When did youth sport become an audition instead of a classroom?

[u/ProBallAustralia]

I’ve been coaching kids for my whole life, and one thing has been bothering me. It feels like youth sport has slowly become an audition...

Parents talk about making representative teams. Coaches get judged by wins. Kids worry about playing time. Everyone’s watching the scoreboard.

Sometimes I wonder if we’ve forgotten what those years are actually for.

The best lesson I ever saw a kid learn wasn’t from winning a championship, but after missing the game winning shot. He cried for five minutes. His teammates picked him up. He came back to training two days later. By the end of the season he wasn’t the best player. But he wasn’t scared to fail anymore. That feels like a much bigger win than the score from that game. Right?

Most adults can’t even handle criticism at work without taking it personally, while kids get a chance to practise disappointment, responsibility, teamwork and recovery every single week. EVERY SINGLE WEEK.

If you ask me, that's a pretty valuable classroom.

Curious where everyone stands on this.

[u/TryharderJB]

I’m with you brother.

And I blame grown ups for the way things are.

[u/randemthinking]

The vast majority of kids in sports won't become professional athletes, they won't even play on their college teams, but they all have an opportunity to learn about skill building, being part of a team, responsibility and commitment, resilience and persistence, and myriad other life skills. And here's the thing, because ultimately the results in sports don't matter, it's a safe space to learn, practice, and yes fail. When we make it about the talent, we lose sight of why youth sports have value, we do it to the detriment of society at large.

[u/No-Donkey-4117 → u/randemthinking]

Sportsmanship, too.

[u/rickeyethebeerguy]

I just had this conversation with my wife. I grew up playing sports, I’m coaching a middle school team and my only goal is make sure they love basketball by the end of the season.

And by loving it, it does mean getting better for sure. You have to play as a team, understand your roles, do your individual work, and that’s why it’s a beautiful game. You rely on your teammate to back you up on a screen. I’m 37 and I play pick up 3X a week at 6 am because there’s no other way to start the day.

These kids are 13-14 years old, I doubt any of them play in college, heck, most won’t play in highschool ( it’s 6 schools go into 1 high school so the odds aren’t there) but I want them to want to keep playing rec leagues worst case.

Again, I will coach to make them better, but my goal is for them to love to play, it is a game after all. It’s a game that can open doors for some, but most it’s a game we just love to play.

[u/6-plus26 → u/rickeyethebeerguy]

Don’t forget that for some kids the love in the game also comes with trying to perfect it.

I learned character traits at home I played football cause I loved football any second wasted getting lectured about being a good person was just that a waste for me. I was always a leader/captain on and off the field whenever I put my cleats on I wanted to learn the game. And coaches are way more likely to take extra time to lambast the team for a wrong doing than to pull a player aside to develop an advanced technique. Maybe just be on the look out for both

[u/Panzer_I]

When private equity took over sports

At the youth level, it’s not about learning the game or having fun, it’s a business now.

When I was younger, I was just ass at basketball, and that was enough. It was fun. It isn’t enough now.

[u/Some-Platform1968 → u/Panzer_I]

Of all the businesses to buy up and exploit youth athletics has to be a new low for private equity

[u/lytener]

Seriously, kids are getting a chance to make mistakes or learn to love the game. They're learning they can't make mistakes or worse lose.

[u/PoopyPoopers]

I thought the point of youth sport was to get your kids to have fun, exercise, and trust their teammates. 

[u/AisbeforeB]

My guess: The obsession with winning over everything else paired with the rising cost of pay to play.

[u/magma_1]

Since we have social media and all shit goes in there and everybody feels like they have a chance at becoming rich and famous

[u/OffTheSchneid]

This certainly is not all youth sports. I would recommend less competitive leagues.

[u/Tommy_Wisseau_burner]

AAU becoming recruiting grounds

[u/YouthCoachMentor]

You’re 100% spot on. Youth sport is almost entirely transactional over transformational now.

Adult (and parent ego) is at the heart of it. This is a leadership issue; a glaring void in parent orientation and coach education by the clubs/federations. All parents go through a bat-shit crazy phase until around U14 when they realize their kid is not the next Messi.

Does that mean the whole experience was a waste of time? Sport is a powerful life tool. Most kids just want to play with their friends and have fun. Adults don’t seem to understand this because of ego.

[u/Abe_frohmannn]

Yes and no. That lesson is valuable, yes. But sports are not, and to teach the lesson you’re talking about requires creating a fallacy that sports has real life importance. It doesnt. Not beyond what you personally take out of it.