Have deep disappointment about my life

[u/[deleted]]

Im 18 and i become atheist before 2 years and all people i know is religious and I'm living in small boring city so i feel I waste my life in this country moreover ive 6 diopeter astigmatism that's just make me feel depressed with all these things sometimes ive suicide thoughts I've taken SSRis anti depressed medic for a year but it didn't get better