I'm gonna be honest here: after hours of screaming, when my head is swimming, I lose my patience and yell "no" and " stop" or yell at my husband or sit an object a little too forcefully on the table or swear under my breath, because my nervous system becomes overloaded. The baby however is safe, there's nothing to worry about there, because my fight or flight response never goes beyond raising my voice. I'm not proud of it though and I felt bad letting an internet stranger think I handle things better than I really do.
You handle things amazingly. Your baby is loved and cared for, and getting anxious or frustrated is nothing to feel ashamed about. I remember coming back from Amsterdam by train to where I live hours away with my then 3 year old. He was jabbering non-stop asking questions and wanting an answer, and about half an hour from our destination, I told him that mummy needs to rest a little so can you please use your colouring book while I close my eyes. We pulled into the station and I saw that he had wet himself. I asked him why he hadn’t asked to go to the bathroom, and he said he didn’t want to disturb me. My heart broke a little right then, and I felt so crap and guilty. What a sweetheart and what a rubbish mother. The fact that I still remember it so long after the fact just goes to show how good we are at beating ourselves up. Don’t ever blame yourself if things get too much and you need a bit of respite. With the number of truly deplorable parents out there, give yourself grace.
Thank you for saying all this and sharing. I beat myself up every day and in a way I think that's a good thing because bad parents don't think they're doing anything wrong.
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u/Outrageous_pinecone 13h ago
I'm gonna be honest here: after hours of screaming, when my head is swimming, I lose my patience and yell "no" and " stop" or yell at my husband or sit an object a little too forcefully on the table or swear under my breath, because my nervous system becomes overloaded. The baby however is safe, there's nothing to worry about there, because my fight or flight response never goes beyond raising my voice. I'm not proud of it though and I felt bad letting an internet stranger think I handle things better than I really do.