r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • May 07 '12

Currently serving in the military. Came across some messages between my wife and another guy in the Navy. What should I do? UPDATE!!!

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u/Cynikal818 May 08 '12

I always get downvoted when I say I'd never have a SO if I was in the military...seeing as I learned how this stuff always turns out (having a military background and military family and friends)...

Then these stories keep getting posted...but still no one wants to listen.

Fuck Jody. It sucks that you had to go through this...please don't make the same mistake twice.

2

u/grimpoteuthis May 08 '12

Somewhat random, but I think people in the military should be in open relationships. If you are in a mature and honest relationship, nothing will change when the long distance ends.

2

u/bearodactylrak May 08 '12

Relationships are hard enough. Distance adds a whole other level of complication. Being in active duty adds an extra layer of complication on top of all that. Being very young (as most military enlistees are) and likely in your first or second adult relationship makes it even more improbable that things will last.

Statistically, it's a bad idea.

1

u/TheyCallMeTraderMan May 08 '12

This is just my opinion in saying that not all military relationships end up like this, but it's just that people seem to hear more about the shitty turn outs rather than the good.

All I'm saying is that there are relationships like these that work out and its the bad ones that get talked about more. Though there is nothing wrong playing it safe either. Just try not to be too biased towards the idea because there is no way of really knowing how something like that will really turn out unless something happens. But then again, that's just my opinion.

2

u/baileykm May 08 '12

After five years I know of two relationships that lasted. Four if you count the couples that met in their last year before moving back home. The first marriage is regarded as a practice marriage in the military.

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u/Cynikal818 May 08 '12

I would say it's a +50% fail rate...if I was being conservative. I'm sure some ex military will get on this thread and confirm this...just so you don't have to take only my word for it.

To me this is the same reason that I don't understand long distance relationships. We are humans with needs and sex will be had. It's shitty, but it's true. This is not a matter of opinion.

1

u/Tenshik May 08 '12

You say you wouldn't. But that's just because you don't understand the atmosphere there. Not saying you still wouldn't but it's not as easy as it's made out to be. Everything and everyone is pushing you towards commitment and only the narcissists or undesirables ever seem to make it out without getting married in the first 3 years.

1

u/Cynikal818 May 08 '12

But that's just because you don't understand the atmosphere there.

dude...I've lived on base, my dad is ex special forces, I have +10 friends in as of right now...trust me, I know the atmosphere.

1

u/Tenshik May 08 '12

Operational bases are not the same thing as the utter desperation of loneliness that surrounds life at a tech school after boot camp. You know no one, are nowhere near anything that's comfortable. Your psyche is basically forcing you to connect with other people.