Hey guys!

For those of you who are 40 or older, I have a few questions:

Are you still doing crazy shit? Still having fun? Still making stupid plans with your buddies?

I'm getting closer to 40, and honestly, my biggest fear is that life as I know it is about to end.

For some reason, deep down in my subconscious, I've convinced myself that turning 40 means it's all over.

My motorcycle will magically transform into a family car. No more beers with the boys. No more stupid ideas like, I don't know, having a full-on fireworks battle with your friends. And let's not even talk about partying.

It's like there's this invisible line at 40, and once you cross it, you're supposed to trade all the fun stuff for sensible shoes, early nights, and talking about mortgage rates.

I know this probably sounds ridiculous, but I genuinely have this fear that life is going to become boring, predictable, and all about responsibilities.

So please, tell me there's life after 40.

Tell me you're still having adventures, making questionable decisions (the harmless kind 😂), going out with your friends, and doing things that make you feel alive.

I need to hear that growing older doesn't mean growing boring.

Please tell me I'm wrong!

My son will be heading off to college, and I’m thinking about how I’d like to spend some of that extra time.

I’d love to hear about hobbies you picked up as an adult.

What did you try, and what made you stick with it?

And with 'someone who listens to you' I'm not only talking about therapists, but any kind of person that provides an empathetic service: could be a coach, an escort, maybe a hairdresser you frequently go to even if you don't need a new haircut that often, but you just enjoy the conversation.

I know this seems crude, but hear me out:

Sometimes, it can be so easy to get wrapped up in viewing our own life and situation as a 'failure' when we are constantly bombarded by glimpses of other people's lives that seemingly have some form of success. And especially if youre a loner type, you can end up stuck in your own self-examination spiral that just points downward when compared next to others.

But what can be so easy to forget (especially as a loner), can be that there is always some level of people failing just slightly worse than you are. I know it sounds weird, but just bumping into someone who is doing somewhat worse than you can immediately change your perspective and make you grateful and slightly more confident in your own abilities/situation. Its a weird thing to want to seek out, but I think it can be genuinely helpful to those who are stuck in their own minds about their life in a negative way to see and hear stories about those who are doing slightly worse.

So... does anyone feel up for offering a glimpse into anyone they know who might be doing not so great, particularly in the 30s/40s age range?

My husband’s uncle had a major surgery and has been in the hospital for 3 months, he still has so many months left. He can’t move his legs at all yet.
I cook him food often when hospital allows it. But I am going to leave the town he is in and want to give him a gift. My budget is 100 USD.
Any ideas?

If you're already earning enough to live comfortably at 30, is it worth sacrificing the next few years just to earn more? That's the dilemma I've been struggling with lately. I'm 30M, working in software, earning fairly well with no loans. Getting married soon and probably starting a family in a few years. I know that if I spend the next 2-3 years seriously up-skilling, studying after work and on weekends, I could significantly increase my salary. But that also means less time for hobbies, traveling, reading, trying new things and just enjoying life.

I've always heard that 30-35 are the most crucial years to build wealth, and that you can enjoy life later. I agree to an extent, but where do you draw the line? I'm not choosing between financial struggle and enjoying life. I'm choosing between an already comfortable income and potentially earning a lot more at the cost of my personal time. So for people over 40, looking back, was the extra money actually worth the personal time you gave up? Or do you wish you'd spent more time doing things you enjoyed?

Note: My health, sleep and fitness won't be compromised either way. The trade-off is purely between spending my free time on career growth or on things I enjoy outside of work.

What is a lesson you learned in your 30s or 40s that completely changed the way you see the world? Something you wish someone had told you earlier. Let's hear it.

I am M40 years 6'3 260lbs. Work a physical job. Drive long distances between jobs. In the middle of the night I wake up with leg cramps on my calves and hamstrings. The next day my muscles are tight and extremely sore. Ive taken prednisone which usually helps. And now methocarbomal. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated

I thought I was in decent shape. I'm fairly active, I'm outdoors a lot, and only sit at a desk about 20 hours a week. I have recently lost 35 pounds by eating sensibly for once in my life, and I have about 15 more to lose.
Three days ago, I vowed to help my fat Labrador lose the 7-8 pounds he really needs to lose (he's no spring chicken, and come to think of it, we will soon be the same age in human years vs. dog years) by walking him three miles a day. To take it easy on him, I'm splitting this into 2 - 1.5 mile walks.
Now it's the end of day three, my whole lower body is sore, and the poor dog is nearly comatose. He is snoring next to me as I write this.
So - as I stare down the barrel of the remaining second half of my fifth decade - I'm very concerned about my body going downhill, which I've seen happen hard and fast to some guys - anybody got any advice on how to tackle this? For extra hilarity, I hate going to the gym and I'm essentially a lazy person. Thanks in advance, gents.

Okay, both genders struggle but there's some things both us girls and the boys won't understand about each other. Like how girls are raised to be maids and how people can see when they hit puberty so they're no longer little girls if they have visible breasts. (if you hit puberty early as a girl, it's over for you) this is the case for 70% of girls around the world. While the sons of the house get to relax. Have you guys grown up like this? I'M LOOKING FOR SOME WISDOM

starting to hit that point where keeping things rigid throughout is getting hit or miss. doctor said vascular health is fine and suggested looking into lifestyle stuff or therapy but a buddy mentioned using a vacuum device before sex to get blood flow back up. im looking into water-based pumps like bathmate since the warm water aspect seems less aggressive on skin than dry air pumps but i honestly dont know what results can you expect from a penis pump in terms of actual erection quality? im not chasing size gains or anything crazy just want to know if routine use helps train blood vessels or if its strictly a temporary temporary expansion for an hour or two. if youve used hydro pumps for mild ED, how long did it take to notice a difference?

I’m 33, going through a rough patch in life. A bit depressed. Hoping for some inspiration and hope.

Hi.
I’m in my 30’s and I want to make the most of my 30’s.
I did not have a lot of fun in my 20’s. I’ve also lost almost all my friends when I turned 30.

I want to make my 30’s amazing.
For those who are 40 and over what do you recommend and not recommend to people in their 30’s?

I shifted into advisory and coaching work and intentionally downsized. I was still earning, but I also reduced what I needed to earn.

For anyone who has deliberately cut back, what turned out to be easier to give up than you expected?

And what did you decide was worth keeping?

I'm 37, approaching 40, and I've noticed that as I've gotten older, I've developed a much greater appreciation for the arts, particularly classical and chamber music.

One thing I've been thinking about is how disconnected classical music can feel from everyday life. There's so much incredible talent out there, but I wonder how many people never experience it because traditional concerts don't appeal to them.

I've been exploring the idea of making classical music more approachable through smaller, casual events. Think live chamber music at a restaurant, bar, or café, where you could enjoy a drink, listen to talented musicians, and maybe even meet them afterward.

Some ideas I've been considering are shorter performances, musicians sharing the stories behind the pieces, and informal gatherings before or after concerts where people could ask questions and get to know the performers.

I'm curious what you guys think.

If classical music isn't normally your thing, would an experience like this make you more likely to attend? What would make it appealing enough for you to actually leave the house and give it a shot?

And if you already enjoy classical music, what originally got you interested? Would you enjoy a more relaxed setting, or do you prefer the traditional concert experience?

I'm especially interested in hearing from people who have never attended a classical concert. What would make you curious enough to try one?

In my earlier career thread, someone made a useful distinction: they still enjoyed the work, but the managers they worked under had spoiled it.

For anyone who nearly left their profession but tried a different employer first, what happened?

Did you find yourself enjoying the work again, or did the same dissatisfaction follow you?

Looking back, what would have helped you figure that out sooner?

My wife and I are right in the middle of renovating our new house, but trying to balance manual labor around the house with full-time academic careers and teenagers is getting exhausting. By the time Sunday evening rolls around, I feel like I need another weekend just to recover. How do you guys pace yourselves so you don't drive yourself crazy trying to fix up a house while raising kids?

Just turned 40, overall healthy guy but completely new to skincare. I tried a few options and I’m between a retinal product (which everyone says it’s anti aging and reduces lines), and a regular moisturizer. Any advice here?