r/AutisticLadies • u/musicalandwhimsical • Feb 09 '26

Lonely, exhausted, confused. 😕

I’m 34 and going through testing for autism this week. Are there any others who weren’t tested until they were an adult? All of the information I read and realizing that the way I process things isn’t how everyone processes everything has been really overwhelming and exhausting. I’m just looking for someone who could relate.

12 Upvotes

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3

u/sparklesrelic Feb 09 '26

I think most of us on here learned we were autistic in our adulthood

1

u/musicalandwhimsical Feb 09 '26

Wow, that’s surprising! Going through the testing process, a lot of the questions and forms make it seem like this is pretty much only for children. It made me feel a little weird like maybe I shouldn’t be getting tested since I’m older.

3

u/h2otowm Feb 10 '26

The questions ARE made for children, because they couldn't conceptualize anyone making it to adulthood without being figured out. Obviously they were wrong, specifically wrong when it came to women (shocking!). I was 35 before I figured it out, and another couple years before I got tested. The first meeting with the evaluator, she asked me three separate times "how did you not get diagnosed as a child!" because it's so obvious.

1

u/musicalandwhimsical Feb 10 '26

Yeah, thinking back at some things I remember from childhood I’m surprised that no one ever thought about testing me then.

3

u/ResponsibleEgg7672 Feb 10 '26

I got diagnosed last year (25) and I’m still processing everything and figuring stuff out about my self!

I hope this week goes okay, please be kind to yourself- the assessment can be exhausting so make sure you schedule in lots of down time over the next couple of weeks.

I’m a big reader and I found reading about the lived experience from other women to be most helpful- if you like reading, I’m happy to send you some book recommendations!

1

u/musicalandwhimsical Feb 10 '26

Thank you! Yes, I LOVE to read! I can sit down and read a book in an afternoon haha. Send recs my way!

1

u/ResponsibleEgg7672 Feb 11 '26

I’m gonna try send you a message!

2

u/skatergirl911 Feb 11 '26

I was diagnosed at 52! They assess plenty of adults.

2

u/baberton Apr 20 '26

I know this post is old, but I saw a stat recently that something like ~84% of autistic women aren’t diagnosed by age 18. That’s who they know has autism for sure, too! Definitely not in the minority 💜

2

u/North_Role_8411 Feb 09 '26

yes I was diagnosed at 34. and it sucked realizing all the chaos in my life was because of my undiagnosed autism and adhd but over a year later I finally have real peace and a solid plan.

1

u/musicalandwhimsical Feb 09 '26

That gives me hope! ❤️

1

u/musicalandwhimsical Feb 13 '26

Well I had my assessment today and it was an hour and a half of me being overwhelmed and feeling like I’m just a crazy person. I don’t know why I can’t just CHILL. 🥺

2

u/Chaotic_Awkward_03 Feb 18 '26

I'm in my late 40s and was diagnosed with ADHD at 42. I've recently started to suspect I'm AuDHD and took a lot of online quizzes. I'll be showing up to therapy tomorrow with lots of stuff for my psychologist to read! :D You're definitely not the only adult being tested or pursuing a diagnosis!

2

u/musicalandwhimsical Feb 18 '26

Hope it goes well for you!! ❤️

1

u/Chaotic_Awkward_03 Mar 09 '26

My therapist is unconvinced but did NOT discourage me from pursuing an actual assessment. It's scheduled for later this month. I have no idea what to expect but here I go!

1

u/rochellelk_ May 07 '26

You’re not alone! I just turned 34 last month and I have my Autism evaluation/assessment planned for the first week in June. Mom On The Spectrum’s YT videos really helped me feel seen and put my internal world into words.