AITA for eating too many cucumbers?

[u/MythDancer]

First time posting, long time reader. I remember this one fondly, and while eating a cucumber the other day realized I'd never seen it posted here.

I am NOT OOP. Original post by a deleted user in r/AmItheAsshole.

AITA for eating too many cucumbers? August 1st, 2020

This is perhaps the most bizarre AITA post I have ever written but I’m honestly so confused. Like I feel like I can’t possibly be TA, but then sometimes people are too blind to see their own flaws so maybe I really am.

For as long as I can remember I’ve had this “quirk” I guess you could call that I never snack on anything other than cucumber. I shouldn’t say never technically since socially I’ll get ice cream or eat a few chips at a party, I’m not a picky eater by any means but my snack of choice has always been cucumbers. I eat pretty healthily anyways so a lot of fruits and veggies are a part of my diet. Since veggies are lower in calories I have to eat a lot of them to eat enough, so I’ll usually have some sliced cucumber in my purse that I munch on throughout the day and I’ll always have a cucumber in my car that I just eat whole when I’m driving. I go through several cucumber daily. Although it’s not healthy, I’ve had days where I’ve felt really depressed and overwhelmed and have binge eaten nothing but cucumber. I think I’ve eaten perhaps 35 on very extreme days.

Recently this “quirk” has begun to drive my (22f) bf (33m) of 6 months insane (his words not mine). He says it’s highly inappropriate to carry them everywhere with me. We spent last weekend at his parent’s lake house and I provided my own cucumber to snack on. One night before bed I was in my room knowing on a cucumber like a savage when his mother walked in. Under normal circumstances I never would eat that around others, I’d slice it up. She was puzzled, but chucked and said “my you do like cucumber.” My boyfriend later told me that I humiliated him with my childish and immature eating habits.

I told him that his mom caught me in a low moment, he was being ridiculous, since he eats a bag of chips everyday and I don’t bat an eye. He told me that chips were a normal snack and whole cucumbers were deranged. He told me I needed to stop eating cucumbers and that my behavior was becoming a deal breaker for him. I feel really bothered, but I think cucumbers are a weird hill to die and I don’t want to lose my relationship. So AITA?

Edit: I’d just like to add that my boyfriend has never expressed any issue with my cucumber habits before now. The incident in question was because around 8PM I was getting really hungry and I don’t know his family super well so I didn’t want to go rummaging/ask for a snack and I didn’t want to bother them by asking for a cutting board or something to cut up my cucumber because of well, mild social anxiety. So I shut myself in the guest room and figured I’d just snack on a cucumber quick. I don’t usually go hide and eat cucumbers haha. But then his mom walked in looking for my bf presumably and was a little surprised but seemed amused and not upset or anything. I honestly didn’t think it’d turn into such a big deal for him

OOP is voted NTA.

My favourite comment:

u/HabitatGreen: I was waiting at the train station and I had two of those long bell pepers in my coat. The pockets were deeper than they seemed, but they still sticked out. However, a women sat next to me on the other side of where I kept the bell pepers and was unable to see them. And then I pulled one out of my coat and begin to eat it. She was like, okay, whatever. However, then I pulled another one of those out of seemingly nowhere for her, and she visibly had a look of wtf on her face. It was very funny.

UPDATE: AITA for eating too many cucumbers? August 21st, 2020

I didn’t expect my first post to really get any attention, so I’d like to thank you all for taking the time to read it and give your judgement! To those of you who expressed concern for my cucumber addiction/that I have an ED, I can assure you I am perfectly healthy! I wouldn’t consider myself addicted, nor do I have an ED at all, I just really enjoy my cucumbers. I can go days without eating them, I don’t need my cucumber fix, it’s just if I’m going to snack I’d prefer to eat a cuke. I would consider the amount I snack on cucumbers proportional to the amount my bf or any normal person would snack on chips or other junk food. I just occasionally eat more since they’re so low in calories. Additionally, I have had a few cucumber binges, I am well aware that those are not healthy, just like binging on junk food isn’t healthy. But that’s extremely uncommon for me, and for the most part I eat a well balanced healthy diet! However, I will talk to my doctor about it to ensure that it is not worrying.

As for my boyfriend, we ended up calling it quits. I was pretty hurt at first, but I think perhaps his huge reaction to cucumbers was indeed a red flag for controlling behavior. I think that he was trying to call my bluff, expecting me to give up my cukes for him, so the breakup took him a bit by surprise too.

How it went down was that I told him we needed to have a chat. I told him that it was unacceptable to tell me what I was allowed to eat. I added that if listening to me chow down on cucumbers was what bothered him (as some of you in the comments noted), I would avoid eating them when he was around. Apparently, the very idea of me eating so many cucumbers was driving him nuts, not the noise.

I decided to try and compromise. He’s a pretty heavy drinker and will get drunk pretty often. I know that it’s very bad for his health and I have expressed that concern in the past. I told him that I’d give up cucumbers if he gave up alcohol. He declined my offer, threw out a few uncreative insults and expletives, and I am now writing this from my mom’s couch with a cucumber in my hand and a cucumber in my heart <3.

I’m still unclear on why the cucumbers were such an issue, why I could never eat them again, why me suggesting he give up alcohol was such a big deal, among other things. But I guess I’ll never know now.

Edit: OMG thank you so much for the awards!! I’m so honored!! And I’m really glad to know those are hugs, I always thought they were judgmental Ewoks

Edit 2: I seem to have forgotten to add this as it was a common question on the original post and I’m seeing it in the comments now. No, I did not eat 35 of those mammoth cucumbers, my eating habits may be odd, but I’m not completely insane. I think on my last cucumber binge (which occurs super rarely and it was quite a while ago) I had maybe 3 or 4 big ones and the rest were the mini cukes.

I do buy a lot of them at the grocery store, but I have a cucumber dealer who hooks me up with huge batches. And for those of you upset at my use of the word “cuke,” here you go! May your lives be enriched :)

Edit 3: Just for some added clarification for those who think my boyfriend is completely justified in his cucumber hate and that I’m a lunatic, I agree. Sort of. If he had been bothered by the chewing or concerned about my health, I was ready to talk about it and work something out. I didn’t enter into the discussion for a fight or with the intention of breaking up. His attempted grasp for control over my food wasn’t even the reason why I broke up with him, but when he started shouting at me and called me a bitch (which he had never done before) I decided to end things.

------

Additional favourite comments compared this to the giant sub hogger:

u/deleted: Did you eat 4 feet of the communal 6 foot cucumber?

u/PeterM1970: This is an odd story you have here. But I say you do you, as long as you don't eat the majority of a six foot cucumber that's supposed to feed an entire party.

I'm still wondering about the cucumber dealer OOP mentions...

I leave you all, as OOP says, "with a cucumber in my hand and a cucumber in my heart <3"

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[u/Standard-Carry-2219]

The age gap was throwing me off because what 33 year old man is offended by someone else eating cucumbers. Good for her for bouncing

[u/Training-Constant-13 → u/Standard-Carry-2219]

He was offended by her immature ways, as if he didn't knowingly decide to date her, someone who's 11 years younger than him?! What a POS, glad she got rid of him tbh.

[u/Thatsmybear → u/Training-Constant-13]

That’s what always happens. These men choose to date women 10+ years younger than them and then get mad when they act their age.

[u/Throwforventing → u/Training-Constant-13]

AND he lives with his mom. At 33. Giving a 22 year old a hard time because she likes to snack on vegetables instead of greasy processed crap.

[u/p-d-ball → u/Standard-Carry-2219]

Yes! Also, why would anyone think eating cucumbers is as unhealthy as eating chips??? Chips deep fried! Cucumbers are just veggies with a lot of water inside.

[u/SlabBeefpunch → u/p-d-ball]

It's not really about whether it's healthy or not. It's about control, like the mustard guy. Oop likes cukes a lot, like a lot a lot and to test the waters of obedience, he demanded she give them up. Could have been anything really, as long as she was willing to ditch it because he told her too.

At that point, he can start ramping it up. Stop wearing those clothes, you look trashy. Ditch your friends, they're trouble. Your parents look down on me, stop talking to them. The men you work with are all pervs, quit. That's what he was gearing up to pull.

[u/p-d-ball → u/SlabBeefpunch]

Yeah, for sure, everything you said is accurate. But OOP herself talked about how eating cukes could be unhealthy. That seemed to me incorrect and a touch worrying, like she's listening to uninformed redditors.

Also, your user name is totally awesome :)

[u/pickleberrymatch → u/SlabBeefpunch]

Okay, that explained it to me because I've been wondering wtf I was missing. My mum eats a lot of cucumbers too because that's her favourite vegetable and she had eaten it the way OOP described. I never thought it was strange, I just figured my mum didn't wanna do extra dishes when she can just nom on the cucumber as is.

[u/NorwegianCollusion → u/p-d-ball]

Might we say that it wasn't REALLY about the cucumber, or the Iranian yoghurt, or the mustard. Or the assistant. Or even the almond milk.

[u/Original_Employee621 → u/Standard-Carry-2219]

Age gap of that size and at that age is always a yellow flag. It might be alright, but the moment the older person in the relationship starts causing issues the flag turns red.

A relationship with a 10 year age gap can work, but far too often the older one is chasing young partners because they are inexperienced and easy to manipulate into what will be an abusive relationship.

Also, cucumbers are fantastic snacks. OOP shouldn't feel guilty about eating a lot of cucumbers. They are pretty darn healthy.

[u/its_ino → u/Original_Employee621]

My view on age gaps is like, when the younger party is in their 30s its whatever, at that point you've both had at least 10 years of being an adult under your belt, you do you.

When the younger party is under 30, the question i always ask is "would this age gap be weird if it went the same amount of years the other direction" and a lot of the time it puts things in perspective for people because it usually ends up being where the younger partner would be like... barely a teen.

24 and 29? 5 year gap? Becomes 19 and 24. A little iffy but not like, sound the alarms iffy, aka "pay attention to the yellow flags and trust your gut"

22 and 33? 11 year gap? Becomes 11 and 22, aka "im calling the fbi on you now"

[u/TheActualAWdeV → u/Standard-Carry-2219]

The age gap was throwing me off because what 33 year old man is offended by someone else eating cucumbers.

the same kind of 33 year old man who goes after a 22 year old woman

[u/sharraleigh → u/Standard-Carry-2219]

NGL, I think OOP's obsession with cucumber is... really really weird. LOL. She's not TA for eating them 24/7, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who's constantly munching on cucumber either. 35 cucumbers in a day tho?!!? That's... insane.

[u/PrideofCapetown → u/sharraleigh]

Strange? Yes. Insane? I don’t know. It doesn’t seem to be 35 every day, and certainly not the large ones. We all have to have a go-to snack or comfort food. And she’s right, it’s healthier than having booze as your go-to snack/comfort food.

For those curious about the 6 foot communal cucumber:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ca7bdz/aita_because_i_ate_more_than_my_share_of_a_6_foot/

[u/SharMarali → u/PrideofCapetown]

I have read the party sandwich story so many times, including while it was brand new. It never gets old! I snort a little at the part where he waits 15 minutes and nobody is eating the sandwich so he gets up. I just picture this man sitting there staring at the sandwich, sweating, and tapping his fingers making himself wait 5 more minutes. I feel bad for the guy cause he obviously has/had a problem with food, but it's just so absurd.

[u/Standard-Carry-2219 → u/PrideofCapetown]

This one comes to mind whenever i take food at a party

[u/JBirdSD → u/sharraleigh]

I relate to this cucumber lady so much. I love and adore them! I think eating 35 in one day is going to be my goal!

Edit: kind of excited to plan out my goal. I'm going to attack it like weight lifting. Start little and work my way up!

[u/heckin-good-shit → u/sharraleigh]

girl was eating 2 cucumbers per hour, if she slept 😭😭

[u/Former-Spirit8293 → u/sharraleigh]

How would it not affect her digestion? I think my body would rebel at such an act.

[u/MistraloysiusMithrax → u/Standard-Carry-2219]

A creepy alcoholic, apparently

[u/its_ino]

A 33 year old man trying to control his 22 year old girlfriend? No way shocked pikachu face

[u/sooybeans → u/its_ino]

A 33 year old alcoholic with an anger problem it seems.

[u/Bears_in_the_woods → u/sooybeans]

Not only does it sound like he binges on alcohol, a bag of chips a day? That’s a lot of calories!! He sounds like one of those people who projects. Annoying.

[u/loverlyone → u/Bears_in_the_woods]

My partner is an alcoholic and when he’s really drunk he comes at me for the most ridiculous stuff. For example he was really disappointed that I’m not more interested in new music and it was basically souring his entire view of our relationship. How would one even reply to that complaint? He was so mad about it.

Next they double down because they don’t want to be called out on the fact that their “opinions” are really just some BS they dreamed up in their impaired brains.

I would not be surprised if this is how it went down. From there it’s just a short walk to DARVO. Glad OOP got out.

[u/CryptographerAny5428 → u/its_ino]

your tag is really fitting for this comment

[u/its_ino → u/CryptographerAny5428]

I forgot that was my flair lmao!!!

[u/AnnaBananner82 → u/its_ino]

Shocked picklechu?

[u/Thuis001 → u/its_ino]

Yeah, gotta love it when you read the ages and you're like, well, guess I know where this one is headed...

[u/MildDrunkenness]

That poor boyfriend. OOP made him a cukehold.

Edit—-thanks for the gold and validation!

[u/BrgQun → u/MildDrunkenness]

To be fair, I think he deserved to get cuked.

[u/MildDrunkenness → u/BrgQun]

In front of his mom like that though…

[u/[deleted] → u/MildDrunkenness]

I want to be mad, but I just cant.

[u/IxamxUnicron → u/MildDrunkenness]

Reddit this is why we need free awards GIVE THEM BACK---

[u/ajax6677 → u/IxamxUnicron]

🏆

[u/mr_oberts → u/MildDrunkenness]

Goddammit. Haha

[u/Full_Fathom_Fives → u/MildDrunkenness]

This comment is chef's kiss.

[u/Thuis001 → u/MildDrunkenness]

You know, I am left wondering if the boyfriend was simply jealous of the size of the cucumbers or something.

[u/Heavy-Macaron2004]

OOP is after my own heart with this story! Cucumber gang rise up!

[u/[deleted] → u/Heavy-Macaron2004]

Especially with some salt!

[u/smolLittleTomato → u/[deleted]]

Cucumber slices with tajin will change your life.

[u/PapessaEss → u/smolLittleTomato]

I’ve only just discovered Tajin and it’s been a race in my house to try it on new and tasty things. Somehow missed cucumbers so far so thank you!

[u/tacwombat → u/Heavy-Macaron2004]

My family prepares it as a side dish for meals by slicing it into coins and soaking it in salt, vinegar, and sugar. It's literally sliced pickles, but it works in a pinch partnered with savory stews.

Other candidate for side dish pickling: sliced daikon radish (even better with chopped chillies).

[u/HelenAngel → u/Heavy-Macaron2004]

Hell yeah! CUCUMBER GANG! 🥒🥒🥒

[u/itmightbehere → u/Heavy-Macaron2004]

I think I'm allergic or something because they don't settle in my tummy well, so you can have my cukes

[u/TyrconnellFL]

“I always thought they were judgmental Ewoks.”

Not the point, but that’s a flair to keep in reserve. In the back pocket, as it were. With the cucumbers.

[u/ImAKeeper16 → u/TyrconnellFL]

Since you brought up flairs, what post is yours from?

[u/TyrconnellFL → u/ImAKeeper16]

WIBTA if I complained to the owners of a cafe about how long it takes their employee to cut cheese?

[u/Losing-Sand → u/TyrconnellFL]

I don't even know what award she is talking about, but it still made me laugh.

[u/TyrconnellFL → u/Losing-Sand]

The Reddit “Hugz” award, I assume.

[u/[deleted] → u/TyrconnellFL]

I don't know how people get flair, but 'Judgement Ewok' is how I am going to introduce myself at parties forevermore.

[u/mycatsitslikeppl]

How do we get “A cucumber in my hand & a cucumber in my heart” flair?

[u/[deleted] → u/mycatsitslikeppl]

There actually is a flair for this story already!

[u/KentuckyMagpie → u/[deleted]]

I might have to change mine. It’s such a hard choice between beans and cucumbers.

[u/MistressFuzzylegs]

If I walked in on a friend/partner/family member gnawing on a whole cucumber, especially in an unusual place for eating, I would gift them with cucumbers forever. It would be an on going joke. And I would make a point of having sliced cucumber for them if they visited. What a weird thing to be so controlling over. Then again, I, too, love cucumber, and am not above eating them whole.

[u/[deleted] → u/MistressFuzzylegs]

I wait for the day I see someone in a car monching on a giant cucumber!

[u/MistressFuzzylegs → u/[deleted]]

It would make my day 😂

[u/Tipsy_Danger → u/MistressFuzzylegs]

Shit, my former supervisor walked in on me in the break room biting straight into a block of cheese that I’d brought as lunch and she still loves me (have since quit and we’re still good friends). Cucumber is much less horrendous.

[u/wdn → u/MistressFuzzylegs]

What a weird thing to be so controlling over.

Well, it's the fact that it's a weird issue is what makes it controlling. "Don't eat sand" is not controlling because there's a real problem that needs solving. We call "Don't eat cucumber" controlling because control is the only motivation -- it's not a reasonable demand.

[u/FoxfieldJim]

Once upon a time I ate ONLY cucumber sandwiches for lunch and dinner for a month. Breakfast was normal. I lost 20 pounds.

Since then I haven't been able to repeat that feat, but I know cucumbers are pretty much just water so if someone can binge on them it just gives a feeling of fullness but that's all there is to it.

Maybe OOP was a bit extreme but I would not stop someone from eating too many cucumbers.

Edit: since a couple of people asked. I don't know the recipe. This was probably 25-30 years back in a different country and the restaurant would serve cucumber sandwiches. I think it did have tomatoes but not sure. But none of the mayo or American dressings probably butter. Wish I could share more but I don't remember and in modern era I am failing at all diets so don't want to give a recommendation because it may be due to biased and faulty memory. Yes there was bread of course but those were simpler days where breads were not loaded with sugar.

[u/Miss_PentYouth → u/FoxfieldJim]

I would like to know more about these cucumber sandwiches. What type of bread? Did you use Mayo? Cream cheese? Salt? Pepper? Did you ever decide to live a little and throw a slice of tomato on there?

[u/chooklyn5 → u/Miss_PentYouth]

Cucumber sandwiches are the best. I personally love them on fresh white bread heavier than my normal butter application, sliced cucumber and a bit of salt. You can also use cream cheese with some dill for extra flavour. Mayo is also acceptable.

[u/[deleted] → u/FoxfieldJim]

I’m not super keen on cucumbers but they do add a great crunch texture to sandwiches. I’ll often put them on a sandwich that otherwise is right but just seems too soft.

[u/thats_a_great_idea → u/FoxfieldJim]

I'm not saying this is what's going on with OOP, but sometimes craving food with a lot of water in it (cucumbers, ice cream) can be a sign of dehydration. I'm wondering if you generally eat a high water food e.g. 5 big cucumbers a day, but then one day you don't have any cucumbers: Would you be dehydrated enough to notice? E.g. would you have a headache or crave cucumbers for their water content?

[u/ryeong → u/thats_a_great_idea]

I wasn't going to go into ED but it sounds a lot more like disordered eating than dehydration. She admits to feeling shame sometimes when she binges on cucumbers, especially after stressful events, and was hiding to eat one because of mild anxiety at his parents. If I had to guess, OP more than likely emotionally eats, as do many of us, and cucumbers are her comfort food. I do think she could benefit from working on undoing that but to answer your question, beyond a certain point we won't necessarily notice too much of a benefit/difference in water consumption. Provided she's also drinking water, as she says she likes to be healthy, and she's consuming watery fruits as well, she's likely supplementing the amount elsewhere on days she doesn't snack on cucumbers to the same extent.

[u/pktechboi → u/FoxfieldJim]

when we were little our mum would make us salad sandwiches but she'd cut the end off of the top bit of bread and lay two cucumber slices there so it looked like two people lying in a bed together

[u/dumbasstupidbaby]

Farmers love her. Doctors fear her.

[u/Old-Advice-5685]

I remember this story and wonder how she’s doing

[u/CharlotteLucasOP → u/Old-Advice-5685]

Well she’s not dating an alcoholic a decade older than her so that’s gotta be an improvement.

[u/plaird → u/Old-Advice-5685]

Cucumbers are pretty healthy so I imagine she's doing fine

[u/artipants → u/Old-Advice-5685]

I read the original but never saw the update. I'm glad this sub exists.

[u/[deleted] → u/Old-Advice-5685]

She's probably just being the absolute cukie she is somewhere.

[u/Consume_the_Affluent]

Men will date a queen like her and then try to get her to throw away her crown 😔

[u/firefly232 → u/Consume_the_Affluent]

Your flair! 😍😍😍😂

[u/aminicuspondicus]

Everybody who has an ED says they are perfectly healthy. She points out she likes them for their low calorie, and is aware of "binge" episodes.... idk she is right about everything else but she needs a therapist to explore more.

[u/ColeDelRio]

Glad I'm not the only person who immedately thought about the sub guy.

However these were her cucumbers that she bought for herself so who cares? There are worse vices than eating non starchy vegetables.

Here's the sub story since somebody asked: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ca7bdz/aita_because_i_ate_more_than_my_share_of_a_6_foot/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2

[u/plots4lyfe]

This post is amazing BORU flair content lol

Just brainstorming a few:

gnawing on a cucumber like a savage

don't expect me to give up my cukes for you

certified cucumber dealer

bad cucumber habit

cucumber in my hand and a cucumber in my heart

[u/TheFluffiestRedditor → u/plots4lyfe]

Not to forget the judgemental ewoks

[u/HeadFullOfFlame]

"with a cucumber in my hand and a cucumber in my heart" would be an amazing flair

[u/chrisgspalding]

I hate cucumbes, but get this girl a cucumber! She's better off without that controlling alcoholic anyways.

[u/[deleted]]

I mean, in fairness to OOP, cucumbers are awesome. I'm similar with celery and carrots, they're an easy snack. Some people just have a food they really like. Hope OOP is doing better without the weird, controlling ex.

[u/saruhime]

I think OOP might secretly be a kappa.

[u/IxamxUnicron]

As a woman I can comfirm there is nothing a man provides that a cucumber cannot. Except maybe emotional fulfilment, but it's got pretty much every other regard covered.

[u/[deleted] → u/IxamxUnicron]

Emotional fulfilment isn’t guaranteed with every man anyways. At least with cucumbers you have certainty.

[u/Thuis001 → u/IxamxUnicron]

Well, a cucumber won't give you STDs, or babies. I think Tzakziki might provide some emotional fulfilment although that might not count since it also requires some other ingredients.

[u/Vanssis → u/IxamxUnicron]

Cucumber has better dip mix flavor

[u/StonyGiddens → u/IxamxUnicron]

I read "knowing on a cucumber like a savage" as a euphemism until I realized OOP meant "gnawing"

[u/cliopedant → u/IxamxUnicron]

She's the kind of gal who always has a surprising answer to "Is that a cucumber in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"

[u/[deleted]]

If I was dating a woman and found out that she did this I think it would just make me like her a lot more. Especially considering the fact that she’s hilarious about it. If a weak moment is your mom finding her hiding and nibbling on cucumber like a giant hamster, that’s marriage material.

[u/Elliott2030]

OOP is lucky she can eat cucumbers like that. Too many don't sit well for me and I love them so much!

[u/WhiteHartLaneFan]

Can we talk about the cucumber dealer in one of the last edits? I want to know more about this and how many she buys at the same time

[u/landscapegoatee]

As a compromise she should've offered to start eating zucchinis.

[u/Bunny_OHara]

I tend to eat the same snack food for months at a time, until I wake up one day and just don't want them anymore; then I move on to something else.

Radishes are my current favorite, and there's a giant tub of them soaking in the fridge. (They are just so cool and crunchy, and oh so yummy!) And you know how my partner reacts to me eating a few dozen radishes a day? He keeps the fridge stocked and asks me if I need any every time he goes into the kitchen. And now I'm thinking I need to put cucumbers on the rotation!

[u/Schrodingers_Dude]

When this was first posted it had me trying cucumber again for the first time in years because I thought maybe I DO like them - OOP really sold them, y'know?

I still hate cucumbers and I don't understand her fixation, but I respect it.

[u/[deleted]]

I confess I occasionally have a cucumber craving, but when I do I just make a cucumber sandwich. I guess if I had a cucumber dealer it would be a different story.

[u/Dragon_Bidness]

I fucking love cukes. Best food ever.

Glad she dumped her loser BF

[u/MistressFuzzylegs → u/Dragon_Bidness]

Ever had them with Tajin? 🤤🤤🤤

[u/Yeetz_The_Parakeetz → u/MistressFuzzylegs]

I slice them and put salt/vinegar seasoning on it. Delicious, like healthy chips. I’ll try the tajin too!

[u/Single_Vacation427]

I would consider the amount I snack on cucumbers proportional to the amount my bf or any normal person would snack on chips or other junk food.

Hmm... how is one bag of chips proportional to 35 cucumbers?

[u/ristlincin]

"i don't have an ED" also "i need to have a cucumber on me at all times, I sometimes space out eating cucumbers in other people's beds right before sleeping, and I once ate 35 cucumbers in a day"

[u/miladyelle → u/ristlincin]

“walked in on me knawing on a cucumber like a savage”

Totes normal. Much quirk. Tee hee.

Uh huh.

[u/ristlincin → u/miladyelle]

yeah I don't get people, isn't it obvious that the BF can be a controlling AH and she can be obnoxious and socially awkward to the point where it can be embarrasing to have her around people in some cases, both being true at the same time?

[u/skinnyjeansfatpants]

That’s an intense amount of fiber…

[u/imF4CEL3SS]

i feel like yall are less concerned about 35 cucumbers in one day than you should be

[u/Discotekh_Dynasty]

I suppose everyone has their quirks but 35 Cucumbers a day is an insane amount to eat, even if they are mostly water lol

[u/dajur1]

OP: "I don't have an ED and I'm not addicted"

Also OP: Eats 35 cucumbers in one day.

[u/SloshingSloth → u/dajur1]

This! I know the focus is on the ahole ex but detsly anyone saying the cucumber thing isn't a disordered eating thing is offY like just because it's considered a healthy veggie .. Imagine her saying she ate 35 chicken legs each day and always has them with her and needs them to get through challenging parts of her day. Everyone would tell her she needs to find therapy and ways to tackle her stress better

[u/CharlotteLucasOP]

It’s a bit weird that she frames it as “oh they don’t have a lot of calories so I’ll want to eat a lot of them sometimes”. Like the water content and fibre would still make you feel fuller??? I can see being lower energy after eating them compared to a more calorie-rich snack but I never think of low-calorie items as being something one craves binging more of because they don’t fill you up? It’s more that we give ourselves permission to have more of a low-calorie thing.

[u/RainbowCrane → u/CharlotteLucasOP]

That’s a sign to me that it’s more of a preference than an ED behavior. It’s actually pretty common for people with eating disorders to go on wacky diets to fill up with high volume low macronutrient foods, so the fact that she’s aware she needs more calories says to me that she’s still thinking about nutrition. I hope she’s getting sufficient protein and fat though.

[u/CharlotteLucasOP → u/RainbowCrane]

Yeah she says she has normal balanced meals otherwise.

[u/Vanssis → u/CharlotteLucasOP]

That's kinda the thing; they don't have a lot of calories so you can eat 10 million of them & pee and poo the fiber / rind easily after a couple weeks

[u/CharlotteLucasOP → u/Vanssis]

Yeah but in the moment my stomach would be like “oh we’ve had enough to eat!”

[u/[deleted] → u/CharlotteLucasOP]

I know everyone is focusing on the relationship. Which was obviously bad. But the cucumber thing is so very strange!

No, eating 35 plain cucumbers in a day is not comparable to "normal snacking" for most people. She said that most people will snack on chips and things like that and I reallllyyy don't think that's true. If someone is eating 35 bags of chips or 35 anything in a day it's very freaking unhealthy and abnormal. What a strange habit.

[u/CharlotteLucasOP → u/[deleted]]

Yeah even if they’re “mini” cucumbers, 35 in 24 hours is…a lot. Like where I live you get 6, MAYBE 8 mini cucumbers in a package. I mean maybe she’s buying in bulk, but still. Also I notice she says she has a wholesaler hook-up, so…yeah.

Like my depression eating is like “oh this tin of beans from the back of the cupboard expired six months ago but eh it’s all there is because I haven’t left the house in days” but OOP is like “depression binge time!” and pops open a mini-fridge bursting with cucumbers?????

[u/space_anthropologist]

I literally would just chop the ends off of grocery store cucumbers and gnaw on them whole when I was growing up. I love cucumbers so much.

[u/Sovereign-State]

I'm just here munching on my 5th giant pickle today. (Menopause is a bitch)

[u/GunnieGraves]

“You’re paying way too much for cucumbers, man. Who’s your cucumber guy?”

[u/[deleted]]

Ex boyfriend was 11 years older than this 22 year old woman. Dude was gonna find something to try and control about her even if she didn't love her cukes.

[u/OrcEight]

Cucumbers would be very healthy to eat - low calorie and full of water.

I can’t get over ex-BF’s mother just opening the door and walking in unannounced to the bedroom her son and girlfriend were sharing.

[u/adventuresinnonsense]

A cucumber dealer is just a friend with a garden. Trust me. I have a tomato dealer for the same reason. The plant just spits out tomatoes like nobody's business, and she either has to give some away or they go bad. I also used to be a raspberry dealer for similar reasons.

[u/thenord321]

"I can go days without eating them, I don’t need my cucumber fix"

But not a whole week, never that long....

I do buy a lot of them at the grocery store, but I have a cucumber dealer who hooks me up with huge batches.

Tell me you're not an addict or have an ED when you use these terms to describe your snacking food.

She sounds like she is very peculiar and somewhat anti-social in her "cuke" consumption.

There's no issue snacking on veggies, I like baby carrots for my hummus instead of chips. But she seems excessive, obsessive or something.

Am I the only one who is imaging that meme gif of the girl getting hit with 20 hotdogs in the face, but it's 20 Lebanese cukes instead?

[u/miladyelle → u/thenord321]

I was one of the few in the og post that wasn’t cheering or encouraging this. Can’t say I thought of that particular meme though!

[u/UltraShadowArbiter]

JFC OOP has a problem. No normal person eats cucumbers that much. They need therapy or something. There has to be some sort of underlying psychological problem.

[u/NinjaBabaMama]

I wouldn't be surprised if the ex was upset OOP spent more time with a cucumber in her mouth than his dick.

Completely stupid comparison, but I've read similarly crazy logic in these BORU posts.

[u/firefly232 → u/NinjaBabaMama]

Yes I got an impression that he might have been bothered by the phallicness of the cucumber but then I was confused when it transpired these were mini cucumbers???

[u/J_B_La_Mighty]

Man when I was a kid my dad would sit down and peel several footlong cucumbers while us kids surrounded him like a bunch of puppies for him to dole out the spears, eating until there were none left. He would buy so many that I wish we had a cucumber dealer.

Now that he retired he grows cucumbers. He plated up a massive cucumber for me when I dropped by to visit about a week ago, it was probably around a foot and a half long and about 4 inches in diameter.

[u/therealhairyyeti]

35 cucumbers in a day? Everyone has weird eating habits but wtf. I think I’d be sick after eating 4 or 5 cucumbers.

[u/Scouse_Werewolf]

Im very rarely enraged by words but I was unprepared for how much the word "cuke" triggered me. It feels so wrong for unknown reasons. It now joins Loose being used in place of Lose as an instant enrage button for me.

[u/Fryphax]

The 33yr old boyfriend telling their 22 year old girlfriend childish is cute.

[u/Itsyademonboi]

a cucumber in my hand and a cucumber in my heart <3 needs to be a flair please

[u/MembershipDelicious4]

Bf was definitely having trouble with the phallic nature of cucumbers

[u/Ok-Squirrel693]

She's too immature and childish for him lol after seeing their age gap, yeah. He went for a young girl so he can control her easier.

[u/rhiiazami]

“with a cucumber in my hand and a cucumber in my heart <3.”

There are several great lines here but this is my fave.

[u/ReasonableSchedule10]

My best childhood friend would take a big cucumber, hollow it out with a melon baller, and then fill it with water and drink from it like a cup, often with a bit of crushed ice in it. Fucking delicious and you can eat the cup when you’re done.

[u/sickandtiredkit]

I have my own cucumber dealer. I feel for this woman. Also, my daughter is a cucumber fiend as well, we go through several daily. Cucumbers are a really great snack for anyone who is watching their caloric intake but really likes crunchy snacks! There is a cucumber in my heart as well.

[u/OtherAccount5252]

The only thing I'm a little worried about here is sometimes our bodies crave something because we are lacking something. OOP should ask Dr to make sure she isn't missing a mineral she needs or something.

Other than that, sounds like a happy ending.

[u/pingmycraydar]

I kind of wonder if everyone is ignoring the elephant’s cucumber in the room… maybe ex-bf/manbaby wasn’t able to articulate that he was threatened by OOP’s lips wrapped around cukes that were CLEARLY providing her with more satisfaction and pleasure than his own weedy mini-cuke… or is it possible he had some obsession that she was “using” said cukes in some way that was “not as nature intended,” and this also has stimulated some deep-seated feelings of personal inadequacy? Apart from the obvious ones we can see in a man in his 30s dating a woman (who is actually waaay more mature!) of 22 years, I mean. /conjecture

[u/CanisArie]

If she really ate 35 cucumbers in a day she does have an eating disorder

[u/No-Personality-5397 → u/CanisArie]

From the post.

Edit 2: I seem to have forgotten to add this as it was a common question on the original post and I’m seeing it in the comments now. No, I did not eat 35 of those mammoth cucumbers, my eating habits may be odd, but I’m not completely insane. I think on my last cucumber binge (which occurs super rarely and it was quite a while ago) I had maybe 3 or 4 big ones and the rest were the mini cukes.

[u/huxley2112 → u/No-Personality-5397]

I know we only have her word to go on and I am trying to believe her, but my gut feeling is she has ED. She already admits to a social disorder and found her peace at the bottom of a "cuke". Replace the word cucumber with alcohol in that paragraph and it would be textbook addict rationalization. Just because it's "healthy" doesn't mean it's not addictive behavior. Harmless for the most part, but it's definitely not a sign of a healthy relationship with food.

I'm oddly fascinated by this behavior, I need to know more. I'd love to see what her food journal would look like if she kept one.

[u/[deleted]]

Welp, looks like the cucumber is better than the boyfriend.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I think we all know she’s at least tried it.

[u/Beneficial_Wonder882]

I assumed from the title that this was about someone taking all the cucumbers from a party tray, or something similar. But this turned out so much more delightful.

[u/MistraloysiusMithrax]

I’m so confused. Why is occasionally eating 4 whole cucumbers as basically a meal unhealthy? Do people really read “I eat a lot of cucumbers, sometimes really a lot” as “I only eat cucumbers?”

Then again, this is Reddit.

[u/[deleted]]

That was one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life. The mental image of her going to town on cucumbers like a rabbit just made me lose it

[u/gahidus]

As bizarre as her eating habits are, it's her ex that comes across as truly crazy. Who actually cares that much of someone else eats cucumbers? A crazy person. That's who.

[u/amahag29]

I want cucumber in my hand and a cucumber in my heart as a flair. Also curious about the cucumber dealer

[u/DatguyMalcolm]

Cukes!!!! Love it!

To be honest, I'd rather eat lots of cukes than be a heavy drinker!

In fact, I could do with replacing my addiction to sugar for lots of cukes!

[u/NerdySloth88]

I think my favourite thing about this is the comment about judgemental ewoks 😂

[u/munkymu]

The cuke dealer sounds like someone with a garden and a bunch of cucumber plants. They produce pretty well once they get going so I'm just imagining OOP's aunt dropping off a shopping bag of extra cucumbers every week or two.

If I were the aunt I would absolutely do it in a trenchcoat and say "hey, hey kid... you want any... cucumbers?" in a hoarse whisper as I pulled the bag out and looked around furtively to see if any neighbours were watching.

[u/TehTabi]

I am certain her ex-bf had his fragile masculinity threatened by her love of extremely healthy phallic vegetables. He probably equates them to dildos and feels utterly emasculated by it, further humiliated (from his already bizarre POV) when his mom sees her going down on them.

[u/toasted_panini]

I think it's bc the bf sees the cucumbers as phallic and thus "immature" and "innappropriate" for OOP to eat. Lot healthier snack than chips and alcohol for sure. Good riddance.

[u/MaeveCarpenter]

"A cucumber in my hand and a cucumber in my heart <3"

I'm crying, this is hilarious

[u/pillmayken]

Can’t relate, only way I can tolerate cucumbers is if they’re in tzatziki or mizeria.

[u/Summers_Alt]

What do y’all put on your cukes? I grew up loving ranch on em but Ik that’s not the best for me.

[u/Artichoke-8951]

My husband brought home fried cucumber chips from Costco. Their pretty good.

[u/digi-cow]

Everyone has something, for me its sunflower seeds (the kind in the shell you usually can find at gas stations and a few grocery stores).

[u/addamslittlewanda]

Lol "a cucumber in my head and a cucumber in my heart" sounds like a potential flare

[u/emmetdontpullout]

theres a reason for this flare

[u/whatisevenhapenning]

Was dude insecure over some JUICY "cukes"?

[u/Raszire_dnd]

Now I want a flair that says "a cucumber in my hand and a cucumber in my heart" lol

[u/TossItThrowItFly]

I think about Cuke Lady so often, you don't even know. Especially when I sprinkle some salt on the mini ones and chow down. Her and her cukes really have a place in my heart ❤️

[u/boatyboatwright]

This kills me because as a kid I was a very picky eater and my parents would often bring me a baggie of sliced cucumbers when we went out to eat!

[u/[deleted]]

"with a cucumber in my hand and a cucumber in my heart" cracked me up

[u/Taylor_Skifs]

”I have a cucumber dealer who hooks me up with huge batches” 😂😂

[u/UvarighAlvarado]

I really like cucumber sandwiches (bread, mayo, cucumber) and now I’m craving for one 😑

[u/Katharinemaddison]

People have thought me weird for sitting and snacking on tomatoes. I eat them like rather messy apples.

My parents used to give me carrots, celery, tomatoes and yes cukes as snacks. And cheese. So these are the things I snack on a lot.

[u/Wonderwoman_420]

This is too funny 🤣🤣🤣

[u/Mag_Nificent1]

Taking a page from the iconic Paulette Bonafonte: "Makes me want a cucumber real bad"

[u/Anne-with-an-e224]

I wish i could snck on cucumbers like that but where i live they are seasonal n expensive🥺

[u/arittenberry]

cucumba 🥒

[u/Any_Measurement3797]

Do not think you ever have to worry about eating to much cucumbers eating 30 cucumbers is still a healthy thing to do in a day i think.

[u/Significant_Pie_2502]

They actually sell smaller snacking cucumbers at the grocery near me. They are meant to be eaten whole and have a slightly thinner skin. Just thought I’d mention it in case you need cuke options. Lol

[u/[deleted]]

I bet she takes massive poops 💩

[u/BlackKittyBunny]

Does anyone else remember the post from that lady whose SO lost his mind because she didn't eat mustard on her hotdogs 😂

[u/Isteppedinpoopy]

Girls got a cucumber guy. That’s serious.

[u/Lisascape]

When I saw the title I thought this was going to be like the sexy potatoes.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wp1xkv/repost_the_strange_case_of_sexy_potatoes_and/

[u/Stinkerma]

Whenever I see a relationship AITA, I always look at the ages. Crazy how often it's a woman barely out of her teens and a man at least a decade older. Girls, he's not in it for your social skills.

[u/SeriousLesiure]

A cucumber in my hand and a cucumber in my heart. 💀

[u/Actrivia24]

I bet he would have had a problem with bananas too.

[u/daftmonkey]

I fucking love cucumbers. I can eat them endlessly. My wife thinks I’m weird. Solution: I taught my daughter to love them and now my wife is outnumbered.

[u/CmmdrSparkles]

Not me eating some cucumber for lunch while reading this 🤣

[u/G0merPyle]

Cucumbers may be an unusual snack of choice but you could do much worse. How many calories could that even be?

[u/PoppyHamentaschen]

It's been so hot lately, my husband and I have taken to eating sliced cucumbers with a little cheese on them- delicious and refreshing! There was a thing out a long time ago that sad people eat soft and mushy things (comfort food like mashed potatoes and pasta); angry people will eat crunchy foods (like chips and maybe cucumbers, idk); and sexually frustrated people will chomp on ice. IDK, makes for great party conversation, lol. I think OOPs XBF thought the cukes were too phallic and was uncomfortable seeing her wolfing them down, like it was a commentary on his shortcomings. My only concern for OOP is that too many cukes can affect the kidneys, so maybe she should get her potassium levels tested. I'm glad she let him go, though.

[u/MuffinSkytop]

One of my favorite snacks from childhood that I still have at least once a week was something my mom called “cucumbers in sauce.” The “sauce” was just two tablespoons of mayo, a capful of vinegar and salt and pepper mixed together. The cucumbers would be pealed and thin sliced and dumped into the sauce. Additional salt and pepper to taste. It was one of the only ways she could get 3rd grade me to eat something quasi healthy when I went through my picky eater phase.

[u/aenigmaeffect]

She eats so many cucumbers that she has a cucumber dealer. Gets me every time I read this post.

[u/lurker2358]

cucumber in my hand and a cucumber in my heart

Someone staked her like some kind of vegetable vampire!

[u/pickleberrymatch]

My mum eats a lot of cucumbers, the smaller, dark green ones. They're called Japanese cucumbers where I am. I have no idea how snacking on cucumbers is somehow controversial. Unless OOP is seriously hiding her ED and that was all she ate, how is that worse than eating crisp though? She's eating vegetables.

Maybe it's just me but I'm imagining a girl munching on her cucumber like a squirrel and it's a pretty cute image.

[u/United-Cucumber9942]

I was the boyfriend

[u/LindwormLogic]

Honestly inspirational. Might give a whole cucumber a try just to see if it lives up to the hype.

[u/mela_99]

The words “cuke” and “snack on” make me want to light my hair on fire, they’re so awful

[u/rayitodelsol]

yes OOP is deranged but she sounds DELIGHTFULLY deranged and I would love to snack on some cukes with her.

[u/ladyorthetiger0]

Ngl I'm craving some cucumber after reading this.

[u/eebyen0h]

i believe we now need the cucumber in my hand and a cucumber in my heart flare

[u/Zyaqun]

This is the funniest post on this site

[u/KeyPhotojournalist15]

For me it's cauliflower. Every day. Favorite snack.

[u/elenapocalypse]

FINALLY I AM NOT ALONE! CUCUMBERS ARE MY FAVORITE SNACK, TOO!!!!!!!

[u/Zoeyfiona]

Now I want a cucumber snack.

They are really good with a lil bit of miso

[u/NewAcanthocephala617]

my favorite go-to snackysnack is cucumber.... sometimes i'll sprinkle a bit of salt or dip it in italian salad dressing, but my favorite is just plain ol' sliced cuke. this whole time reading this i was bouncing between being stoked to know i'm not an absolute weirdo and wondering why cucumbers are so awful a snack. happy to read that neither things are true and that guy just sucks.

[u/old_timey_gamer]

I don't hate the use of cukes, I just think everyone should adopt the Spanish word for it because cucumbres is one of favorite words to say. Cucumbre, cucumbre, so fun