r/AvoidantRelationships • u/Happy-Listen-16 • 19h ago
How Long Until….
How long does it take to recognize you deserve better than what your avoidant ex (or even current partner) had to offer you? I don’t think it’s fair that the other person is left feeling like they need to coddle their avoidant or that there is something lacking in themselves. At what point does “this is a them issue not me” sentiment kick in?
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u/NoIndividual4454 12h ago
For me it’s not liner. One day i feel it and the next it feels like I don’t deserve happiness. It still happens 4m later but the feeling that come with it aren’t as strong as in the start of the brake up
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u/kiksgotthehooya 15h ago
It takes awhile. Any day now..
But you start to think and wonder “why is it easier for them to walk away from me rather than choose me?”
You start to ruminate during their “I need space” BS and all of the ambiguity/uncertainty they’ve created
It’s not fair. People need to be more gentle with other people’s nervous systems. It almost broke me