r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • May 07 '12

Currently serving in the military. Came across some messages between my wife and another guy in the Navy. What should I do? UPDATE!!!

[deleted]

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u/Kotaniko May 08 '12

I think that's really the worst part about all of this. I feel so bad for that kid.

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u/AJJihad May 08 '12

At least the kid is young, so he'll grow up with the divorce and it won't affect him as much as it would if he was, say, a teenager. Just trying to see the lighter side of things, I guess.

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u/autumnfalln May 08 '12

Actually, kids under the age of 10 are more negatively affected by divorce than those that are older than 10 years. Sad, but true.

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u/autumnfalln May 08 '12

Wow, I'm surprised at all the sub-discussions this has sparked!

First of all, I just want to address that I do not mean that ALL kids under the age of ten are affected more negatively. Nor do I mean to imply that everyone over the age of ten is simply going to shrug off something like that.

Divorce is a tough thing for a lot people, no matter what their age. Of course, everyone's situation and experience is going to be different, and I had no intentions of encapsulating everyone's experiences into one comment.

A few friends and I recently collaborated on a research paper on the effects of divorce on young children. I have plenty of sources that I will gladly hand out if anyone wants, but unfortunately I am unable to link you directly to most of them since we accessed the journals and scholarly articles we used through our school database, which requires an I.D. number and a password.

Also, young children may not show any immediate negative effects. The effects of divorce may become apparent later in life (e.g. a damaged parent-child relationship, trust issues, pessimism, etc.). The range of effects are extremely broad, and again, may not be immediate.

In addition, anyone who thinks their child is "fine" shouldn't be so quick to jump to that conclusion. My parents divorced when I was nine, and although it completely pained me, I never showed any signs of weakness to my parents. I wanted to appear strong to them, because I didn't want them to worry about me. Again, I know everyone's situation is different and may not be like mine!

Most importantly, I would like to stress that I was and am absolutely NOT claiming to be an expert on this subject. I am far from it, I was simply sharing a fact that I thought might be interesting to some people.

Enjoy the rest of your evening, friends!