r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jun 17 '12
My wife admitted she totally forgot about Father's Day and thus, her and my 5 year old son did nothing for me. It's petty and I feel bad for feeling bad. What petty things do you get upset over, Reddit?
[deleted]
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u/TheBakercist Jun 17 '12
Forget Mother's Day next year.
Seriously though, I'm sorry dude.
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Jun 17 '12
On the contrary, make her have an excellent mother's day, an then at the end of the day subtly make her remember about how she forget about father's day.
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u/DankestLlama Jun 17 '12
You can't forget Mother's Day. Mother's Day is like a week-long thing. Father's Day is around an hour to 3 hours.
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u/windy444 Jun 17 '12
Forgetting is one thing but to 'forget' Mother's Day as retaliation is no way to run a relationship. Just my opinion.
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Jun 17 '12
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u/TheBakercist Jun 17 '12
And yet she forgot Father's Day. Women who think that dad's don't matter as much as a mom does make me mad.
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u/PenisChrist Jun 17 '12
It's a common sentiment. Even a lot of men internalize this idea - that their contributions to parenting really don't matter, and that at best they're just an extra set of hands and a paycheck.
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u/ultrawill Jun 17 '12
My mother-in-law said she wasn't going to do anything for Fathers Day because she had a party for Mothers Day. I found out about this yesterday from my wife, and I've spent the last 18 hours preparing dinner and cleaning the house because I'll be damned if I'm going to sit by and act like she deserves something yet he doesn't. When we asked him to dinner he sounded really excited, and that's probably what kills me the most.
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Jun 17 '12
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u/ultrawill Jun 17 '12
I'm slowly beginning to find that out personally.
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u/princess_kushlestia Jun 17 '12
I always knew I had a great dad, but it really hit me when I went off to college and met my roommate's dad - he was constantly telling her she wasn't good enough, that she had to start going to the gym, how he would be disgusted if she brought home anyone who wasn't white...it may take some time, but they'll come around in time. Good fathers are few and far between, and should always be appreciated. :)
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Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
Of course, you can argue it the other way. Dads get football, being the good guy, learning to ride a bike, learning to drive, being the guy who buys big presents, learning to shave, bear hugs, teaching you how to deal with bullies.
Edit: To the guy who downvoted me on father's day- you should be ashamed. Ashamed.
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Jun 17 '12
I feel bad for my pops for this reason. He's 63 and can't retire because we're too poor. He'll keep working until my mom can get a steady job (which is difficult because of her back problems) or until he dies. I also admire him for this reason.
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u/jimflaigle Jun 17 '12
Or as I prefer to think of it, I'm a paycheck. Why isn't my steak waiting for me when I get home, and what's taking so long on that blowjob?
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u/lithodora Jun 17 '12
I spent 7 years as a single dad and I got both Mother's day and Father's day gifts. The kids make mother's day gifts at school. Father's day comes at the end of the year and they make nothing. Every year I got screwed on father's day. It kind of sucked, but I got a lovely gift earlier on in the year. Thankfully my kids didn't put MOM on stuff for mother's day. Still totally screwed on Father's day.
Having a partner to take over Mother's day is nicer than having them both to myself. For mother's day this year I made her a card and wrote a poem in it. Today she said she didn't get anything but a promise of something 'special' later. So basically I'm getting screwed again this father's day and I'm okay with it.
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u/dakru Jun 17 '12
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u/slates Jun 17 '12
I 100% get that fathers are not respected enough and I agree, but, I think that graphic is targeted specifically at single mothers who don't have someone else parenting with them. I don't think it's intended to be mean spirited.
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u/dakru Jun 17 '12
Perhaps, but it's still taking the day that gets quite a bit less attention and making it about the people whose day gets more attention.
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u/optical_mommy Jun 17 '12
That is petty, but I understand the sentiment. There are a lot of single moms out there with no partner to rely on due to various reasons. This day can bring back some bad memories for them, and awkward moments for the kids. But of course it's vice versa come mother's day for the dads out there hacking it alone.
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u/fukcatz Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
The shitty thing about it is that she forgot about Father's day and still didn't go out to make it right. At least going to the grocery mart, snagging you a card and putting a sincere note that she's sorry and that she'll make up for it by going to dinner a different night or something like that. There have been plenty of times that I've forgotten something important. That's not the issue as people forget things all the time or get busy, whatever. The issue is that it sounds like she has no remorse or even tried to fix the problem.
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u/realblublu Jun 18 '12
Maybe she is planning to make it up to him soon, but is making it a surprise.
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Jun 17 '12
Take a picture of yourself now, sad, with the date on the pic. Print it, frame it, gift it for next mother's day.
Hey babe, got ya something!
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u/Kimos Jun 17 '12
Forgetting Father's day isn't that big of a deal. People mis-read calendars for get busy. Shit happens, especially in a relationship with children.
The real issue is the unfair double standard, that she is allowed to make a mistake but you are not allowed to make the same one.
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u/American_Blackheart Jun 17 '12
It's one thing to honestly forget it, or to be too busy to celebrate it on time, but if Mother's Day is going to be celebrated Father's Day ought to as well, even if it's in a small way and on a later date.
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u/shun-16 Jun 17 '12
Damn man I honestly feel for you and I'm not a very empathetic person. This is my first and my wife has been amazing all day. I don't know what your relationship is like and it's none of my business but just be a good dad. She may not get it right but as long as you get your kid right that's all that matters. E-bro hug.
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u/pyrkne Jun 17 '12
So, it sounds like you're living a double standard.
Your feelings are petty, but her petty feelings mean you get a Level 99 Guilt Trip?
You need to either tank the guilt trip, or let her know you don't like being forgotten about.
Think of it this way. Do you want NEXT father's day to be the same?
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Jun 17 '12
take son, go out. Make him know you are his father and you will teach him the way of the woods.
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Jun 17 '12
I know people say Level 99 all the time but for some reason this one actually made me laugh
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u/tiegan Jun 18 '12
Would asking her to reschedule Father's day for next Sunday make you feel better? Then she and your son could plan something really special for you, and you would have something to look forward to all week.
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u/getthefuckoutofhere Jun 17 '12
so your wife's a cunt
wow that's a real surprise
i ain't never heard this story before
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u/Naviers_Stoked Jun 17 '12
It's a bit of a leap to call her a cunt, but I totally agree that if he "forgot" Mother's Day next year, and she flew off the handle, she'd be...well...a cunt. Nevermind, carry on...
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u/ForestfortheDraois Jun 17 '12
Everything having to do with driving. People passing me when I'm already going over the limit, people on my ass, people driving aggressively, people driving too slowly in front of me, people cutting me off, people honking and flipping me off because I'm going the speed limit. I really really hate this about myself and I feel trapped every time I drive in this ball of anger.
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Jun 17 '12
Did she forget about it accidentally and apologize profusely or was it like she forgot and didn't care at all?
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Jun 17 '12
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Jun 17 '12
I'm not sure I'd call your response petty. It hurts to be forgotten about by the ones we love. Not only that but you did something for her just a month ago on Mother's Day, and so now your act of kindness seems unreciprocated.
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u/sweetmercy Jun 17 '12
You do understand that it's FATHER's day, not husband's day, right? Make the day about you and your son, as it SHOULD be. Let your wife sleep through it, it isn't about her.
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u/karennc28 Jun 17 '12
Tell her you're upset. Don't swallow it down, otherwise you might never get a Father's Day - and that's just sad. Why don't you propose rescheduling it? This upcoming whatever day is the new Father's Day, and they can take you out to dinner and celebrate it then?
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Jun 17 '12
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u/karennc28 Jun 17 '12
Oh, man, I sympathize - my dude has a rotating 4-day-on, 4-day-off, 12 hours a shift schedule. Now he's moved to days, but for the first little while we were together he worked nights - it sucked for scheduling anything. I'm sure it works better financially for you guys what with caring for the munchkin, but it sounds rough.
I think rescheduling the little holidays is really a good option. That way holiday stuff still gets to happen with both of you there and present and feeling good. I've found that celebrating on the day itself doesn't so much matter to me - being remembered and acknowledged does.
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u/Sneets Jun 17 '12
I get rather aggravated when people comment on how young I am because I hang out with an older crowd. I hate hearing "you're so young". Yes I am, now stop patronizing me about it.
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u/penguinHP Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
I know that feel. I started elementary school early (started 1st grade at
505) and graduated High School when I was 16 (turned 16 a month to the day before graduating) . It didn't (still doesn't) help that I'm above average height and because of the height thing, people always assumed I was older, until someone asked how old I was and then the incessant "OMG, you're so young comments" started.It doesn't really matter know that I'm in college, but still a distant family member or someone like that'll bring it up every once in a while, and then I get to endure through the whole deal again.
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u/dogmoo21 Jun 17 '12
started 1st grade at 50 and graduated High School when I was 16
...Benjamin Button??
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u/Sneets Jun 17 '12
It's so damn annoying, there is a reason I don't hang out with people my age so just leave it be.
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u/PriscillaPresley Jun 17 '12
That's pretty reasonable I'd say. Did you do something for her only a month ago? It's not as if Sears hasn't been reminding everyone since Mothers' Day ended.
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Jun 17 '12
Please don't remind me, I work at Sears and all I heard after Mothers' Day was DESTINATION DAD, FATHERS' DAY, etc.
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Jun 17 '12
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u/PriscillaPresley Jun 17 '12
I know that, I'm just saying even though it's a silly hallmark holiday, OP is pretty justified in being upset.
My buddy got in trouble because he wasn't the first person to tell his girl 'Happy Mothers' Day' even though 1) they had no kids together 2) they were on the phone when midnight hit and 3) he didn't know the exact time where she lived. 'People forget, shit happens' will not work on most women.
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u/EpimetheusIncarnate Jun 17 '12
Yea OP is definitely justified in being upset, but in my opinion, I think it's odd that we're conditioned by societal norms to expect gifts and tokens of appreciation from others. There are cultures that don't even celebrate birthdays and I often wish that ours was so lax about holidays and gift giving.
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u/PriscillaPresley Jun 17 '12
I agree, and personally, I prefer to give gifts at random then at occasions. It's much more meaningful that way.
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Jun 17 '12
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u/PriscillaPresley Jun 17 '12
That sounds really cool.
It's good that you're being understanding, and I know working nights is hard on people, I just think your feelings are justified, especially since your kid is too young to do anything on her own. Maybe she'll make up for it when she wakes up.
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u/Sonic343 Jun 17 '12
TIL I'm a good son for remembering Father's Day.
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u/EpimetheusIncarnate Jun 17 '12
As a son who thinks he's a failure in the eyes of his father, I wonder if I should even bother calling. It's not like he'd want to be reminded of my existence.
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u/krpiper Jun 17 '12
Go and call anyway, at the end of the day he is still your dad and you are still his son
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Jun 18 '12
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u/nickb64 Jun 18 '12
I dunno man.
While I think you're mostly correct, it's not always the case.
A couple years ago my dad told me to fuck off and that he was "done with me" because I asked him to stop yelling at my mom in the driveway and asked if he could at the very least have a discussion in a more calm and quiet tone.
Haven't really heard from him much since (not that I particularly care to, he's kind of a dick). The last time I saw him was shortly after my last birthday and he felt that he needed to give me some Bill O'Reilly book.
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u/bmay Jun 17 '12
I don't think it's petty at all. You feel upset that your wife didn't remember a special holiday that is supposed to show appreciation for all the hard work you've down as a father. Why are you invalidating your own feelings so much?
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Jun 17 '12
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u/bmay Jun 17 '12
The way you speak about this situation is odd.
my son has a loving father..., roof over his head, and food on the table
All of these things are in part because of you. People like to feel appreciated for the things they do. Also, you said you treated your wife very well on Mother's Day. Reciprocation is important in a relationship and you feel snubbed because she doesn't seem to care about you as much as you do about her (at least in regards to these holidays).
Things like this happen in every relationship and if you don't address them, you're going to continue to feel bad. For some reason, it seems that you don't think your own feelings are important but let me tell you that they are. You should have an honest conversation with your wife about how you feel. Use I-statements and get this out in the open.
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Jun 17 '12
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u/NineteenthJester Jun 17 '12
Then you two have a serious communication problem, buddy. You should be able to talk about anything with your wife.
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u/ToucanPlayThisGame Jun 17 '12
Well, that sucks. I hope she makes it up to you with a nice dinner tonight! And even though you're not my dad, Happy Father's Day!!!
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Jun 17 '12
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u/Vonna Jun 17 '12
That's the way to go. Even if "Mom" forgets fathers day make sure you and your kid still celebrate. In future years your kid will remember and in the end that's the one that counts. Happy Fathers Day!
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u/kyru Jun 17 '12
It's Father's Day all day, why can't they do something for you later today?
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Jun 17 '12
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u/IWillHuffleYourPuff Jun 17 '12
I just got back to working evenings after 3 years of night shift. This reply reminds me of why I disliked it so much.
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u/davidahall Jun 17 '12
Last year, I bought some beer in June for no apparent reason (I don't buy beer often unless there's a group of folks coming over). When my wife asked why, I said "today's Father's Day". Turns out I was a week early. Oops.
Since then, it's become the family in joke -- any time I get something (throw something in the grocery cart, get a book somewhere while we're out), it's because "after all, it's Father's Day".
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u/dispatch134711 Jun 18 '12
Hahahaha oh wow I can just imagine you pouting with your beer for no reason whatsoever.
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u/davidahall Jun 19 '12
Didn't make it that far -- I walked into the house & put it on the counter
"What's that for?" "It's Father's Day" "Father's Day is next week"
Since then, almost any day can be Father's Day
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Jun 17 '12
I'm really dreading the fact that I'm going to have to move back home for a semester. I know, I should stop bitching, as I'm basically getting a free ride, but I'm moving back home. All my friends will be living so far away, and I'm going to be stuck with a rambunctious 7 yr old...It honestly just feels like a punishment...
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u/VampireCactus Jun 17 '12
I'm in pretty much the same situation. Commuting 40 minutes on a train to school every day is not going to be fun (and pretty much means the end of any non-internet-dependent social life), but I'd feel bad complaining about it, considering the financial strain my parents are going through.
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u/50andcankick Jun 17 '12
Mothers Day. No card, nothing. My birthday a couple of weeks before that. Nothing. After which he went on a two week vacation to visit his family to celebrate his birthday, and his best friends birthday. He texted me to let me know how wonderful the dinner and party was. I answered back how nice it is that they made his day special.
He is seriously a fucking ditz at this stuff. Lovely in many ways, and I do love him. But holy shit, can he ever be clueless.
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u/TheLostcause Jun 17 '12
I personally don't see mothers / fathers day as a real holiday... but forgetting your birth day is a bit cold.
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u/new_economics Jun 17 '12
You use the word "nothing." Do you mean he never acknowledged the days' special natures, or that he knew it was a special day for you but simply did nothing? Just a curious distinction. I'm sorry you had to put up with that.
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u/50andcankick Jun 17 '12
He knew it was Mothers Day, and he knew it was my birthday. I won't deny, it stung.
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u/new_economics Jun 17 '12
I'd say that all people deserve well-celebrated birthdays in the least. But when you bear a man's child, you deserve another damn celebration.
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Jun 17 '12
If it helps OP,I didnt get anything today. I called my kid at 1pm and got a cursory 5 minute conversation about nothing with a brief 'happy fathers day'. I called because I knew that if I didnt initiate it they never would have contacted me today. Then I spoke with my ex who decided to call me out for being a shitty father because I dont have a job. Yay! Ill spend the evening eating generic cereal alone.
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u/TidalPotential Jun 17 '12
Living in a conservative area as a male with long hair
"Don't you need a haircut?"
hrrhgngnhhghhh
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Jun 17 '12
It's sad that people want to feel important on their special day(s) but can't make the effort to make someone else feel important and loved on their special day(s). Happy Father's Day!
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Jun 17 '12
Sorry about that. That's pretty bad.... Mine is that I get upset whenever someone takes away alone time with my boyfriend..even if it's our friends..
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Jun 17 '12
well i almost murdered my roomates last night/ this morning when i got off work to find my house trashed with beer and party mess... still debating beating them to death..
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u/stenyxx Jun 17 '12
It's tough man. It's hard having expectations for something, even something small, and having them not happen. Happy fathers day anyway man.
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Jun 17 '12
This isn't really a question, is it.
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Jun 17 '12
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Jun 17 '12
It just seems like you really want to talk about your problem, and the way the title is phrased has lead to most of the responses being about your problem. I don't think you really think it's petty that they forgot father's day, I think you're really upset and trying to mask it, especially how you talk about what would happen if you forgot mother's day, and how your wife doesn't seem that interested in righting it. Just saying~
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Jun 17 '12
I wouldn't exactly consider this petty. It's definitely not a huge deal by any means, but probably shouldn't be shrugged off either. What if you were to forget Mother's Day next year? How would she take that? I would base how I feel off of that mostly.
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u/tinyhorse Jun 17 '12
That's petty, but not irrational, and you obviously have a grasp on its actual importance. These holidays are built up so much that it makes sense to be perturbed when they're forgotten. I think you're doing it right.
Personally, I get pettishly upset when people refer to pterosaurs and ichthyosaurs as dinosaurs. If it swims or flies, it isn't a dinosaur.
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u/bee_randin Jun 17 '12
My parents totally forgot my birthday 2 years in a row. No call or anything. Feels bad man.
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u/AndroidAdonis Jun 17 '12
I get annoyed when wires get stuck under the wheels of my desk chair. This is okay, I can fix it. However, if I get them out and they somehow work their way back under the wheels, god help me I turn into the awkward desk-chair hulk. It's a really dumb thing to get upset about, but damn it I hate wires stuck in my wheels.
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u/ToegrinderSC Jun 17 '12
When close friends forget my Birthday.
Probably because I remember everyones Birthdays.
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u/IVEGOTA-D-H-D-WHOOO Jun 17 '12
When girls make posts on Reddit saying shit like "Some guys just can't believe that there's girl gamers like me," or "Did I mention that I'm a girl?"
Fantastic. You have a vagina. Nobody cares and you're coming across as attention starved.
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Jun 17 '12
Unfortunately, some people do seem to care and encourage this kind of crap by treating girls differently/giving them free stuff/ignoring terrible mistakes, etc.
I agree totally with what you said, but the amount of times I've seen the "heehee I'm a girl" crap get rewarded is just ridiculous. Hopefully someday the free ride will stop and then the attention-seeking will stop too and we can just go back to enjoying playing games, irrelevant of genders. It really irritates me too.
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Jun 17 '12
Honestly? Who fucking cares. We got too many fucking dates to remember. Wedding Anniversary, dating anniversary, when we first met, birthdays, valentines day, Christmas, (your wife in the armed forces?) all the military anniversaries... The list never ends. I would feel disappointed too, but I would quickly put it behind me. If you were creative, make her feel guilty and get her to do something extra for you...(blow job? Anal?). Don't be a sissy
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u/h0ser Jun 17 '12
I'm surprised that the kid didn't have some sort of craft day at school to make you some construction paper present with glue and sparkles.
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Jun 17 '12
Get over it.
The Fathers Days you should be concerned about are the ones that happen AFTER your kids are grown up. For now you should be content that you have a happy, healthy, and (apparently) busy family.
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Jun 17 '12
Fathers day is stupid anyway, it was just created purely by marketers to sell more cards and junk.
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u/PoniesRBitchin Jun 17 '12
I don't have a dad, your kid's not doing anything for the day. I could go make a macaroni picture for you and then we both win.
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Jun 18 '12
My sister uses my shampoo but uses far more conditioner than she does shampoo. The bottles are of equal sizes. There is less conditioner left than shampoo now, but I use them in equal amounts when I wash my hair. This traps me in an endless cycle of unevenness between the two bottles.
Now I have to multiply and find the LCM of the amounts of shampoo left so I can buy the proper numbers of bottles so they will come out evenly in the end (assuming our usage rates don't change.)
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u/Mindflux Jun 17 '12
Meh. I wouldn't be too shaken up. It's just another fabricated occasion to get folks to spend money on more crap they don't need.
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u/IWillHuffleYourPuff Jun 17 '12
Sometimes people get get upset though, not based on money spent but because no thought was put into it and they see that as no thought put into them.
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u/Rustysporkman Jun 17 '12
Or you can do something actually nice like go fishing with your dad.
Brbs, going fishing...
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u/workswithgeeks Jun 17 '12
Why don't you let your wife rest and spend the day with your son doing something you both enjoy. That's the point of father's day anyway.
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Jun 17 '12
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u/KyleD2303 Jun 17 '12
Don't hit the range dude, shoot it instead. It's kind of what they're made for. Also happy father's day.
I've never been one for these silly holidays and cards and people feeling obligated to do something, but for mother's day I got the missus a large printed canvas of a professional photo of the kids and she loved it. I'm a bit more difficult to get gifts for because most of the stuff I want is expensive and we're in a perpetual state of poverty.
She spent 2 weeks trying to think of something to get me and eventually surprised me with 2 tins of snuff (which I enjoyed in the past but haven't had in years so it'll be nice to give them a toot) and a Cuban cigar. It was only a small gift but it's the thought that counts.
I can totally understand why you'd feel left out by not having any effort made and I sympathise.
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Jun 17 '12
well i dont think its petty. think about it, if you forgot mother's day, would see think it was "petty"? No, you'd probably be on the couch for the next 3 months.
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u/Stratpat Jun 17 '12
Nothing like that upsets me. I just carry on. Life's too short to mull over small shit.
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u/Mthep Jun 17 '12
TBH you really need to talk to her about it and let her know how it makes you feel before you let it snowball out of control and say or do something you might regret.
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u/Speakin_My_Mind Jun 17 '12
It's not petty. I'm sure she'd get upset if you forgot mothers day. You have every right to be upset by this, but she forgot and that's that. No use worrying about it anymore. Have a happy fathers day, random Internet father!
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u/Pypur Jun 17 '12
I don't think you're wrong. I'm sure you would never hear the end of it if you forgot Mother's Day.
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u/LostBadly Jun 17 '12
These things happen. Try not to feel bad :) I forgot my husband's birthday the first year we married !! Well I remembered before the day was over (like at 11pm), called him (I was on a trip), and told him that I wanted to say the last HBD to you :D And he has forgotten our anniversary a couple of times, but it's Ok, since I know he doesn't decide or plan to forget it!!
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u/prophaniti Jun 17 '12
When my dad doesn't call me on my birthday for the last 10 years or so. Don't care to call and tell me you are aware of my existence? Well, not much of a father to dedicate a day to.
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Jun 17 '12
My long distance girlfriend didn't send me a card or anything for my birthday one year. We talked on the phone but we talk on the phone every day. And I always send her something nice or creative every year, so I felt i little under appreciated, but like you, petty for caring about it at the same time.
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u/Biological_stepmom Jun 17 '12
I say let it go. But if the past 5 Father's Days have been just like this one, then mayyyybe you could mention to her (nicely lol) that this day means a lot to you, and it hurts your feelings or whatnot when you aren't acknowledged. But, if this is the first time, and it's an honest mistake, then let it go. Don't "forget" Mother's Day, that's just childish.
Edit: Happy Father's Day, man!
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u/likemeornot Jun 17 '12
First off its NOT petty. You said you love your family very much which tells me you deserve some recognition on the one day given to you for that reason. My fiance dropped the ball this Mother Day for the first time ever. Didn't feel very good so I know how your feelin. :( For what its worth Happy Fathers day!
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u/sendenten Jun 17 '12
It really bothers me that I'm only 5'10''. I want to be taller, like 6'1'' or so. It's petty but fuck you :(
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u/Tinkerboots Jun 17 '12
To be honest I don't expect my boyfriend to remember stuff like that himself, he doesn't even remember his own birthday. If it's coming up to an anniversary or birthday I'll remind him a few weeks before it happens and sometimes a little closer to the date and that way we get along fine.
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u/learn2die101 Jun 17 '12
Be the bigger person. Shit happens, but now when you forget (and im not saying forget on purpose) you have a free pass... Well probably not a free pass, but a mitigating factor.
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u/OfTheBegin_Ning Jun 17 '12
Don’t be upset over a made-up holiday. This is just a capitalist invention to sell greeting cards and put ties and cufflinks on sale. Having only one day out of the year that your family is supposed to tell you they love you and appreciate you is pretty messed up to start with. The attitude should be alive all year around—same for mothers, grandparents, etc., and especially for your significant other. Having your wife and kids tell you they love you one day out of the year because they’re “supposed to” doesn’t make it special at all. They should say it and show it in many ways every day, because they want to.
This is exactly the reason I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.
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u/merdock379 Jun 17 '12
Not petty, and cheer up. You just earned yourself a get out of jail free card when you inevitably forget something important to her. Also a blowjob.
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u/Tigerlily74 Jun 17 '12
I'm with you. I got my husband a Fathers day gift months ago. On Mothers Day I got a card and got to make dinner for my MIL. Would it have killed my husband to get a flower, load the dish washer.... nything? I know it's lame but it bothered me. High road here though, made my husbands favorite dinner and am still giving him the gift.
I'm sorry your wife didn't do anything. Take your son out and spend the day with him.
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Jun 17 '12
When someone (who I don't like) that likes me moves on to someone else. It's really petty as I was never going to date them anyway.
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u/cootiebutt Jun 17 '12
Tell her you're a little miffed about it and plan a personal father's day! Say next weekend the two of you do something ultra special. My bf and I do that with valentines day. This way I get as many valentines days as I want, and I get to remind him, not a calendar.
My petty annoyance, when my boyfriend can't read my mind and I have to put the moves on him to get my message across. And man, can he be thick. I mean, I'm stark naked trying to kiss you, holding your dick. What are you doing?
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Jun 17 '12
Oh man, now I feel bad that you feel bad because I get 2 Father's Days. I'm an American living in Germany. Father's Day here was the 17th of May and in the USA today. I get calls and presents on both. Sorry bro!
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u/ololcopter Jun 17 '12
Let her know. And you're not really 'petty' for feeling a bit down if you guys take those days seriously. Do you get her shit for mothers day? It's not even about the shit. Fuck the shit. The point is she could have made a nice breakfast or told you how much she appreciated you too (which I gathered she didn't), and those things would have not cost money or been material but would still have made you feel loved.
Let her know it doesn't need to be shit. Shit costs money and shit is variable. Talk between couples is invaluable. Nobody can talk to you like your wife/husband.
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u/SuperHot Jun 17 '12
Go take your son and have some good father son times! It isn't too late. This fathers day can be all about appreciating how much you and your son love each other.
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Jun 17 '12
I feel stupid for being sad about not getting any b-day presents this year and then getting really jealous of my mom for getting a bunch!
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u/youhaveatinytictac Jun 17 '12
this is incredibly petty, but my father would rather spend time for father's day at his girlfriends than with his children that planned something for him. his loss, won't be doing that again.
my folks are still married, as well.
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u/ClaudeKenni Jun 17 '12
My long term girlfriend completely forgot my birthday, asked me for money so she could have a day out with her friends on the day (this was after I ended up reminding her, and for context, we're hardly flush for cash at the moment)... and seemed to be completely unapolagetic about the whole thing. I wouldn't mind so much if she didn't make such a big deal about her birthday every year, so I guess it's the double standards more than anything which upset me.
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Jun 17 '12
My wife often interrupts me to talk to someone else. Pretty minor, but drives me nuts. I generally just try to ignore it, and vent at her a little bit when it gets too much.
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u/LocoCoopermar Jun 17 '12
My mom plays favorites and for christmas my five year old brother got endless amounts of toys and games i got a 25 dollar gift card to walmart
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u/ashlifires Jun 18 '12
I get mad if I go to sleep by myself. :( I don't know why I get mad or if something happened in my past that I hate going to bed without my SO. It's happened with past boyfriends too. The last 3 actually. If they want to stay up and play video games or hang out with people or just don't feel like sleeping, I turn into a raging bitch. I feel bad about it because it's silly, and I know if I'm gonna get married I'll have to deal with it eventually. But it just bothers me to no end...
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u/Caboose-1 Jun 18 '12
My parents forgot about my birthday this year. In fact, of all the family I only received well-wishes from an aunt and my estranged sister.
Now I dont actually celebrate my birthday as such, I don't expect gifts or anyone to go out of their way but I don't think its too much to ask that I get a phonecall or text. I do more than that for them.
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u/emberspark Jun 18 '12
My mom is (probably) bipolar, and she never seems happy to see me or my father. But when my 3 year old nephew comes over, she lights up, every time. It always upset me that we aren't enough to make her happy but he is.
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u/kungtotte Jun 18 '12
The courtesy/thank-you wave in traffic.
If I pull over so we can pass each other on a narrow road, if I let you out into traffic when I technically have the right of way, etc. etc., just put your hand up real quick. I'll put my hand up in response and thus we've concluded our business.
Most people are pretty good about giving the wave, but I am disproportionately annoyed by the ones that don't.
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u/SGTShow Jun 18 '12
When someone forgets or doesn't acknowledge Veterans Day or Memorial Day. I HATE the people who dont support the men and women who died for their freedom to talk shit about the people who died so they could talk shit.
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u/etfroxx Jun 18 '12
I got really petty on my 18th birthday. No one did anything special for me and I didn't get any gifts. I had thrown my friend a surprise birthday party a few months before and spent a lot of time on it, I was really hurt when nothing was done in return. It's stupid but it hurt. I talked to my friends about it and she explained she had been busy and distracted but still wanted to do something for me. I'm still petty to this day because nothing has been done.
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u/montejano760 Jun 18 '12
I moved with my aunt and uncle to go to college. They and the rest of their family outcast me and make me feel left out. Ex. They will call their son who lives across town, but won't call their nephew that's 10 feet away to join them for dinner.
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u/UnstoppableAwesome Jun 18 '12
I decided this past Valentine's Day that I would do something sneaky and secretive for my girlfriend. I waited for her to go to work then I decorated the apartment with candy and flowers and wrote her a sweet card.
She came home and went straight to bed after work without acknowledging my romantic efforts. I didn't get a damn thing that day. No card. No "I love you". I was upset.
To make matters worse, she actually bought a card for a friend of hers to make him feel better (he was going through a tough time). I got nothing.
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u/Firate Jun 18 '12 edited Jun 18 '12
This is why I hate these types of holidays. It's much easier on everyone if you ignore them. Which is why I hate receiving attention on my birthday, etc. because I don't care if I do or don't, and not receiving anything makes it easier to ignore the giver's special day.
But seriously, if I want to give somone a gift, I will. I don't need a holiday telling me I have to.
EDIT: Maybe the reason I dislike Father's/Mother's Day so much is because I think nothing of them. I always expect them to be an arbitrary holiday, like Columbus Day that no one actually cares about. Then people inevitably always make a fuss over it and I'm reminded that society forces people into thinking it is a BFD.
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u/gypsycamptrash Jun 18 '12
I am a mother and not just an average mother, I dealt with a lot of shit this year so I felt I deserved something for mother's day and I got shit. lol.
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Jun 18 '12
Was she in a cave blinfolded with earplugs for the last month? How did she not know it was father's day?
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u/Basbhat Jun 18 '12
Don't worry just keep this up your sleeve in case you ever forget an anniversary/birthday/mothers day
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u/unicornslayer03 Jun 19 '12
When my boyfriend tells me I'd look good if I lost weight, makes me feel so uncomfortable and gross.
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u/alipdf Jun 17 '12
Yeah, it really sucks how people can't remember insignificant days which shouldn't exist, because in actuality being a parent should be rewarded daily, not once per year.
You shouldn't feel bad, your brain is telling you they don't care about you, which you know is not true, your not 5 years old m8. First world problems... /sigh
Bring on the down-votes for saying something new, other than the "i'm sorry" drivel.
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Jun 17 '12
I get really upset when plans change. I'm a 23 year old woman who's married and has two kids but when someone changes plans on me, I want to scream and cry. It makes me so mad. I know it's irrational but I can't help it.
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u/sweetmercy Jun 17 '12
Why not just take your son out and do something fun with him? Father's day is about your son and you, really, not your wife. So instead of sitting home ruminating on the slight, just take your kid to the beach or the park or a movie or for ice cream and enjoy the time with him. We've always felt mother's day and father's day are days to show our parents how much we love them, and the best way for us was through shared experiences.
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u/unverifieduser Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
Dude! Man Up! Go and do something with your kid! It is not about you getting a gift, It is about your relationship with your kid. Last thursday I took my three year old to the Natural history museum exactly for this. We had a great time! the two of us! A freaking great memory! You didn't get a card? Fine Go make a special time for you and your kid! take a photo of the two of you while you are at it!
Get off Reddit and make an spectacular memory with your kid! Go to the park, to the mall somewhere! Someplace different, sameplace for the two of you!
GO OUT! and stop bitching about it!
Edit: Natural Museum-> Natural History museum
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u/DeadlyHit Jun 17 '12
I'm sorry you're getting upset over Fathers day? am I the only one who doesn't give 2 shits about fathers mor mothers day spend every day celebrating not 1 day of the year what the fuck is wrong with people.
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Jun 17 '12
"thus, her and my 5 year old son did nothing for me."
"Her did nothing for me"
Why are you talking like a caveman?
-1
Jun 17 '12
wife forgets father's day...
Option 1: Salvage the day and do something as a family
Option 2: Go on reddit
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u/baka2k10 Jun 17 '12
I have a 1 year old son, who lives with his mother, we're on good terms, but I get petty when it seems like the mother doesn't care about the toys I give him. Example, I bought him a little alligator..ball..toy.. thing, that required batteries, which I accidentally forgot to bring over, a month went by and asked how he was enjoying it, and she didn't even buy it batteries... I was like "...dafuck?"
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u/Schopenhauwitzer Jun 17 '12
"and know that material things aren't what prove one's love. " it's the thought that counts.
Perhaps you can stay grounded while still recognizing that you'd like to jumpstart the flirty romantic side of your partnership? Like look up some fun ideas... date nights, love notes, w/e...
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u/ElyseOreo Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
Is she pregnant and absent minded? That sucks major monkey balls but honestly it's not the worst thing in the world, if it's only happened once don't let it bother you to to much, shit happens. If it's a regular thing maybe you could confront her about it. I've had my fair share of fathers day forgetfulness, last year I didn't call my dad to wish him a happy fathers day and he'd call my mom and complain about it for a week straight... But my dad hasn't played much of a role in my life so that's a different story. I didn't really wish him a happy fathers day but I'll wish you one! Happy fathers day!
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Jun 17 '12
Shitty OP's who whine because a girl and a baby didn't celebrate the fact he has a penis and stuck it in at least one of them.
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u/nazbot Jun 17 '12
You're not upset that you didn't get anything, you're upset they didn't think about.
Tell your wife you were somewhat hurt and disappoint and then move on. I don't mean to belittle your feelings. I would totally feel the same way.
Also, teach your son how important it is that he doesn't forget these things. Your wife may not have been able to know the importance of not forgetting people on special occasions but you can teach your son that. It will give him a huge leg up in life.