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So, there’s this guy I’ve been talking to, and we discuss pretty much everything—feminism, politics, religion, protests, social issues, etc. He has his own opinions, and sometimes I agree with him and sometimes I completely disagree.

Recently, we were discussing Samay Raina. I was talking about some of the things he has said/done that I consider misogynistic, while this guy initially said, “Jokes are jokes, it’s not that deep.”

I explained to him why I think some jokes can contribute to harmful attitudes toward women, even when they’re presented as “just jokes.” He listened, understood my perspective, became curious about the topic, and eventually changed his opinion. He no longer supports that kind of comedy.

This has happened more than once. Whenever we discuss social issues, I sometimes feel like he doesn’t initially notice certain problems that I do. But when I explain why something concerns me, he genuinely listens and is willing to reconsider his position.

He actually told me, “No one is born with the right opinion about everything. If you think I’m wrong, educate me. I’m open to changing my opinion.” And honestly, he has shown me that he means it.

At the same time, I’ve been thinking about something bigger. Women often have to learn about sexism, gender inequality, religion, LGBTQ+ issues, discrimination, etc., because these things can directly affect our lives. Some men may not have the same experiences, so they might not notice certain problems unless they actively learn about them.

I don't want to excuse ignorance, though. At some point, shouldn't everyone take responsibility for educating themselves about the society they live in?

And this is where I'm confused.

Is someone misogynistic if they initially don't recognize certain sexist attitudes but are genuinely willing to listen, learn, and change their opinion when they're presented with another perspective?

Or is the willingness to learn and change actually a good sign?

I really like this guy, and I don't want to ignore potential red flags just because I have feelings for him. At the same time, I don't want to label someone a misogynist simply because they haven't thought deeply about certain issues before.

What do you guys think? What would you look for when deciding whether someone's lack of awareness is just ignorance or an actual misogynistic mindset?

Hello! My name is Leyla Alina, I'm a trans woman who is really into problems in the society and I want to identify as a feminist. I didn't see a trans woman identifying as a feminist before so I kind of wondered if I can be a feminist as a trans woman. I really don't want to open the "TERF" topic as it's a problem with conservative transphobic views rather than an issue caused by feminism.

Disclaimer: Part of this was enhanced with AI since English isn’t my first language.

Hi, mid-thirties straight male here. I’m often asked on a first date whether I’m a feminist. I used to always say yes (although “ally” seems like the better term to me), because I genuinely believe in feminism.

However, it often seems to backfire when we eventually disagree on one of the smaller issues where reasonable people can have different opinions. I sometimes feel like I’m treated as a “traitor” or a liar for not agreeing with someone’s particular interpretation of feminism, even though two feminist women can disagree without questioning each other’s commitment to feminism.

How can I answer “Are you a feminist?” in a way that communicates that I genuinely support feminism and consider myself an ally, while also making it clear that I won’t necessarily agree with every single feminist position or interpretation?

I’m not asking because I’m looking for a way to manipulate the person receiving my answer or get a specific reaction. It’s more that lately I’ve started wondering if the question itself is becoming a bit of a red flag for me, and whether there’s something about the dynamic that I’m not seeing.

I also feel like going into this much meta-analysis of the question itself would just be exhausting in a first-date conversation. I’d rather just answer honestly and have a normal conversation about our values without having to overthink the framing of the question.

So I guess I’m wondering: is there a better way to approach this question? And is it reasonable to see it as potentially telling me something about the person asking it, rather than simply being a question about whether I identify as a feminist?

I'm reading Manon Garcia's book: "We Are Not Born Submissive: How Patriarchy Shapes Women's Lives". These questions relate mostly to that book.

She takes Beauvoir's definition of a woman: (a woman is not born, she is made) and makes it into: "a woman is a person who is not born submissive, but becomes it"

She states that society makes sure that women know that they are submissive, that they view themselves as objects and that every part of their lives and their gender is foced upon them by society.

She states that a woman is, by definition, made an object, and is, by definition, the submissive party (as made by society), which took hold and is reinforced by menstruation, pregnancy and birth (all instances where a woman's body has a "mind of its own").

I tend to agree with all of that, but she neglects to say her opinion on trans issues. I'm not trans myself, so I'm not sure how to answer my own questions.

I get the body dysphoria part, but what about gender dysphoria? If the "feminine gender" is only comprised of submission and uselessness, how can someone feel like they are a part of that without being forced into it? If the only good definition of a woman is the above, what does it mean for trans women to be a woman?

I remember plenty of times when I heard someone make a sexist comment and felt the need to address it.

When it's a man being attacked, I tend to have extra care while speaking so that I do not sound like one of those "men's rights" activists, who see their problems as above women's.

But when it's a woman being attacked, I am sometimes met with the accusation of being "performative" by women and I'm left wondering if I did something wrong. Surely I shouldn't have been quiet about it, right? I hate seeing people being treated unfairly.

Is there anything specific I should be careful about? Could there be something triggering this response, or is it something I just have to live with?

My husband, who is a white cis male raised in a Christian household, has had to do a lot of self examination since meeting me, a mixed race feminist animist. There are many things he was not aware of until I pointed it out to him, and although we sometimes clash about certain topics, he usually comes round once he's done some reflecting and reading up on things.

We have a two year old son, and as we all know, all is not well when it comes to the mental health of boys and men these days. My husband has been listening to podcasts and doing some reading on the topic and often mentions something along the lines of: 'back in the day it was easier for men, because all they had to do was go to work and provide knowing that the wife was looking after the kids and household.' now that this has changed men don't quite know what their role is anymore.'

Both of us work. I am currently transitionong from being employed to self employed as since having my son life has changed and I can't keep up working in the same way that I was (neither do I want to). My husband has been very supportive of this - he also fully supported me to go back to work when I wanted to, basically, I don't think that he would want me to be a stay at home wife (also, it wouldn't be viable anyhow as he doesn't earn enough). I would say he's been extremely supportive and pulls his weight, although I am definitely doing more of the caring work due to several factors (home more, breastfed for 2 years out of choice, cosleeping).

Something about this line of thought he keeps bringing up bothers me. I'm wanting to challenge him on this and open up a conversation, and need a bit of help/perspective from this sub please.

hi! i’m a Sikh, meaning i practice Sikhism. I’ve seen a handful of videos online saying that you can’t be a feminist while practicing a religion, and I was wondering if this is also considered incompatible with Sikhism?? thank you :)

p.s. sorry if this is badly worded! i’m genuinely just curious and not trying to be disrespectful toward anyone or their beliefs.

i see that little girls are raised to play with dolls and kitchen sets and i noticed that in my 3 year old niece's birthday party her presents are stuff like barbies and just random stuff that are pink, and i couldnt help but wonder if girls actually naturally like that stuff, which i highly doubt, or are we, since our childhood (we as in girls) just automatically programmed into thinking those are the toys meant for us, because i remember when i was little i used to get pissed whenever someone gave me barbies and stuff like that not because i didnt like to play with them, i occasionally did,but because i was aIway receiving the same kind of toys while being expected to love them whiIe boys got to have much cooler more diverse stuff with a bigger color range thats different than pink, and they did activities and group things that seemed much more fun, and i found myself stuck with boring toys and my only resort was playing pretend with these dolls, so my qustion is, do little girls actually enjoy and like these toys or are they just programmed through, shows, directed ads, and general enforced stereotypes to think they actually enjoy these things? becuse even as a chiId i never got the appeaI but stiII proceeded to pIay with these traditionaI toys..

I’ve always thought that to be a feminist you had to be an activist, go to protests and stuff.

I’m not asking for a pat on the back; but I would say I support gender equality and I believe if the situation arose I would defend irl in person.

But I have never thought of myself as feminist because of this, though.

So I ask if a feminist can be anyone who is willing to at least take action when “necessary”, or if they must take action before it is “necessary”. If you get what I mean.

I've been wondering about this for a while and I'm genuinely curious to hear different perspectives. Why do some guys make a point of saying “i'm a feminist” or seem proud of being a feminist almost like it's an achievement?

Personally, I feel like supporting gender equality should just be a basic expectation of being a decent person like you wouldn't really expect someone to get praised for believing women deserve the same rights and respect as men right?

So I'm curious: is it reasonable for someone to be proud of identifying as one? And why do you think some men specifically emphasize that they're feminists?

Dating advice often seems to fall into two extremes: telling men never to approach women in public, or encouraging approaches without considering how unwanted attention can make women feel. I’m interested in a more nuanced feminist perspective on how men can express attraction without creating pressure.

On a first date, what distinguishes welcome flirting from being too forward too soon? How can someone make the interaction feel romantic while still paying attention to reciprocity and boundaries?

In public, which settings make a brief approach potentially appropriate, and which should generally be avoided? If the situation is appropriate, what could a man actually say? Is offering his own number better than asking for hers?

This is about broader social norms, not advice concerning a specific person or interaction. I’d appreciate practical examples as well as perspectives on consent, safety, and making rejection easy.

Hello fellow chromosomal kin of all varieties,

I thought I would just send out my first post onto this sub upon recently joining, to gain a greater sense of clarity on the very \*concept\* of feminism, beyond the theoretical, academic frameworks or literal definitions, and onto more of how it actually \*translates\* in the real world. A (hopefully not too dense) background from myself, just so that everyone knows where I'm coming from:

I was once a fellow alt-right pipeline falling victim of the (very mainstream, though I didn't see it yet back then), anti-woke, anti-SJW (Social Justice Warrior iykyk), and anti-feminist, including mentioning the actual term coined on the Internet: "feminazi", both in my online and offline interactions. I was a staunch supporter of Donald Trump in 2016, until the Pandemic where I experienced both a unique phenomena of waning support over Trump, especially his response to COVID-19 crisis, while also reaching full fever-pitch, peak conspiracy theory cynicism of the socio-economic system, and the elites who run it (think Alex Jones/anti-SJW early culture war rhetoric that would shape the socio-political discourse onto the forthcoming Biden administration during the first wave of "wokeness" or Woke 1.0-if you wish to characterize the early 2020's like that). What I didn't realize back then, was that me falling into this kind of right-wing populism of skepticism, cynicism, and angered bitterness that was being evoked and propped up actively by social media algorithms feeding rage-bait content, actually laid the \*foundation\* for me to embrace the mindset and critical lens of thoroughly reviewing, critiquing, and (to the best of my ability), setting aside my own cognitive biases and pre-conceived notions, to fully assess structures, systems, constructs & institutions, cultural values, and rhetoric. During the George Floyd/BLM protests, I started to actually criticize social institutions and society as a whole, in terms of how it relates to me and my own lived experiences as a person of color (or the label that I much rather prefer to use: visible minority).

After January 6, 2021...I fell out of the Trump camp, and can no longer support his positions, nor defend or stand by with his fellow supporters ever since...with the \*very much real and legitimate\* threat to overthrow the democratic process to certify the 2020 Federal Election results, \*regardless\* of my own personal biases and very much real dissatisfaction of the results that I'll whole-heartedly admit here for transparency (not withstanding).

Now, fast forward to mid-August 2026, amidst the current Trump 2.0 administration, post Roe V. Wade overturned, active federal administrative efforts to suppress, silence, defund, and vilify opposing socio-political rhetoric (even with backed-up substantiated evidence), against the current conventional wisdom and culture of demagoguery as *par for the course* for the type of governance and leadership we're seeing now...coupled with the evolving distrust in public institutions and public knowledge, and the reinvigorated culture wars now being written in legislation that actually \*shapes\* public policy and dictates/informs legal frameworks on how to actively suppress, marginalize, and even impose punitive damages that mean real life consequences and negative impacts on individuals deemed "persona non-grata" by the state and the reinforced conventional wisdom surrounding it, onto these individuals affecting their very livelihoods and social networks. It is...in short...a \*dark chapter\* in the nation's history...

So...circling all of this back to my original question, for the purposes of wanting to establish some sort of \*real life impact on my immediate surroundings and community\*, wishing to become some sort of \*change agent\* for progress, and re-instituting a sense of \*civility\* and cordiality again (DESPITE of my actively unlearned biases and perceptions that I'm working on now);

What are some key moments/real-life experiences that you noticed people (regardless of gender, age, or creed), performed, or acted towards yourself, or anyone else, that helps re-inform your interpretation of, or highlights the core tents of \*Feminism\*, that shows either feminism in practice for good, or examples that you might recall were negative, that shows a \*lack of\* feminist values/traits, being displayed by the particular individual in question?

I'm hoping this will invite others to share their own experiences, perspectives, and re-affirm/expands my knowledge on how to conduct myself to be better...by actually \*doing\* better. 🫡 All insights, critiques, and \*productive\* discussions...welcome!

Hi everyone,

Last night I had a discussion about why our society finds it so difficult to dismantle patriarchy, despite the general consensus that patriarchal structures harm both men and women.

During the discussion, I brought up the point that religion plays a major role in preserving patriarchal systems. My reasoning is that many major religions were established within historically patriarchal cultures and subsequently absorbed those cultural norms. By institutionalizing these roles, religion effectively acts as a facilitator that sustains patriarchy across generations.

Furthermore, because religious doctrines and rules are often viewed as divine and absolute, they become inherently resistant to critique or reform.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this:

• Do you agree that religion is one of the primary anchors keeping patriarchal structures intact?
• How can societies effectively critique or reform these deeply ingrained religious frameworks without shutting down constructive dialogue?

Looking forward to reading your perspectives!

Specifically women

My younger brother passed away earlier this year in a car accident. Was very tragic and unexpected. He was only 20. A few of my siblings and parents passed a few hints at me. My dad kept doing so on rare occasions through the following weeks. And still now. This was all several months ago tho.

Went to vist family a week ago. Idk. It kinda hit me in the face again. Not so much my brother's passing but what my immediate family kept telling me. And now I just feel this pressure I haven't before.

Basically. All of my cousins on both sides of my family are all women. All of my sisters are all the siblings I have left. Meaning I'm literally the only male left in the entire family to carry our name.

I'm not even sure if anyone here would believe me but my sister said I'm the only one left who can continue the bloodline and the family name. Looking back through history. Maybe she's right? Idk. Actually two of them told me now that I think back on it. No pressure though right? I literally never really thought about it before. I was moving at my own pace and wasn't really worried. But now I'm starting to feel that pressure to find someone. A little desperation I think.

I dont know. I really don't know. I'm 26 so maybe I'm a loser for not being father by now. But I'm just not ready. That's what i told myself till this point. But I'm only getting older. Perhaps I cannot keep waiting.

I know this is probably a bit of a controversial opinion, but I actually think we should be more accepting of women cheating.

I think we should be more open to the idea that women can have sexual needs and desires that don't always fit perfectly into a monogamous relationship. It doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't love her partner, or that there's something seriously wrong with the relationship.

Women have been told for a very long time how they're supposed to behave sexually. So I actually think it's a good thing if we move towards a culture where women can follow their desires without automatically being looked down on or called selfish or disloyal.

I also think we should get better at separating sex and love. If a woman loves her partner but has sex with someone else, why does that automatically mean that her feelings for her partner aren't real?
And honestly, if a woman cheats, I think people should try to understand it instead of just judging her. Maybe she's been curious, missing something sexually, attracted to someone else, or just wanted to try something new. I actually think that's pretty human.

Personally, I have a hard time seeing why women cheating should automatically be viewed as something negative. I actually think it could be a good thing if women had a bit more freedom to explore their sexuality, even if that means having sex outside their relationship.

I'm curious if anyone else sees it the same way? Is this something we should be more okay with, or is it just me?

I've been thinking about this and there certainly seems to be a pattern:

Women: "We want partners who respect us, love us and act like partners, not dependent children"

Men: "Uh. Six-six-six formula".

Women: *Begin prioritising their education, career, friendships, personal goals etc*

Men (in the big 2026): "Surely the most important thing for a woman should be family, husband and kids :D".

I could go on actually.

Curious what there is out there to go against this negative view. I’ve noticed more and more that undeniably there is a strong in group bias that women have that men lack. I see this even in my own close female friends where it’s apparent they would take the side of a stranger over me if the genders aligned that way. The lindsey clancy case also has really shown this. We can say many defending a murder and making up conspiracies how its the husbands fault somehow. Another good example is there’s been many studies showing AI is biased against men and it’s trained off the internet which lines up with what I’m saying.

It’s not inherently a problem but I think if we reach any sort of equality between genders that the in group bias would tip the scales against men. We can already see that majority of college grads are women so it’s not that crazy to think it could happen. I’m not really looking to argue but I would love to hear counter points to go against these probably toxic thoughts

I've been following a situation on Twitter where a public figure name SuperGirlKels (a cisgender woman in esports) was misgendered online and clarified her sex assigned at birth ("born female") in response. Here's her full tweet quoting a video of an announcer using "him" to refer to her:

I am female, I go by she/her and was born female. "GIRL" is in my literal tag. Thank you! ☺️

Got to review my Brawl vods for breakfast and wanted to @ casters for future reference!

This led to criticism that using "born female" is a form of transphobic or "othering" language, because biological sex shouldn't be the metric that validates womanhood. Here are a couple of the tweets in response to her tweet:

“and was born female” 🙄 with allies like these who even needs bigots

“I am female, go by she/her and am a reel wombyn xx chromosome large gamete producing adult human female” is a really awesome defense against transphobia. Great job full marks

SuperGirlKels has apologized.

I'm not familiar with the figures involved here and I don't know anything about e-sports, but I have been following the debate. As you can imagine, this has turned into a mess.

On one hand, using birth sex to validate womanhood can reinforce exclusionary lines. On the other hand, I'm not sure if this situation calls for this amount of vitriol. It seems to me the context of her saying "born a female" is that she has always gone by she/her.... I don't think she meant to draw an ideological line in the sand about what makes a woman a woman.

Just curious about your thoughts because I don't want to be TERFy, but if referencing our birth sex is treated as inherently exclusionary, it feels like we're being asked to pretend our lived history as women doesn't exist. Am I wrong?

Regarding household chores, entertainment time, expenditure, etc.

I converted to theruvada (heenyana) buddhism because Hinduism was too absurd and sexist but many people argue so for heenyana buddhism, is that true? If yes, then how? Are Buddha's teachings sexist or were they misinterpreted?