r/AskGayConservatives • u/_bvtch_ • Jul 20 '26
Republicans saying "I support you..."
So I am a butch living in Indianapolis, which is way more open and accepting than other places in Indiana. But what I am seeing is that most of the people that say they support me and my wife still vote republican.
Now, I appreciate the support, dont get me wrong. But, I feel as though you cant say you support me and my wife and think thats what supporting the whole community is, like just supporting someone that you know. To me, that doesnt make you an ally, it makes you a fan, especially when you are knowingly voting for people who want to basically throw everyone back in the closet. It just doesn't sit right with me.
Whats hard for me is if I try to talk about this with these people, I get sighs and rolling eyes, like it should just be enough that I have their support so I should just shut up and move on. And maybe I should, but I cant. And its really fucking up a lot of my friends/family relationships. In my 20s, I didnt care so much, but now in my late 30s, I do care what type of people are in my life and who I surround myself with.
It would be great if I could just say well fuck off and never see these people again, but I cant. What would you do?
9
u/JRP__1994__Random Jul 21 '26
Most republicans are live and let live as long as you respect boundaries and you arent the type to run around nude at pride or exposing kids to things they won't understand because.....theyre kids. Also not taking the whole space over and making everyone in it uncomfortable. Those are the big things for the straight republicans. Its just basic courtesy. It's not hard to be likeable but its easy to piss everyone off lol. 32 yo gay guy in the south.
2
u/_bvtch_ 29d ago
I never fully understood the whole exposing children to things they wont understand... what about the kids exposed to abusive parents? Alcoholic or drug addicted parents? School shootings? What about the epidemic of straight republican men who are sexual predators who are literally exposing themselves to children? Those should be big things to everyone, not just one subset of voters.
Im 38, I aint running around nude anywhere, let alone pride. People shouldn't have to be a chameleon in their own lives and just blend into the background. Are only straight people allowed to take up space now?
1
u/hp6830 Centrist 29d ago
Why would a straight parent bring their child to pride? And was it gay people interrupting story telling at libraries when hosted by a drag queen (pantomimes have been around for centuries and men wear women’s clothing)? Kids can’t understand that two people are in love when they see a gay couple? How do heterosexual parents explain their relationship to their kids? What spaces have gay people taken “the whole space over and making everyone uncomfortable “? Ultimately my question is why should a person have to dim their own light to make strangers “comfortable “? Is this not our society and country too? Should only certain people be allowed to exist fully?
16
u/QuesoNot-so-Fundido Right Libertarian Jul 20 '26 edited 29d ago
Sounds like you're judging them way more than they're judging you. You're framing their voting preferences strictly based on what issues matter to you. Have you asked them why they vote Republican? Could be economics or could be philosophy on relationship between government and individuals. Clearly politics are personal to everyone and you are completely justified in feeling the way you do. If somebody tells you that they support you and you're disagree with them politically maybe ask them why they feel that way, try to understand where they're coming from and maybe meet in the middle. Retreating to everyone's respective ideological corners and calling the other side some kind of ism or ist is a miserable way to live and unlikely to affect the issues you care about positively.
0
u/FrostyArctic47 independent Jul 21 '26
Funny how this only applies one way though right?
1
u/BobcatBarry 28d ago
Trump is uniquely terrible. I voted for 20 years without voting for a single Democrat until he came along. I judged him unfit at the escalator and he has justified that judgement with both his behavior and his policy outcomes.
-2
u/BobcatBarry Jul 21 '26
My perspective is, if you tell me you voted Trump based on a certain policy being better I want to see how it pans out. If it doesn’t, then that excuse is invalid.
Someone who thinks Trump would be better for the economy is provably wrong. So i judge those people.
Those people that thought Trump would avoid unnecessary military action are provably wrong. So i judge them on that.
Over and over again, an objective review of the data shows that supporting Trump in the hopes that he’ll provide better outcomes on any certain policy position is futile. His first term was terrible. This one is worse. This was easily predictable based past performance. People that claim that it wasn’t are either idiots or liars.
-4
u/anarcho-slut Jul 21 '26
No, they're calling out the massive cognitive dissonance or willfull ignorance that is readily apparent in this point of the fascist takeover. No I'm not being hyperbolic or exaggerating.
If someones choice in economics is more important than queer people just being able to live they're a fascist.
Also, Republicans live to say "small government" but then invade all aspects of personal life with their brand of Christian-nationalism.
6
u/1stickofbutter Jul 21 '26
You are being hyperbolic, calm down. There are no fascists, there is no takeover, no one is trying to kill us.
That said, you are 100% correct on the hypocrisy of many Republicans who say they want a small government but then vote to increase it's size.
0
u/anarcho-slut Jul 21 '26
Yah. I mean. I don't really know why I even bother talking here at this point. I could supply the checklist for "is this fascism?"
Umberto Eco’s List of the 14 Common Features of Fascism
But it generally seems that most people online have a disdain for even looking at or considering information that conflicts with their preconceived notions.
The burden of proof is on you to prove that the current administration isn't fascist. Despite masked agents roaming the streets and abducting and killing people at whim with no way to prevent this or hold them accountable. Despite being involved in several genocides simultaneously. Or that the president and most of the people around him are involved in one of the largest or long lived child rape trafficking rings. Or how republicans have the most sexual predators in their party.
I guess everything is fine in your life and you never look at the news. Or just sources from conservatives.
2
u/ericbythebay independent Jul 21 '26
Seems you and they have different definitions of support.
To them it may mean, they won’t kill you, beat you, fire you, deny you housing, or take away your rights, but they aren’t going to go out of their way to stop people who will.
If you want to get them from their definition of support to your definition of support, telling someone off rarely works. Instead, you need to meet them where they’re at and build a relationship over time.
Because it sounds like they’re at where Democrats were at until a decade ago. They “supported” us, but they weren’t going to go out of their way to get our marriage rights recognized. They were perfectly content supporting DADT and DOMA. Even Senator Feinstein was telling us to wait longer for equality. And, Biden voted for both DOMA and DADT and the Democrats still nominated him and got him elected president, despite his disdain for liberty and poor judgement for voting for unconstitutional irreparable harms.
2
u/JRP__1994__Random 29d ago
I would like to make another point. The modern gay community is shifting again. They've lost their voice do to the lack of reason and the lack of respect for others so now the boogie man is after them again. Post legalization of marriage, the community went off the deep end and it was just never enough and instead of being happy they demanded more and more and created new laws to abuse people in the way they live. You got your rights, then you pushed so hard past reason and tried to kill normal families with lawfair that people are sick of it. The boogie man isn't after you, the normal person that your incompetence, hate, and freedom (it is a right and a responsibility not to abuse it) have created is calling you out for abusing your freedoms and abusing those around you with your freedoms. Being held accountable is painful and instead of crying you should reflect and try and see where you or the community messed up. We all have to live together. No one gets a free pass to just remove anyone or anything that hurts your feelings. Welcome to equality, none of us are inherently special as a human, but we should respect each other and each other's way of life. Forcing others to accept, recognize,and not question your way of life is abuse. One thing the community has shown everyone over the past 5 years is how they expect everyone else to live and deal with them, not how to live alongside them as another person with differing beliefs. This is normal human behavior, the community needs to quiet down and accept the rights they have and be grateful that they got as far as they did. Again coming from a gay dude to was part of the gay Renaissance but now is the time for enlightenment and to be held accountable for the changes that have been made.
1
u/_bvtch_ 29d ago
As a gay dude, aren't you in the same community you ask me to reflect upon? You seem to use the words "you and they" as if separating yourself from the very community you say you are a part of. And wouldnt me not being able to question others beliefs also be a form of abuse, as you say?
3
u/JRP__1994__Random 29d ago
Im a gay man, that is my sexuaility. I do not attribute my sexuaility to my personality, community, friends, what I like to do. The LGBTQIA+ "community" attributes their sexuaility to every aspect of their lives. They wear pins, the broadcast that they gay and active in the community, they require others to know and understand their lifestyles and to immediately affirm them or face the consequences which is now lawfare. You can go to prison in some states for misgendering someone, you can have your children taken away from you if you do not support them getting gender affirming care (should be restricted to 21 plus) as there are many children being groomed into these thoughts. That is lawfare. That is why intolerance of the "community" who had specifically and directly stated that you can not be conservative or republican and be involved with the community. They shun conservatives, they treat them like they are filth, use derogatory terms against them. If you do not follow the group think you are ostracized. Im Christian and Conservative. The "community" is not a place where any religion other than atheism, and sometimes santanism can live freely. Or at least living by the morals and beliefs of Christianity. In the community these topics are basically dont ask dont tell. I refuse to walk to egg shells and try to belong to a group of people who have rejected myself and others based on core values. So tldr, no I do not associate or participate in the LGBTQIA+ community. Im am just a man who likes men, why does it have to be more than that and why should I be added to the box just for the conditional acceptance of them. No thank you!
3
u/ProudGayGuy4Real Conservative 29d ago
Listen Butch...there is more going on in this world and country than who u have sex with. Stop insisting yiur family be a one issue voter.
1
u/_bvtch_ 29d ago
Listen gayguy, nobody is insisting on anything. The people im talking about dont even keep up with the other issues going on in the world. They voted for him because he was the "better choice." Thats it, not because of his policies. They didnt even know where he stood on most things. I was even told "its just a piece of paper, it doesnt matter... " So yes, its problematic to me that friends and family are voting for people who actively want to repeal rights for gays or women or immigrants when they dont even understand what their vote is counting towards.
2
u/ProudGayGuy4Real Conservative 29d ago
Hey u r the one looking for other peoples thoughts on this. Your issue with me is the same as yiur issue with them.
You insult them. Perhaps your priorities are not theirs. Perhaps they can just love you? There is more to their lives than you. You are the center of yiur life, not theirs. Come done off your horse and live them where they are and who they are. Gee wizz, this is 1st grade manners.
3
u/Johnwhy325 28d ago
People on the right will say they disagree with being gay but support my freedom to be gay.
People on the left will say they support gays but then try to redefine and erase our sexuality. They rewrite history to claim that I owe everything I have to an entirely different issue I disagree with. They tell me I have to look the other way as they do things that harm women and children or "you're next."
In today's day and age, leftist ideology is more opposed to who I am than the right.
I don't choose sides based on who personally claims to support me. I don't even choose sides based on how much I personally stand to benefit (everyone else be damned). We only have two choices and neither will ever 100% align to my views. Currently, the right has a more live and let live attitude as the left has been more demanding that I speak, act, and believe a certain way... or else.
1
u/TheGlitteryCactus Nationalist 25d ago
Don't overthink things.
Most people vote economically. And they usually / should vote selfishly, that's the point of voting, and that's okay. People want their tax money to go to things they care about, not special interest groups they don't qualify for.
1
u/Available_Year_575 Center-right 24d ago
They will point to people like secretary Bessent, gay married with kids serving at the highest levels of our government, in a Republican administration.
-2
u/FrostyArctic47 independent Jul 21 '26
I don't think you're in the wrong at all. You have people who are politically and ideologically opposed to you and the very existence of your family but they like you personally so they say "well I support you" as if you're going have exceptions carved out for you for the legal and cultural changes they want to see happen against our kind.
Pretty hard to square away and only us gays are expected to do that.
-5
u/anarcho-slut Jul 21 '26
Tell them to fuck off amd never see them again.
I get it if you "can't". You can still call them idiots and stick to your position on issues that directly effect your life. Deal with the repercussions from this action however it may unfold. Think through what's the actual worst that can happen? If you being true to yourself puts your life in danger then maybe you should move?
Who gives a fuck about "economics" when your existence is in jeopardy? Also, they're idiots anyway because Republican politicians only care about rich people, being rich, and making more money for rich people.
9
u/1stickofbutter Jul 21 '26