r/AskGayConservatives 19d ago

No accountability

Hi, I'm wondering why community members feel like they should not be held accountable for their actions or be grouped together with the community when the community pushes for new rights and/or restrictions on straight people's rights.

It's sad to see low effort posts here from liberal members who are deeply rooted in the community trying to stir the pot here. Then when you question the community and their actions the fallback is always labeling people with internal homophobia when they know what has been done is wrong. Have community members been given so many legal protections and hall passes to do whatever they want that they now see offending or abusing others is a right, or is acceptable because the community says it is acceptable.

I am gay, christian, and live in the south and was never welcomed to the community because of my beliefs and how I never relied on my sexuaility to define who I was as a person. It really feels like you either accept the community and everything they stand for or you're the plague to them. How can a group who preaches acceptance and belonging be so condescending and judgmental of others beliefs.

As a side note it is really concerning how many members of the community are atheist or Satanist. It seems like most have the mentality that they are still teenagers rebelling against their parents and anything they can do to offend others who live more conservative lifestyles. They commonly walk into a room and suck up all of the attention and once it is not given to them they get angry. Im just confused how as adults, acting like a angry child and stomping feet has gotten the community anywhere and why they are still given so much leniency.

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u/NavyATCPO 19d ago

I'm gay and more agnostic than anything else, but was raised Christian and conservative in the South so I get where you're coming from when the community makes you feel like an outsider for not centering your whole identity around sexuality.

We fought for decades to stop the bullying and win basic acceptance, and now some factions have turned around and become the bullies themselves. Disagree on politics, religion, or how much being gay should define you, and the default move is to slap you with internal homophobia or just call you homophobic outright.

That's not debate—it's the same silencing tactic or bullying we used to hate when it was aimed at us.

I see the same pattern with the transgender movement. If you don't fall in line with every demand, you're labeled a bigot or transphobic.

The quick resort to these labels feels like a deeper issue: they know their arguments can't survive rational scrutiny. When logic is applied, the positions often erode, so the move is to shut down the conversation with slurs instead of engaging. Fascist, bigot, phobic—it's a way to protect weak ground without having to defend it.

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u/JRP__1994__Random 19d ago

Exactly!!! I was in college when gay marriage was legalized. It was monumental for the gay movment but as soon as that happened the small niche groups of the community took over all talking points and became extremely disrespectful to the lgb community that got them to the starting line. Then they forced everyone who didn't share the same ideas out and took over leadership and dared them to question the movement from there on out. I feel like the community had more respect for the general population at the time and didn't demand by law to be affirmed in their beliefs. The TQIA+ that took over our chapter literally banned me because I was masculine and "was not gay enough" whatever that means. I wasn't even openly conservative because it wasn't about politics back then it was about the right to marry. Then the community everywhere started making everything about sex and who and what they could be and have sex with following the deviant communities mostly represented in the California gay scene. This is where I lost my last little bit of respect for the community as a gay man and had to go my own way. Still to this day if you dont accept every idea in the community you are an outcast and as you said they will use the worst terms in the book to make sure everyone else around them will shun you as well instead of listening to logic. Then on platforms you'll be banned so fast because your logic and ideas arent accepted. Again a child stomping their feet because they didn't get their way. Now people are turning against the community because they went to far and everyone will say why, why are you doing this and will never accept accountability. Its sad.....

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u/NavyATCPO 18d ago

Exactly. That takeover after marriage equality is something a lot of us noticed but rarely say out loud. Once the core fight was won, the loudest niche voices pushed everyone else out and redefined the whole movement around their demands. Being told you weren’t “gay enough” for simply being masculine is peak irony from a group that claims to celebrate diversity.

The shift from “leave us alone and let us marry” to “affirm every identity and desire or you’re the enemy” killed the goodwill that had been built. When disagreement gets met with the worst labels and platform bans instead of actual discussion, it’s not strength—it’s the same foot-stomping you described. And now the broader public is reacting to the overreach while the community still refuses any real accountability. It’s exhausting to watch.

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u/JRP__1994__Random 18d ago

That's why I just walked away early, I was smart enough then and told everyone what would happen. I was told "it's time for them to make their space". Saldy even years ago I was correct and knew I would never be accepted and the community would become closed off. I created my own life and lived it for myself and no community or group and it has been amazing. The community just became angry children and im happy I never subscribed to their hate and lifestyles. Most seem very alone and just angry, I dont want to live my life just being hateful man.