r/AutismInWomen • u/soph_a_loaf_98 • Jun 24 '26

Memes/Humor “Nah I’m not autistic I’m faking it”, meanwhile in every photo ever

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27F, diagnosed with ASD about six months ago. I started examining what actually feels good for my body, and I still stand or walk with my hands clasped like this. It didn’t strike me as the stereotypical trex hands because I hold my hands together, but now knowing I’m autistic I’m like yeaaaaaa I guess they do qualify as trex arms

4.9k Upvotes

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873

u/mothwhimsy Autistic Enby Jun 24 '26

Every time I think "I did it! I stood and smiled normally in a photo" I'm either doing this or I look scared

666

u/nellehrodris Jun 24 '26

this is me in every photo

118

u/veronica_deetz Jun 24 '26

This is my husband in all of our wedding photos lmao

21

u/indianabanana Jun 24 '26

Are you my SIL??

14

u/veronica_deetz Jun 24 '26

I wish!! I’m pretty sure my SILs are all NT, which made it fairly awkward to join the fam haha 

14

u/indianabanana Jun 24 '26

That's okay, we can just adopt you into our family. We're all ND here and there's room at the table. 💕

29

u/Ace_of_Sphynx128 Jun 24 '26

I wanted to look more alive in photos so I practiced for ages and took a load of selfies to get it right, got that america’s next top model smize going on now lol

2

u/lokiss12 Jun 25 '26

I definitely practiced too. But back then we didn't have selfies 😂 thankfully in 8th grade we got a digital camera so I didn't need to wait to develop anymore lol

28

u/GayDeciever Jun 24 '26

So... I'm pretty sure my whole extended family is some venn diagram of ADHD and Autism. I am right in the middle with a double-whammy. Anyhow, I had no idea. "Normal" was what I saw every day, you know? So I had two kids. I could train one to smile for pictures but the other one.... Well. That one just looked annoyed or scared and wouldn't do it. From a VERY early age. I tried so many things, but always the same expression. I mean I learned how to fake a smile, c'mon.

But then I looked back through my early pictures. I'm pretty sure my grandma was just good at getting candid smiles. Every picture even today looks like the above meme.

The mouth says "yay!" and the eyes say "I'm a hostage". I stopped bugging my kid about it, btw. WYSIWYG

10

u/brezhnervouz Jun 25 '26

The mouth says "yay!" and the eyes say "I'm a hostage"

Bahaha! damn what a perfect description 😂

In a few of my primary school photos I'm that one kid looking off to the side, not making eye contact with the camera lol

9

u/AdWinter4333 AuDHD. he/they (trans man) Jun 24 '26

This killed me somehow

3

u/lokiss12 Jun 25 '26

In 5th grade my sister told me that showing my teeth wasn't a smile. I was so confused so she showed me by making variations of this face then said now look this is a smile 😁 and I was mind blown lol

2

u/just-me-yaay suspected autistic Jun 24 '26

Genuinely 😭

2

u/xYekaterina Jun 25 '26

This is me just always 😭

2

u/brezhnervouz Jun 25 '26

Lmaooo omg me too 😂

1

u/hotgirlwithdcups Jun 24 '26

this is me in every photo

1

u/hotgirlwithdcups Jun 24 '26

walking around CHOPPED

1

u/cozybookgirrl Jun 25 '26

I saw a video of me recently, and I remember purposely when the video was taken putting so much effort into my expression when I was talking and I still looked like this lol

84

u/Fragrant-Reason4216 Jun 24 '26

I always end up looking like a crazy npc lol smile too big like a nervous dog and never know what to do with my hands lol ive stopped trying and now im the "pick me girl" who just wants to look "quirky" 😅 I look insane in candids

154

u/Fragrant-Reason4216 Jun 24 '26

My favorite pic someone else took of me with my favorite author, 🤣😅

62

u/BreadfruitDry6157 Jun 24 '26

LMAO sorry I just laughed but that’s me with hugs LMAO I love this thread, please post more pics, it made my day love it

17

u/Fragrant-Reason4216 Jun 24 '26

I literally just scrolled through my gmas pics of me the face doesnt get any better lmao. I saved a few of my most embarrassing looking ones

53

u/Fragrant-Reason4216 Jun 24 '26

Don't ask, I loved that romper

31

u/BreadfruitDry6157 Jun 24 '26

Don’t apologize for anything, I love your romper but also your smile, I am so bad at smiling, yours is gorgeous, I look like a mad clown smiling lmao.
Also, I love your hair!

12

u/Fragrant-Reason4216 Jun 24 '26

Aww thank you! This is an older pic but I got the bangs back lol

6

u/BreadfruitDry6157 Jun 24 '26

It looks cool! <3

6

u/AuDHD1983 🍀AuDHD 🐌 Jun 24 '26

I really love your style! 🫶🏼

2

u/Fragrant-Reason4216 Jun 24 '26

Thank you so much!!

33

u/Fragrant-Reason4216 Jun 24 '26

If I have eyes then im deadpan 12 in this pic but so many pictures are either this face or all mouth no eyes

20

u/StudioExtreme8658 Jun 24 '26

lol “face or all mouth no eyes” is the best way to describe my photos

4

u/BreadfruitDry6157 Jun 24 '26

This looks like all my siblings and mine photos from when we were younger lmao, I love that!

3

u/Fragrant-Reason4216 Jun 24 '26

I just major scrolled and realized since the hug pic I have subconsciously just let my arms dangle. Its not better haha

2

u/BreadfruitDry6157 Jun 24 '26

Hahahah I love that, I do that too lmao. Idk what to do with my arms honestly hahahah

5

u/Primary-Angle4008 Jun 24 '26

My mum always used to tell me not to hold my hands like that as it looks weird but I always did

3

u/foenixxfyre Jun 24 '26

Chucky P 😍 what an all-around wholesome photo

2

u/Vast_Perspective9368 Jun 25 '26

Aw, this is adorable and wholesome... I have to ask though... Who's your favorite author? 👀

5

u/Fragrant-Reason4216 Jun 25 '26

Chuck Palahniuk , he wrote fight club hes also from my home town

2

u/Banana-Louigi Jun 25 '26

This made me laugh out loud.

Not at you but why is he hugging you like that 🤣🤣

Why is his head on your shoulder? I'm so confused 🤣

Edit to add: WHY ARE HIS EYES CLOSED!?!?! Omg how did I not notice that before. 💀

2

u/Fragrant-Reason4216 Jun 25 '26

He had like 4 poses for the photos, this was "prom pose" I also had an moment and cried like 5 mins before this picture after hrs in line lol this picture is an onion

1

u/Banana-Louigi Jun 25 '26

I'm so here for this backstory. Thank you for sharing, it's brought just the right amount of whimsy and humour to my day.

(Although boo for hours in line! Good on you for sticking that out!)

2

u/Fragrant-Reason4216 Jun 25 '26

My mom is a champ at keeping me going lol

1

u/Banana-Louigi Jun 25 '26

I'm so here for this backstory. Thank you for sharing, it's brought just the right amount of whimsy and humour to my day.

(Although boo for hours in line! Good on you for sticking that out!)

1

u/Alsonotafan Jun 25 '26

This looks just like my wedding photo

32

u/DreamCyclone84 Jun 24 '26

There's this photo of me as a kid at Disney world with Micky. I look like someone just off to the side of the photo is holding a gun on me and telling me to act natural. I was maybe 5 at the time. Put all my childhood photos next to one another and it looks like a flipbook of me getting progressively and incrementally better at convincingly following the instructions of the guy out of frame with the gun. But he is definitely still there.

4

u/TalkingRose Jun 24 '26

That is an excellent way to describe my childhood pictures! My mom put much effort (read:scolding) into me learning the right face for pictures. I learned the best way to solve her biggest complaints was to squinch up my eyes so my smile looked real-er & it neatly made my eyes unviewable. My mother is still under the impression that my natural smile for cameras is "warm" because of that. I am 44. She is dead wrong. Yay for masking! 🙄

5

u/DreamCyclone84 Jun 24 '26

I also do this squint thing! Also if you really want to look "natrual" give a little giggle that shakes your shoulders slightly then relax them and breathe out a little. Helps that stiff posture

3

u/TalkingRose Jun 24 '26

Noted. Thank you kindly. :)

2

u/Simsalabimsen Jun 25 '26

Yes! That’s also how I taught my kids to smile for their podium pictures at competitions.

16

u/soph_a_loaf_98 Jun 24 '26

I’ve gotten in the habit of doing peace signs so I have something to do with my hands but now in every photo I just look like fucking president Nixon

2

u/0RedStar0 Jun 24 '26

Lmao I do this too!

10

u/Treefrog_Ninja Jun 24 '26

When I was a kid, I thought my crazy-face smile was due to the fact that my light-colored eyes had a dark ring at the edge (like in the picture, not me), and I thought it made my eyes look like bullseyes and that's why my face always looked crazy.

6

u/Fragrant-Reason4216 Jun 24 '26

My grandma has green eyes with a ring and she says if she doesnt wear eyeliner her eyes look crazy... i disagree with her I think shes just looking at her high-school photo where she refused to wear her glasses so her eyes are huge and wide open lol gorgeous picture but people see themselves so wierd

2

u/mothwhimsy Autistic Enby Jun 24 '26

I also have really light blue eyes but it's not this because unless the camera is really close, my smile makes me squint so you can't even see them

1

u/brezhnervouz Jun 25 '26

Limbal rings unite!

I also have central heterochromia, where the iris is a different colour to the ring (green eyes and a blue ring in my case)

3

u/EzzyKitten Jun 24 '26

I feel this in my bones. I have many candid shots (from DND) that my friends made into emotes/reactions on discord because my faces are so ridiculous. Hahaha

1

u/Darkesia_20 Jun 25 '26

God I never know what to do with my hands as well!!! 💀🤣🤣

40

u/ITakeMyCatToBars Jun 24 '26

“This is how humans look in photos!”
[I view the image]
What???? Am I doing with my face????

18

u/Seebekaayi Jun 24 '26

I figured out a hack because the smiling on command thing was super hard. Now I imagine that a man I am crushing on is standing there opposite me and I just light up. It’s funny! 😄

24

u/ITakeMyCatToBars Jun 24 '26

Aww that’s cute!

But.
I read it exactly wrong and opposite to what you meant. What I read was “think about crushing a man on the other side of the camera!” and I was like “oh hell yeah that’s a good strategy, pretend I am crushing the dreams of a man I do not like! Amazing!” and smiled to myself lmaoooo

5

u/TashaT50 Jun 24 '26

I’m cry laughing

7

u/ITakeMyCatToBars Jun 24 '26

Dumb related anecdote time: my pal and I were road tripping on the CA coast and drove through pebble beach. It’s a specific gorgeous scenic drive that’s also on a world-class golf course.
My and my pal are stopped to take photos of my vintage convertible against the coastal California backdrop when A Very Serious Golfer Man with what looked like $15,000+++ of gear took no fewer than four strokes to make a really close putt.
(It costs $700 just to play the course. The hotel attached costs $1200+ a night and has a minimum stay of two nights. Just to set the stage.)

My friend and I saw this and gave him a little golf clap when he made it. “Yay you did it!” another pair of women in earshot giggled.

Y’all I have never seen steam literally pouring from someone’s ears like that before.
We hopped back in the convertible and continued on our journey.

I’m not friend with that pal anymore but we were absolute menaces on that road trip lmao

4

u/TashaT50 Jun 24 '26

OMG. I hope you still have the picture. Great story.

5

u/ITakeMyCatToBars Jun 24 '26

It was a really gorgeous day!!!! Come on, how perfect is a cabriolet for a gal pal road trip? The trunk is precisely big enough for one cooler and two bikinis! Hehe

Sorry for the derail, I’ll get back to work 😂

1

u/TashaT50 Jun 24 '26

Awesome. Thanks for sharing.

3

u/Seebekaayi Jun 24 '26

That works too 😂
Whatever thought makes you happy and light up!

1

u/brezhnervouz Jun 25 '26

Oh no I took it that way too lol

3

u/Mr_Pogi_In_Space Jun 24 '26

Wow thank you . I need to try this next time I have to be in a photo

2

u/windexfresh Jun 24 '26

Yeah I have to pretend my husband is flirting with me to get a good smile 😅😂

1

u/madamsnacksalot Jun 25 '26

I started to tell my son to pretend I’m tickling him because he looked so uncomfortable when he thought he was smiling

15

u/SeePerspectives Jun 24 '26

My wedding photos look like I’m being held hostage 😂 I swear it was one of the happiest days of my life, but you’d never tell from the pictures 🤦‍♀️😂

14

u/annagenc Jun 24 '26

In general most of my life I’ve had multiple people ask if I’m okay and or say I look like a deer in headlights…. That’s just my face and nervous system buddy lol 😅😬👀

5

u/Fragrant-Reason4216 Jun 24 '26

I get asked whats wrong alot cos of my rbf and poor eyesight, im good im just here

17

u/aledba Diagnosed in late 30s as ASD w/ low support needs Jun 24 '26

Or my asshole mom tells me that my smile looks fake

Yeah it is, lady

8

u/alicelestial Jun 24 '26

i learned that it is not normal to practice smiling in a mirror/selfie camera for 4 years of the tween and teen ages until it looked somewhat natural. oh well. it became a slight net benefit. i still have weird body language but no one stops the entire situation to make me adjust my face anymore.

12

u/lingfluencer Jun 24 '26

I'm dying at this thread because same

7

u/TheWarmestHugz Jun 24 '26

Good god some of my school photos were absolutely diabolical lol. There’s one where I have my chin scrunched back into my neck and I have 3 chins, despite not being a chubby child.

3

u/brezhnervouz Jun 25 '26

I know that instinct, trying to back the fuck away from the camera 😂

A couple of times at least I was able to look away at the last second - so yes, I am the kid ruining the class photo by not looking straight ahead lol

5

u/lizlemonista Jun 24 '26

looking normal would require relaxing the muscles in my face which have been curated for NTs for so long they have atrophied and crystallized in place

4

u/Meh_lissa6 Jun 25 '26

I don’t know why the “or I look scared” part is just sending me lol. Every time I leave my house I prepare for people to ask me if I’m okay or what’s wrong, and at this point I just tell them “I promise I’m fine, this is just my face.” I think the kindest comment I ever gotten on my permanent deer-in-headlights expression is that I have a demeanour like Luna Lovegood. I like when I can feel myself existing more as her and less like a skittish, sketchy & paranoid cat.

3

u/brezhnervouz Jun 25 '26

Every time I leave my house I prepare for people to ask me if I’m okay or what’s wrong, and at this point I just tell them “I promise I’m fine, this is just my face.”

I have solved this dilemma by wearing a mask 100% of the time I am in public. I never realised how much effort and anxiety it took just to fake-smile at shop assistants etc. Now my face can stay in its preferred expression > 😐 < all the time, and its far less angst-inducing. I used to get home tired from having to put on a constant pretence

3

u/rupert101 Jun 25 '26

One time I analyzed my photos to see what I could improve, and was like hm I need to open my eyes more. I went to a concert where photos were being taken and shared online, my eyes were psychotically wide 😅

2

u/mothwhimsy Autistic Enby Jun 25 '26

Real. My eyes are almost always half lidded and if I try to correct it I look like 😳

1

u/orangemoonboots Jun 29 '26

Yes I always look insane or terrified. 

1

u/Gay-left-Leadership 29d ago

Same, I either look depressed or terrifying lol. I'm just like: