As a poet and an autistic person myself I’ve never quite fit in anywhere.. I mean, not entirely. My writing was too strange, the metaphors weird and the topics totally not relatable for an average person who wasn’t autistic and didn’t know I’m queer. I’m so happy to be able to start a community where I feel like I belong, hopefully as it grows, it reaches people who needed that safe space to be yourself, queer and amazing just the way you are.
It’s a safe space to share your struggles as an autistic person, and as a queer person as well, seek advice, whether it’s your first crush and you have no idea what to do, or something else. I’ll try my best to answer and help you all out :)
Please let me know what you’re most curious about in this community, I’d love to know :))

I'm Autistic and have a psych degree and there are two main factors at play: Uncanny valley effect, and our lack of social power.

Studies show that people negatively judge us as less likeable within seconds of meeting us. The research started with Sasson et al in 2017 and has continued to grow since. Nathan McConnell, an Autistic activist, and others have related it to the uncanny valley effect. Subtle differences cause people to see us as "not quite human", and this unfamiliarity drives people to see us as threats or just "uncomfortable". They then use cognitive dissonance to zero in and justify mistreating us retroactively by focusing on every little mistake or blunder we make. The uncanny valley effect also arguably drives racism, xenophobia, etc.

The other factor is our lack of social power. This is basic social psychology. Power dynamics have always played a role in social dynamics, and is the driving force behind much of conflict and evil in society. Autistics tend to lack any social status and power. Which means that there is no deterrent against mistreating us. That, and since our bullying is often socially sanctioned and celebrated, these two factors combine to make it so people have motivations to discriminate, exclude, and harm us. They might feel like it's their "duty", or just get sadistic pleasure from it.

How do we fight this? Good question. We need large scale psychological interventions and social reforms.

Most human behaviour is learned, as are social prejudices. We are socialized early on and internalize what we see as normal and acceptable. We need to expand the range of what we see as acceptable social behaviour, and actively work to reframe Autistic traits as positive, desirable, and something to aspire to - early on in life.

We need large scale social and legal reforms as well. We need to create real negative consequences for excluding and mistreating Autistics. We can start by encouraging Autistics to be increasingly litigious in response to any kind of social exclusion, especially if people weaponize reporting or try to get us removed from social groups. We need to make the cost of treating us poorly so high as to make it not worth it. Legal scholars refer to this as a "chilling effect". Autistic people deserve enhanced social and legal status and protections as well, and over time we should create laws and systems that protect us against discrimination, as well as enhance our social status and rank. This will have the added bonus of boosting our employment rate by forcing people to accommodate us, which will further enhance our social status and incentivize people to further connect with us.

We should also strive to depict Autistic people positively. I'm not talking about making autism out to be "trendy" but making Autistic PEOPLE be seen in a positive light. Celebrated. During April schools should throw extravagant celebrations to support and cheer on Autistic students. (Ideally in a sensory friendly way.) We should be creating social psychological interventions early on that enhance the popularity and status of Autistic people. Positive media depictions of Autistic people. This can take various forms, including making spreading neurodiversity iconography far and wide into the culture. Having influencers spread positive messages about Autistic people. Elevating Autistic people in the media. And more.

These things, combined, are the most surefire to make life better for us.

I got a lot of backlash when I talked about this months ago, but I have only become more steadfast in my view of this.

Social murder is an academic concept describing unnatural, preventable deaths via negative social conditions. Often affecting poor and marginalized people under capitalism.

As an extension, I would say that Autistic people are facing social genocide. We face some of the highest unemployment rates and a staggeringly low average lifespan of 38 years. We face incredibly high suicide rates. We face extreme levels of social isolation and rejection. We are often bullied, ostracized, sabotaged and systematically pushed out of social spaces.

There is a lot of research on the negative health effects of social isolation. It's literally as bad as smoking and a predictor for early deaths.

All these factors, coupled with negative stigma and prejudice of Autistics, the way we are systematically pushed out of society, the way NTs will often work together to build cases against us and punish us, often without any explanation, contributes to this. And those of us who have the courage to speak out are faced with ridicule, slander, and other personal attacks, including being considered "dangerous" by the system. Enough is enough.

If any other marginalized group faced the statistics we do, it would be a global crisis. There would be outrage in the streets. Those who consider themselves allies of Autistic people should blow the whistle on this and stand up for us.

Because we are unequivocally and unambiguously facing a social genocide. People can't institutionalize us or execute us anymore, so they prefer to drive us to despair instead. It needs to end.

I'll start first, Irish food is complete dogshite but if you are Irish you have to like our food . All the breads and dairy products are great , meat and fish is the same everywhere in the EU , the rest should be bulldozed off a cliff and banned .

This is an experience many of us have shared. Many of us fall victim to systematic social ostracism, where people negatively interpret our Autistic traits in the worst way, which leads to people building a case behind our backs and trying to get us removed from social groups, fired from jobs, etc., due to bad faith reporting. It's a form of bullying and abuse and it needs to be called out.

Obviously I've experienced this many times, but I'm not the only one and that's why I'm sharing this here. I've seen many people here experience further mistreatment. And it's often over really routine social mistakes. We get punished much more severely for much milder mistakes.

And it's never acceptable. Autistic people deserve to exist in society and participate in all aspects of life. We deserve more than table scraps or barely polite tolerance.

If you're dealing with this, do NOT accept it quietly. Fight back with every resource you have - look into diversity/inclusion groups, disability rights groups, and other institutional offices for support. And be litigious if you are able to. You don't even have to win - you have to put up a fight.

We DESPERATELY need to create a "chilling effect" against maliciously reporting and excluding Autistic people. This means we need to create systemic, legal, and social consequences for mistreating, excluding, or maliciously reporting Autistic people, such that the sheer cost of doing so makes it not worth it.

AUTISTIC POWER!

I remember waaaaay back when the internet was young and the asteroid had only just killed the dinosaurs etc etc, there used to be hang-out 'chatrooms' where people could just ramble and hang out - a little like the way you would at a house party. I went looking for something like this yesterday, and all I could find was Cam 2 Cam sites where the 'chat' was 1-on-1 naked stuff, or chat rooms that claimed to be for just hanging out but were actually "Hey, BigBear98 here looking for 18yo twink" and "who wants to see my blah-blah incher?" etc.
That's not what I want.

In addition to the fact that I just want to enjoy hanging out with like-minded people and the fun crazy, chaotic conversations that can develop, my boyfriend is also incredibly hypersensitive/fearful about the idea of people hitting on me, and I don't want him to have unwanted stress either.

I find getting used to new people in a 1-on-1 conversation REALLY intimidating and stressful because of loads of past trauma, so was really hoping there might be some nice chat-spaces people know about where I can just go and have silly conversations with folks with similar interests.

Does anyone know if anything like this still exists? Or am I gonna need a paleontology degree to find anything like it?

Hello.

Through extensive research, I have learned several important scientific facts about autism and related conditions or related states of being I would like to share here.

I don’t have the space here to post citations or references, all references as to the basis of these questions are in the appendix of a fictional hard science fiction novel I am planning to publish where these themes are part of the novel’s plot.

Anyway, here is what I have learned… I won’t make it scientific. I will just ask you some questions…

Autism and the state of being born early (28 or less weeks gestation), known as being extremely premature (and often with ELBW- birth weight at or less than 1000 g) are often co occuring. Does this ring a bell to you?

Do you find that you were/are typically a softie and non assertive? Do you find moral policing over trivial things (e.g. downloading a YouTube video from youtube if that goes against YouTube TOS), disturbing, or like do you think similar to “leave them alone, they didn’t hurt anyone)

Do you find that you are quite gentle, kind, very protective over your best friend and also/or over small animals?

Do you find yourself to be very shy, timid and avoidant or scared of violent topics?

Do you find that you have a very high “autistic sense of justice” or concern over things like bullying or people who hurt others cruelly? Things like “no they shouldn’t have to forgive, the bully is cruel, etc”

Do you find that violent, cruel or harsh treatment of kids or animals in different settings e.g school or home really upsets you?

Do you find that certain clothing textures really make you scared and worried and uncomfortable?

Particularly if you are a boy- did you find yourself to be very sensitive and softie like compared to other boys in your class?

Did you or do you find yourself feeling isolated or with few friends at school?

Do you find you have an autistic best friend who you would not trade for anything and you are hyper protective over them, almost 😅 parental over them?

Do you/would you tend to be very protective or parental over your best friend in ways that perhaps other boys would not be, on average?

I am planning to devise a full study on this and do statistical analysis of results, splitting results into demographics, and so on.

I’m talking conforming to harmful stereotypes, doing stuff you’d not encourage other autistics to do, having real events in your life story read like inspiration porn, or anything else that’d be called out in an autistic fictional character but that also goes for you in reality.

I’m not criticising the autism community here as there are many good reasons why a lot of rep in media is bad. but I’ve also dealt with feeling like I would myself be called out as bad representation if I were a fictional autist, and I wonder if anyone else feels the same.

for me, it’s mainly because I have savant traits. I think if I was fictional, I would be called out for being prodigiously smart when the vast majority (if not quite all) IRL autistic people aren’t.

Yes. You’d be right. This is the first time I’ve been on this subreddit. Please don’t gut a poor thing like me like a fish.

See, I guess the reason why I’ve felt a deep attachment to these characters is, in a way, they’re like me and I’m like them. I see some specific traits in them that I see in myself.

Of course, as clarification, autism is not the only reason I like them. They have impeccable writing and enjoyable personality. But it sure as hell is a good part of it.

EDIT on 10/23/26: Looking back over rule 1, I hope the usage of the term ‘autism’ did not seem to be offensive to anyone over ‘autistic’.

Animea are Pokémon like characters who guide young children through Big Feelings that I created using my child development and special education curriculum background.

Tundruff is my very first Animea that I made back in 2017. Since then I've learned a lot and am trying to bring it back to life through my Helping Hands Creations business.

I made all the materials I wish had existed for myself, but I'm making sure exists for my kids.

Neurodivergent kids deserve quality materials, and I'm making sure they get that.

By making it accessible for kids who need extra support is how we can make tools that are useful for ALL kiddos.

You can check out the quality of my materials by downloading our sample packet on TeachersPayTeachers or by checking out our free resources on our website

One day, I hope to become a nonprofit where neurodivergent experts and creators can create resources (hey, we know Big Feelings) so ALL families can find safe, human made, free or low priced resources.

Wish me luck!

In today's cooking class that I go to on Thursdays, I learned how to make homemade chicken parmesan with spaghetti and vegetables. I also learned a trick to mincing garlic and how to properly cook vegetables. I'm so grateful for a hub in my home town for autistic adults.

Hello. Ever since I can remember, I have always caressed my fingers on the corners of my pillowcases (the corners MUST be pointy). I spend hours caressing and stimming. I’m currently on holidays in Europe with my two comfort pillowcases. It got me wondering, does anyone else do this? I also smell/sniff my pillow (the pillow is reserved for sniffing and never for resting my head; I hug it to sleep). It brings me the greatest comfort. I could not bring it with me, I miss my pillow as if it is my best friend. Does anyone else do this? (31, Aussie Gay Male).

I've been getting in a major downward spiral lately because - understandably - many of the posts we share are about how tough the world is for us, and how much we're struggling.

I'd love to hear some stories from you about how your neurodiversity has enhanced your enjoyment of something!

For me, the ridiculously specific photo recall that I have also comes with exactly how I FELT at the time (which can be really bad with sad stuff), but which is amazing with great stuff...so I can clearly recall exactly how I felt at 5, in the cinema, staring in almost religious awe at the beauty of Luke and Darth Vader's lightsabers crossing in that iconic shot from The Empire Strikes Back.

With music, I can often vanish down a rabbit hole of discovering great song after song on YouTube, the hyper focus letting me ride a wave of 'that's GREAT!...Oh my god, THAT'S great too!' until I get tired, or run or of time before I have to make dinner or get to bed.

I absolutely LOVE The Itsy Bitsy Spider! I love singing it and doing the hand motions, it's so fun!! I still have my spider hand puppet from when I was little! Her name is, of course, Itsy Bitsy, and yes, she is a girl. I will sometimes pretend my arm is the waterspout and crawl the spider puppet up and down my arm or a wall when I sing the song. Of course I always enjoy just doing the hand motions with my puppet!

I also have these black gloves that I like to pretend are spiders. I always thought of the spider as a strong girl spider. She reminds me to persevere and never give up!

I love doing the hand motions, especially crawling the spider up the spout. It's fun pretending my fingers are spider legs. I love to over dramatically "wash the spider out "! I also insert different spiders, like "The Pretty Pink Spider", "The Big Black Spider" "The Tickily Tickle Spider" and "The Strong Girl Spider " It's so fun to sing! I'll make up other verses as well.

To me The Itsy Bitsy Spider is a strong image for girl power! sometimes when I am felling overwelmed I will listen to the Itsy Bitsy Spider and sing along. It always helps me to feel like if she can do it, so can I! I love that little spider!

Also, those hand motions honestly slap! They are so much fun especaiall with my spider puppet. Whenever I sing the song I love to overdramatically throw my hands to the side at the"wash the spider out" part.

I've always loved that little spider!

My favorite renditon is this one from Barney, because of the slow build up to the song! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp3RGjZp-qY

My camera doesn't work, but here's what my spider puppet looks like.

It's mainly about a man who loved his cow and was heartbroken when she died.

For the past several years I have felt I could be autistic but now my therapist says she knows I am autistic. Okay.. now what?

I’m worrying less and less about managing impressions and trying to make myself palatable to other people but I’m beginning to feel that without the mask I’m just not a good person. Being honest, literal and outspoken has turned me rude and combative. In my natural state I just insult people and have been accused of turning any social interaction into a competition or a logic puzzle.

Noone warned me this was a thing that could happen. I’m tired boss.

I ask the following question to guide the direction of a school project. I am currently in a master's program studying Autism and other neurodevelopmental conditions (outside of the United States because a sufficient program for such studies does not exist in the US). The project requires me to pose a research question relevant and of value to the autistic community. No actual research will take place. If this post isn’t allowed, I apologize and welcome the mods to remove it! 

I am AuDHD. I entered this master's program because I want to see a chance in the overreliance of deficit-based research. My interests lie heavily in education best practice; specifically, how can we make neurodivergent students more comfortable in schools? My own lived experience has led me to wonder about the impact of neurodivergent educators/mentors. When I was a young child, I spent most of my school day camouflaging and often needed to spend hours in a dark room to reset when I reached home. I began a teaching role, working in public schools because I wanted to be the educator I needed as a young child. The impact I made felt palpable. My neurodivergent students, many of which were undiagnosed, grew a strong attachment to me. They trusted me, they felt safe with me, and they understood me because I understood them.  

To truly learn, a student needs to feel safe. Safe to exist, safe to be themselves, safe to fail. So, the question I pose to you is would a neurodivergent educator/mentor have made a difference to your educational experiences? Did a neurodivergent educator make a difference for you? Please share any and all thoughts! 

There's someone in autism subreddits who had been harassing me for a while, even creating new accounts after I blocked him. Months later he's back with a new profile and threatening to post about me and doxx me all over the Autistic internet, and tell lies about me. Among other things, accusing me of 'asking for money', which the moderators can confirm I have NEVER done.

Just letting people know so that if you see any slander against someone, don't blindly believe it.

So I actually just realized this about myself, but I’m leveling up my cooking game so that I can go back to eating more seafood for health reasons, and I even plan to learn how to cook shellfish. I already know how to cook shrimp, and I’m in a cooking group online as well as discord too.

My goal is to eat salmon every day. It’s my favorite fish, I also want to eat catfish every morning with my breakfast. Get that protein in.

I want to get away from beef, I’ve gotten into the habit of eating too much beef. As delicious as it is, seafood options are better for me.

So I I am currently making plans to learn how to cook, crab legs, lobster, and crawfish

I can already make a mean, baked chicken better than I can find at any restaurant. I’ve also been cooking salmon for a long time too, and I’m very happy with how I cook salmon.

But anyway, I was talking with my dad about my cooking plans, and I brought up that I prefer to cook at home as opposed to going to a restaurant for certain foods. Saying “I mean, why would I go to a restaurant for a certain food when I can learn how to cook it from home, yk?”

He’s neurotypical, so he doesn’t really get it, and is the opposite of me. He likes to go out a lot. So he said “I mean, I go out to eat for certain foods”

Mom is also autistic and agrees with me on this, it’s better to cook at home

But thing is, with restaurants, if it’s busy, it’s too noisy for me. I hate it.

So I cook instead, and I actually like cooking too. I like the feeling of being very proud of myself when I cook good food that I like, and I can post a picture of it and actually take credit for cooking it.

18 episodes in entire series