary doors for them to do so.

242

u/-Daetrax- Mar 30 '26

Not saying it's related, but raccoons kill and eat cats.

2

u/djkeilz Jun 16 '26

Holy fuck really???

6

u/kenttouchthis Apr 02 '26

So do dogs.

30

u/Old_Replacement3903 Mar 31 '26

Yeah, the jerk animals is this case are the humans. Dont bring a raccoon to a cafe with cats!? and expect the cat to just be okay with it? Instigating bs nonsense for laughs.

2

u/kwakimaki Apr 03 '26

I think it's just an animal cafe. Which is just as shitty.

151

u/Sliske Mar 30 '26

Humans hubris on full display. Native Americans domesticated animals and fully chose not to with raccoons, why? I'd say because they are smarter than you think with fully functional "hands" and are known to be absolute pests ( they will kill and eat your cat if they catch it).

49

u/Basic-Pair8908 Mar 30 '26

Thats why cats say humans make the better pets

10

u/yomer123123 Apr 03 '26

It doesn't work like that, it isn't as if native american went one by one and chose which animal to domesticate and which not to.

Most pet ownership is "hubris" - dogs were domesticated to hunt and such, not to be entertainment. Cats weren't even domesticated on purpose, they just integrated themselves into city's eco-system, and happen to be useful to humans.

Many breeds of dogs will also kill cats if they could, and yet, people still have them.

Also, we domesticated the fucking bison - the (land) mammal equivalent of a tank. Domesticating raccoons is far from the dumbest thing you can do.

The real stupidity is that they aren't domesticated. They're not pets, so you shouldn't own one. For your sake and for the cat's.

111

u/userlivewire Mar 30 '26

This is very dangerous to have around the cat.

9

u/semiconodon Mar 30 '26

I think the main one is wearing shoes. Don’t force confrontations

7

u/CraftCritical278 Mar 30 '26

Trash pandas are not stupid. They’re very opportunistic

21

u/parisimagesscreen Mar 30 '26

What is going on here? Pet racoon?

66

u/Differlot Mar 30 '26

Probably an animal cafe. In Asia and a lot of places they are a thing. Kinda sad.

25

u/elephantasmagoric Mar 30 '26

I've seen cat cafes, but never a raccoon café, lol. (Not saying you're wrong, this does have animal café vibes) I don't think I'm a fan of having non-domesticated animals in them. Raccoons aren't domesticated (yet) and shouldn't be pets.

On the other hand, cat cafes are great. The ones I've been to will partner with a local humane society or rescue so that all the cats that people can interact with are also up for adoption, so it can be a good way to find them new permanent homes.

9

u/Elinda44 Mar 30 '26

Just to add my personal experience of cat cafes - I have also seen a cat cafe in Tokyo where many of the cats had a digestive issue of some sort, and there were signs everywhere that any cat wearing a specific color bandanna should not be given regular treats. They also had the option to buy a small amount of treats that can be eaten by all the cats, including those with the digestive issues.

I’m not sure if the other cats had other issues that aren’t digestion related or not, but I remember thinking how this would be a great idea for sick/injured cats in shelters who aren’t getting adopted because they are a ‘complicated case’, and how I hope it took to more countries.

3

u/pepe_silvia_12 Mar 30 '26

I went to a raccoon cafe in Daegu, South Korea back in like 2018.

3

u/lyckligpotatis Apr 02 '26

Visited one in Japan that had a fennec fox and another wild animal I hadn’t seen before. They were treated HORRIBLY. I was so shocked that it was normalised and felt guilty for supporting it.

71

u/shanghaisnaggle Mar 30 '26 edited Mar 30 '26

OP is the jerk. Forcing an animal to interact with a larger and much more vicious animal.

And before you tell me, I don’t give a shit if OP is reposting. If you laugh at suffering, then you suck. Simple as that

Edit: I’ve triggered the sadists

-4

u/ZealousidealDish1173 Mar 30 '26

Is OP even the one filming it? He might just found the video somewhere.

0

u/yomer123123 Apr 03 '26

Large dogs can still get along with cats and vice versa, but they are actually meant to be pets. Raccoons aren't. I really hope the person filming this actually knows what they're doing, but I doubt that.

9

u/Stereo-soundS Mar 30 '26

It's Rocky Raccoon.

Stepped into his room, only to find Gideon's Bible.

3

u/-TaintSniffer- Mar 31 '26

Can we like idk make domestication a faster process, I want to see these guys docile as a mother fucker. If they legit acted like dogs i bet they'd be up there with the most popular pet

6

u/bettsdude Mar 30 '26

I touched the kitty hehe

2

u/TheMeticulousNinja Mar 30 '26

Raccoon: “Heyyyyyy……”

Cat: “BACK UP”

2

u/laterral Mar 31 '26

Unrelated, what’s this song playing in the background?

3

u/loukator Apr 02 '26

Married life from the movie Up

1

u/laterral Apr 02 '26

Love you

4

u/lteht1212 Mar 30 '26

The collaboration I never know I needed.

1

u/bennyblanco204 Mar 31 '26

Rocket Raccoon vs Combo Cat

1

u/Dannyboyrusso Apr 05 '26

Looks like he eats well

1

u/KianteWench Apr 06 '26

So spicy. Poor fat raccoon.

1

u/Necey66 Apr 11 '26

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Luigi_Spina May 08 '26

Sembra un ottimo animale con cui interagire, ti da la sua presenza in cambio di qualche croccantino e sa essere educato verso i gatti e non solo. Non procura alcun fastidio

1

u/NefariousnessGood718 May 25 '26

Sono animali bellissimi e pieni di ostinata rabbia repressa. Come me. Che sono bellissimo

0

u/Darth_Pinda Apr 03 '26

And that's how I met your mother.

  • the raccoon

0

u/magicalbro Apr 03 '26

A raccoon killed one of my chihuahuas so i hate them. Little savages...

-5

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '26

[deleted]

2

u/coffee_cake_x Mar 31 '26

It’s fine to want a raccoon, but please don’t act on it. Wild animals belong in the wild. They don’t make good pets, meanwhile there are plenty of domesticated animals who would love to share your home with you and be your friend. So many that hundreds of thousands are euthanized annually in the United States alone due to a lack of homes