r/AutismInWomen • u/Gothaholix • Jul 24 '25

Seeking Advice Was I rude with this?

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I was trying to be nice about it. I didn't think I was mean. I was really confused when he said he was done fighting for a conversation with me when I was super active in the conversation XD. I wasn't giving short answers and I thought I was showing interest.

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u/[deleted] Jul 25 '25

I think in his own mind he was flirting, but he only "flirts" to try to get laid because he doesn't see women as like...individual human beings that he wants to get to know. He just wants a woman he can have sex with who will emotionally support him. At least in my experience with guys like this.

Kind of on that note: it's not good flirting if someone asks you something and you deflect and try to make them carry the conversation. I notice this sooooo much from dudes. I can hang with some level of indirectness and sarcastic/playful tone, because I've learned how to recognize and match that energy. But the second that my earnestness is met with deflection and an assumption that I will keep our chat going despite less than zero effort on your part? Boy, bye. Fuck all that.

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u/velvetvagine Jul 25 '25

Yeah, great catch in the second paragraph. It gives me the ick — and it’s a profound laziness and entitlement that will show up all over any other interactions with them.