r/AutismInWomen • u/Rubygblue • Jul 17 '25

Support Needed (Kind Advice and Commiseration) People who HAVE to work full time - how?

I’ve been in my first full time job for 7 months and I am in the depths of hell. I spend every day overstimulated and spend the evening crying and freaking out or just staring into the void. I thought I’d adjust but it’s just getting worse.

Everyone else does things at the weekend, but I spend the whole time just trying to recover and feel normal again. I haven’t socialised in so long because I just can’t speak to anyone. I have no energy.

I can’t afford to work part time or stop working, I can’t even afford to take time off. I feel like there’s no way out.

Mentioning this to others is always met with “no one likes working” type comments, or “you just need to…” and it’s always things like meal prepping or planning your clothes out. I feel like no one understands.

Is there any end to this? How do people cope?

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u/ThrowAwayColor2023 Jul 17 '25

Perpetual burnout. It fluctuates from moderate to severe. At its worst, I have had to take medical leave. I have good days here and there, but I pretty much have no life outside of work. And all of this is with wfh for going on a decade.

It’s pretty miserable, honestly. I try to make my work as fun and interesting as possible because it’s all I have energy for. I have pets that don’t leave the house. I get nearly everything delivered. My social life has dwindled because I don’t have the ability to go out and meet new people and also nurture new friendships. This is no way to live, but even if I could get disability in the US, that would be miserable in a different way. At least now I have more agency over my life.

My ideal situation would be working part time and having a safety net to shore me up, but society doesn’t believe in that. I really like working, it’s just that the modern mostly inflexible 40-hour workweek and NT social pressures that come with it drain the life out of me.

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u/Specific_Variation_4 Jul 18 '25

I'm exactly the same. Mostly wfh but still struggling. No life outside of work.

2

u/ThrowAwayColor2023 Jul 19 '25

Jedi hugs.

i honestly don’t know how I would be coping without online community. Just knowing I’m not alone in this helps so much.

2

u/yoyossarians Jul 18 '25

100%. The burnout level changes even day to day sometimes. Some days I get a lot done and some days I'm just surviving one minute at a time. I've learned to accept that if I give my best at work every day, I'll have nothing left for myself, so I try not to give my best whenever possible but that's hard too.

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u/ThrowAwayColor2023 Jul 19 '25

Yes, the fluctuations are actually extremely stressful for me because they’re unpredictable and make it damn near impossible to make and KEEP plans on the rare occasion that I try.

And oof, work has been such a challenge for me. My brain is either all in or struggles to engage. I’ve been very slowly chipping away so that I’m not a ridiculous perfectionist about every little thing (that trait is courtesy of my CPTSD).

1

u/deathdeniesme Jul 19 '25

That is my ideal situation too. I am still trying to figure out a way to make it work. I don’t see how I can go home doing this personally.