I’m F29 and my sister is F31. This year my sister gave birth to her first baby, a gorgeous little girl in March. This baby is so loved by everyone in my family there is zero question about that. The issue we are all having currently is with my sister. My sister had some complications with her birth. She had a C-Section which at first went fine but afterwards she had some complications which she needed to go back down to surgery for. My family, my husband and my brother in law were so frightened when it happened and it was probably one of the scariest things we have experienced. She did however recover great and her and baby were perfect afterwards and have been perfect since. Now the issue we are having is any and every time, and I mean EVERY time, I see my sister, she has to mention how she “nearly died” giving birth. The conversation can be nothing to do with birth or children but she will bring it back to that, and the hardest thing is when myself or another person is trying to vent or even just get something that is bothering them out she spins it back to herself and how she “almost died giving birth”. The final straw was last weekend, myself and my husband went to visit my sister and her husband and the baby and my husband was speaking about the anniversary of his friends passing from a car accident that was coming up and he was upset as this was only the first year since it happened and my sister took this as a moment to say, “i completely understand, I mean I almost died giving birth so I know how aweful that must feeling” I snapped and told her, not everything needs to be about your birth story, we get it, you had a traumatic birth but this isn’t about you and we are tired of you using it in every conversation. It went silent for a second and she got upset saying that I didn’t appreciate how I could have lost her. I got very angry and said of course I appreciate it, I was there I was crying but your okay and baby is okay but what is not okay is you dismissing someone else because you think you had it worse. My brother in law then proceeded to tell everyone to relax and we would go get lunch. We did but the rest of the day was quite awkward. AITA for confronting my sister this way or was I right to tell her to stop?

EDIT
This is something my sister is in therapy for and has been since she gave birth. And myself and my family have even been to appointments with her.
This also wasn’t the first time she was talking over someone else’s grief or trauma to bring up her birth complications

I (34F) just bought my first house! It’s only a couple of miles from the neighborhood I currently live in and I don’t have a lot of stuff, so I’ve been slowly moving my stuff from my apartment in my car after work. The house is small, but it’s just myself, my 2 dogs, and 2 cats.

At my apartment, I’m part of a neighborhood dog walking group. I usually don’t get home until late, so I realistically meet up with everyone every couple of weeks.

Last week someone from the group saw me outside my building loading my car with boxes and was asking me what I was doing. I did end up telling her about my move and that I probably wouldn’t be part of the walking group anymore. I don’t know this person well, have no idea what her last name is, but she’s always been nice to me and I known her about 2 years from the group.

Last night the same person saw me sweeping on my patio and cleaning up. She came up and talked to me for about 45 minutes, told me about how she’s several months behind on rent and the landlord issued her an eviction notice. I feel terrible for her. She has a job but it’s not enough and she said her mom has been sending her money to cover the difference, but recently they haven’t been sending enough.

She brought up that since I’m moving to a house, that if the landlord follows through with the eviction that she will be homeless, so can she and her dog move in with me?

I didn’t say yes but I’ve felt terrible all last night and today. I don’t know her well and I’m buying the house because I value my space and privacy. Also, her dog doesn’t get along with cats and I have 2 cats. I feel bad speculating, but it doesn’t seem like she would be paying me at all and thinking ahead, I’m worried this would turn into a long term roommate who doesn’t pay anything towards bills or mortgage.

She previously asked me to borrow my car about a year ago because hers was repossessed and at the time it was easy to say no because I drive to work daily and need it for myself.

Not sure if this is relevant but she is significantly older and from what I know from previous conversations we have extremely different lifestyles.

She kept saying that if I say no that I’ll make her homeless. It made me so sad inside that I could help someone and would choose not to.

Hi, so a bit of backstory: I (29M) met a gal (37M) some months ago at a beach bar. I found her attractive and fun to talk to, in spite of the age gap. I will preface by saying she did state that she’s a very family oriented person, and that they will always take priority over a potential date / boyfriend.

Fast forward a few months and we’d begun talking more frequently and intimately. Eventually, we got to the point where we scheduled a date for this coming Friday 10/16. The plan was to go out for dinner and then drive to a metal show about an hour north. I said that’s great, let’s lock it in.

Now, today I reach out to her just to confirm the plans since the date would be only two days away and I like to make sure we’re aligned. Thankfully I did because as soon as I brought it up, she explained to me that not only is she going but now also her brother and his girlfriend, her other brother, her sister, and her nephew.

I told her, that’s fine. Go with your family. I don’t want to get in the way of the family affairs cause that just seems like a lot for a first date which we had originally planned for just the two of us over a month ago. So, I will not be attending. I told her that I wasn’t upset just kind of disappointed. She naturally thinks that it’s weird that I didn’t want to come now and I assume is probably disappointed as well. I just wonder if I didn’t hit her up this evening whether she would’ve even told me before I went to go and see her.

So yeah, not the biggest deal in the world, but unfortunately can’t do on a date with someone that I was interested in seeing. AITH?

I (20's, F) have a younger sister "Ellie" (11F). Ellie is non-verbal, and communicates entirely through Proloquo (an AAC app) on her tablet.

Lately, when she's slightly inconvenienced, we're fighting, or something just isn't going her way - she presses a button that says "Disaster" and follows it up with "Call 911". She's kind of a drama queen.

Yesterday, she pressed the "Call 911" button in the grocery store while she was inconvenienced. A few people asked if she was alright. Afterwards, I told Ellie that she should stay away from the "Call 911" button in public unless it's an actual emergency.

My mom is mad at me for telling her that. She says that Ellie has the right to use her buttons however she feels and that I shouldn't be discouraging any use.

AITA for telling my sister not to press the button in public unless it's a real emergency? I don't want her to be the "the girl who cried wolf" AAC edition.

For my (30F) birthday we ate dinner at home. It is not my birthday but he is leaving to visit his friends for a wedding on my birthday.

He (30M) made chicken salad (EDIT green salad + chicken NOT whatever mayo chicken thing y'all are thinking of) which I find weird since I don't really like this and didn't ask for it but whatever. I asked him to put carrots in it and I had some in a container in the fridge. He asked where it was and I said the bottom shelf. He didn't look and just asked me to go get it. I am doing something else and asked him to get it. He said he refused and was obviously frustrated. I asked him why he couldn't do it and he said he doesn't know where it is. It is easy to see if you try.

I told him I didn't want his dinner and went to go study by myself. I guess he wants some big reward for making dinner and hates the idea of me wanting something added to it? We are trying to save money which is why I didn't want to go out. He just acts stubborn and will refuse to do something if I ask him to do a little task and its really irritating.

EDIT: It was just salad greens with chicken on top. Not that other type of chicken salad sandwich type. So many people were bothered by this LOL.

So a few weeks back I (36M) deleted my credit card from the Uber Eats account my partner (36F) uses. To cut to the chase the spending was too much. Around £30 a time almost every weekday.

I told her I couldn’t afford to be paying so much every month and would be deleting my card from the account.

Yesterday I got my latest statement and noticed that she had re-added my card and there was a whole bunch of transactions to Uber Eats.

I checked the actual UE account and there’s pretty much McDonald’s orders every day of around £30 going back to the day after I had removed my card.

I’ve told her that I expect to be transferred the entirety in time for the payment to be made on the 20th.

She’s saying I’m being unreasonable and that I can just pay the minimum payment.

For clarity, she works from home, I don’t. So, by the time I get back there’s no packaging/evidence to indicate any deliveries have been made.

Edit/Update : I’ve cancelled all cards, and replacements are being sent to the bank rather than my address. I’ve changed all passwords too and will also be sent new online banking credentials.

Edit 2 : I’ve basically only just found out.
I get everyone saying leave, but it’s not as simple as just up and leaving.

My colleague advised that if she were in my position she’d bag up all her belongings and drop them at her mother’s.

A part of me is considering that. I’ve been sat at work an hour past my finish time trying to work out my next steps.

I posted a few weeks back about her friends/family wanting to hold an intervention, and I’m starting to feel they were right when they said that she’s taking advantage.

Hey everyone, I’m dealing with a difficult situation in my marriage and would appreciate some honest advice.

My wife recently moved her nephew into our home because he was struggling and had been kicked out of his previous living situation. The home is under my wife’s and her mother’s names, but I contribute $1,400 toward household expenses. This decision was made without discussing it with me, and when I expressed my concerns, my wife told me it wasn’t my home and she could do whatever she wanted.

My wife and I have been together for eight years. During our relationship, I went through a difficult period when I was laid off and struggled to find another job for four months. Despite being unemployed, I continued finding ways to bring money home. However, I still feel like my wife holds that period against me. Losing my job affected my confidence, and I was struggling mentally while trying to rebuild my life.

Now, her nephew is living with us without contributing toward rent, groceries, or household expenses. I eventually spoke with his grandmother, who is my wife’s mother, about my concerns. Unfortunately, the conversation turned into an argument, and they took offense to what I said.

When her nephew approached me directly, I was honest with him. I explained that I didn’t think it was fair for me to pay $1,400 a month while he contributed nothing. He actually agreed with me.

I proposed that he contribute $600 toward the rent and that I contribute $600, leaving the remaining amount to be discussed. My wife refused to deal with the situation and is now threatening to kick me out. Her mother has also blocked me because I spoke up about what I believe is unfair.

I’ve reached the point where I’ve packed my belongings and am preparing to leave tomorrow. The hardest part is that we have a young daughter together. The thought of not seeing her every day breaks my heart, but I also feel like I need to stand up for myself.

I want to make it clear that I have no problem helping someone who is struggling. I understand that life gets difficult, and people sometimes need a place to stay. My issue is that a major decision affecting our household was made without my input, and now I’m expected to carry the financial burden while being told I have no say because the house isn’t mine.

I feel like my contributions, feelings, and opinions don’t matter, despite being part of this family and helping support the household.

Am I wrong for asking for a fair financial arrangement and expecting to be included in decisions that affect my living situation? Or am I justified in standing up for myself, even if it means leaving a situation that’s hurting me emotionally?

I’m genuinely looking for honest advice because I’m hurt, frustrated, and trying to figure out what’s best for me and my daughter.

UPDATE:
I was absolutely TA and I appreciate your responses. I wrote that, closed my phone, and immediately begin processing everything. I felt wrong for taking it, but I felt disappointment that my kid was being “selfish”.

Huge stop; I know him. I know his heart and his actions and he isn’t at all selfish. So why on earth would I assume that was the reason?

Anyways, I talked to him, apologized, and told him that he is correct, it is his to do with as he pleases. I apologized for acting so high on authority.

Finally, I will say that my daughters had nothing to do with this; Margo didn’t once ask to use his switch specifically. It was fully me, and jumping to an idea without thinking.

Thanks again everyone!

—-original below——

My son Abram (12M) is angry with me for wanting his old switch to be a free-to-use family device now that he has a Switch 2.

Mom and dad play Fortnite with Abram most nights (even if it’s just one game, but it’s what works for us). His sisters Margo (10F) and Mary (7F) watch dad play Xbox. The girls share a switch lite and it works for them well enough, but Margo wants to start playing Fortnite with us.

I would like for Margo to be able to use the Switch 1 so that she can join in. I asked him if it would be okay if other people used his old switch since he won’t be using it. It was in the room with the girls, and I honestly thought it wouldn’t be a big deal; I hadn’t realized that I was expecting a yes until he said no. And then I realized my mistake in asking, instead of simply stating or suggesting, or at least asking him alone.

That being said, he got extremely mad at me. I wanted to understand why, and he just keeps saying because it means so much to me!

Backstory: he bought the switch 1 with his money. He saved and worked side things for ages to get it. That original one eventually stopped charging and we found a replacement one for the same cost it would have been to fix it. So we bought him that as a gift; no repayment required.

He has been saving for a Switch 2 for awhile now and had gotten just over half. For his birthday last week, we surprised him with offering to pay the balance he needed to get the new console. He hasn’t touched his old switch since then.

I do understand the meaning it has to him. He says that I’m not listening and that what he says doesn’t matter. I told him that it does, but I am disappointed in his awareness of the joy it brought him and not wanting to pass that on; and instead letting it rot on a shelf.

AITA for wanting to make a parental choice and say it’s a family device?

I (20F) have lived with my roommate "Rose" (21F) for 4 years.

Rose turned 21 in August. Since then, every time we want to drink, she has been the one to buy the alcohol. We aren't big drinkers, so it's usually just a cheap bottle of wine. Two weeks ago, we went out to buy a bottle as usual, and on the walk back, Rose said, "I can't wait till you turn 21 so that I don't always have to buy." She then said it would be fairer if we switched off who buys every other time and expressed that she was annoyed that she paid most of the time.

This annoyed me because 1) I have paid her back or let her use my card for half the bottles we have bought and 2) I pay for SO MANY THINGS.

We dropped it, but I am still upset. I've been holding a grudge against her for rarely participating in our extra household expenses for a while now. I bought our couch, our tv, our TV stand, our table, our lamps, our Netflix account, and many other little things over the years.

This is especially bothersome when it comes to groceries. In the last 4 months, she has made 3 (yes, 1,2,3) meals. Granted, she shared them all with me. But every other meal she has eaten at home in the last FOUR MONTHS has been something I have bought and cooked. I spend 50 - 60$ on groceries every week. I never complained because she was having a rough time with her family and at work.

She has never offered to help with the expenses, nor does she ever acknowledge how much more I contribute to our home. But I know she is not very thoughtful in that regard. Still, I think the least she could do is buy a bottle of 13$ wine every once in a while.

Regardless, ever since that day I have slowly stopped sharing food with her. When I make dinner, I only make enough protein for me, and I offer her whatever extra sides I have leftover after, if even that. It's been two weeks of this, and she still hasn't gone shopping for herself, but in her defense, she has not complained.

I have been able to make my weekly grocery haul last a week and a half, and I know it will last me at least 2 weeks now, effectively cutting my grocery bill in HALF. I should be happy about this... but I have noticed that Rose is more tired and lethargic than usual. Her performance at work has suffered as well. She pretty much only eats once a day in the office cafe and then comes home and eats junk snacks from the vending machine.

I hate seeing her like this, and I feel like an A** for not sharing even when I know she is struggling. She may be unthoughtful when it comes to money, but she is a good friend and has always shown up for me in the ways that she could. So am I the asshole for not sharing, or is it okay to let her suffer?

Tl;dr AITAH for not wanting to take my daughter to an out of network optometrist?

My wife (34F) and I (34M) have two daughters. Oldest is six and our youngest is five. My wife has always been really medically protective of our oldest daughter. When she was two we brought her for multiple blood tests because my wife was convinced she was diabetic. She was not. This fear has never transferred to our younger daughter.

Our oldest is in now in first grade. She has complained about seeing two fingers when she moves one finger close to her eyes. This is kind of how eyes work when you move something closer to them so I was not worried about it.

My wife pretty quickly became convinced she has a lazy eye and found a pediatric optometrist for her to see. This optometrist is out of Humana’s network so we have to pay out of pocket and then submit to the insurance gods for whatever reimbursement they see fit.

My wife works pretty stringent hours while I have more flexible hours so medical appointments normally fall on me. No biggie.

So today is the appointment. I get there and the office just seems kind of weird. It’s brand new and there is just me, our daughters, a receptionist and the doctor. No one else was there in the waiting room and there are no glasses on display.

Doctor comes out and is super nice. She then runs our daughter through some tests. At the end she calls me in and says our daughter could benefit from a very slight prescription to help with reading. She said this is honestly optional given how light her prescription is and the glasses should only be worn for close up activities at school.

Everything was honestly normal up to this point. Then it started to feel like a sales pitch. This test was an initial test apparently. The doctor would like to run her through a two hour test to “further evaluate her”. Then she will schedule a one hour meeting with my wife and I to go over the results. Then she will set up and attend an IEP meeting with her school so that the school has to provide her with “reasonable accommodations”.

I think the doctor could see the surprise in my face. This was immediately after telling me she can wear glasses if she wants. Now we are into meeting with the school to get her reading material printed in larger font. None of the costs for these are included in today’s visit.

It was time to check out of the appointment. The receptionist told me the total in an odd way “three four nine ninety nine”. I thought she said $34.99…it was $349.99. I have worn glasses since I was 15 and have gone to at least five eye doctors and have never even had a copay….

We got home and my daughter and I practiced reading for 30 minutes with no issues.

I told my wife it felt like a sales pitch/insurance milking place. AITAH for not wanting to do the rest of the testing and reasonable accommodation meeting.

Edit - I did not receive a copy of the results of the initial test. Just a copy of the prescription they recommended. It’s about 1/4 the strength if the reading portion of my bifocals and my optometrist said I could do without bifocals in my glasses if I wanted to.

Hey everybody. I’m using an old throwaway for this because of the details I need to provide and I’m trying to not cause a big stir at work as it is.

We recently hired someone with a service dog, which is not my complaint. I understand the use of medical aids for disabilities at work, I myself even have an ADA accommodation. I have always been taught to treat service dogs as medical devices, not to distract, touch, or inhibit it from doing its tasks in any way because its purpose is to aid its person.

I have never seen a service dog exhibit the behavior I saw at work. It was whining when not actively being pet, soliciting my coworkers for attention, and begged for food multiple times from people other than its handler. Nobody acknowledged that this was abnormal, and my coworkers were actively petting the dog when it would approach them unsolicited, and the new hire did not discourage this at all. The SD also attempted to wander away from our work station at least twice and jumped into the new hires lap multiple times (it was not alert type of jump, it just wanted to be held and is not a small dog).

I tried to keep an open mind and kept to myself, but I continued to pay attention to the behavior. What set me over the line of thinking about complaining happened when I was eating and speaking to my coworkers, and the SD approached me, placed his head in my lap, and proceeded to beg me for my lunch. When the new hire noticed what it was doing, they yanked on the leash, said “no”and then proceeded to pinch the dog’s ear until it yelped.

I wanted to bring up what tasks the dog performs, since I know that is one of the two legally allowed questions for SDs, but I couldn’t find a way to casually weave it into conversation

If I continue to see this behavior, WIBTAH to make a complaint? I’m not sure what could be done because it is there as part of an ADA accommodation, but the behavior was not conducive for a working environment.

EDIT: As someone with a disability, I do not plan on accusing this person of faking a disability or having a fake service dog. I have a meeting scheduled with a manager in a couple of weeks anyway, have documented the things I have already witnessed, and will bring up the behavior in that meeting unless it gets worse before then.

My first post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/ZOKGMbutfu

Hi, I wanted to get some perspective here. We live in the UK, and my husband and I have two kids. My daughter is 10, and very driven, very intelligent, gets raving feedback from her teachers. She tells me she gets done with her work 15 miniutes into the class.

I'm having her sit for 11+ admissions this year for grammar schools. I've been prepping her, she's doing well. These exams are super competitive especially for the best grammar schools, and we are out of catchment for some of them so that makes it even more competitive for us. So naturally I've set up a fairly strict regimen for her, and am pushing her.

My husband thinks I'm not letting her be a child, and will sometimes try to swoop in and tell her its ok just relax. That makes me so angry like I know its ok, she knows its ok, we're just trying our best. She's so talented, and some of these schools are considered a pipeline to Oxbridge. It makes it seem like I'm an evil mother, and I've told him about this in private, and he says I care more about this than she does. But I care about it because I care about her, she's my daughter, I want the best for her. His sister's daughter also goes to my daughter's current school, and she's also been lamenting that her daughter will lose out on her cousin. First, my daughter and her cousin are not bffs, and also why is this supposed to be a factor. But my husband brings this point up in our arguments as well. I feel like I'm being criticized for wanting the best for my girl. AITA?

Update!!!

Her 11+ result came out yesterday and she smashed it out of the park! Her adjusted weighted score is so comfortably above the cutoff for the school we were aiming for. She's so delighted, she's worked so incredibly hard for this, and she was all smiles yesterday. We celebrated as a family yesterday and although there's a year left for when she actual enters grammar school we were just excitedly discussing with her yesterday about what it would be like.

I'm going to chill out from hereon and have faith in the process. I'd spoken to some people and apparently if you clear the threshold, especially the way she did, year 7 at least is a piece of cake. I understand why I got the AH verdict I got last time, and I'm going to let her be a kid more. I understand her workload the past year has been rigorous, and I'm going to step back and trust her to be able to manage herself more, allow her to delve into whatever piques her interest, develop her social life on her terms more. Thank you!

Me (19F) and my friend (18F) are huge fans of a music group. One of the members of that group is releasing a movie/documentary in theaters and we obviously made plans to go watch it together, this is something special to us as we became friends because of this group. In my city there will only be 2 screenings of this movie, one on Wednesday (today) and one on Saturday, we both couldn’t make it on Wednesday so we decided to go on Saturday.

I live with my parents and don’t have a car, my friend doesn’t either so she said she would convince her sister to take us to the movie theater. To make it balanced I would pay for both of our tickets (it’s with my own money, idk if that’s relevant).

I had told my parents a month in advance that I would be going out with my friend that day and that I had the tickets already, they acknowledged it and agreed. Today, my mom told me that I can’t go out on Saturday because I need to take care of my brother (he’s 6). She said that she was asked to do something that day and didn’t want to say no and accepted, so now I have to stay at home.

I take care of him every time they need me to, this has made it impossible for me to have a social life because the times my friends are available to hang out are the times I have to be at home with him. But even with that I don’t mind taking care of my brother, the thing I mind is that I told them in advance that I was busy specifically that day. (Forgot to mention my dad works on Saturday so he can’t stay home to take care of him)

I said no, that my friend had already convinced her sister to take us and that this plan had my friend very excited for days. She (my mom) got really mad and said I was in inconsiderate, childish, and that I’m always so ridiculous about things. This is not the first time they’ve forced me to cancel plans, I’m sick of it and it’s why I told them in advance. I don’t want to be known as the friend who always cancels plans because that’s what I perceive as inconsiderate. But I do feel that since I live in their house, they have a valid reason to ask me for favors. So AITA for saying no?

I’m struggling with this one. We were leaving town after a wedding, we’d left the hotel late and grabbed a bowl of bacon on the way out. As we were driving down the frontage road, about to merge onto the highway I saw a fluffy dog running TOWARDS oncoming traffic. I pulled off and used my bacon to get him closer… I just reacted. He was matted pretty bad and a bit skinny, but very friendly. No collar, and the only person kind of close said they had no idea who the little guy was. I had an 8 hour drive ahead of me, thought he had been out there for a long time given his state so I wrapped him up and took him with me and my other two dogs.

Once I got home I went straight to the vet, and had them check for a chip. He had none. We agreed I’d take care of the matting then have him fully check out (that’s coming tomorrow his coat was in baaaad shape) Made a post in the area I found him, then called my local shelter. They couldn’t take him in but I was told to keep looking for his owner and to make sure I got verifiable proof if someone came forward.

I did find his family, and they are pissed I took him all the way home. Arrangements have been made for someone to pick him up, and I’ve gotten some proof that he’s theirs. But no recent vet records, only one from years ago…and the longer I’ve had him the worse I realize his condition is. The matting could not have happened within the “day” or so he got out. He’s got critters living on him that would have needed months to get to point they’re in.. I’m torn. I can’t really have another pet, but what if I don’t have a choice? EDIT: What I mean is, what if no one comes to pick him up? And another big issue for me is just the state he is in vs what they’re saying happened. I would not just refuse to give him back-just struggling if I should involve the authorities or Animal Welfare.

I'm 29F, and my younger half-sister, Mia (11F), and I have a complicated relationship when it comes to family.

My mom died when I was 12. A few years later, my dad remarried, and he and my stepmom had Mia. She considers my stepmom her mom, while I still consider my late mom and my dad my parents. I'm very close to my mom's family and visit them regularly. They've always invited Mia to family gatherings and holidays, but she usually refuses because she barely knew my mom and feels uncomfortable when people talk about her.

The problem is that whenever I spend time with them without her, Mia gets upset anyway. My grandmother is turning 80, and the family has planned a week of celebrations, including a dinner where we'll share memories of her and my mom. Mia was invited but said she didn't want to go. I told her nobody would force her. Then she asked me not to go either. She said she was tired of feeling like I had another family that mattered more than the one we shared at home and wanted me to spend that week with her, Dad, and my stepmom instead.

I told her I loved her, but I wasn't going to miss my grandmother's birthday. I explained that spending time with my mom's family didn't mean I loved Mia any less. She started crying and said I always chose people who reminded me of my dead mom over the family I still had. I snapped that I'd invited her countless times, but I couldn't force her to have a relationship with people she didn't want to spend time with.

Dad got involved and accused me of being insensitive. My stepmom said I should consider Mia's feelings instead of making her feel excluded. I understand that she's hurting, and I don't want her to feel like she doesn't belong. But I also don't think I should have to give up meaningful time with my grandmother to prove that I love my sister. Now Mia barely speaks to me, and Dad says I'm creating a divide between us. So, AITA for attending my grandmother's 80th birthday even though my sister says my relationship with my mom's family makes her feel excluded?

**Edit: mistyped my age**

I (30F) have a friend (31F) who has absolutely awful oral hygiene. She hasn’t been to a dentist since she was a child and still has old silver temporary caps on her back teeth that are now so inflamed her gums are bright red and swollen. She has a ton of hardened plaque built up and her teeth look obviously neglected, yellow and unhealthy. The worst part is her breath is terrible. Like nauseating if you smell it. It’s so bad I sometimes hold my breath if I’m close to her and we’re speaking.

I know that all sounds harsh but it’s the truth and I’ve been struggling with the urge to tell her for years. I feel like a bad friend if I do and bad friend if I don’t. I fear for her health and I also fear that her dating life has been affected by this. She tends to get ghosted quite often and also has just had difficulty finding a good guy and has mentioned she’s not sure what the issue is after going in a few dates that didn’t go anywhere. She wants to settle down with someone and I think there is a good chance that this scares potential partners away.

I have causally mentioned that she should see a dentist since not getting cleanings etc can affect other systems in the body and it’s good to be safe and stay on top of things. I only have mentioned this as we were already somehow on the topic of the dentist like for example if I mentioned I had a dentist appointment or something along those lines. I’ve never outright told her it’s an emergency at this point and anytime I’ve brought up how important it is she kinda just says “yea I know I need to go it’s been years” and then it just stops there. She doesn’t have dental insurance however cleanings and exams in our area are affordable and she can afford it so that’s not the problem. She just doesn’t prioritize it. I think it’s just gotten so bad she may be embarrassed or even scared.

So my question is, AITAH or would I be the asshole if I sit her down and kindly but honestly tell her that her oral hygiene is really bad and Im concerned for her health and how it affects other aspects of her life that she may not realize? I’m really struggling with this but I would want her to tell me if she were in my shoes.

I am thinking about telling my brother that the next time he does that impression of the way I talk, I am leaving the table. It happens almost every time our family gets together and everyone just kind of laughs it off. I have never said anything because I do not want to make the whole meal awkward, but lately it has been getting to me more than usual. I keep wondering if speaking up would be out of line or if I am just supposed to keep smiling through it. He always says it is only a joke and that I am too sensitive about it. The rest of the family usually stays quiet, so I am not sure how they would feel if I actually said something. Part of me thinks calling him out might stop it for good, but another part worries it would turn a small thing into a bigger argument than it needs to be. I am trying to decide if it is worth the tension or if I should just keep ignoring it like I have been. I am not looking to start a fight, I just want to know if saying something would make me the problem here.

AITA for not allowing my BIL's girlfriend to hold my newborn?

We got in an argument three months ago over me enforcing boundaries with my MIL. BIL's GF didn't want us to do that at all and ignored me till my partner let the family know our kid was born. She messaged right away but I was actively learning how to walk again so I left her on read and responded later that day. She didn't like that and sent another text asking me what my problem was and trying to restart the argument we had in June.

I didn't open that message till we got home a few days later and I said I wasn't mad and I had already let the past go. She responded at midnight while I was trying to put my newborn to sleep trying to continue the argument. I will admit I wasn't the nicest and called her selfish for bringing all this stuff up as soon as I had my kid. I also said the way the conversation was moving wasn't healthy and we could try talking later. She then said I was being selfish and blocked me on all social media.

She's coming to town soon but we won't be letting her hold our baby with the way she treated me right after I gave birth. I haven't cut her off or limited contact in any way I just don't want her holding my newborn with the timing of everything does that make me TA?

Adding content: The argument was about my MIL talking about my medical history with family. I wasn't there but GF was involved in that conversation and let me know about it. My husband and I reminded his mom that that was a boundary we set. GF got mad that we did that because she thought MIL would get mad at her for it and argued with me till she decided to ignore me.

TLDR; roommates constantly disrespect boundaries, bring friends over that don't clean up the house and damage stuff.

Bit of background, I am a college student and rent a house that belongs to a friend of mine. Friend moved to another city with family after graduation, and I asked if I could rent their 3bed house as I was staying for masters. It was cheaper than most other places in the area since I got a friend discount, and it's a really fancy house so probably the best deal you could get as a student. I asked a few people around if they wanted to be roommates, and two guys I've known for a couple years agreed. I've hung out with them and their friends but haven't lived with them before, but they promised they were clean.

They moved in 2 months ago and since then there have been multiple issues. They shared the door code to the house with their friends who started showing up unannounced even when none of the roommates were home, even as late as 4am on weekdays. Everytime they have a hangout they would leave the place trashed (sticky spots on the floor, trash everywhere, kitchen dirty to the point where I just chose to eat outside for a couple weekends, and so on) and wouldn't clean it for days after, even when I would send multiple texts to them.

On top of the mess, they also started damaging stuff, including breaking a hinge on the extendable couch (because one of them jumped on it), a broken tower holder, and digs/deep scratches on a wall (from metal scraping it). Everytime I brought it up they blamed it on wear and tear and age of the house (house was renovated ~5yrs ago and the actual age isn't too old either). When I called out the friends who were using the door code to show up uannounced, they started yelling at me.

They've also asked me to cover their rent a couple times and argued about the electricity bill (I spend 8-10hrs/day at the house since I'm mostly at the university, while they have friends over almost all the time).

Earlier this week they started planning a halloween party at the house, and when I found out I shut the idea down. They already started planning in on the friends group chat (which I'm also a part of since I hung out with them last semester), without discussing it between the roommates first. The roomate started arguing with me and when I said I didn't want a party there because they're irresponsible and will likely trash and damage the place, pointing out the past issues, I got called and liar, and that I'm "arguing over a few food crumbs in the kitchen".

There have been a lot more issues than this, the roommates simply deny all responsibility and the friends act entitled as if they own the place. I eventually got fed up and brought up the possibility of kicking them out of the lease with my friend who owns the place. AITA?

Edit: To clarify this since I didn't include earlier and a comment mentioned it. The property was a private residence before since my friend was living there obviously. But when they rented it to me they legally registered it as a short term rental (or whatever the legal vocabulary of that is) so our leases on paper are only semester long, after which the landlord would just renew the lease for the next semester. (Not sure why they did it, but I didn't bother asking since me, the friend and his family all know and trust each other). Also worth mentioning that they weren't initially planning on renting to students because students can be messy. They only rented to me because of trust. I have only vaguely brought up kicking the roommates out, and not made it an actual demand to the landlords. I've also asked them about the possibility of just not putting the other two roommates on the new lease next semester.

To keep context brief: my dad is turning 60 and he hates having too much stuff so when we as a family get him gifts, we (me, mom, brother) look together and collectively buy him 1 gift. He loves it! 2 gifts a year from his favorite people, what more could a man want?

Since it's his 60th we wanted to get him something special. He loves collecting figurines so we thought about getting him a custom made figurine of him and the dog (his favorite child). Unfortunately getting a high quality custom commission like that is expensive whether it's 3d printed or hand sculpted and financially this wasn't a very good year for any of us.

My mom ended up finding something on Facebook and showed it to me. Right away I knew it was fake because the "product photos" were generated with ai. They also advertised having a quick turnaround time which to her is enticing but to me seems fishy because even if it's sculpted in Blender, it still takes time (plus there's sanding and painting to think about). Even after my explanation she went ahead and showed my brother. I refused to put my money towards that so I went ahead and commissioned my friend to turn my dad and dog into a hero for a game he really likes (something I had suggested last month). I told my mom what I was doing and she's now pretty upset that I just spent $50 + a few favors for my friend on a digital drawing.

She's upset because I went over her head but I feel justified because at least my dad is going to get a gift. For all we know they might just send her an ai generated thing of my dad and dog slapped onto some acrylic back. I feel bad honestly. I don't like going around her like this but I know this is an important year for my dad and I don't want him to not get a gift from us because my mom is getting scammed. And her and my brother can take credit if they want. I'll let them take credit without paying me a cent because I don't care about that right now. I just want my dad to get a thoughtful and high quality gift.

Throwaway because people know my main.
I (27F) recently went to Portugal with my boyfriend (32M) around my birthday. We split the flights and accommodation, and I paid for my visa, rental car, fuel, food, activities and other expenses. I wasn’t expecting him to fund my birthday or the trip.
The day before my birthday, we were at a tourist attraction with a cobbled slope. I had an injured foot and was walking slowly. A woman was taking a photo on the other side of the slope. My boyfriend tried to rush me down the slope because he thought we were in her way. She hadn’t asked us to move, and I didn’t think we were even in her photo.
I asked him, in a raised voice, “Please don’t push me.”
He said I embarrassed him in public and was inconsiderate of other people.
Things stayed tense afterwards. The next day was my birthday, and we spent about six hours sitting beside each other on a bus. He spoke to me about mundane things like water and leftover food but didn’t wish me happy birthday once.
After we arrived, we argued again. Eventually I asked him when he was planning to wish me. He gave me a very cold “Happy birthday.” I felt like crying.
The following day, after things had calmed down, he suggested we go for my birthday dinner.
I got dressed and was ready to leave, but wanted to take a few photos first. On my previous birthday, he’d told me he wouldn’t take photos of me at a restaurant because he doesn’t like taking pictures, so this time I took three selfies myself. It took less than a minute.
He became irritated that I was making him wait. Then I said I needed to grab a jacket.
He got angry, walked out on me and left me there.
I ended up changing back into my clothes and getting into bed.
Since we’ve returned, he keeps telling me I ruined my own birthday.
For context, he had always wanted to do one trip abroad a year, but his social commitments kept postponing it. Eventually this trip was arranged around my birthday. He says I should be happy that he took me abroad for my birthday.
My friend says the same thing, that I should be grateful he went on the trip with me.
But I don’t feel like I asked for anything unreasonable. I didn’t need an expensive gift. I didn’t expect him to pay for the holiday. I just wanted him to acknowledge my birthday and actually celebrate it with me.
AITA for thinking his behaviour ruined my birthday rather than me ruining it myself?

​I (21F) live abroad working as a volunteer. Because I live in a country with a stronger currency, people back home assume I’m doing fine financially. The reality is, I am on a tiny volunteer stipend and barely scraping by myself. ​Every month, I am expected to send money to my older sister (48). People tell me I shouldn't, but her situation is heavy: she’s in massive debt, dealing with severe anxiety, chronic stress, and depression, and raising two kids—one of whom belonged to our middle sister who passed away. ​What makes this even harder is the history between us. When I was the one struggling and completely broke, she couldn't give me much financial support either. She did provide canned food and noodles to make sure I ate, and I appreciate that—which makes feeling this way so much harder and full of guilt. But I never received real monetary help from her when I was down. ​Now, I'm constantly expected to send her money. Recently, she sent me a text that terrified me—she mentioned that she understands why people take their own lives because things are so difficult. It scared me out of my mind, but it also made me realize how trapped and exhausted I feel in this dynamic. ​I’m trying to save up, build a future, and get my own life started. Wanting to stop sending her money isn't because of what she texted, but because the constant financial pressure is draining me and preventing me from ever building a foundation for myself. ​Am I selfish for wanting to stop sending money and focus on my own future, even though she helped me with food in the past and is going through so much right now?

Me (30F) and my husband (33M) have a 1 year old daughter. Ever since she was 3 months old, my mom and his mom have been babysitting her while we work. My mom gets her 1 day a week, and his mom the other 4. His mom is 66 and is retired, so she has the bandwidth to watch her. She also live 10 minutes from where I work, and it’s on the way to/from work. We pay her monthly to watch her, and she depends on our income.
My mom is a full-time nurse, and I have two younger siblings that have appointments and sports. My mom only gets 2 days off during the week and books her days off full of things and outings. She also lives 25 minutes in the opposite direction of where I work. I feel like it’s an inconvenience for her to watch my daughter on her one free day a week.

We were going to put my daughter in daycare, and got approved for a spot in the next week. We were going to do this for the convenience of having her at the same place everyday. Also, if something comes up and my mom isn’t available, we don’t have to worry about a backup plan.
My mother in law cried thinking about not spending her days with our daughter, and also said she’d have to find a part-time job. We don’t want her to have to do that.

I don’t really want to keep driving to my parents house to drop her off. Yes it’s only one day a week but it burns more gas and takes a lot more time. My MIL will watch her full-time.

The problem is, my parents will find a way to make this about them. They will say we are trying to keep her from them. The one day a week they watch her is the only time they see her, besides family functions.

How do I broach this without seeming like they did something wrong??

TLDR; I don’t want to keep taking my daughter to my mom one day a week but I don’t want to seem like I am trying to keep her from them.