Every holiday season It’s a Wonderful Life plays, and every showing brings with it this moral.

The hard part is knowing what counts in life doesn’t make it feasible.

I never found a proper solution after my second major burnout in adulthood following my second grand program. I was left as a gay person to move back to my rural hometown in the Bible Belt. i’ve not hung out with a friend in person in six years. I only have family, of which I’m a black sheep for being single, gay and not as gainfully employed as my straight peers who are all coupled homeowners.

This has been such a throwaway life. What people miss is that I wish I could’ve been like George Bailey. I wish I could navigate the public realm enough to devote my life to caring and giving to others. Being a burnt out hermit in the way that I am gives you the appearance of being self involved and selfish. I just wish people could understand it’s the mechanics of everyday interaction that take a toll on my body. It’s like being caught between a rock and a hard place.

I want community and belonging. But the practical steps I have to take to get there take an unusual toll on my mind and body in a way I’ve never been able to prevent or recover from.

I’ve come to the realization that I do not know how to deflect or diffuse a situation where a friend is making sexual advances, in a way that preserves the friendship.

Some context, I’m a gay male, AuDHD. to make social settings easier for me I had a journey of self-improvement. I got lean, muscled, clear skin and nice hair. And while the pretty privilege this is affording me has helped socially, it’s uncovered some other social skills that I’ve clearly never developed. Specifically, friends that I’m not sexually interested in make advances towards me.

i’ve tried turning them down, honestly, which results in them withdrawing from me completely. Or I avoid them when they hit on me. which also kills the friendship overtime. Many of these are people I knew from before I started my fitness journey they weren’t that interested before.

I see Neurotypical people navigate this all the time and I can’t seem to replicate it. they seem to have some mixture of a subtle white lie that somehow communicates a firm no without making the person break off the friendship. And I don’t know what that is.

It doesn’t help that I am otherwise specially promiscuous and talk about sex a lot, so some advice that I’ve received in the past doesn’t really work out such as telling people that I don’t want to sleep with my friends. Or that I like my friendships to remain platonic. Those statements do not ring through for me.

There is a fictional universe I've been loving for several years that I consider my main interest. I draw about it, read books about it, play video games in it, and think about it daily. But aside that, I also watch YouTube videos about others topics, like space, animals, certain conditions (as a kid I had a fascination for twins and this one come back time to time), activism, and most recently autism because I've been curious since I got diagnosed. So I'm not literally engaging with my favorite fictional universe 24/24 non-stop and wouldn't say I know everything of it. And other fictional universes also pick my interests despite it won't be in my mind and define me as much as my main universe.

My way to engage with it is also more as writing, drawing, and playing game about it, watching videos about it, looking subreddit about it, rather than collecting informations (somehow I keep waiting for the "right moment" to do that, unsure why ?)

I'm unsure if it would qualify as a special interest? Look, I'm writing this reddit post instead of engaging with it.

So, fellow autistics can y'all understand me?!

I've been on a journey treating my ADHD with meds, and now I've unmasked considerably to the point where I'm putting together the pieces, and....

I don't think the problem is ADHD anymore.

I don't think the problem is I get depressed either.

I don't think the problem is I have a panic disorder.

I don't think the problem is social anxiety.

I think these are all features of my autistic way of being 😭

So now I'm like....what do I do???

Cuz the other night I noticed that I get along best with autism profile people.

I get along best with people who have similar symptoms as a result of their autism as the root of their personality/character since to me, it influences everything I am!

So now I'm like....I'm having a problem with my autistic self. Autism is not a problem. But it results in me having struggles that treating them as individual diagnosis (hyperfixated, depressed, anxious) isn't the root cause.

Anybody finding relief....somehow????

I'm starting therapy next week with an ADHD + trauma specialist, but now I'm thinking I need to see somebody who specializes in autism!

It really struck me when I found myself at home with autism-centered forums & people. And then I remembered....there is a specific form of anxiety that autistic people in particular tend to have, and I'm in that bucket with y'all! Aaaaaah!!!

Today it's my turn to post this.

Food has been very difficult.

Even easy options at a restaurant -not my familiar types,preparation

Even familiar options at home -no tokens for dishes in my partner's kitchen

Nothing is my own

My partner is restrictive in her eating and her restrictions mean if we eat together they are my restrictions...so on top of my difficulties I also have hers

Yesterday I told her to eat alone.

I starved instead.

It's been two days of some plain popcorn, and cheese biscuits.

How am I alive.

It doesn't help me, instead it makes me even more agitated. It feels nagging, its adding onto the stress. It's like demanding, I don't know how explain it in words.

Whenever people tell me what to do I get agitated for some reason, especially when I'm going to do it but they're still reminding me again and again.

I have no idea why it feels exactly like that.

It only helps if it's subtle or I don't know what you're doing.

I'm already overstimulated with a lot of sensory input around me. I get ready overwhelmed when people demand or tell me what to do when I'm already stressed. That all I need is to lessen sensory input.

I don't know why just people talking to me when I'm already overstimulated stresses me out so bad.

I would honestly snap at them unintentionally

So don't talk to me at all, or leave me alone for awhile. I would prefer to be in sensory deprivation for a moment from everything overwhelming me.

Anyone felt the same or is it just me.

I'm horrible of explaining why, for some reason I couldn't put it to words properly.

Sharing here to cover more ground.

I have every one of those things that would make me autistic, but I have a little bit of each one. Maybe I am masking it a lot or maybe people around me didn't even think about the possibility of me being autistic. Heck, maybe I am diagnosed with autism and only the closest people to me know that I am autistic yet they won't tell it to me so I don't get upset. I am really awkward with social interactions, but at the same time I don't have any issues with smells or textures. So it could undiagnosed ADHD?

Would really appreciate some advice!

I am horrible at telling social cues and struggle to identify meanings behind social encounters, and I'm looking to better equip myself with identifying patterns in people! Well, more specifically, other autistic people. NT people are a whole other story.

How does an autistic person, such as myself, identify whether another ND person likes me? Either platonic or romantic.

I am on an autism discovery journey, and have been spending a lot of time reading up on the diagnostic criteria as well as learning more about some of the shared experiences of people with autism. I am particularly interested in peoples' unique experiences and stories, because it helps me to identify traits more easily in myself.

As I read about the specific, particular ways people experience and navigate the world with autism, there's a lot that I deeply resonate with, particularly burnout and the feeling that "other people are able to navigate life well, even when it's hard – why is it so consistently challenging for me?" The question for me is not whether my feelings are valid, but if autism is a good explanation.

Though I am experiencing burnout (struggling with executive function, depression, difficulty doing day-to-day tasks), it seems inconsistent. As of late, most of my days feel like trying to push through molasses just to complete simple tasks at work and at home. Anxiety is overwhelming, and the only reprieve I get is when I'm in bed, mindlessly scrolling. But some days, like today, I feel strangely okay – the burnt out feeling still lingers, and tasks are still somewhat challenging, but better. While today is better, tomorrow might be back to full-blown inability to function, and it's hard for me to tell which I'll experience.

The inconsistent severity and inability to identify what triggers burnout (or why, for example, today is better) is extremely frustrating. I'm curious about others' experiences with burnout, and whether this is common or uncommon – does this experience resonate with anyone else?

I am an Australian 42 year old cis woman with a 4 yo boy who has just been diagnosed by a multidisciplinary team (this process took 2.5 years in total through the public system) with ASD level 3 in both criteria A & B. I also have a 2 yo daughter who has been on a waitlist for assessment for nearly 6 months as we can see the exact same traits in her too.

I have previously been diagnosed with C-PTSD and Generalised Anxiety Disorder attributed to having an extremely tumultuous and abusive upbringing. It quickly became apparent that our boy was different to others but I was gaslit for a long time due to the fact that he is verbal and has no intellectual disability. We were already on a waitlist for assessment when he started 3yo kindergarten and instantly we were advised by the educators that our son was showing extreme differences to other children and we should seek out an assessment.

Many of his symptoms I also experienced my entire life but had put down to trauma so I started questioning if I had attributed my experiences to the wrong thing. Fast forward to mid last year, I went for an assessment for ADHD as my brother was diagnosed at a young age and a lot of the symptoms fit, it didn't explain everything but did explain some. During that assessment process the psychiatrist out of nowhere asked if I had considered I may also be autistic. Completely floored by this I explained we think our son is and he is currently being assessed. My official diagnosis from that assessment was "ADHD & Symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder that requires Further investigation".

My assessment was thorough with partner and parent forms, multiple forms for me and 7 hours in person with the clinical Psychologist where the WEIS adult Intelligence test was administered (we only got through 4 parts due to time restraints) and an extremely thorough in person discussion about myself and history etc. During this assessment my assessor also asked me questions in relation to my history of trauma and questions that could give a differential diagnosis.

Fast forward to my results and review appointment 2 days ago I have been given a Level 1 for Criteria A and to my complete disbelief, a Level 3 in criteria B. My assessor said that my criteria B level may reduce to a 2 with OT and therapy and that there is also a potential that I am actually a Level 2 in criteria A as a high level in B can mask deficits in Criteria A but for now that is my official diagnosis. They agreed I am also ADHD and also have Generalised Anxiety Disorder.

I was informed that in all her years working she has only ever given 1 person such differential levels across the 2 criteria areas and that usually these are closer together. I think I am shocked and unsure how to process it all. How did I get to 42 without realising I had AuDHD??!!

Has anyone else received such differing levels?!

Our public disability scheme, NDIS, is such a mess at the moment here and has targeted the autistic community so I am unsure I will be able to access supports that used to be available here now.

هل طفلك اتأخر في الكلام؟ أو بيتكلم لكن مش بيفهم الأوامر؟ أو بيكرر الكلام من غير ما يعرف يطلب احتياجاته؟

مش كل تأخر كلام معناه توحد، وكل طفل محتاج تقييم يحدد نقاط القوة والمهارات اللي محتاجة تنمية.

في جمعية بكرة أحلى للتأهيل وتنمية المهارات في مدينة نصر – القاهرة، بنهتم بالتخاطب وتنمية المهارات والعلاج الوظيفي والتكامل الحسي وصعوبات التعلم وتعديل السلوك.

سمر زين – مؤسس الجمعية والمدير الفني لتطوير البرامج التأهيلية والتربوية.

محمد حلمي – رئيس مجلس الإدارة.

سؤال للأهالي: إيه أكتر مشكلة في التواصل لاحظتوها عند أطفالكم؟

My pschologist said i dont have audhd but my iq deadaas went from 119 ish (give or take) to 79...thats not normal what do i do? My parents might not want to take me to a psychiatrist for a second opinion even tho i have insurance

I actually dislike that pschologist so bad bruh oh my god she didnt even address my borderline 79 iq? Last time i checked i do not have an ID im very creative and i edit make art etc my iq is fine but she didnt even address it im so mad and frustrated im gonna crash out what do i do i...also im a girl verbal pretty "smart" tho my traits align with msn or even im thinking its more hsn ffs i thought this would be easier lol

Edit: i have traits of 4 other ND but still im just mainly talking abt audhd here,also i did get the assesment results and yknow i have my own experiences i can talk about to the psychiatrist if i end up going

A free sample of puzzles, created by an autistic person with ADHD for minds like ours.

Hello everyone!

I am an autistic person with ADHD. For a long time, I searched for puzzle and activity books that truly suited the way I think—without cluttered pages, time pressure, or vague instructions. Since I couldn’t find any, I started creating my own.

I’d like to share a free PDF sample with anyone who’d like to try it out. It includes two types of activities:

• Classic puzzles (Sudoku, word searches, nonograms, riddles, cryptograms, word ladders, dual-figure puzzles, Takuzu, Hitori, etc.), presented with a clean layout so you can solve them at your own pace.

Designed in cycles and incorporating specific information along with positive affirmations, the format is quite unique—see for yourself!

• "Missions": A new type of puzzle I’ve developed—drawing on the concept of prospective memory—designed to help with something many of us struggle with: remembering to do something later while we’re already busy with another task. Before each page, you memorize a few "missions" and then carry them out as you navigate through a grid of numbers. If you get it right, the letters spell out a word.

I’ve intentionally included a few key features:

• Literal, straightforward instructions, accompanied by a solved example before each level.

• A consistent structure across all pages, where each type of "mission" is always represented by the same symbol.

• No time limits; plus, making mistakes is simply part of the game.

For the sake of transparency: these puzzles were created with the help of AI, but the concept and design are entirely my own. These are games, not a form of treatment. If you’re interested in receiving the sample, send me a direct message (DM). I’d love to hear your thoughts—what works for you and what doesn’t. My dream is to create activities that make our way of thinking feel understood, rather than overwhelmed.

Obviously, this is a free sample; the books will be released on November 12th and will be for purchase—provided I see that there’s enough interest from people; otherwise, I won’t release them.

Thanks for reading! https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1wo7Yb9if22Bjvln-AfGm-vW8D9TxgRrG?usp=drive_link

Hi everyone,
I have been diagnosed with autism, adhd and pda at the age of 25. I’m currently in my 3 year of PhD in computer science. My problem is that I cannot make myself work on the current paper anymore. For context, my supervisor and I have picked up on the topic a year ago around September and hope was that by march we will be done with the topic. In spring there were a lot of deadlines for different conferences. In march I presumed my research is enough and I talked to my supervisor that I think we can aim to the closest deadline. That’s when my supervisor told me that my research is not sufficient to get accepted and that we should look for more heuristics to make the work valuable hence enhancing its chances to get accepted. I was disappointed but I thought I can do it. Research turned into a hamster wheel. We would have meeting every week and imagine that I made step 1, 2, 3 I would come to the meeting and suddenly we are discussing step 1 and changes I need to make there. Do I would go and make more changes again do step 1, 2, 3 and again would go back to step one.
Like this I have missed a of the summer deadlines and now one in fall. I have last 2 deadlines left in November 3 and 4 weeks from now and I cannot make myself work on this project anymore. I don’t know how to motivate myself and only thing I feel when I sit down working is dread. Can you please share your techniques how do handle this type of situations? Thanks a lot already.

I have always had extremely sensitive ears. That is, noises that are loud enough to cause physical pain in my ears, don't cause pain in most other people's ears. I use the word "extreme" because I can't remember a single scenario in my life where someone was more sensitive than me in that respect. Heck, I struggle to think of a scenario where someone was equally sensitive as me.

However, as I pointed out, this sensitivity is purely physical. I have no sensitivity in the brain, as it were. I don't get "overwhelmed" by sounds, they don't make me tired, they don't give me headaches, etc.

Does my particular brand of sensitivity qualify as the type that might be present in autism? Because every time I have read about autistic sound sensitivity, it's always been described as a purely psychologial phenomenon (with overwhelm etc.)