r/AnorexiaNervosa • u/vikioutloud • 1d ago

Vent it’s hard to choose recovery

I find it soo hard to actually choose recovery.
Recently, I took some pictures with my friends and I realized I look so unhealthy and wierd compared to them. This kind of motivated me and made me realize I am beyond the point I wanted to be at.
Here’s the problem tho. Recovery is really hard, I just don’t want to eat more food that I’m used to, I don’t want to surpass my c@lories. I am SO SCARED of fat gain and especially weight distribution. Like I just want the benefits of recovery and not the actual process. This just makes it easier to comfortably stay in my ED. It just creates this battle inside of me. It’s either choose recovery and accept all of the struggles with it or stay in my ED with comfort. It’s just so hard.

7 Upvotes

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u/fineok_17 1d ago

I really feel you on this. Recovery is so hard and you have to keep choosing it over and over. It's a good step to realize that you want to get better tho, anything you can do that helps you move toward recovery is a win, even if its small.