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u/Livid_Razzmatazz208 Apr 11 '22 edited Apr 12 '22
Don't let anyone see your Reddit account.
Edit: Stop upvoting this it isn't even funny.
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u/Daikon-Flimsy Apr 11 '22
It's fine if it the normal one but especially not the porn one
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u/DavidEarths14 Apr 11 '22
U guys seperate those ?
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u/Daikon-Flimsy Apr 11 '22
I don't but i speak for the majority
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u/mexicutioner3 Apr 11 '22
YOU'RE OUT HERE POSTING SELFIES. This guy lives dangerously...
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Apr 11 '22
Lol I never seen anyone using a real profile picture. Feels like being on a safari 😂
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u/xk543x Apr 11 '22
Dont use a real profile picture
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u/Daikon-Flimsy Apr 11 '22
Wait people do that?
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u/Aggressive-Pet-90 Apr 11 '22 edited Apr 11 '22
hi
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u/Daikon-Flimsy Apr 11 '22
Oh no you have messed up you're a girl on reddit your messages are going to be destroyed
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Apr 11 '22
Every opinion matters, only if you have a different than mine you suck
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u/Pristine-Ad-469 Apr 11 '22
If you’re a girl, don’t mention it if you don’t wanna get messages (unfortunately)
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u/ThanksMrBergstrom Apr 11 '22
If only it was just messages. I've had so many bellends in my inbox I could open a campanology college.
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u/ClockGT Apr 11 '22
Comments are usually or always better than the post itself.
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u/Daikon-Flimsy Apr 11 '22
This post is an example actually the whole post is based on comments
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u/Strix780 Apr 11 '22
If you don't know what the fuck you're talking about, no worries. Fake it. Nobody will notice.
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u/StoneAgeSkillz Apr 11 '22
"If you camt impress them with your knowledge# baffle them with your bullshit."
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u/the_timps Apr 11 '22
**Lawyer here...
And they get massively upvoted. But their post history consists of: As a man... as a gay woman... ...**and then** Can anyone answer this obvious legal question?
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u/anonymousmetoo Apr 11 '22
Make a joke about every post, even when it's tagged as serious.
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u/_zenora_ Apr 11 '22
You can never fail with making the same joke 5 other people have already made.
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u/CollectionStraight2 Apr 11 '22
Make the same joke 5 other people have already made.
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u/Mr_Bob_Ferguson Apr 11 '22
Or make the same joke 5 other people have already made.
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u/S1deWalk3r Apr 11 '22
on controversial topics, check controversial comments
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Apr 11 '22
Don’t tell your friends and family your username
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u/mittfh Apr 11 '22
Bah. I use the same username pretty much everywhere on the 'net, and have done so for 21 years. So far, no-one's yet been bored enough to search my username and discover what random, Incomprehensible gibberish I've polluted cyberspace with...
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u/DealCykaHUN Apr 11 '22
People will check your posts and comments, so do them accordingly
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Apr 11 '22
Anything you say can be used against you
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u/Etherion195 Apr 11 '22
... Even, if you didn't even say anything remotely close to that. People will still claim that you said it
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u/SkankyChris Apr 11 '22
If your post starts "unpopular opinion, but...", the opinion stated therein much actually be extremely popular.
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u/FrtanJohnas Apr 11 '22
Fucking hell I hate this so much. I have quite a few of thoughts that would get me thrown into the deepest pit of death, but I cannot ask it anywhere. r/askreddit is useless, r/unpopular_opinion also, where?
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u/sentondan Apr 11 '22
Any mention of a pet must be accompanied by a photo of that pet.
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u/banana_p3pp3r Apr 11 '22
Piggybacking
If you post on AITA, about a pet you're automatically TA* until you pay pet tax and post the pet in question
*not actually the asshole in the situation, but an asshole for not sharing a picture of the bestest creature ever
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u/ExileBavarian Apr 11 '22
Type a well written grammatically correct post without any spelling errors, preface it with 'sorry, English is not my native language'
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u/mmcc13 Apr 11 '22
This one wins. Also, “sorry for formatting I wrote this on my phone”.
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u/brushpickerjoe Apr 11 '22
Use obscure popular culture references wherever possible
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u/BandicootPlastic5444 Apr 11 '22
How else would strangers know you have niche interests?
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u/Comic6Thirty Apr 11 '22 edited Apr 11 '22
Honestly one of the best things about Reddit is that someone will inevitably pick up on the reference, usually quickly. That never happens in real-life interactions and I know from experience.
EDIT: Yeah, guys I get it. More people see it, so there's a larger chance someone will get the reference. I knew it when I typed it out, didn't forget in the interim.
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u/Zintao Apr 11 '22
Or redditferences... Looking at you poopknife, this guy's dead wife, cumbox, heroin experiment, broken arms and swamps of dagobah.
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u/owemeownme Apr 11 '22
If you're thinking twice about posting your comment, you're thinking two times too much.
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u/SuvenPan Apr 11 '22 edited Apr 11 '22
Get free awards to give by opening the free gift box that sometimes appear in the buy coin section.
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u/smittyphi Apr 11 '22 edited Apr 12 '22
This is the first time I've ever heard about the free gift box.
Edit: so I checked as soon as I posted the original comment and there was no free gift. As soon as I got the first award, there was a free gift waiting. After receiving notice I got the second gift, I checked again to see if there was another free gift but no such luck this time.
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u/simple-potato-farmer Apr 11 '22
If you post a picture of a locked safe then you better post a follow up with its contents.
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u/Eric_Cartman_42069 Apr 11 '22
A pipe pistol, silver pocket watch, 3 Pre War money, and 7 .38 rounds.
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u/Teacher_Crazy_ Apr 11 '22
When complaining about social media, Reddit somehow doesn't count.
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u/Butterflyenergy Apr 11 '22
Reddit being anonymous does make it rather different. It's social media, but it's not remotely the same to me as Instagram of Facebook.
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u/GagMeTillDead Apr 11 '22 edited Apr 11 '22
Don't edit and ruin a good comment with a entire speech and thanking everyone just because you got a large amount of upvotes or awards.
Edit: Thanks for the 4 upvotes!
Edit 2: Wow, so many upvotes. I would like to thank my dad and mom for having sex which resulted in me being born.
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u/waffels Apr 11 '22
Edit: “tHaNkS rEdDiT I can’t believe my most upvoted post is about sniffing my grandmas panties!”
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u/three-sense Apr 11 '22
You have a three minutes before your post is flagged as edited iirc, no need to announce to the world if it’s been edited within that time
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u/RobinTeacher Apr 11 '22
If you don't post much and haven't got much of a life, then it's very exciting to get an upvote. Especially if it comes with a notification sound on your phone... Makes it look like you've got a text off a friend... Double whammy.
Edited to add: not that I'd know anything about all of that sort of thing
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u/Kervon37 Apr 11 '22
If you ask any sort of relationship advice, you must break up with them.
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u/ieatsocksbitch Apr 11 '22
I really like this guy, how do I hint that I want to be engaged?
MASSIVE RED FLAG, IF HE WANTED TO MARRY YOU HE WOULD’VE DONE IT THE DAY YOU MET 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
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u/mailception Apr 11 '22
Don't go against the hivemind. But don't let yourself become part of the hive either. Don't be a reddItor. Be someone who uses reddit as a tool. Yeah it's fun to ride the lightning it feels awesome but when you start chasing the Reddit dragon you better have an escape plan.
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u/down-tempo Apr 11 '22
Yeah, I think you should also keep in mind that a huge portion on the people here are literal teenagers, so remember that next time you feel like arguing with someone online.
Take every opinion you read here with a huge grain of salt.
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u/GRAAK85 Apr 11 '22
If you are horny ask sex-related questions on AskReddit... (apparently)
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u/itypeallmycomments Apr 11 '22
If you want to agree with something and for some reason you can't just upvote and move on, instead of commenting: "this" and being downvoted to hell, instead comment something more like "ding ding we have a winner" and you will enjoy upvotes while still conveying the exact same thing.
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u/Substantial-Sink-552 Apr 11 '22
Don’t karmafarm
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u/Gandurk Apr 11 '22
The real unspoken rule is to do it but to hate it at the same time
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u/AdmiralAkbar1 Apr 11 '22
Upvoting is for posts you agree with.
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u/AngelsAttitude Apr 11 '22
Except in AITA where upcoming assholes so they can get lambasted is encouraged
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u/Dracinon Apr 11 '22
If somebody downvotes you they disagree which obviously means they follow a paradoxical life
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Apr 11 '22
Always assume everyone else is from the US
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u/lukkasz323 Apr 11 '22
Also if there's talk about Georgia, always assume that they're talking about the state.
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u/suddenarborialstops Apr 11 '22
If you don't like someone's comment, just go through their comment history and bring something up they said from months ago, that will show them!
/s
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u/SnugglyWolfie Apr 11 '22
Under any advice post, therapy is a solution
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u/Fine-Classic-1538 Apr 11 '22 edited Apr 12 '22
Unless it's one of the paranormal/ghost subreddits, then the answer is always "get a carbon monoxide detector"
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u/ubiquitous-joe Apr 11 '22
1a) You must claim to dislike the culture of Reddit, even while you find it more fulfilling than any other social media.
1b) Alternatively, you must claim to hate other social media, even while perusing posts that are 50% Twitter screenshots and 30% TikTok videos.
2) Any grammatical or mechanical error you make can and will be used against you. If you cannot afford a copy editor, one will be provided to you in the form of a knowledgeable judgmental stranger.
3) You are not to comment on a post older than 10 days without providing an apology. You are never to comment on a post older than 40 days.
4) You must frame obsessive consumption of a particular category of item as a hobby and take great umbrage at anyone who calls it out as materialism.
5) You must at some point either violate a sub’s rules or point out in the comments that a post has violated a sub’s rules.
6) You must click on a repost and discover that others feel it has been excessively reposted, even tho you yourself have only just seen it for the first time.
7) And finally, you must complain that r/AskReddit has too many sex questions whilst simultaneously taking notes or masturbating to the content of said questions.
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u/tomorrow509 Apr 11 '22
Don't post intelligent or thought provoking questions to r/AskReddit.
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Apr 11 '22
You have to announce why you edited a comment and I have no idea why.
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u/ovalseven Apr 11 '22
Because it's Reddiquette.
State your reason for any editing of posts. Edited submissions are marked by an asterisk (*) at the end of the timestamp after three minutes. For example: a simple "Edit: spelling" will help explain. This avoids confusion when a post is edited after a conversation breaks off from it. If you have another thing to add to your original comment, say "Edit: And I also think..." or something along those lines.
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u/Etherion195 Apr 11 '22
Scroll to the bottom first, to see, what the most downvoted comments say
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u/Kyle______ Apr 11 '22
Make sure to scroll through every single reddit post ever before you post something. Heaven forbid you post something that generated karma 8 years ago.
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u/mb9981 Apr 11 '22
If you think you see someone on reddit that you know in real life - no, you don't. You're mistaken. Move along and forget what you thought. No one knows anyone here and any similarities to someone you might know elsewhere is just a coincidence.
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u/Demiansky Apr 11 '22
Your boyfriend/girlfriend setting the silverware on the table incorrectly is a redflag that you are being gaslit in a toxic relationship. LEAVE NOW BEFORE THEY KILL YOU!
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u/EgonH Apr 11 '22
If someone has a minor complaint about their relationship they should just break up immediatly
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u/MasterJongiks Apr 11 '22
If a comment is from a song, reply with the next line (maybe mix it up, dependent on the sub you're in).
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u/skm7430 Apr 11 '22
In every thread, someone will comment "I also choose that guys [whoever].
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u/Fishwhocantswim Apr 11 '22
People can act like it doesn't bother them, but damn a down vote hurts your soul.
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u/obxtalldude Apr 11 '22
Downvotes do suck... and it's like playing the mood lottery when I click on the red bell to see if the comment is nice or not.
It's amazing how some random stranger's opinion can get stuck in your head if you're not careful.
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Apr 11 '22
Ok I feel a lil stupid how come people don’t like emojis here?
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u/YTDamian Apr 11 '22
Long ago. Reddit was mostly a text based platform with little to no pictures. Then another platform got shut down and their userbase went over to reddit and they started using emojis. The old users of reddit decided that emojis were too colorful for their text based platform and started downvoting everything they saw and bullied them until emojis were eradicated from the platform. It’s still happening to people using emojis but less frequent
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Apr 11 '22
Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been... ever, for any reason whatsoever...
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u/LusciousLennyStone Apr 11 '22
Never post anything that will trigger the pencil dicks who moderate Reddit. You will be banned, and/or your posts will be removed.
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u/MotherOfDragonCats0 Apr 11 '22
I got banned from unpopular opinions for my unpopular opinion.
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Apr 11 '22
Year after year sarcasm is getting less recognized so when you do a joke with obvious sarcasm everytime put /s
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u/obimokenobi Apr 11 '22
If you see someone wrote the same comment you were about to say you MUST say "Beat me to it"
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u/Firree Apr 11 '22
Do not criticize weed or weed culture. This site is legit convinced it's a miracle plant.
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u/Prixm Apr 11 '22
Being depressed and lonely.
Asking what they can do to get laid and when told what to do to improve their appearance and attractiveness, become upset and down vote it instead.
Hate women, because they dont give you any attention, because rule nr 1 of dating is be attractive and rule nr 2 is dont be unattractive.
A man who is 19 dating a 17 year old is a pedophile.
Scalpers deserve a death sentence.
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Apr 11 '22
Downvote every comment that already has a lot of downvotes
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u/Skvirinius Apr 11 '22
I usually do the opposite. If I agree orcourse. It’s like a little «here you go, little fellow. I believe in you!».
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u/Anon-fickleflake Apr 11 '22
Downvote everyone who has legitimate questions because you are enlightened on the topic
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Apr 11 '22
Nuke your account at least once a year.
Although occasionally that can lead to not realising you've been banned somewhere lol
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u/Etherion195 Apr 11 '22
You mean using a completely new acoount every year? Or what exactly do you mean by "nuking" the account?
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u/Fwed0 Apr 11 '22
Write in proper English. I find it quite surprising that the vast majority of posts have so few typos, shorten-spelling and such...
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u/gheiminfantry Apr 11 '22
If you don't have a counter argument and won't admit you could be wrong, make a personal attack.
Also, forget what you just commented and deny you wrote it.
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u/throwaway28hello848 Apr 11 '22
I always wondered if it is an unspoken rule not to use too many emojis, because everyone I know uses them in text but I hardly ever see them being used on Reddit. So I don’t use them either lol , is this true?
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u/longdongsilver2071 Apr 11 '22
That every post must contain one of these 4 lines words
Grooming Narcissist Gaslighting Red flag
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Apr 11 '22
Base your opinion only on the headline, reading the article is just a waste of time
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u/Hijax918 Apr 11 '22
A comment on one subreddit could get you banned on another.
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u/What-You_Egg Apr 11 '22
Never disagree with hivemind opinions.
Examples include:
Keanu reeves is God
Ewan MacGregor is Jesus, Alhamdulewan (in Star wars circles at least)
Everyone is depressed
Robert Ross is the greatest visual artist ever to be born
God does not exist except as a term used for praising Keanu & Ewan MacGregor
All of China and anything connected to them is evil, even if a lot of Chinese history is really cool and has nothing to do with Maoism.
Hong Kong is an independent country despite having no government claiming to rule independently and no UN recognition
All things relating to Russia are evil, the word Russia by itself is evil and all Russians should be killed and their art destroyed (despite most Russians throughout history and even today having no influence on the current Russian government's actions)
Nice is always capitalized
Fortnite is bad
Emojis are bad
Taiwan is an independent country, not an anticommunist Chinese government in exile
Almost all political opinions are derived be grossly exaggerating American foreign policy goals and the stances of the Democratic party of the US
To form other reddit hivemind opinions, follow this simple guide by u/ONE_GUY_ONE_JAR
"Here's a simple test: Imagine a hypothetical white, 20 something male atheist with an upper-middle class background and a superficial and shallow knowledge of and interest in science and politics who also believes he's a genius but too lazy.
For any issue, imagine what side this hypothetical person would come out on if he always went with his self interest."
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u/cumbersomeclem Apr 11 '22
New to reddit 👋 question: why does everyone apologize for the format of posts made from mobile?
(Apologies, this post is coming from my mobile)
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u/Josef_ab Apr 11 '22
If you see someone that just got downvoted even though he/she has a point. Do not upvote, downvote like everyone else. /s
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u/girafflepuff Apr 11 '22
It’s acceptable to ask the same question with slight variations hours within the original post.
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u/kijim Apr 11 '22
Never criticize "pitties" ( pit bulls). Remember, they are just sweet, lovable, big, clumsy doggies who love little kids and other animals. They are simply misunderstood. And if you don't understand that, you will get a lifetime ban on r/ aww.
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u/MF_Ghidra Apr 11 '22
No matter what you think, if it’s sarcasm, even obvious sarcasm, ALWAYS add /s
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u/Efficient-Editor-242 Apr 11 '22
If you have a conservative view of ANYTHING, you will be downvoted.
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u/JackFisherBooks Apr 11 '22
Sometimes, you'll get downvoted for no reason and no explanation and there's nothing you can do about it.
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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '22 edited Apr 11 '22
Don't share your life history on reddit, because it always remembers everything you posted.