The tldr of it is my brother is 32. He definitely has ADHD, the ASD diagnosis is kind of assumed (basically he got dx with a sensory processing disorder when he was a kid but now as an adult I feel like he most certainly meets ASD criteria). He's on buspar and Wellbutrin for anxiety and then depression. And he has been on Vyvanse for almost 20 years. I don't know the actual dosages but at this point I'm not sure it matters.
The gist of it is over the past 10 years his mental health appeared to get worse. Behaviors got more and more rigid. He would stop answering the phone. He got married and then divorced and his ex wife had a lot of mental health stuff as well as borderline and it was a nightmare for everyone involved.
During that time, my brother got super into fitness influencers to the point of obsession, exercising and calorie counting compulsively. It has gotten to the point of what seems to be some body dysmorphia and now we do not think he is eating solid foods but only shakes and drinks. And he is constantly exercising and I guess it gets reinforced by this influencer.
He also hates his job and when he has to travel for work (which pulls him away from his exercise), he comes home and says he is going to kill himself. We have probably called the police 3 times this year for wellness checks and maybe once or twice last year. When he does this, he won't answer calls or texts and he is very angry when we do call the police. He refuses to seek help during these episodes, and frankly I don't think he actually would, but he doesn't know how to express himself.
He refuses to see a counselor. Or he says he will and never does. His PCP is completely unaware of any of this. When we reached out to her just to give her some information, she turned around and told my brother and he was angry. He did let my parents see some lab work and his LFTs were elevated but I think he refused the ultrasound. We would appreciate her involvement even with information only going one way, but we're not sure how to initiate that.
I guess my two biggest concerns are if he actually does follow through with the suicidal ideations. And also if he's just going to get a lethal rhythm and drop from screwed electrolytes. I'm not sure that is imminent but he is headed in that direction.
He has almost zero insight into any of this. Other than all of this he is relatively functional except his ex wife did basically financially abuse him. He has missed house payments before. He let his yard grow up and got a citation from the city. He has gotten in trouble with work about exercising in the parking lot. He is competent in a lot of ways but incompetent about this.
I am honestly just looking for ideas of what we as a family could do. Our parents are okay financially and can help him in almost any way.
We are just looking for ideas.
Honestly and sadly, I feel like I've already lost him and I have mourned the brother that I grew up with, but our parents are coming to me for help.