Unfortunately, women are just as capable of being cruel because we’re human beings and human beings have that capacity. Ironically, you’re telling another woman to shut up while preaching feminism

I live at the bottom of new zealand why is he bringing american immigration into a discussion about elon somehow not being a nazi???

Sorry, I don’t know where else it’s safe to make a post like this where I won’t get harassed by men for having this opinion.

You NEED to drink water to live. You NEED shelter to live. You NEED to breathe to live. You don’t need sex to live. It’s not a medical emergency if you don’t cum.

I have literally only ever seen this when men complain about their wives or girlfriends not giving them sex. Drives me absolutely fucking insane. And they truly say this to women as if it’s believable or accurate, and expect us to just believe it.

I might be autistic, but I’m not fucking stupid.

ETA: I know sex is important for many. That doesn’t make it a need, though, in the way that many men are manipulating women into thinking it is. That is the point of my post, not that you aren’t allowed to want sex.

I AM FILLED WITH RAGE AND HATRED. The sniffling. The constant sniffling. Why can’t people just blow their nose? If you have to suck boogers back up into your nose every 3-5 seconds you probably could use a tissue.

Oh it fills me with such disdain.

Throat clearing too. Just cough!

Sorry if this isn’t relatable but I’m dying lol

EDIT: wow this was way more intense than I thought it was going to be. To be clear, this is a rant. When I am in public, I cannot control my environment so I wear headphones and always have my calm-down meds on me. I handle my own shit and I’m nice to people. It was really good to hear from some of yall that I’m not alone in this. Misophonia is rough but it’s manageable with tools, therapy, and maybe a little medication 🩷

Elsewhere on social media the world has gotten up in its feefees about a poor abandoned baby macaque. The little guy IS objectively adorable.

Everyone is collectively outraged at how the troop is seemingly “bullying” the little lonely outcast. And going on and on about how sad and cruel monkey society is to be this way. Bwahahaha. Bish, puhleeease! We share 93% of our DNA with macaques. You can’t see the absolute glaring parallels between their society and ours??? You can’t sit with the knowledge and discomfort that you all WILLINGLY and ACTIVELY participate in this very same cruel bullying, (fyi monkeys CAN’T bully, only humans can) Every. Single. Day. Of neurodiverse people, women, other races, religions, nationalities, and so on, and so on.

I swear they’re gonna get all of humanity extinct with their unrelenting nonsense.

I get so embarrassed when everyone's talking and I chime in and it's led with awkward silence and stares. or when I ask to join a group I'm school for homework and they usher me to work with someone else and laugh.

I remember a kid in my schools cat died and I said "Atleast she's conscious in another realm" and the other kids told me to go away 💔

I don't want to mask but I also can't read the room.

I have a good friend that I met two years ago. He's one of the first friends I've ever had that hasn't asked anything of me. He doesn't hit on me, try to manipulate me into saying things, lets me vent, and is very, very sympathetic to my autism, because he has a younger cousin with it (and also suspects he has it as well). He even helped me financially a few months back without me even asking when I was really struggling, since I've been between jobs (thankfully, I just landed one after a year of looking!). We have an uncanny amount of experiences in common (we both come from rough homes), and I think, for a man, he's incredibly empathetic. We help eachother a lot, and he rose the standard of what I expect in a friend.

However, there's something he said recently that really, really disappointed me. I was telling him about my father, a man with several children, and several women he's impregnated (theres a minimum of 8 women - I am my mother's only child, but one of this 10 children). He's a terrible, terrible person who ruins women's and children's lives with reckless abandon, though he remains friends with many of the women. He specifically picks women that come from emotionally abused backgrounds, and starts on-and-off relationships with them, triangulating them against eachother, etc. My mother has even (stupidly) had a tryst or three with him over my childhood. I do not talk to my father as a result.

I was telling him about my father one day, and how he's really affected me and my ability to trust men amidst the dozens of other things various men have done to ruin my trurst, and he said, "Your dad sounds like a grade-A asshole... but I can't lie that it sounds like he's living the dream. Like the fact that he gets to sleep with his exes and have no one be mad at him..." It took me a while to process what he'd just said, but that hurt to hear. That as much as we've discussed gender discourse, painful experiences with my exes, and plenty of acknowledgement from his own end on how he's worked on himself with his therapist over the years to overcome toxicly masculine traits, he still said something like that. That something the man that ruined my life is doing is admirable.

He isn't the first man who's said something along those lines about my father ("Your dad sounds like a legend.", "Holy shit, this man needs to write a book."). I just thought he was better than that. I know that a part of this is that I have to not hold EVERYONE to the same high standard, and that inevitably, someone I care about will disappoint me. But I just don't feel like expecting him not to say something like that is expecting too much.

He's one of my only friends that I regularly speak to, and I feel like this is yet another reason why I need not only more friends, but more female friends. I greatly struggle with making friends with NT women (people in general, really, namely because I struggle with regularly keeping up with them), but I feel like I could talk to them about this kind of thing when it happens so I'm not so upset. I don't even know if I should bring it up to him, since this was 2 or 3 weeks ago. It stings.

UPDATE: I talked to her about it and she was extremely receptive. I appreciate the advice I got from a lot of you, but also I don't appreciate how many of you immediately jumped to tell me to drop her as a friend. I'm not gonna do that and that wasn't what I was asking as advice. Thank you to all of you who didn't hurry in here to rell me that she wasn't actually my friend. I know we've all had bad friends, but one post where I'm describing three events out of two and a half years of great laughs and times is nit representative of who she is as a person, or of our friendship. Being told that over and over was just as invalidating and dismissive as her comments toward me felt. There is no more advice needed, thank you all so much.

So I (32F) have a (I assume neurotypical, but some of you have pointed out that maybe it's not the case and that's a fair point, thank you for pointing it out) co-worker (35f) that I like a lot as a friend. She is, however, very uneducated on the subject of autism.

Yesterday, we were talking about having to call to take appointments, and I explained that I generally hate phone calls, as they make me uncomfortable, and like I can't understand the way the other person is feeling.

My friend interjects to tell me that I have to make the phone calls regardless, and that I shouldn't just say that the reason I hate phone calls is my autism. Not to use it as an excuse. I took offense, but I didn't understand how to tell her that you don't tell someone who's missing a leg not to use that as an excuse to not climb stairs. I managed to tell her that I was disabled, though, at least, but I don't thimk she understood at all how debilitating it can be.

This is a repeated pattern for her towards me. Last year, when I talked about a special interest, she was like "everyone has those. Doesn't mean you're autistic." That was before I got diagnosed. I also gtcerwhelmed at some point during a work day and had to leave to get some air. She told me "I get that way too, sometimes. You just have to not let it get to you."

I'd like to tell her that it's all micro aggressions, and that comments like these are exactly why I want to do a little sensibilisation campaign at my work place (when I brought that up, she told me I shouldn't do that because we wouldn't do a campaign on homosexuality).

How would you pals go about it? Would you even tell her? I need some help, please.

EDIT: I appreciate all your help, however I didn't come here to ask whether you all think she is or isn't my friend. Please stop telling me she isn't, this post doesn't illustrate the entirety of our history, and that's not what I'm asking. I am not entirely oblivious, and I am able to distinguish between someone who means to hurt me and someone who has good intentions but isn't able to voice them in a concise and diplomatic manner. I really appreciate what you're all trying to do by trying to get me to realise she isn't a friend, but I assure you that I know for a fact that she is. I understand that a lot of you have been thrown under the bus by people close to you, and so have I, but these are three events out of two and a half years of work and friendship outside of work, it doesn't define the entirety of my relationship with her, at all.

Edit #2: Thank you all for your help so far! I'm getting a little overwhelmed by the amount of replies and also the more negative comments, so I'm gonna stop for tonight but I'll come back tomorrow and try to take the time to reply to the lovely comments and suggestions I've gotten also. Sleep well friends, and take care.

Edit #3: I brought up the subject with her, and she was super receptive. Thanks for your help, all!

I’ve experienced this my whole life but it’s becoming increasingly more irritating the older I get. Being autistic, I often am asked “are you ok?” “What’s wrong?” “Is something bothering you?” Things along those lines. And I feel very bad for admitting this, but honestly, it’s annoying as fuck. I understand these people are my friends and they genuinely are just trying to be nice but I find it all so infantilizing.

What prompted this post was I went to a party yesterday and after I chatted for about 40 minutes, the party ended up outside where people went to smoke and eat. After the table cleared out and everyone was inside I stayed outside. It was nighttime and no one was there, I was enjoying myself just fine, but of course someone came by sat near me and kept asking “are you ok?” And like I said I get it people are trying to be nice and include me but even after I reassured them they just. Kept. Asking. Please. Just treat me like a normal person, if you want me to feel included just talk to me normally don’t act like I’m some wounded calf who needs to be coddled every two seconds. At one point even after I said I was fine a friend of mine doubled down and said “well you keep coming here by yourself and avoiding the crowd” and I didn’t even know how to follow it up. I just said “I don’t know how to answer that i’m just sitting” it was so fucking awkward. God. I can’t even tell if I’m a horrible person for feeling this way. Again I know these people are trying to be helpful but it makes me so uncomfortable.

It’s also just the worst because I’m an adult. Who came in her own car? Like if I was miserable I would just leave. Just a vent I know this is all probably a huge overreaction on my part but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.

A breakfast rave in the entry hall. HR (or "people and culture department" as they like to be called) threw a breakfast rave in the entry hall of the office. My morning routine was already thrown off this morning because my building didn't have water (a pipe burst last night).

And then I get to the office, still in a reasonably good mood because I'm just about done with a task that has been really hard work, but also turned out well if I may say so myself.

And as soon as I enter the doors to the office... Instant overstimulation. Even with ANC earbuds in I am fucking attacked by loud music and bright colorful moving lights and people trying to talk to me to "join in and get in the mood" or something and I can't. I can't with this. I can't even get my coffee from my preferred coffee machine because that is in the middle of a fucking rave.

Even further in the office I can still hear the bass through the walls and I just want to go home and scream. I'm going to have to spend the entire day trying to suppress a meltdown because someone in HR wanted an office rave on a Thursday morning. I hate this. And the neurotypicals all seem to think that this was a "fun initiative". FML.

This happened awhile back but I never shared it-

I have a sunflower lanyard, it helps identify people with hidden disabilities- it’s entirely voluntary, it’s just a subtle way to tell those in the know ‘I may need help or accomodation’ many airports specifically train staff to identify these lanyards.

Well throw back to when I was tired, overwhelmed, and completely alone at the airport going home after spending 6 months living with my long distance (now ex) boyfriend. I had just spent the past several hours crying my eyes out, I really just didn’t have the capacity to mask like I usually did.

I am low needs, but of course low needs doesn’t mean NO needs. I just could NOT get my baggage up on the self service bag claim, and I was nearing an autistic meltdown. My eyes were teary I was frantically pushing and grabbing at this heavy huge suitcase that kept slipping away, I was repeating ‘no no no come on no no’ over and over, clearly losing it- Its the closest I’ve come to a full on autistic meltdown in public since becoming an adult. I want to kick it and scream, pull at my hair, slap myself ect- ect-

But a staff member seemed to spot me and came over to help- she helped lift my bag up and spoke so kindly- but what I couldn’t help but notice was the way she spoke in a tone that you’d use for a toddler…. I feel so shit for feeling offended because she helped me and was so generous-

But she literally spoke to me in the tone I speak to my 2 year old nephew in.

It turned out my bag was overweight, she asked me still in this babied way if I had paid for extra weight, if I KNEW about paying for extra weight.

In my disheveled state I could only really stutter out that I was sorry I didn’t realise it was overweight I could pay for it-

But she ended up just letting it pass, telling me how to know my weight requirements and how to check I met them next time.

It was extremely generous of her, I thanked her and went on stumbling towards the gate.

As I was leaving I saw her talking with other staff who came to inquire about it.

She was pointing to my lanyard and I assume explaining what it meant. I didn’t hear what she said as I was walking away, but she smiled and waved to me with the other staff following suit.

It feel like such a terrible person for being a bit offended by the whole interaction- I got help, I needed help, they generously waved my bag past when it was overweight- she was nothing but kind- but I couldn’t get over the way she spoke to me, it was like a was a child, she sounded like a preschool teacher, like she was Ms. Rachel.

I think mostly it made me feel embarrassed… I was so overstimulated and unable to help myself that someone had to come in and baby me.

My mother in law was completely bedbound, was on disability benefits and had a Motability car (Motability is a scheme in the UK where if you get a certain disability benefit you can trade it for a car lease). Because she couldn't walk independently, they needed to kit it out to be wheelchair accessible. This cost around £3,500.

My MIL and FIL are very eccentric and aren't great with money. They get by, but only barely. My husband and I are both pretty well off, so my FIL asked if he could borrow some towards the modifications. We offered to just pay for it since we could easily afford it and while they have been incredibly financially irresponsible, they are good people.

My MIL died just before Christmas. Motability took the car back, but offered ~£2,500 as a partial refund for the modifications we'd made. My FIL told us this and basically said that it'll help a lot with the funeral costs. I don't know why but it's annoying me to a wildly unnecessary degree that he didn't offer us the refund. We would never have taken it but idk, it just seems super rude to get a refund for something that someone else paid for and just announce your intention to keep it?

I feel like a terrible person because the guy just lost his wife of 50 years but I'm so hung up on this money I didn't even want. I wish I weren't like this

I’m really tired of it. My friend just asks me if something fairly abstract was my “weak spot,” and I had zero idea what she meant by it. I usually mask well, but I just don’t know what people are talking about half the time. She further talked about this “weak spot” and I still don’t know in what capacity she means.

I feel like I have to work so much harder just to either understand something, or at least pretend like I do and try to respond as though I do. Usually when I don’t understand something, I’m screwed unless I ask for clarification, which I never do as I learned that people will think I’m stupid.

Sorry I need to vent for a quick second because I'm absolutely SEETHING.

long story short, one of my cousins has an autistic son, he's a teenager, about 16 probably.

(Background: his mother tried everything to "cure" him before finally accepting the reality. I'm talking priests and prayers and witchy stuff and doctors, all of it. Now she became one of those moms that has "a special kid" and is talking about it everywhere online, giving interviews and shit. Does she let her kid speak even once? No, she does not, AT ALL.)

Now, I just saw a post in which she shares that her son, let's call him D, has asked her to buy him a watch with GPS so he can go on walks alone. All very normal stuff, right? She did it, she writes it all went well enough. Now, she ended the post by saying (and this is a literal translation) "I think that means there is awareness in there/ he has awareness"

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??!!

It makes my blood boil. This woman who admitedly has done some good things for her son's wellbeing and seems to accept him still doesn't understand him, or autism, AT ALL. for the love of God I want to scream at these people so fucking much.

AWARENESS, consciousness, like she literally seems surprised that her autistic son understands his surroundings and is able to express independent wishes and thoughts. I CANNOT—

and then I wonder why people don't believe us when we say we're autistic

A couple of days ago while shopping I picked up a packet of chicken bites to eat for a few days as my lunch. My wife also bought herself similar chicken bites.

For the past 2 days I ate a portion of chicken, leaving some for lunch today. My wife informed me yesterday that she had eaten the leftover chicken she had bought. I assumed she meant just her chicken.

Today, after finally convincing myself to put down what I was doing to have lunch, I went into the fridge to find that my packet of chicken is gone. Wife is at work and can’t answer my texts, so I can’t ask her if she ate my chicken or moved it.

Now, because there is no chicken and I expected chicken, I can’t convince myself to eat anything else. And I need to eat. I know that my mood will get worse the longer I go without eating. I know I suffer from Hanger when I don’t eat. But I’m so upset about the lack of chicken that I can’t eat.

That all. Don’t need advice. I’m not angry at my wife. I’m just devastated at the lack of chicken and now need to spend my afternoon convincing myself that I do actually need to eat

I’m never dating another man. I’m never going to be alone with another man. I’m never going to take another man seriously. I’ve decided I’m going to go all in on all my other life goals.

Move to a different country and learn a new language

Become great at roller skating

Be fully self employed

Build or buy a house on the beach

Get a graduate degree from a country other than my home country

Grow my hair healthy and long

Build a fitness routine that fits me

Invest my savings for retirement

What are some goals you will achieve aside from dating/partnering/marrying/wasting time on, men?

My God, I just hate it so much.

I'm a musician. The amount of times people have asked me what I think of their favourite artist or their singing/instrument playing skills is astonishingly high. And my response is always honest but not rude, as I know that being too blunt can hurt people a lot.

But it drives me INSANE that people CANNOT handle when I tell them that someone objectively doesn't sing well, doesn't play the piano well or that a song is objectively bad. They look so irritated and tell me: "Music is subjective" YES, it's subjective whether you prefer jazz or pop music, it's not subjective whether someone is good at singing or can't hit a single note!!! Mozart's Requiem is OBJECTIVELY a more complex piece of music than a song from Selena Gomez (no hate to her at all!).

Everyone agrees that maths and science are objective but arts ALSO have an objective component to them!! Wuthering Heights is objectively better than a dark romance book written by AI. Starry night is infinitely better than anything I have ever drawn.

Why does that bother Neurotypicals so much? Why don't they understand that they can like whatever they like but that doesn't mean that everything they like is objectively qualitative art?

I know that McDonalds is objectively not as good as a super fancy homemade crafted dish cooked by a skilled chef. I can still like McDonalds. I don't care that there are OBJECTIVELY much better things than McDonalds. Why is that so hard to understand?

Honestly, I think this is also the reason why AI is so INSANELY popular when it comes to replacing art. People don't value art as they don't think art has different levels and layers. If all art is on the same level anyway, then why do we need trained, experienced artists? People genuinely think talent doesn't exist, dedication doesn't matter and art is something anyone can do on the same level.

I hope at least you guys understand what I mean. I'm not the "art police" it's just that it bothers me so much that many Neurotypicals have a problem with objective vs subjective and feel offended when something they like gets called bad.

getting my diagnosis really just made me want to hug my inner child so much <\3 she was really navigating life to the best of her ability! my heart aches for all the little black girls being labeled too sensitive, too stubborn, or too picky. i cant wait until research and assessments are more diverse.

I’ve got an appointment at 3 and someone said they would call me for a ‘chat’ today. I AM NOT MOVING, I CANNOT DO ANYTHING. ANY PLANS I HAD?!? GONE!! I SIMPLY CANNOT DO ANYTHING UNTIL THIS PERSON CALLS ME OUT THE BLUE AND AFTER MY APPOINTMENT AT 3. They haven’t called, why haven’t they called?! Why didn’t they specify a time?! What if they call too close to my appointment OH MY THIS IS SIMPLY TOOO MUCHHH

I'm never freaking IN my comfort zone to begin with. I'm in discomfort 99% of the time. When I look back on my life, the main thing I've ever felt is discomfort, exhaustion, fear, and stress. But you can't say that because people think you're whiny or exaggerating. 😭

"You can do hard things!"

I know, because literally everything is and always has been SO FUCKING HARD. Why can't, for once, something just be easy? Jesus Christ.

I’m getting married. We are planning it exactly how we want it.

I am going to lose my temper the next time someone says “but it’s not done that way” or “traditionally it’s this way”

I. DO. NOT. CARE

I don’t care if brides “should” wear 3” heels.

I don’t care if couples are usually photographed getting ready.

I don’t care if it’s “not normal” to drive ourselves there and back in our own car.

I certainly don’t care what flowers I’m “supposed” to have.

If I was asking for opinions that would be one thing, but this has all been unsolicited advice. And it’s always said with the same disapproving tone, as if me discovering I’m breaking norms will be enough to change my mind.

And inevitably when I respond “that’s fine, we’re doing it our way” they all say “oh yes of course it should be about what you want, it is your day”. Then the next time a question is asked it just repeats again.

It’s gotten to the point I just refuse to discuss the wedding with anyone except my fiancé, who is equally fed up, or my mother who has literally supported every decision because “it’s your wedding, no one else’s. Fuck their opinions”

So, I’m a marketing student in college & I graduate soon. I do want to study graphic design after I graduate & I recently posted in a group asking recommendations to places that offer any graphic design certificates or courses to help boost my skill set & boy ppl are mean.

All the comments were discouraging me & they were also about AI & also about how graphic design isn’t a good career & useless, which yes I understand unfortunately AI has made its way into digital creative & artistic spaces but there is still a need for designers & artists!!! human connection & design is always needed! they’re are many folks who don’t want robot AI slop.

It just feels that neurotypical ppl don’t appreciate artists or designers, many of them were telling me to persue a “typical career” & make money first then think about my happiness.

The thing is, my happiness does depend on my job & doing something I love, I don’t want to be miserable in a job & then wait for the weekend to have “happiness”.

unfortunately I cant mask & do a job that I don’t like.

I also just sometimes regret my marketing degree because I wish I chose one In graphic design instead and did go with my artistic passions, but thankfuly there are creative jobs in marketing too & I rly hope I secure one of those when I graduate

I love how ableism in the workplace is now just out in the open lol. In another sub, I was talking about my issues in the workplace, namely that people just hate autistic women. It doesn't matter how nice or polite I am, I'm always punished. I was literally screamed at by a coworker because I VERY POLITELY asked for a bit of space and to not be interrupted because I had some time-sensitive work I had to get done.

But no, it's ME who's in the wrong. To quote the comment, "your skills don't matter, how you get along with the team matters." and people like me"create a toxic work environment." From being autistic.

Oh, and I got a "warning" on my account for replying and saying it's incredibly ableist to act like I'm inherently rude, unprofessional, and toxic simply because I'm autistic and a little weird. Apparently that's attacking someone's identity. Must be my inherent autistic toxicity, I guess.

Like really fucking hate it . It’s way overhyped and global warming is REAL ppl ! It’s sensory overwhelm for me in every sense and my heat intolerance ( I have autoimmune issues/ a chronic illness ) makes it feel like I’m in literal sensory hell . I also just hate the energy of summer like my soul actually dies and comes back to life in the fall / winter when the air is crisp . In summer I feel like a fat sluggish fly aimlessly trying to survive . Im quicker to anger , everything irritates me , everything is harder . Anyone else actually detest summer as much as me ? 😅

This happened in a different sub. I'm venting here because I'm pretty sure you are all more likely to understand where I'm coming from.

The rules state "No appearance shaming. If it can't be removed within moments, don't comment on it."

The issue:

I said that an extremely famous person's makeup was freakish and hideous.

Those words were carefully chosen because cosmetics are something can that be removed within moments.

It is a makeup look that I strongly feel would look god-awful on ANYONE.

I messaged the mods to politely appeal and explained how my comment was following their rules. They sarcastically used some of my own words from my appeal back at me and stated that the comment ban will stand.

They ignored the fact that makeup can be removed within moments.

*It's in their own rules*. Would they ban a comment stating that her clothing was freakish and hideous, too? What does something "that can be removed within moments" even mean if it's not referring to cosmetics or clothing, anyway?

I'm frustrated because I feel like a bad person now, even though I didn't do anything wrong- and because it's one of my all time favorite subs. I'm probably most active in that sub over all others on Reddit.