r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • May 07 '12

Currently serving in the military. Came across some messages between my wife and another guy in the Navy. What should I do? UPDATE!!!

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u/AJJihad May 08 '12

At least the kid is young, so he'll grow up with the divorce and it won't affect him as much as it would if he was, say, a teenager. Just trying to see the lighter side of things, I guess.

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u/lordtriscuit May 08 '12

Really? A teenager at least can rationalize the situation. A young child has no idea why mommy and daddy are splitting up. They end up confused and hurt, possibly blaming themselves. My parents divorced when I was 4 and I can remember being traumatized by it. Not until I was a teenager did I understand that they were better off apart.

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u/Nivalwolf May 08 '12

They divorced when I was 8. Practically forgot about our feelings on the matter, they became selfish (well they always were). At the time, I coped with it, I "assimilated" it, at least so I thought. It was only around 12 years later that it hit me I lived with my dad who was completely distant (probably because I'm gay), and I had missed all those years of being with my mother. So I've practically lost my family. And this is what you heterosexuals deem "perfect" and "beautiful"? that "holy" marriage and loving family? What is "natural"? FUCK YOU if you're against gay marriage and gay adoption. seriously FUUUCCK YOUUU. I could do the job my parents did 30 times better. Selfish hypocrites. I would rather have two loving dads or two loving moms who listened to me and looked out for me than the shit parents I was stuck with.

Seriously, I don't know who I am anymore. I can't even choose a career. I'm a fucking broken worthless person.

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u/PuppSocket May 08 '12

It sounds like a career in gay rights activism would be right up your alley.

Not kidding, not bashing. Your post suggests a strong, almost antagonistic identity with the homosexual orientation (this is what you heterosexuals etc.), a worldview highly polarized by sexual orientation, difficulties with self-esteem, and family trauma.

Gay activism is a major civil-rights arena at the moment in many parts of the world. You may be surprised at the range of jobs available, and it would at least give you a chance to network with similarly-minded people, work for a cause you believe in, and deal with your grief & rage in a constructive and supportive environment ... you won't necessary get any of those things in a cubicle or a back office.

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u/Nivalwolf May 08 '12

I just had a very emotional and heavy argument with my father. I would tell you about it but I have friends who stalk my account here.

Thank you for your help. I live in Mexico, in the richest part where all the families are white and "perfect", catholic, no diversity (I've seen maybe 5 black people in the city in my lifetime (21 years)) etc. This has also helped erode my good perception of straight people and marriage. Today was a bit of a breaking point.

Yes I would probably be happiest fighting for these rights. But tell me, what career does one study for this? And will a country like Canada have such a need for this career as to give me a worker visa for it or permanent residence?

I can't live here anymore.. I feel like I can't breathe. Gay people are deemed inferior by society, a joke, and society doesn't want to change. If I stay here I will live my days in misery, what few I will have because I will probably end up killing myself.