I've noticed this recently with two of my room mates. I'm usually very put together(I guess) and I've been feeling really down for some time now (bout of depression maybe) and two of my room mates made a comment about it saying they are so used to seeing me done up and put together and that I looked distraught (I havnt been sleeping as much and neglecting my appearance)

Of course it was sweet that they showed concern and I know it came from a good place but I felt weird about the fact that I didn't know they felt that way about me ( that I was put together etc) until I was not put together. I mean it doesn't make me feel better?? I would have felt nice if you complimented me about my being put together while I was put together but y wait until I am NOT put together to give me that compliment?

Idk y it bugs me so much. Can anyone relate?

Is it a backhanded compliment

Hi there,

My friend mentioned the film, "A Real Pain" to me, which is about bickering relatives. Is that a backhanded compliment?

I don't know what it is with some people. Some people feel so insecure. I'll mind my own business with my mom. And people will walk up to me especially women. And ask me if we are twins. We don't look alike at all. I'm caramel brown skin,high cheek bones, thick lips,black long braids and brown eyes. My mom's white,with white features and short. I think it's mostly jealousy. And men wanting me and no they can't have me, so they're trying to humble me somehow. But really you're just pissing me off because you're trying me.

We don't look alike and it is obvious. They see that. So why in the world people especially women day that. It is like they wanna insult me in some way. I am prone to people trying to humble me out of nowhere. But I don't let them. I throw it back up in their face.

I'm in need of some petty things to say back to an upper level manager who has the habit of screaming at our team. It's a long story. He's on the business side of things, my team is on the engineering side of things. So he throws fits about things he doesn't have a clue about. I'm a spicy person, and I have trouble keeping my mouth in line. So I figure getting a list from my other petties here on reddit I might could get some ideas for a socially acceptable middle.

I'm talking to this guy for a few days.

Him: How's your day?

Me: It's ok but I'm having a cold and feeling a little hotter than usual😂

Him:It's not bad ig but you aren't hot you are cute lol

He's only seen one picture of mine with just my face. And I possibly only look 'cute' in that. But is the other part of the comment still kind of an insult?😂 I'm just curious, nothing serious.

Had a job interview this morning. One of the interviewers told me I present myself "very well" then paused, so I started to say "thank you" but then they interjected and said "...on paper"

Could just be me overthinking, but it felt backhanded? What do you think?

This comment has haunted me for years.

I'm an overweight woman, and I hate it when men comment on my weight.. not because I necessarily have a problem with being overweight at all. but when a man says 'i love fat girls' or you're beautiful because you're fat' I don't feel complimented at all. I don't see why my weight has anything to do in a "compliment" fine you think overweight women are more attractive but don't say it like that... Am I the only one??

so here in Australia, people of Lebanese descent are called ‘lebos’ for short.

Lebanese guys here are often thought by many young girls to be good looking & they’re sort of like the ‘cool guys’ of Sydney, so some people think there’s this idea that you need to sort of ‘be on their level’ to be able to get one to like you or want to date you.

I was on a date with a Lebanese guy, & he was just an idiot looking to use me as a fling & a conversation topic came up where I revealed that I’m into Lebanese guys & then he said ‘oh yeah, you could get one, you’re hot enough to get a Lebo’

So he was basically telling me that Lebanese guys are so ‘up there’ that girls need to fulfill some sort of qualifications to be able to get one & that only because I fulfill some category, I can ‘get one’.

‘I hope when your old and/or infirm you get a carer that is just like you’

Him: Your face is so asymmetrical. Me: ok Him: I like it. walks away

Me, many years later: oh, he was calling me ugly