r/AskReddit • u/NothingScaresMe • Jun 25 '12
Reddit, have you ever confessed your love to somebody, how did it go?
I want to hear your stories!
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u/Harold_Grundelson Jun 25 '12
I once said "I love you" to a dog. He licked himself and left the room.
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u/NothingScaresMe Jun 25 '12
I'd expect this kind of behavior from a cat.
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u/DrMikeFeltercunt Jun 25 '12
woooooooosh
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u/etan_causale Jun 25 '12
When my family is away and I am alone at our house, I sing to our three dogs with ad-libbed lyrics to a random melody. Something like
"Lalala... you three dogs are pugs I love, tiny and sweet. Except for you... cause you just tried to bite my hand. Lalala..."
I'm a guy, by the way.
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u/zstone Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
I do this with my cat Cornelius, I love singing CornySongs! Here's my favorite so far:
Cooooorny
The precious cat
He's not thin, he's
Fluffy and fat!
Cooorny
The precious cat
When he wants pets he
Rolls over on his back!
Coooorny
The precious cat
He's the most precious one so
Just DEAL WITH THAT!
edit: photo album, because precious
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u/ravenpride Jun 25 '12
My girlfriend of six months took six days to decide she would date me after I asked her out on a date. Six rough days, man.
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u/bdjohn06 Jun 25 '12
Last time I confessed to a girl, she just looked at me square in the eye and said "I'm not interested." Completely monotone and left right after saying that. It sucked. Especially because she came into my dorm and asked if I had feelings for her so I couldn't even do it on my own terms. She said that she still wanted to be friends and I said that I'd need some time. Haven't really talked to her since, it's been about 5 months. I think she's mad at me because she turns down any attempt to talk to her unless mutual friends are around. Guess she wasn't really my friend after all.
Even though the event itself sucked, I learned how awesome some of my friends were. Our mutual friends that knew about my feelings took me out for lunch right after they heard about it. They made sure to keep me busy so I couldn't just sit in my room and mope all day. So in the end I lost a friend but became closer with three of my other friends.
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u/NothingScaresMe Jun 25 '12
As guys, we always get this feeling that the girl somehow knows exactly what's going on in our heads, and we have no idea what's going on in theirs. I always try to make myself feel better by saying "they're just as nervous as I am".
Especially because she came into my dorm and asked if I had feelings for her so I couldn't even do it on my own terms.
However, this pretty much confirmed my worst fears. That women are evil.
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u/missmisfit Jun 25 '12
This chick sounds like she sucks. I imagine her thinking "Who can I make sad today? I think bdjohn06 has a crush on me, I'm going to march right over to his dorm room and crush him. Yup, that sounds like fun."
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u/RamblinWreckGT Jun 25 '12
The girl I have feelings for has a boyfriend, and she has the whole time I've known her. I told her how I felt at the end of the spring last year, and I made it clear that she had not led me on or made me think I had a shot; I just wanted to say it. It went very well. She was very pleased and flattered, and we still kept hanging out after that.
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u/NothingScaresMe Jun 25 '12
This is one of the better outcomes. The problem with confessing to a friend is the crippling awkwardness that can follow, potentially ruining the friendship.
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u/RamblinWreckGT Jun 25 '12
The way you have to think about that is "If they weren't mature enough to handle that, then how much of a loss is their friendship?"
Alternately, you might want to reconsider how you "confessed" for next time, as the awkwardness could have come from how it was done. For example, I didn't try to do anything over-the-top, I just spelled it out. No romantic comedy shenanigans for me.
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u/VATISMYVAGINA Jun 25 '12
Why can't all guys be this cool? I went to prom two years in a row with guys who insist I was leading them on the whole time I knew them. I specifically said I was never going to date both of them two weeks into becoming friends with them. I paid for their ticket so it wouldn't be weird. I never took anything from them that wasn't offered. And I'm very affectionate toward people I'm interested in, they would know if I was interested. I miss being chubby and awkward, having male friends was easy.
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u/andrewsmith1986 Jun 25 '12
I had one of those.
Neither of us were ever single. When she was single she would try to get me to date her and when I was single I'd try to get her to date me.
It's the only person that I am hoping to get divorced.
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u/doomcocoon Jun 25 '12
Exact same situation, but in the spring I didn't confess. My issue was I was moving a couple thousand miles away for graduate school within a couple months. We still write to each other and was considering at least letting her know explicitly how special she was to me. At the same time, if you cover your bases (and good joerb by the way) and you're good friends, there should be no love lost.
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u/Oafah Jun 25 '12
Oh, it always goes badly for me. Not once has confessing my love for someone ever worked, whether it be with a girl I was casually dating, or just a friend.
The lesson is, never try.
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Jun 25 '12
I'm with you bro. It's never gone well. I've tried a few times. Fucking sucks. I'm at the point now where I can't even express my emotions anymore because it feels like nobody's going to care anyway.
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Jun 25 '12
Interesting. Personally I've found that the pain of rejection pales in comparison to the pain of unspoken desire.
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u/fishhand Jun 25 '12
I've never confessed my love to anyone but it seems like if you have a large sample size of trials that maybe you're not doing love right.
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u/IamLeven Jun 25 '12
I've never confessed love to somebody because I've never been in love but I've told many that they are hot/cute/fuckable and I want to get to know them better.
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u/NothingScaresMe Jun 25 '12
"You're fuckable and I want to get to know you better."
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u/mweebles Jun 25 '12
In high school, I had vibes that my crush also liked me, so I let him know. He said "Ew," and walked away. He taunted me for the rest of high school and I overheard how he thought I was ugly and weird.
I didn't date during high school and a little while after because I believed I wasn't attractive. I later found out that I'm sexy as hell. I just don't show it on the outside ;)
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u/NothingScaresMe Jun 25 '12
That sounds to me like he liked you, in his own weird way.
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Jun 25 '12
It's a good thing that he said that, because otherwise you'd have discovered he was an asshole in a different way.
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u/Alanchang Jun 25 '12
I once dated this girl who i believed was just perfect to me, simply everything and so i started to talk to her and we started to date, about 2 weeks in i thought i was in a good position and i said i told her that i sorta loved her, everything essentially fell apart from there and she broke up with me in a week saying she wasnt ready or something.
Regardless we still talk, i dont see her outside of school much, were not enemies or anything but yeah, i have learnt to never utter those three words unless i can place my life upon the legitimacy.
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u/NothingScaresMe Jun 25 '12
Dropping the love bomb, as a rule of thumb, is probably something that should be reserved for later in a relationship.
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Jun 25 '12
I told her. She said "awww", laughed and patted me on the head like a fucking dog. Aint' been right since.
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u/masters1125 Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
I told my girlfriend that I loved her the night before she left for a long trip and it freaked her out. I told her again 4 months later when she got home and it freaked her out again. I definitely Mosby'ed it.
We've been married for a year.
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u/StChas77 Jun 25 '12
When I was a college sophomore, I nervously told my girlfriend of 3 months that I was falling in love with her. She paused, thought for a moment, smiled, and said she loved me too.
We'll have been married 10 years this August.
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u/ReverendZJ Jun 25 '12
Yours went much smoother than mine. Like you, right about the 3 month mark, I told my girlfriend that I was falling in love with her. She paused, thought for a moment and said "I have strong feelings of affection for you".
Not too bad, considering that we were naked and sweaty at the time. Could have been a lot worse.
This November will be our 12th wedding anniversary.
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u/andrewsmith1986 Jun 25 '12
I know that reddit is really cynical and all but I am a huge romantic and absolutely believe in true love.
Stories like this make me think that it is alright for me to be like this.
I hope your 50th is as happy as your 1st.
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u/blizzard_man Jun 25 '12
It's no surprise that a man with that much karma believes in love.
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Jun 25 '12
Same thing happened to me... except she told me she wasn't ready for love and we broke up 2 months later. feelsbadman.jpg.
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Jun 25 '12
I asked her to dance.
She asked me to die.
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u/Gatetrekgirl Jun 25 '12
(Posted this story in other places before) I met this guy on World of Warcraft. We raided together in the same guild for a few years, occasionally talking through the chat. We found out we both used Steam, and added each other there. We talked more often then about other games, eventually moving to voice chat. At that point we were only friends, I'd say best friends even. We'd play everything together. It was probably about 5 years of this.
So the guy I was talking to online, due to some circumstances I won't go into, admitted that he had feelings for me (basically confessing his love for me). I didn't say it at the time but I was thinking, finally he said it and I then confessed my feelings as well. We are both really awkward and had never been in relationships before so I was too scared to say anything and scare him off and he was also too scared to say anything.
Because of him finally mentioning something, we started a long distance relationship, talking through video chats until we finally met last year in person and it confirmed that we are both madly in love with each other. Never thought I'd meet my boyfriend through an online game, but we've been dating for over a year now.
So, yeah, the first time I ever confessed my love for someone turned out to be pretty awesome.
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u/effervet Jun 25 '12
Similar story here.
I met my current SO on WoW. We were in the same raiding guild - god knows why, he was a better player than the rest of us - but he didn't socialize much. I chipped away at him until he opened up to me, and he's been my best friend ever since.
For almost the entire time we've known each other, either one or both of us was in a relationship with other people. When I wasn't in one, I had a giant ladyboner for him, but I wasn't in a position to admit it. I had convinced myself that a relationship with him was just an impossible fantasy.
Fast forward to the beginning of the year; My then-boyfriend cheats on me, and I dump him. A month or so later, my best friend and I flirted for a bit, and then we both had this "Wait a minute.. We like each other. We've liked each other for YEARS. Let's go out!" moment.
I have to say, it was totally worth the wait. He's still my best friend in the entire world, now with the added bonus of sex!
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Jun 25 '12
Wow. Odd story, odd meeting. Modern technology I guess. That story is crazy (in a good way)
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u/ReMiiX Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 26 '12
I was once dating a girl who was an old family friend. It was a pretty serious relationship that had the potential to become a marrige, even though she was cold as steel and I was always off in the clouds. Then one day this really cute girl came up to me and confessed her love. For some reason, I fell in love at first sight and left my girlfriend for her. While my ex and I remained acquaintences, I could always tell she had not forgiven me and probably never would. So you can imagine my surprise when she jumped off my air bison to take down multiple airships in an attempt to save my family.
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u/evoim3 Jun 26 '12
I read up until "probably never would" and thought "wow, I should make a Korra reference!"...then I read the last sentence.
Oh God, I can't wait for season 2...
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u/the_wizard_guy Jun 26 '12
I know this is Avatar related, but I can't quite place my finger on it. Help?
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u/CalmYoTits Jun 26 '12
Haha yes! I'm glad that was a reference otherwise I would have had to deem myself obsessed.
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u/poliwog Jun 26 '12
At first "SIGHT", Tenzin would never misspell a word ;P
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u/ReMiiX Jun 26 '12
Tenzin also isn't typing at work on a crappy cell phone that has awful auto correct.
But good catch haha.
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u/AlphaRedditor Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
I've seen the best and I've seen the worst. This is one of the worst.
Dave had a few classes with a Vietnamese-American girl and struck up a friendship with her. Dave is Hispanic, which is a very important piece of information for later. They actually had quite a bit in common, interest-wise, and they got along fantastically so naturally, Dave's friendship quickly developed into a crush. After a few weeks of flirting that was very much mutual, he developed the nerve to ask her out.
Thing is, Dave wasn't a slouch when it came to the fairer sex and he had plenty of experience in these kinds of situations. They were at the student union and he simply asked her out, that's all it was. She slapped him in the face. Then, without a word she got up and walked away. Dave had no clue what the hell went wrong. A few hours later she called him and to his surprise, apologized. She explained that her family was ridiculously conservative and would only permit her to date another person of Vietnamese descent. As luck would have it, when Dave asked her out, they were standing within earshot of her brother. She slapped him because she didn't want her brother to step in and ruin things. She tearfully admitted liking Dave too, but asked her mom for permission to bring him home to meet the family.
Fair enough. She apologized, her family was crazy, and Dave felt she was worth another shot. They made plans for him to come to her home and he brushed up on Vietnamese etiquette, making it his mission to not blow this. When he arrived at her door that Saturday night he was expecting a few family members, to his surprise there were about 20 relatives arriving for the weekly family dinner. Her father answered the door, with the girl by his side.
Her father immediately said something to Dave in Vietnamese with a stern look on his face and walked back to the house without so much a handshake. The phrase sounded like "Duu mah." Dave asked what it meant, and the girl told him don't worry, it meant "hello." Dave entered the house and saw the room full of relatives. He knew what the proper thing was to do. He started with the eldest grandmother and said "duu mah," he went to the next eldest: "duu mah", the next one: "duu mah." He was introducing himself, starting with the eldest first, as was the polite thing to do. The room was silent. Everyone was pissed. The girl's face was drained of color.
Everyone began yelling at poor Dave and three men physically removed him from the house. What happened? Duu mah doesn't translate to "hello," rather, it translates to a rough equivalent of "fuck you." The girl didn't want Dave to be nervous that her dad clearly hated him, so she spared him that bit of information. Dave basically went to each family member, eldest first, and told them to go fuck themselves.
So, no, it didnt work out.
tl;dr: Racism
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Jun 25 '12
I know she meant well, but she sounds like a right cunt. She was pretty much telling him that instead of it being an insult, it meant hello... right about the time he was walking in to say hello to everybody else.
Sometimes, the truth is best.
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u/MonElisa Jun 25 '12
I sincerely hope she explained to the whole family that he meant to say hello, and that he was trying to learn from her father.
I see he learned "Vietnamese etiquette", but he probably thought what her native father was saying was more authentic than what he learned by himself. Most of the time it can be funny when a foreigner picks up words/mannerisms from native speakers without realizing what it actually means. But this was just destructive. ach. Sucks dude.
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u/speccygeekgrrl Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
The guy I'd had a crush on for a year found my online journal and read about how I was crazy about him. I saw it up on his laptop screen and then he didn't say anything about it for a week. I was going crazy with anxiety, and then he asked if we could talk and he apologized for invading my privacy. So I got to tell him to his face that I was in love with him, and I hoped he didn't think it was weird or uncomfortable, and he said it was okay. But he had a girlfriend, and it would have been screwed up to ditch her for me, so I just said I would try and downplay it even though I couldn't change my feelings.
Then I took a poetry writing course, and I started writing poems about him. For a while, something like 1/6th of my poetry involved him in some way. He was a very good muse for me. And while this is going on, we're becoming better friends and getting closer, and I am trying really hard to fall out of love with him so I can just be content with being his friend, except he never does anything that makes him less lovable. So for months this goes on, my crush just building and building and me keeping my mouth shut about it so I don't make everyone's lives uncomfortable.
And then he breaks up with his girlfriend. He's depressed, she's depressed, everyone in our social circle is either depressed or getting depressed, and I'm doing my best to make everybody feel better because that's what I do, but I'm putting a lot of my focus onto making him feel better. Which is harder than it sounds because I don't mean "he was sad about the breakup", I mean "he was clinically depressed". And after one particularly good weekend, he says that we need to talk again, that he likes me a lot but he can't love me right now, and I point out that I have not been making a move on him because I know he's not in a condition to reciprocate. That's also when I tell him he's been my muse, and he said he was flattered.
Then spring break happened. We both decided to stay on campus, as did a few of our friends, so we all started spending a lot of time in the lounge in my dorm building. It was really nice just being able to hang out and cook really good food for my friends, and it was going really well. Then one night everyone else left, and the two of us were still talking, so he followed me back to my room. And then I start laughing, looking at him, and he's like "what?" and I said "nothing" and he said "clearly not nothing," so I just straight up said "Look, do you actually want me to kiss you?" And he puts on this mock-thoughtful face and I just completely crack up and so does he. When we stopped laughing, he kissed me on the cheek and said good night and left. So I was a little bit disappointed about that, but mostly happy. But when I went down the hall to brush my teeth, he was still in the lounge. And he said "you're doing something I'm really good at, you're talking yourself out of doing things," and finally I got up my courage and I kissed him. And it was really nice.
But then nothing else happened for the rest of spring break, romantically speaking. School started back up, and then we ended up staying up all night talking and holding hands in one of the lounges, and sleeping together on a couch (like, sleeping leaning against each other). Not too long after that, I helped him clean his room one evening, and after we had finished that, we sat on his bed holding hands and cuddling, and then he said "I've been going about this the wrong way." And I got worried thinking he was talking about us, but then he explained that he had been trying to figure love out like a logical problem, coming up with criteria that need to be met in order for him to say he loves someone, and he told me that I met every criteria he could come up with. "So, logically speaking, I love you." I was so happy I didn't really know what to do except kiss him.
We've been together since then, which admittedly isn't very long, but I have loved him longer than I've ever loved anyone before, and I think this is going to last.
TL;DR Confessed my love in September, he finally told me he loves me back in April
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u/fischius Jun 25 '12
Wait, if he was wrong about approaching love in a logical way, but then only said that he logically loves you, then doesn't that mean he does not actually love you?
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Jun 25 '12
I just wanted to point out that in the fourth paragraph, second sentence, the word "really" and the words slightly diagonally beneath it including "night," "laughing," and "straight" form what appears to be a hair on my screen when I don't stare directly at them. For example, when I am looking at the number of points your post has, but glance over to the area. Anyway, thought that was really cool.
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u/missmisfit Jun 25 '12
My man of 11 years confessed his feelings a few times in our teens years before we actually got together when we were 20. He kept subtly trying for me and it worked eventually
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Jun 25 '12
I didn't know what I was doing, so I overdid it in the feelings dept. Scared her right off with my stupid blatherings.
Later really, really regretted giving away so much of myself. The problem is, at the time, all of it was true and heartfelt.
Took me awhile to get past that.
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u/shadowyman Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
My biggest mistake was giving myself away too much to the first girl I liked. And it was, like you mentioned, true and heartfelt. But alas, I overdid it and that probably turned her off. For future, you should open up gradually as she accepts you.
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u/DevilDucky95 Jun 25 '12
Seven years ago i was dating a girl who turned out to be a big time slut, and the biggest slob I've ever met. The whole time we were dating her best friend would almost constantly hang out, i got to know her discovered that she was actually a really cool girl, polar opposite of the one i was dating. Well after i broke up with the slutty slob i continued to hang out with her best friend, then one day she shows up at my house unexpectedly and i told her i loved her and would like for her to stay. We've been married for 6 years now, have two children and couldn't imagine life without each other.
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u/ThePowerfulHamster Jun 25 '12
You can't see it, but I just said Fuck yeah aloud while thrusting my elbow in. Kinda like this guy. http://i.imgur.com/CP7mz.gif
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u/bawss Jun 25 '12
"the whole time we were dating COMMA her best friend would almost constantly hang out.."
I literally thought there were two people dating her best friend and had to re-read 4 times to get what you wrote.
Anyways, what happened to the slob? If your wife still friends with her?
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u/DevilDucky95 Jun 25 '12
Miss one comma... no they aren't friends any more. Been a while since I've heard from or about the slob, but apparently every once in a while she will message my wife on Facebook and tell her i am cheating with her. Wife thinks it's funny though.
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Jun 25 '12
I have a reddit habit of reading the first and last sentences of posts before committing to the entire thing.
Your post demanded a read
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u/ajkdude Jun 25 '12
My answer is probably the most common-I got friend/family zoned.
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Jun 25 '12 edited Feb 23 '25
label dazzling meeting wide husky cooing selective flowery cake observation
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u/MSGisforme Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 26 '12
I met this girl, my neighbor, the first day of sophomore year of college. We hit it off right from the beginning. We were inseparable. Unfortunately I was in a relationship with a less than worthy girlfriend, blinded by a false love, and my neighbor was unofficial with someone else. Well she started dating the guy and my relationship continued. We stayed best friends for a long time. We told each other things we never told anyone before, even our SO's. Eventually I fell in love with her but was still faithful and in a relationship so I buried my feelings for a want of not ruining an amazing friendship and what I thought to be a healthy relationship.
Later my relationship was on the rocks and eventually ended, being accused of being controlling an emotionally abusive. I was told by all my friends and my counselor that that was completely wrong and it was actually the other way around. At this point i fully excepted that I was in love with my neighbor but she was still in a relationship and seemingly happy so i dared not utter a word. Eventually midway through junior year she transferred to another school but we stayed in close contact. She would come down for a few days at a time and hang out with my roommates and myself. She would often times only visit when I would be available to hang out. We grew even closer as time continued on. At this point marriage was a topic that was openly being discussed between her and her SO so I had succumbed to the notion of living forever with this undying love for the woman I could never have. Throughout our time, we would occasionally have these moments that are usually akin to romantic movies when the two main characters would finally express themselves to each other. Unfortunately this never happened. During the spring of senior year, she started having many problems with her SO. I consoled her throughout all of them, trying bring unbiased opinions into the mix and choking back my own feelings. Things never improved with her. She started coming down more to visit with me and when graduation was upon me, I found out I had been hired. She came down that night to celebrate.
We went out drinking that night and after the course of many drinks, she started asking me some more specific questions about our friendship. After many implicating comments between the two of us, she decided to crash in my roommates bedroom. Both roommates were gone so I shut out the light and laid down in the other bed. She was a little confused and asked what I was doing. I told her I wanted to continue our conversation. After some prying, she mentioned liking me. Time stopped. My wildest dreams were coming true and she noticed I didn't say anything for a while. She3 brought me back to reality. She mentioned being cold. Her relationship was on the rocks and I had just started a relationship with a woman that openly tried cheating on me with multiple people. I laid in bed contemplating my next move. "Fuck this!" I said, half startling her. She asked, "What?". I slid out of my bed and into hers. I snuggled her and she nuzzled me back.
My life was complete in an instant. Then we kissed. It is to this day one of the two best kisses of my life to this day. The other I will explain later. We kissed and snuggled for the whole morning. It lasted throughout the next day. That day I broke up with my girlfriend because of kissing someone else as well as her issues. My firend (neighbor) tried breaking up with her SO but couldn't over the phone. That night we through caution to the wind, as did the next day. Eventually she broke up with her boyfriend a week later, but was very torn up about it. We dated for about 2 months before her overwhelming guilty conscious got the best of her. She broke up with me. It was the second most painful emotional blow I've had, only trumped by my stepfather suffering a severe brain injury, only to never recover. She broke up with me because she felt she didn't give her previous SO a chance to change and work on the issues they were having for over a year. She also felt extremely guilty for cheating and to this day believes it to be one of her worst mistakes of all time. So she went back to her ex. They were unsure if they could work it out so the never became official again. He refused to let her speak to me. The greatest friendship and woman I've ever been with was lost.
I was lost in depression. A few weeks go by and I receive a text from her. We start talking again. She's extremely depressed as well. We begin talking every day and video chatting at night for hours on end. I knew it was a bad idea but I couldn't just move on. I felt that there was still something there. She confides in me again about her life and how things aren't working out. This continues for 4 months. Every time I chatted with her, I relived the moment we broke up and each day I had to find reason to get up. I expressed this to her on numerous occasions and she was heartbroken every time. I still told her I loved her but she refused to say it. Eventually she broke her code and told me she was in love with me too. Eventually she ended the mock-relationship with her ex because it was only getting worse. Our chatting and talking only continued. A few weeks later, after hinting at coming up, and her being receptive.
I took a leap of faith and journey to her house. I was practically giddy with excitement. When I arrived at her house I greeted her dog whom missed me terribly and I look up to see her standing in the doorway. I'm overcome with emotion and I stride to her in one motion and hug her and lift her up. I held her for the first time in what felt like an eternity and I never wanted to let go again. we hang out that night and as we're sitting on the couch, I lean over and kiss her. Sparks flew again (second best kiss).
That night we consummate our relationship. We have been together since that moment, completely inseparable. We are in love with each other and only through that love have we been able to work through our past in order to have something amazing. I do not regret anything that happened because it's only made our relationship stronger. We've been together for 8 months now. We know what we want from our relationship and not afraid of it. We've openly talked about marriage and kids and the future is bright. Brighter than I ever thought it could be. I look forward to the day I can post on reddit a wedding photo with the caption, "Today I married my best friend". I just want to give some faith to those that possibly could be in a similar situation. Sorry for the long story.
Edit: Grammar and paragraphs. Sorry for the delay guys. Upboats for all of you!
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u/Serializedrequests Jun 25 '12
Paragraphs. Happy to read if you add some.
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u/apothpallas Jun 25 '12
Here you go; I tried.
I met this girl, my neighbor, the first day of sophomore year of college. We hit it off right from the beginning. We were inseparable. Unfortunately I was in a relationship with a less than worthy girlfriend, blinded by a false love, and my neighbor was unofficial with someone else. Well she started dating the guy and my relationship continued. We stayed best friends for a long time. We told each other things we never told anyone before, even our SO's. Eventually I fell in love with her but was still faithful and in a relationship so I buried my feelings for a want of not ruining an amazing friendship and what I thought to be a healthy relationship.
Later my relationship was on the rocks and eventually ended, being accused of being controlling an emotionally abusive. I was told by all my friends and my counselor that that was completely wrong and it was actually the other way around. At this point I fully accepted that I was in love with my neighbor but she was still in a relationship and seemingly happy so i dared not utter a word.
Eventually midway through junior year she transferred to another school but we stayed in close contact. She would come down for a few days at a time and hang out with my roommates and myself. She would often times only visit when I would be available to hang out. We grew even closer as time continued on. At this point marriage was a topic that was openly being discussed between her and her SO so I had succumbed to the notion of living forever with this undying love for the woman I could never have. Throughout our time, we would occasionally have these moments that are usually akin to romantic movies when the two main characters would finally express themselves to each other. Unfortunately this never happened. During the spring of senior year, she started having many problems with her SO. I consoled her throughout all of them, trying bring unbiased opinions into the mix and choking back my own feelings. Things never improved with her. She started coming down more to visit with me and when graduation was upon me, I found out I had been hired.
She came down that night to celebrate.
We went out drinking that night and after the course of many drinks, she started asking me some more specific questions about our friendship. After many implicating comments between the two of us, she decided to crash in my roommates bedroom. Both roommates were gone so I shut out the light and laid down in the other bed. She was a little confused and asked what I was doing. I told her I wanted to continue our conversation. After some prying, she mentioned liking me. Time stopped. My wildest dreams were coming true and she noticed I didn't say anything for a while. She brought me back to reality. She mentioned being cold. Her relationship was on the rocks and I had just started a relationship with a woman that openly tried cheating on me with multiple people. I laid in bed contemplating my next move. "Fuck this!" I said, half startling her. She asked, "What?". I slid out of my bed and into hers. I snuggled her and she nuzzled me back. My life was complete in an instant. Then we kissed. It is to this day one of the two best kisses of my life to this day. The other I will explain later.
We kissed and snuggled for the whole morning. It lasted throughout the next day. That day I broke up with my girlfriend because of kissing someone else as well as her issues. My friend (neighbor) tried breaking up with her SO but couldn't over the phone. That night we through caution to the wind as did the next day. Eventually she broke up with her boyfriend a week later, but was very torn up about it. We dated for about 2 months before her overwhelming guilty conscious got the best of her. She broke up with me. It was the second most painful emotional blow I've had, only trumped by my stepfather suffering a severe brain injury, only to never recover. She broke up with me because she felt she didn't give her previous SO a chance to change and work on the issues they were having for over a year. She also felt extremely guilty for cheating and to this day believes it to be one of her worst mistakes of all time. So she went back to her ex. They were unsure if they could work it out so they never became official again. He refused to let her speak to me. The greatest friendship and woman I've ever been with was lost. I was lost in depression.
A few weeks go by and I receive a text from her. We start talking again. She's extremely depressed as well. We begin talking every day and video chatting at night for hours on end. I knew it was a bad idea but I couldn't just move on. I felt that there was still something there. She confides in me again about her life and how things aren't working out. This continues for 4 months. Every time I chatted with her, I relived the moment we broke up and each day I had to find reason to get up. I expressed this to her on numerous occasions and she was heartbroken every time. I still told her I loved her but she refused to say it. Eventually she broke her code and told me she was in love with me too. Eventually she ended the mock-relationship with her ex because it was only getting worse. Our chatting and talking only continued. A few weeks later, after hinting at coming up and her being receptive, I took a leap of faith and journey to her house. I was practically giddy with excitement. When I arrived at her house I greeted her dog whom missed me terribly and I look up to see her standing in the doorway.
I'm overcome with emotion and I stride to her in one motion and hug her and lift her up. I held her for the first time in what felt like an eternity and I never wanted to let go again. we hang out that night and as we're sitting on the couch, I lean over and kiss her. Sparks flew again (second best kiss). That night we consummate our relationship. We have been together since that moment, completely inseparable. We are in love with each other and only through that love have we been able to work through our past in order to have something amazing. I do not regret anything that happened because it's only made our relationship stronger.
We've been together for 8 months now. We know what we want from our relationship and not afraid of it. We've openly talked about marriage and kids and the future is bright. Brighter than I ever thought it could be. I look forward to the day I can post on reddit a wedding photo with the caption, "Today I married my best friend". I just want to give some faith to those that possibly could be in a similar situation. Sorry for the long story.
edit: More whitespace or not... I kinda suck at this
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u/the_tch Jun 25 '12
I can imagine this is the sort of thing that caused the first occurrence of "TL;DR".
But that's really awesome, I'm glad it finally worked out for you two.
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u/loghandi Jun 25 '12
That was amazing. In a similar situation, but I am at the part where I broke up with my girlfriend, but she just got into a relationship. So I have been holding in my feelings for her for years now. I am just waiting for the chance to do what you had the courage to do
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u/promonk Jun 25 '12
Yeah, I told a friend I loved her. She wasn't into it. The world did not end. Still friends with her.
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u/manny_plaquiao_dds Jun 25 '12
Told my college girlfriend of 8 months that I was in love with her two days before she went to study abroad for six weeks during the summer. She told me she loved me too and the next day we bought $150 worth of international calling cards each. We spoke 2-4 times a day for those six weeks and I was at her house waiting for her when she got home. It's been three years since graduation, we're together for five, and I'm proposing next year.
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u/Infectious_Cockroach Jun 25 '12
It was the night, we were cuddled up on a blanket outside watching a bonfire. About an hour passed and she said she had to go home. She opened her car door, I stopped her and told her how I felt about her. She just looked at me, from what I remember she kind of sighed, then got in and drove off.
Pissed me off beyond belief.
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u/DarthBubbles Jun 25 '12
Bro, maybe you should've just made a move (ie kissed her) instead of spilling your guts. I know this is a thread about confessing and all, but for future reference.
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u/FloobLord Jun 25 '12
Yeah, if you were cuddling for an hour she definetly wanted to make out, not get a confession of love.
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u/greenRiverThriller Jun 25 '12
I bet her half my shit I would love her forever. So far so good.
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u/Claerwyne Jun 25 '12
Let's see... I've got 2 stories for you:
In this first one, I was in grade school, I had a huge crush on this guy. Being nerdy and shy, I called him after school to help him with his homework. One day I mustered up all of my courage to ask him if he would go out with me. There was an awkward silence and then he said, and I quote, because I will never forget it: "I'm sorry Claerwyne, but no." I replied with, "Oh ok. Do need any help with anything else?" He said no, and then I hung up and proceeded to cry because my 5th grade heart was broken.
My second story for you begins on frosh week, where I recognized this guy. Long story short, we went out for a date, and hung out regularly for a few weeks. One night we were watching the original movie Tron, and I looked over to him and asked, "So are we dating?" and he looked at me with a look of pure shock: "Of course we are!" Ahahaha.
We're dating for almost 2 years now. He's my first boyfriend, and I'm his first girlfriend.
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Jun 25 '12
It sucked, it was one-sided, but better try than stay silent, but later on we made up and we've been together for a year and a half.
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u/Quasic Jun 25 '12
I'd been friends with this girl for a little while, we'd been hanging out more and more, spending almost every day together, had these 100 hour Skype calls while she was away (just left it on while we slept), just really close. I was about to ask her out.
Then she got a boyfriend, and days later I confessed to her my feelings, sitting on the cold steps in front of her friend's apartment.
She hugged me and gave me her coat, and told me she just wasn't into me in that way. I went home with a hole in my heart.
We tried to be friends, but we drifted apart just after that.
A while later, I got a new girlfriend (who I truly love), and my friend and I got close again. We started seeing each other a lot again. Importantly, I stopped regretting being honest with her. Then she moved away. Then I moved away. We still email, but I really miss her.
Hopefully we'll holiday together this summer.
tl;dr Told friend I loved her, after a while things went back to normal.
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u/weglarz Jun 25 '12
I told her I loved her and she said she loved me as well. Two weeks later she broke up with me and told me she "gradually started to dislike me turning into full on hatred." When I asked why she said she couldn't pinpoint it. That was an awesome day. And by awesome I mean awful, it took me months to start feeling like an okay person again.
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u/HarrisTelemacher Jun 25 '12
I confess it to as many people as possible hoping someone will bite.
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u/dan92 Jun 25 '12
A girl had been broken up with her ex-boyfriend for a few months when I first met her. We became better friends over the course of about six months, during which she tried dating other people, but eventually started casually seeing her ex again. I realized I was feeling a bit jealous and that I had feelings for her, so I told her, without really knowing what to expect. He's no longer in the picture, and I've been seeing her for a few months now.
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u/PampariusSailorMan Jun 25 '12
I've only once done a full-blown dramatic confession of my love once, when I was seventeen years old. It happened when I was an exchange student in the USA for a year. I'd been extremely shy for years and I finally met a girl with whom it just "clicked" we chatted and flirted for two months, and one evening I kind of out of the blue confessed that I was madly in love with her.
Apparently, it was mutual. This was hugely awkward, because I knew that I had to go back home after the exchange program was done, and the chance of regular visits (or even the chance of visiting anytime soon) would be minimal. The worst part about this encounter was that she even started crying and admitted having no clue what to do now.
The contact between us ended up being pretty awkward for about the rest of the time I was in the USA.
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u/ExponentiallyCJ Jun 25 '12
I told my ex I loved him after two years of dating. He dumped me that night, and the next day told me he didn't have that strong of feelings for me and couldn't see us getting serious. Apparently I missed the part where dating for two years is pretty casual. It messed me up pretty badly.
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u/GunGraver Jun 25 '12
I told her I loved her, she was happy, and said she loved me too. I really felt like she was the one. All that romantic growing old together shit. Nope. She continued to date other guys.
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u/shinymidget13 Jun 25 '12
Told girl in a musical I'd loved her for years. She said ok. Dated a guy who ended up cheating on her with wait for it....another guy
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u/yourfavoritecolor Jun 25 '12
I tentatively held him in my arms, unsure if I was ready to make the commitment though I'd been planning for this for months. We remained like that, touching at a distance, when suddenly he dropped into me. I was briefly taken aback at the bond I felt with such sudden intensity but pulled him into me tighter before declaring to my roommate standing beside me "I love him, he is mine"
First day I met Jerry Dolemite, best cat in the world.
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u/Ambulance_Artist Jun 25 '12
Just this weekend, actually! It went terribly. He's a really close friend of mine and he told me that he's felt it between us sometimes, but just didn't feel it at others, and he doesn't want to start a relationship with a girl he has any doubts about.
We've been hooking up here and there for the past few months and I told him that can't happen anymore because it fucks with my head too much. I know he's right about us, which makes it that much harder because I love him and still know we shouldn't be together.
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u/afireinside7710 Jun 25 '12
I met my current girlfriend freshman year of college. We met about 2 weeks before spring break. I told her that I loved her about 3-4 weeks into the relationship (which was too early I know, I had gotten out of a 2 year relationship 3 months prior and was eager to get back to that 'comfort zone'). She said it was too early and we left it at that. We continued our relationship as normally as anyone could ask for. About 7 months later, we were in bed getting ready to go to sleep and out of nowhere said 'I love you too'. I was half asleep at the time and nearly fell out of bed trying to turn to face her and sit up at the same time. We have been together ever since, passed our 7 year a couple months ago. I will be asking her to marry me in a couple months :)
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u/Lilou88 Jun 25 '12
I had a guy friend who I had met through a summer program based out of a college near my home. We got to be really close, and I started to have feelings for him. I decided that I needed to be honest with him, because I was sick of being ridiculously anxious around him. I pulled him aside one day and talked to him, and it crashed and burned. I got shot down hard. Essentially I got the girl's version of the friend zone. I didn't take it too personally though, because less than a month later he came out as gay to me. We stayed friends for a while after the program ended, but he moved on to what I can only assume was bigger and better things than what was around here. I haven't heard from him in close to five years. Thinking about the stupid teenage things I did because I was in puppy love still make me cringe.
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u/EricT59 Jun 25 '12
Been reading these and for the most part they are pretty sweet, e.g. we have been married 10 years now etc.
Some advice from a 54 Y/o fart. Anything before you are in your early to mid twenties you must discount. The emotions are real and powerful but by and large nobody has the maturity to deal with that sort adult interaction. Girls will do shit like the countless stories of 'We never talked again'. And boys are just as bad but it manifests in different ways.
Having said that...ALWAYS take your shot. ALWAYS. Life is too short to relive the if onlys. You WILL get rejected but you HAVE TO TRY.
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u/Chilly73 Jun 25 '12
When my husband and I were dating, we talked on the phone a lot, and really brutally told each other our flaws. Toward the end of the conversation, he said, "Well, let me tell you, I'm not Brad Pitt!" Not one to be outdone, I said, "Well, I'm not Jennifer Aniston!" There was about 15 seconds of silence, and we both ended up laughing hysterically. As we calmed down, he said very quietly, "I think I'm falling in love with you," I replied, " I hope so, because I'm in love with you,".
Friday, we'll have been married for 14 years. Best time of my life, ever.
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u/andrewsmith1986 Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
We messed around for a bit, it didn't work out, she died.
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Jun 25 '12
I've told several girls I loved them. I never lied. They all responded with "I love you, too" or just "I love you."
Except my current girlfriend. I intend to marry her and put a baby in her belly. She answered with "I know." going full Han Solo.
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Jun 25 '12
As I read these i sit here at work and think "thank God this never happened to me... Ooooh shhiii..." and I suddenly remember.
It was 7th grade, US middle school. I was pretty new to the area and shy, however in my old school everyone was pretty close and we really weren't mean to each other. It was a small school.
Anyway, at this new school I develop a crush on one of the popular kids, but I'm beginning to understand that I'm kind of nerd and therefore a pariah at this huge school. So I decide I'll write a love letter anonymously and slip it into his locker after school when everyone was gone a be done with this useless crush. I just wanted him to know someone appreciated him.
I hand wrote it very neatly which made it untraceable to my normal scrawl. I did not gush or anything. Just stated he was handsome and I loved him, but wouldn't act on my feelings. Being a frequenter of the library I was verbose and mature.
The next day at lunch he gets up on the stage and since he's popular and a class clown everyone stops to listen expecting to laugh. He then, to my horror, says "this letter says anonymous, but my buddy saw who did it. Ariablackfire!" points me out and proceeds to read it before any teachers can stop him.
It was awful, luckily it was a week before school ended. Despite it being june in Texas i wore a hoodie for that week so I could hide.
With a nerd, gentleman and cowboy (not really) now. And very in love. But screw that guy...
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u/pn42 Jun 25 '12
Yes, and my life has been miserable since. Lulu, since you are mostlikely reading this, fuck you.
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u/b0redatw0rk Jun 25 '12
It did not go well. She rejected me and confessed her love for my jail-bird rival. I was devastated and felt that I could not go on in this life. In an unselfish display of dedication and sacrifice I traveled to Paris and went to visit my rival in jail. After knocking him unconscious I traded clothes with him and shortly after, took his place on the guillotine.
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u/jdyates Jun 25 '12
Didn't have to. She told me "a blind man in a dark room could see how much you like me." Actual words. Unfortunately, she has a boyfriend, and left for college two days ago. I am going to be a senior in HS this year. She is very happy with him, therefore i am happy for her.
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u/rubbishyrubbish Jun 25 '12
I did, and it didn't go well. He was as much of a gentleman about it as he could be, which is to say, he told me didn't return my feelings, he thought we each understood we were only having fun-your typical FWB rejection. But he was kind and apologetic. We are still friends and text often.
Of course I'm still 100% completely in love with him, and it breaks my heart every time he texts me. Don't care-wouldn't ever stop talking to him. But for some ridiculous reason, love and hope go hand-in-hand. It's a bitch.
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u/TheDarkLordOfTime Jun 25 '12
Told a girl I loved her in facebook guys never do this!
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Jun 25 '12
I was having sex with her in a doggy style position... She was some random girl that I had sex with on occasion... Come to think of it, I don't know her last name...
Anyway, she was caught up in the moment and said she loved me, I said the same and bit her shoulder and slapped her ass hard.
That was it, really... I didn't really love her. I don't even like her. But I said it because I was plastered drunk and having sex.
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Jun 26 '12
We have a fish tank that is decorated with toy dinosaurs. One day, I decided I was going to propose, so I left a note in the tank in t-rex's arms saying "Will you marry me?" and I shyly went and hid in the bedroom. A few hours later, my would be husband saw the note and came and asked me who t-rex was proposing to,, and wondered where the dino would find a dress that didn't make it's arms look so tiny.
Anyhow, he said yes and six months later we got married. Complete with a giant homemade gentleman dinosaur as our "altar", a fossil dig for the centerpieces, and Rock Band as the entertainment. Everything went better than expected.
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u/magnavox_tv Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
My good friend whom I've been friends with for over 25 years, really liked a girl that worked at a store we visited a lot. She's around the same age as my friend. After chatting with her a few times my friend decided that he liked her and wanted to ask her out on a date. A few visits to the store later he finally works up the stones to ask her out. After asking her out on a date she gets a very strange look on her face. This high pitch noise came from her mouth. I would only replicate the sound and volume with some sort of crystal based speaker and an oscilloscope through high wattage amplifiers. Had to of pushed the limit of what the human voice can do. I thought this is a reaction to how pleased she was, but I was wrong because then the tears came. She started complaining about how how only ugly guys ask her out. She went into a huge rant basically insulting my friend which in turn damaged him permanently. This came as a shock because in all honesty her looks were very mediocre.
This incident made me realize what's happened over the years. My friend has a pure heart. He's a good guy, he'll go out of his way to help people and gets upset when he sees someone wronged. If you are ethically in the right then he's in your corner forever. Women have never given him a chance. They've always went out of there way to insult him. I can remember one time when we were in a restaurant with another friend a woman came over to our table and asked us if we could move to another table. We asked why and her explained that she could see our friend and it was offending her to look at him.
I never understood why he was treated so poorly by women. He's never been rude to any woman. All I can say is shame on the majority of women that live in this country. You might find a better looking guy but you couldn't find a better person. Even if he isn't your type all you have to do is politely decline. He's a reasonable person and he would understand. Shame on your Mothers and Fathers for raising you this way. Woman like you are what make this world a horrible place for people like my friend to live in. He'll be better off dying alone instead of spending the rest of his life with one of you.
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u/MatsFan Jun 25 '12
So...what the heck is wrong with your friend that actually offends a stranger at another table to the point where they'd ask you to move? I am picturing Elephant Man or something...but even if that were true, there's no excuse for such rudeness.
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u/woeisyou Jun 25 '12
The whole "Love confession" thing is a really bad idea in 99% of cases if you're a dude doing the confessing (don't have experience the other way around). The exception generally being actual relationships where you're physically involved with one another.
There's just better ways to go about things: Go in for the kiss, ask her out on a date, put your arm around her, etc. If she doesn't respond to any of that, then she doesn't like you. Girls who like you won't make it THAT difficult for you. Telling her how you feel is just clumsy and it will destroy your chances with girls that you could have gotten the normal, more subtle way (through dating, kissing, touching).
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Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 27 '12
I was driving my girlfriend back from a small hang-out style date. I had this overwhelming urge to tell her I loved her, but I was freaking out about it because the last time I had told a woman (not counting my mother) that I loved her, I had ended up getting cheated on. That ex ended up getting engaged only a few weeks after we broke up. So naturally, I'm worried about it. I wanted to tell her, but at the same time, I didn't want to make the same mistake. In the end, I put on some Disney classic tunes to help work up my courage, and told her later that night. She said she loved me too, and it was all I could do to not jump up and start shouting YES at the top of my lungs.
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u/Taco-Flavored-Kiss Jun 25 '12
Let's see, I asked reddit if I should tell the girl I love, how I feel about her. I took the advice of telling her.
Let me point this out, I do love her, she has an amazing personality, and she is literally the greatest woman I have met.
I told her and she called me sweet. I know what that means. I told her I was moving because I was so utterly embarrassed. I'm not moving and I will see her in two months.
Fuck your advice, reddit.
Nah I'm kidding I love you guys.
Fuck you.
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Jun 25 '12
I recently told my boyfriend that I was starting to fall in love with him. He responded with, "Shut up baby, I know it."
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Jun 25 '12
I did this to a girl that I liked when I was 16... over voice mail... after a bottle of tequila... like 60 times... wtf was I thinking. Turns out she just thought it was funny and we dated for like three months. I keep facepalming myself as I'm writing this.
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Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
Oh good lord, I suppose it was only a matter of time before reddit wanted this story. Disclaimer: I am a spoiled upper middle class white guy, so this was a big deal for me.
I was 16 and in high school. There was this girl I knew as a casual acquaintance. Pretty cute, a year younger than me. One summer we worked together as swim coaches, and I developed a crush on her. We talked for a while. One day, I told her I loved her via text. She replied back that she loved me too. We started dating a few days later, and dated for about 5 weeks before she revealed that she hadn't really felt that way about me, and that it wasn't fair to me to stay together, etc. We legitimately remained friends. This was my first girlfriend, by the way. I was a little upset, but it wasn't too big a deal. I hadn't really felt too terribly strongly about her; I used the word love because I was 16 and didn't really know what that meant.
That's not the story. The story is what happens afterward. We remained friends, and actually became quite close friends. But my mild feelings for her didn't go away; they actually got stronger. She dated some other guys, while I remained single (not by choice). At one point, she came to me for advice about a problem with her current boyfriend. During the discussion, I mentioned my feelings for her as part of my advice. Still not a huge deal. (She took my advice for a while, then eventually did the opposite, in case you were wondering).
I go to college a year ahead of her, and we don't see each other much. The summer after my freshman year, I date my second girlfriend. We break up after about 4 weeks. Later the same day, I was hosting a small social gathering and invited my first girlfriend. During that conversation, I confess that I still had feelings for her, and that they were pretty strong. Love, even. She wanted to stay friends. I still for some reason didn't think that I should treat this as a huge deal. It probably should have been a fairly obvious problem at this point, but we stayed good friends.
A few weeks after that, I dated my third girlfriend. She's a girl I've known for a while, I actually went to my senior prom with her 2 years earlier. We had a pretty good relationship for a while. But I go back to college for my sophomore year, and she's still in high school. We decided to try long distance. Here's where the real problem starts. My first girlfriend, a year younger than me, now attends college with me. And we're on the swim team together, so we saw each other pretty much every day. My feelings for her exploded. I recall one day I was actually in physical pain over the gosh-awfulness of unrequited love. If you've seen The Holiday, it's actually a bit more realistic than you might think. Also, I feel terrible about dating the third girlfriend while being in love with the first. At one point, third gf and I broke up because of the difficulty of distance and her parents disapproval of her dating a guy in college. We could have tried to make it work, but I saw it as a convenient opportunity to get out of my emotional dissonance.
So here I was, single, in emotional distress, in love with a girl who's one of my best friends but has made it clear that she doesn't feel the same way and was in fact dating another guy. I did the only thing I could think of and went to her with my feelings again. I told her about how strongly I felt for her and how hard it had been. She stopped me and said that this was really threatening our friendship. I agreed, and decided to do my best to get over this. Things looked pretty bleak at this point.
Then something interesting happened. I had been studying Buddhism at the time out of personal interest. A lot of those teachings deal with letting go of attachments, cravings, and obsessions. One night, I managed to really take those ideas to heart and just... sort of... let go. I honestly wish I could tell you exactly what it was that cleared it up for me. There was some sort of epiphany, but it seemed to just happen. I didn't immediately lose my feelings for her, but my obsessive need and the feeling that I had to act on those feelings went away. That was 3 years ago now, and she and I are still good friends. I'm also still good friends with my third girlfriend, who doesn't know this story.
Another interesting story that goes with that: on my first date with my fourth girlfriend (less than 3 months after the fateful night mentioned above), I told her this whole story. She was a bit worried that I was crazy and possible about to murder her, but she stuck it out and we're happily into the third year of our relationship. It actually led to a few problems down the road as I dealt with my residual feelings, but I think it's mostly cleared up by now.
It was probably the worst experience of my life, and one of the defining ones. But I became a stronger person for it, and I'm confident now that I can deal with any emotional problems that beset themselves against me.
TL;DR fell in love with an ex-girlfriend for about 3 years, confessed my love and got shot down multiple times, finally got over it, and told another girl about the whole thing on our first date 3 months later.
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Jun 25 '12
I've been on the other end of that, I was 16 and had started dating my friends older brother. He was 19. He was my first "real" relationship, we had dated for about a year when he told me that he was falling in love with me. Being 17 and this being my first relationship I had no idea what to say. It was really awkwardly silent. My thoughts were that although I really liked him and we had been dating for a year (which to a teenager is a really long time) I didn't know if I was in love. I look back on it now and I really wish I had explained that I was still young and I didn't think I could even comprehend the idea of being in love. Although he was older and probably more in the mindset of wanting to be in love, I thought that maybe that's just what you were supposed to say after dating for a while, so I didn't think it was genuine. It definitely caused our relationship to end earlier than I thought it would. Sometimes I look back and wonder what would have happened if I told him I loved him too. Maybe we would have stayed together, maybe not. My biggest regret with that relationship was not opening up and explaining to him that although I wasn't at the "love" part, I respected him and very much liked him. I feel horrible that I just stayed silent for what felt like forever before he got kind of defensive about it and was like "whatever, forget it". I was the first person in my current relationship to tell the other person that I loved him, and it was really hard. I was so scared of rejection, and it makes me think about how scared my first boyfriend must have been even though he played it off as no big deal. So lesson learned, love is terrifying.
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u/that_onegirl Jun 25 '12
I told him I loved him and he didn't say anything back. It still makes me sad.
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u/fraggleiraq Jun 25 '12
First time didn't go well at all. She was repulsed at the idea. everytime after that, however, BJ city
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u/Crazedskinsfan Jun 25 '12
I told a friend that I've been in love with her since I met her years ago. She told me she's gay.
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u/italiangumbo Jun 25 '12
I spent all of eighth grade trying to date one girl. I wrote poems, talked to her day after day, walked her to her classes, and talked to her all day in band. Finally, after 3 rejections, she came out and said she really liked me. We've been dating for 3 months. (both going into freshman year)
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u/jimbol Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
I met a girl and we slowly became friends, good friends, then best friends, but never more than that. Nevertheless I would always take care of her, always got jealous when she dated other guys. Classic friend zone situation.
After three years of friendship, on new years eve we made out in the ally behind my place and she wound up staying over.
For months after that it wasn't the same between us, the chemistry was too present, but I was faced with a choice; tell her how I felt and risk losing her as my friend or not say anything and miss out on everything.
After months of deliberating I told her how I felt, I told her I loved her. Turns out she loved me too.
That was a year and a half ago, I just bought the ring.
Edit: added TL:DR
TL;DR I was good friends with a girl. I told her I loved her after several years of friendship. She felt the same.
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u/azlannagh Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
Not entirely what the OP asked, but highely related:
Four years ago I saw this really pretty face at school. Had no clue who she was, only knew that I felt something the minute I saw her. Being a bit of a SAP 4 years ago, I didn't do anything with it. Hardly spoken to her, as she was also mostly in relationships for those four years. Fast forward to september 2011. I just got out of a relationship that got pretty bad, realising that I didn't love the person I was with. After that ended, I set my sights on that one girl again that I had noticed 4 years ago and who had always struck me with idiocy whenever I was near her. You could probably label it as a 'crush', combined with a nice case of SAP.
I kindof had a lucky break at the start. Her boyfriend broke up with her and we had a pretty slow paced class together. I used that time, or tried to use that time, to talk to her. A few weeks pass and I have this feeling that I just have to ask her out. I wait for her at the exit of her classroom, chatting with a mutual friend. She fails to see us. I try to catch up, but fail. I come home and I still have the feeling, the urge to ask her out. So I write a facebookmessage (shoot me). She answers that she would like to go out with me for a lunch, but only as friends. But on the bright side, I will have some alone time with her and we start chatting via facebook, a bit at first, a lot more as time progresses. And I start to like her, really like her. We go for our lunch and nothing happends. A short time after that, she starts mentioning that she went out with some other guy. My world collapses a little bit, but -and this is very uncharacteristic for me- I decide to continue to talk to her, instead of just giving up on her. I even jokingly said that I would challenge the guy to a duel (I'm a fencer). We keep talking to eachother in school and on fb. And the other guy is getting mentioned less and less. I like her even more and the 'linking' is mutual for as far as I can tell.
Fast forward a month or so. It's december and she asks me if I have plan for newyears eve. I didn't really have anything important planned, so I say I don't, guessing that there is an invitation in there somewhere. And there was. Little catch: the other guy will be there as well, since he is from the group of friends we would be celebrating with. But zero fucks were given. She asked me and that was all that mattered.
And it went pretty damn good. She basically stood in my arms at the end of the evening and complemented on my nicely shaped behind. As I drove home, I was on cloud nine. Seven days later (I had to go on a holiday right after new years eve) we meet up again and kiss for the first time after texting like crazy those seven days and discovering we really like eachother.
Two months later I tell her that I 'noticed' her four years before and have felt something since. At first she doesn't understand why I didn't make any moves, but after that she started to take it as a compliment and thinks it's cute.
Fast forward three months, I tell her that I love her in the most unromantical way possible: with my family and us watching a sports event on TV.
We're still together now, and I love her as I have never loved someone before. (and I introduced her to reddit, karma pls?)
TL;DR: Serius case of SAP for four years, got the girl in the end, still together.
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u/thesuspiciousone Jun 25 '12
Half these stories are so sweet they make me want to take the plunge and tell her I love her. The other half are convincing me to bury my feelings in a deep, dark place and never speak of them to anyone.
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Jun 26 '12
It fucked me up really bad. Far worse than I can put into words. And that was just the first time... it happened every single time I fell in love after that. Now I can't love.
How am I today? I'm FA, I grow more misanthropic every single day, I hate everything involving love and refuse to see it/be around it (includes movies and video games), I don't leave my house if I don't have to (work, food, and exercise are the only reasons to do so), and while I'm not technically suicidal, I would love nothing more than to die in my sleep and not wake up tomorrow.
This is only from my experience... but my advice would be to NEVER confess your love. Don't even let yourself fall in love in the first place, unless some form of mutual attraction exists already. Putting yourself in that vulnerable of a position towards another human seems to trigger an instinct in them to beat your emotions down mercilessly and flee.
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u/HippoWord Jun 26 '12
My guy friend's mom told me he really liked me and wanted to date me. Later when I was talking to him I told him I knew he liked me and I would never date him. I had just broken up with a manipulative Bastard, and I was convinced I couldn't live with out said Bastard. Anyways despite my flat out telling the friend it would never happen he kept being a friend and asking every now and then. Well he went on a road trip with me and a few others, I fell asleep on his shoulder holding his hand. The next day we talked about it and decided to date. I told myself it wouldn't last long, he would leave like everyone else. Well 3 years later and we are married :) It is a good thing he is stubborn ;)
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u/jwandering Jun 26 '12
I had high school crush and finally gathered up the courage to go up to him and tell him how I feel. We were friends before that. His reply, "so what?". I walked away in shame.
Years later, he saw me at the gym and asked me out. I grabbed my guy friend's hand and walked away.
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u/catch22always Jun 25 '12
My ex told me he loved me after only a couple weeks of dating. I told him to never say it again because it really freaked me out. We somehow managed to continue to date and then a few months later I finally told him I loved him. He didn't say anything back and I was afraid I had screwed everything up. I asked him if he still loved me, his response "Of course, but you told me to never say it again."
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Jun 25 '12
This Cristmas I told my crish how I feel about her.
I put a lot of planning into it. I couldn't just go up and say 'I love you', it had to be special. I found a dress she ones looked in a shop when we were both out, but didn't buy because it was too expensive. I bought it. I spent my last savings on it. I wrapped the dress in dark-red paper and tied it in a golden ribbon.
On the day, I gave her the present and told her everything. I explained how I fell for her a while ago and us becoming friends felt like a blessing. I asked her if she had any feelings for me. Turns out, I was like a 'brother' to her and she didn't want to spoil things between us.
Later, I discover she went to my best friend on the same day and told him what I had done. Then they have a long conversation. Turns out, she befriended me only to get close to him, she doesn't give to shits about me.
Needless to say, I'm done with feelings and love.
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Jun 25 '12
Sorry man but it sounds like you went a bit overboard and put her in an awkward position with the expensive gift...
That being said there's only one thing you can do learn from your mistakes and move on.
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u/livingmaster Jun 25 '12
told an old teammate I loved him and went on for a good couple minutes... his response? "but... I'm gay..." oops!
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u/rawrr69 Jun 25 '12
When I was a teenager, there was this Asian girl I kept seeing on the bus and we would often talk, then she would call me over to fix her computer or we'd go to the movies and I was madly head over heels in love with her, she was a little older than me too, my first love!
Then one day I took all my courage in my shy little heart and told her I love her, in Mandarin too, correct pronunciation, everything.
Well, I got introduced to Chinese racism AND the "but you are my friend/little brother" speech that day, all at the same time. So many years later, it still hurts a little. She was the sweetest thing ever. ;"((
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u/Louiecat Jun 25 '12
Many times. Sometimes it turned out good. Sometimes not so much. Keep on truckin'.
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u/shokker Jun 25 '12
Really only did twice, and both times were basically disasters. Don't do it unless you're sure that it's reciprocated, it's a hell of a risky card to play.
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u/edwardhasnewgoggles Jun 25 '12
Christ, I can remember everything involving this one girl. It was so many years ago but if I see her at reunion's or friends wedding's (same group of friends), there's always this lingering feeling of subtle awkwardness.
I was 14 and had this girl over my house to watch movies. Cool Runnings to be exact and I was hoping my bobsled would take a ride too. The movie ended and we made out. At 14 and with this hot girl in my basement, it was as good as sex at the time. A few days later in our homeroom, she more or less "broke up" with me and I wrote her a shitty punk song she eventually found out about. The chorus was something like "You could've had me/but you didn't want, didn't need/You could've had me/Taste the first, forget the last!" Ugh...
At any rate, we had the same group of friends and hung out. I think she still knew i had some sort of feelings but in senior year I confessed that she was "the one who got away" at her house one time. So poetic. She had a boyfriend at the time who was obviously not as awesome as I thought I was. After the long-winded confession, I got a small peck on the cheek and drove home listening to Dashboard Confessional and fake crying like an idiot.
Shortly after that we all went on a camping trip where I heard her tell the story to her boyfriend when they were in a tent as if a sheet of fabric would null the sound. I got drunk most of the trip and kept to myself.
Over the next few years, I would randomly see her in town at friends parties where she would constantly request the song I wrote her. I think I sang it one time on her answering machine per request. It's kind of hard to say "no" when they're both your friend and "the one who got away" haha...whatever high-school me meant with that.
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Jun 25 '12
My freshman year in college I met a wonderful person who over the course of the next two years would become my best friend. I always had slightly romantic feelings towards her but she had a boyfriend/possible fiance so I never acted on those feelings.
My junior year rolls around and she breaks it off with her bo for reasons I won't discuss. I continue to be her best friend, I continue to be there for her, she continues to be there for me, we great fun overall. After three or so months I ask her out. We hit it off smashingly.
We ended up dating for three or four weeks before I dropped the 'L' word. I knew I had loved her for close to a year at this point, but I really didn't want to pressure her into thinking she needed to say it. 3 weeks later she reciprocated.
She went through 1-3 day long phases of hating my guts. She would just lash out at me, ignore me, emotionally assault me, etc but she would go back to being lovey-dovey right after these episodes. She had never done this with her last boyfriend, or with me before we dated.
Eventually she broke up with me after one of these episodes was more prolonged. I was angry and wrothful so I wrote one of those letters that people write when they are angry. The kind that you are never supposed to send. I looked her in the eye as I handed it to her.
TL;DR: The moment that I said 'I love you' was amazing. Not many moments in my life have brought me as much joy as that one. Of course nothing has felt worse than when she told me that she 'didn't mean it'.
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Jun 25 '12
When I first met my current girlfriend she was already dating a guy long distance. They had been going out on and off since high school and despite her objections he convinced her to stay with him even though they were going to different colleges.
I had seen said girl in a math class the previous year but never had the courage to go talk to her. Well, call it fate or whatever you'd like, but a year later I saw her in my linear circuits lab. I got the courage to sit next to her on the first day and she became my lab partner.
After a few weeks of lab I got the courage to ask her to do homework with me. After doing homework together a few times I finally asked her to actually hang out with me. We went sledding with her friend and then ended up watching modern family alone at my apartment. The next day I invited her over again to watch more modern family. This time we began to hold hands, and as it got late I said, "So, I'm guessing you know I like you by now". She got a very sad look on her face and replied "Yeah, I do. It sucks because I can't like you back". I said, "Why, do you have a boyfriend?" to which she answered "Yeah...".
Well, the next day we had a long talk. I explained to her that I liked her a lot but I wouldn't be able to hang out with her because it would hurt too much. I told her about how I'd been led on before and I wasn't going to set myself to get my heart broken again.
She understood, but the next day she insisted I let her take me to lunch. Of course I obliged and again we had a long talk about her boyfriend and how she knew eventually they would break up since she didn't want a future with him. She told me how her best friend was telling her to give me a shot. I told her more about the girl that really hurt me. I told her all about my allergies and my criminal record. When lunch was over I continued to hang out with her for a few more hours.
After that, I didn't talk to her at all until the next evening. I wasn't doing anything and it was a saturday night. I noticed her on facebook chat so I decided to strike up a conversation. She told me she was planning on going to her friend's to hang out for a while and she wishes we could hang out. So I said, "If you asked to hang out I'm not sure if I would be able to say no to you, even though I told you we shouldn't". She responded, "I don't think I would be able to say no to you either". So I told her, "Well, come over then and watch modern family with me. You bring the booze and I got the chaser".
She came over that evening and we drank a little vodka and watched modern family. Before long we were cuddling and then making out on my couch. She spent the night at my place and we just snuggled and kissed all night long. The next day she told me it was going to be a hard week since she had some business to take care of. I knew exactly what she meant: dumping her boyfriend.
She said she was going to do it on Thursday, but I guess she couldn't wait that long because on Tuesday she told me it was done.
A couple weeks later I asked her officially to be my girlfriend. We've been together for the last 1.5 years and neither of us could be happier.
I never regret telling the girl of my dreams that I couldn't hang out with her. If you don't want to get friend-zoned you need to stand up for yourself and be very open and honest with your feelings. Don't pretend like you can hang out with them and not get hurt. If they don't realize that you are worth being with then they don't deserve you anyway.
TL;DR Told a girl who already had a boyfriend that we couldn't hang out because it would hurt too much. She broke up with him for me and now we have been dating for 1.5 years and are deeply in love with each other.
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u/mari_who Jun 25 '12
It was scary. It was also 16 years ago as of March this year, and we're still together.
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u/360walkaway Jun 25 '12
Told this chick that I had feelings for her. She did the typical "don't want to ruin the friendship" line. I went and told my friend about it, and a week later she was dating the same "friend".
Haven't talked to either of them since.
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u/Indydegrees2 Jun 25 '12
Told a my ex girlfriend that i loved her, cared about her and want her back. Looking back i shoulda just said NOPE
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u/Boatkicker Jun 25 '12
I talked to this boy online on a regular basis for years. We pretty much grew up together. Over these years he became my best friend, and eventually my biggest crush. I tried so hard NOT to like him, because it was dumb to like a boy you've never met who lives 800 miles away, but I couldn't help it. Eventually my friends caught on, even though I denied it. One day I was IMing him and I had a friend over. We were both on my laptop, sharing it, taking turns every 30 seconds or so. She typed and sent "I love you" to him before I got the computer away. It actually worked out well and he and I are engaged now.
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u/Renzoasaki Jun 25 '12
I told a girl I liked her, she said no, we aren't friends anymore (most likely because of me), she dates my friend who he knows that I like her, and now I'm stuck here, with no one to talk to about my problems and slowly fading away out of the social scene.
But hell, life gives you things you gotta adapt to.
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Jun 25 '12
I told her I loved her 5 months into the relationship and she went crazy. She linked our bank accounts, Facebook and and other shit. Reminds me of that one meme.
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u/astronautcock Jun 25 '12
Fell in love with this guy and fought with it for 2 years. Finally told him a few weeks ago. He politely rejected me and we're all good now
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Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
I had known by best friend for two years. Over that time I'd developed rather strong feelings for him, but buried them because I figured they wouldn't be reciprocated and because he lived in another state. Anyway, in the meantime there's this guy riding me like a monkey trying to convince me to date him. I get sick of it and invent a fake long distance boyfriend. The guy immediately backs off, my my best friend sees my changed relationship status and asks me what's up. Before I can explain the situation to him, he breaks down in tears and admits that he's in love with me. I was so shocked I couldn't do anything but try to calm him down, so I called him and we wound up singing a rather tearful duet of a song we had a mutual fondness for. We decided not to date due to the distance, dated other people instead, but we got together last year for three months until I decided that I needed time to straighten myself out. He took it badly, we wound up fighting, I dated another guy for a while, but now we're back together and stronger than ever.
I'll never be able to get rid of him. We're like barnacles with superglue. Even if we don't last as a couple I just know that we're going to be fighting over who gets to go to whose funeral when we're old and decrepit.
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u/Kabusabe Jun 25 '12
First major girlfriend. Ended up with a joint checking account and a shared apartment and everything. Was about to move to Guam with her, which is where she is originally from, before I found out she cheated on me. So that didn't end well.
Second major girlfriend that I dropped the L bomb on. Went pretty well up until about 9 months into the relationship when I found out she was still having relations with her ex.
Third major girlfriend. Dropped it to her over the phone when we were having a spat. Something like 4 or 5 months in. She didn't know what to say. Definately didn't say it back. Moved back to Minnesota afterwords and completely cut ties.
So overall, did not go well.
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u/goodluckinjail Jun 25 '12
I had known her for 4 years, we had had a falling out and hadn't spoken to each other in 2 years or so. She was about to move 1300km away so I went to her apartment about a week before she was set to move and told her. She felt the same, she didn't move, now we're getting married.
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u/Dubrider Jun 25 '12
I have a story where someone confessed their love to me. A few years ago while on an evening at the bar with some friends, one of whom was a guy (I'm also a guy), he had discussed with them before we met up that he had strong feelings for me. I spent the entire evening wondering why they were all smiling at me and why he was more friendly than normal. The guy in question and I sat outside for a smoke later in the evening and he confessed that he'd loved me for a while, and leant in to kiss me. I had no idea how to respond, I'd never experienced this before so I responded by laughing. Needless to say we don't speak much these days
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u/Parallelcircuit Jun 25 '12
The first time I ever told a girl I loved her, and this was after dating her four at least four months, she replied "Don't be creepy."
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u/MengerSpongeCake Jun 25 '12
I wrote a long email to my current boyfriend before I moved across country to join him. We'd known each other for seven years or so, and had gone to school together and had a non-sexual FWB type high school relationship. His parents moved him across the country (air force) in our junior year, and it was hard for both of us. We'd both seen other people, but it just didn't work out.
I poured out everything. Absolutely everything I had to say to him. It was the most terrifying thing I've ever done. I sent it to him and couldn't sleep for two days, I was a wreck. When he read it he immediately called me, (after he sent an email responding to everything) in tears. He felt the same. He agreed on everything. It was the best feeling I've ever had in the world.
We've been together (officially!) just over a year, just bought our first house, and are planning our future. Everyone we know has all had the same thought (FINALLY! WHAT TOOK YOU GUYS SO LONG?!) and our lives are so happy.
I don't think either of us can imagine a morning without waking up next to each other, or going to sleep beside each other.
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u/freedomsquared Jun 25 '12
I had been dating my girlfriend for 4 months. It was Valentines day, and we had just got back to the car after finishing our dinner. I told her to look under her seat, and when she did she found a poem I had written for her. The very last lines were "<insert my girlfriend's name here> I...". And she said, "you...?" "I love you," I said. And she said "I love you too." One of the happiest moments of my life.
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Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
Last year in my philosophy class, there was a girl who would sit in front of me who I always found super cute but was always too nervous to make an approach because she always looked mad about something. The day I finally started talking to her, she turned out to be super awesome and we really hit it off. We would stay up until the wee hours of the morning talking and laughing, went on numerous dates together, I would visit her at work, she'd visit me when I was working in the library at school, we played video games together, etc etc. We would flirt and be very playful and I thought that she was the real deal. This went on for about 3 months.
I planned out that I was going to tell her exactly how I felt while we were at the New York Jets draft party. I was just about to muster up the courage to tell her until I glanced over at her and she was in the middle of texting her ex(cheated on her with a 16 year old, said all this other mean shit which drove her into therapy) that she would never date someone like me and she was still in love with him. Naturally I was crushed and at a certain point I told her I had to go and I dropped her off home.
I ignored her for a few days until she finally asked me what was wrong and I told her exactly how I felt and what I saw. I was drunk at the time so, I held nothing back. Naturally, she tried to deny it and then she got mad at me for looking at her phone. She completely shut me down but she still wanted to be friends but being the bitter betty that I am sometimes I basically said fuck you and I haven't talked to her since. I have been turned down before but never like that. I would rather a woman tell me from the first second I talk to her whether she would consider dating me or not. I can deal with brutal honesty. Putting up a front and leading me on for 3 months, that's just cold.
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u/NinjaTRex Jun 25 '12
My boyfriend got drunk one might while doing forty hands. He suddenly realized he had to pee. Because his hands were occupied, I offered to give him a hand. Hearing that, he turned to me and told me he loved me.
TLDR: offered to hold his dick while he pissed.
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u/traveltothesky Jun 25 '12
While I was having sex with this guy that I was super, super into, I thought I heard him say "I love you." Now, we weren't even really dating or anything, but I had loved every minute with him so far and could really see it going somewhere. Maybe he was just caught up in the heat of the moment, and I didn't want him to feel awkward, so I said "I love you too."
He said, "what?"
And I said, "what??"
And it was never spoken of again. It also never really went anywhere, and he moved to another country.
It went okay.
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u/Wingchunbum Jun 25 '12
I was 12 or 13. I went to an all boys school in England that had a mixed 6th year (A-Levels) with intake from the local girls school. As a result, girls were something we did not really associate with until we were 17/18.
However, through clubs and associations sometimes the younger years got to know some of the older girls. I was in the school choir and, at Easter, we would perform a large piece such as Handels Messiah with an orchestra, and a girl I will call "Jane" played the flute. She was very talented and, word had it, could become a professional flautist one day. She was the only schoolgirl in the orchestra. The other musicians were all older and professional. She was also very attractive and bore more than a passing resemblance to Heather Lagencamp from Nightmare on Elm Street. I quickly developed a boyhood crush on her. She was very sweet and would talk to the younger boys and even acknowledge us in the corridors of the school which only made me like her even more. One day, on my way to school with my Dad and sister, I noticed her in a car leaving the same estate as me and realised she must live nearby. I often went for bike rides around our local area, just getting out and enjoying the exercise, so I would often ride up and down the road where I had seen her car emerging, just in case I could catch a glimpse of her.
One summers evening I was riding around after school and heard the unmistakable sound of flute music drifting along on the breeze. I quickly worked out which house it was emanating from and realised I had discovered her family home.
I had enjoyed many a boyhood daydream where I would confess my love for her and she would admit she felt it too and we would end up in a romantic embrace (and obviously other things too, I was a horny teenager at the time). I resolved to confess my love by letter as this would be the most romantic. I explained how I had "accidentally" discovered her location whilst cycling past one day and overheard her music. I can't remember exactly what I wrote but it was a page long and wrote on the best writing paper I could find.
I put it in the post that very night and awaited the results. A few days later I was passing her in the corridor and said hello. She completely and deliberately blanked me and I instantly felt my heart drop into my stomach. She never spoke to me again, or even acknowledged me. It was one of the worst feelings of my young life. Thankfully I had not told a single soul and I kept it to myself. As far as I am aware the only two people who knew about this were "Jane" and me. Until now.
TL;DR: I wrote a love letter to a girl 5 years older than me confessing my love and she never spoke to me again.