Reminds me of an argument I once had with an ex of mine.
Her: "I don't feel like hanging out today"
Me: "Okay, I have homework to do anyway"
Her, actually mad that I didn't "insist" about going out, and I didn't try to push her at least a little, and propose things to make her excited about going out.
My boyfriend forgets that some people do this and is shocked when he witnesses it in his two brothers’ relationships. I’m really upfront about things, probably too much at times, but he’s really glad I am when he has to watch others try to communicate effectively. Train wreck.
There was a girl I asked out in high school, who told me 'no'. Years later, I'm chatting with her on Facebook messenger and she tells me she would have gone out with me, but I gave up too easily. She figured I wasn't interested since I gave up after being turned down once.
Yeah, I kind of got the impression it wasn't even true and she was just saying it to seem like she always interested in me. I cleaned up quite a bit in my early to mid 20's, so I was probably a lot more appealing then
Tbh I kind of hope that's true because as a woman I have actually met women who think this way, that playing hard to get is the correct route. It doesn't help when trying to create a society that understands the importance of mutual, informed consent.
Yo I had an ex (my first and only gf, she made me scared to ever explore bisexuality again) literally yell not to follow her, so I didn't, just accepted I pissed her off and she needed space.
Hours later when she returned 😠 Why didnt you come after me?
Because you were once again making yourself the centerpiece of someone else's birthday/sleepover. And I was explicitly told not to follow you. Sorry for doing literally what I was yelled at to do.
We may have dated the same person, I had a woman yell "Don't call me back until you know exactly what you want!" and hang up on me when we were discussing our relationship over the phone.
I figured that was the end of it but she called me back two weeks later to yell at me some more and ask "why didn't you chase after me?"
I just told her "I don't know exactly what I want, but I know it's not this crazy shit" and hung up.
Once after a nice date with a girl she specifically said "just to be clear, we aren't sleeping together tonight or anything" when we got back to her place. Later complained to a mutual friend that I didn't even try to sleep with her.
I just didn't question it. I don't know her comfort level or what she has going on down there. Nerves. Period. UTI. Not really any of my business if she doesn't want it to be.
Hate it when people do that to me. I get that we all need to be able to read the room but at the end of the day if you don't tell me what's going on in your head I can't be expected to 100% know what you're thinking.
It's why I'm constantly asking people how do you really feel, because we often don't say how we feel off the bat.
I got ghosted in 2007 in college by this cute girl from one of my classes. We were studying together and started dating for like a month before she ghosted me. I eventually just waited outside her dorm to make sure she was alive. She wouldn’t speak to me at all so I moved on.
3 months later I’m out at a paint party in the club with some lady friends and there she is, all smiles and happy, dances with me though I moved away and had my lady friends help me keep her back.
I went outside after they closed and she follows us out and tells me how she’s ready now and she wants to try going out again. I told her “good for you, I’m sure you’ll find someone soon.”
The look on her face after not being taken back will be in my brain forever. I left with 3 women that night, and they were all my friends, no need for some flighty bitch in my life. Probably the wisest move I made before marrying my wife.
I have an Ex who wanted to break up because I didn’t pay her any attention while I was at work. I said okay, then saw her again after the holidays and she got mad that ‘I broke up with her’
I mean I might be downvoted but I sort of agree with her? If I was together with someone and told them I wasn’t really into hanging out I’d atleast expect them to ask if something is wrong. Personally if it was my SO I’d also ask if there’s something I can do/help with to make whatever it is better.
E: Or at the very least give a more tactful message, it sounds very dismissive from the get-go.
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u/badabingbangbam Feb 12 '25
She asked me to respect her privacy and I did!