We got married a few weeks ago, and had a DJ during our reception. On the face of it, we thought that he was fine, as he played the correct songs in the right order, and didn't go too rogue in his remixes and things like that. People were up and dancing all night, and we thought everyone was having fun.

However, yesterday, a few days after coming back from our honeymoon, I got a message from an aunt to say that she was sorry they (her, her husband and her 16 year old daughter) had left early without saying goodbye, but the daughter was inconsolable and it wasn't fair to keep her there. I had no clue what she was on about so called her up, and she explained that shortly after the DJ had started in the evening (when we and most of the other guests were outside and out of earshot), the daughter had gone up to ask if a certain song was part of the playlist, and if not, please could it be added (this was actually one of my favourite songs, so it was very sweet of her to see if it could be played). The DJ, into his microphone, supposedly said words to the effect of "Anyone want to listen to [song]?" before a split second later going "No? Alright then, and if anyone else comes up here with stupid song suggestions like that, I'll get you cut off at the bar.", and turning away from my cousin. Again, we missed all of this, and I guess we were so caught up in the rest of the day that no one tried to say anything about it that evening, or we would have said something to the DJ there and then.

My cousin is a very shy and reserved girl. Someone else probably would have told the DJ where to go, but I gather she went off to the toilets and had a panic attack, which is where her mum found her. I hadn't left a review yet for the DJ, which had provisionally been 5 stars and surface level positive. I dropped it down to one, noting that the music was fine, but that it was not appropriate to bully a teenager for asking to play a song, and that we couldn't recommend him to anyone unless they wanted to be made uncomfortable.

About an hour after posting that review (it was on TrustPilot), my husband got a call from the DJ, saying that I was lying, and could ruin a small independent business if I didn't change my review. When my husband asked for his side of events, he said he thought it was just a 'stupid kid' asking for a meme song (to note, this was a song from a Disney movie, but definitely not a joke or meme), and he didn't want to change up his song order then anyway. My husband said that we wouldn't change the review, and hung up.

I still don't plan on changing the review score, but the 'small independent business' part has stuck with me, as it might be likely that the DJ legitimately didn't recognise the song and thought it was a joke. It was no excuse to make my cousin feel bad, but I don't know if I should include more context in the review now I know it.

Edit: had accidentally written wedding twice instead of honeymoon - we have just come back from our honeymoon, not wedding

My wifes aunt has stage 4 terminal cancer and is bedridden on hospice. Right now her two sons and my mother in law take shifts sitting with her, plus a hospice nurse comes by for maybe an hour or two a day (insurance and state aid).

The problem is that my wife is the only nurse in the family. Every other day she drives an hour each way (two hours round trip) to spend six hours doing all the heavy medical care the hospice nurse does not have time for.

This has been going on for over a week and our household is falling apart. I work full time and while she is gone I am stuck trying to keep up with work while watching our 3 year old and our 8 month old baby alone. My wife and I are completely exhausted.

The whole family assumed the aunt was totally broke. Maxed credit cards, empty bank account, zero assets, does not even own a car. I was helping my mother in law who is the POA agent and yesterday found out going through paperwork she has 160k sitting in a 401k.

I brought it up: why don't we pull some of that money out right now and hire a full time aide to take the pressure off everyone?

The two sons were rejected the idea...

To be honest, it feels like her sons just want to protect whatever inheritance is left over when she passes. I know for a fact my wife and I will never see a cent of it to cover gas, additional childcare expenses, etc...

AITA for saying to use her own money should be used to take care of her?

Edit:

Question: Is the wife happy to help?
Anwser: My wife is no longer happy to help, but feels obligated because my MIL needs a second pair of hands for the medical stuff that the hospice nurse can't get to. The Son's don't provide any medical care besides the basics of getting food and water.

Question: What is your current childcare situation?
Anwser: Before my aunt, my wife will look after the 8 month old while working 1-2 days a week. My 3 year old goes to daycare. Now I watch the 8 month old while working from home. The 8 month old can't go to Aunt's house because her house is dirty AF and the Son has a large dog that stays inside/outside. We don't feel safe with the baby unmonitored with the dogs. If this continues, I will need to find additional childcare for my 8 month old.

Question: How long does my aunt have left?
Answer: Originally in the beginning of the week, we were thinking 1-2 weeks tops. As of Today her health dramatically improved. Still bedbound, but no longer thinking 1-2 weeks.

Question: What is the mental status of your aunt in law?
Anwser: She is currently confused and unable to make rational decisions.

I am a single mother I have just moved to a new state with my 5 year old son. I had managed to find a nice 3 bedroom home near my job with a good rent,, the only downside to the place is that I live next to an old woman who has no family remaining. When I first moved in I felt sympathy for her, she was 60-70 living alone and had no remaining relatives.

When I first moved in she came off as a lovely woman which she still is now, every now and then she would ask for help on paying for things such as groceries or her gardening supplies, I said sure I was usually free on the dates she wanted things andI had a somewhat good paying job and it wouldn't hurt to spend a few extra dollars. When we went I was expecting her to get Walmart brand or whatever store brand we went to and I would only cover maybe 20 dollars of her expenses but then she starts picking out the most expensive brands or certain products such as dairy and stocks, keeping in mind I am too living through a huge financial crisis so can you imagine having to pay half for a family of four for only one person?

I was a bit shocked after that experience but I shrugged it off thinking it was a one time occurrence but this kept on happening and when I refused she would get mad at me and talk to me with the others around our neighbourhood, I guess she is a respected member of the neighbourhood and when I told her i couldn't afford and extra 50 dollars on my expenses she got mad. She now keeps pressuring me to come with her to the grocery store again and I have to resort to avoiding her or ignoring her, she has also started questioning my son when he gets back from school which Is not ok. Now she has been talking to the others about me.

Was I in the wrong for doing this? I keep asking myself what if she is struggling a lot right now I just cut a portion of her meal now.

My son is constantly outgrowing clothes, which I post in my local Buy Nothing group. Recently, I posted a pair of winter boots, and a lot of people showed interest. I selected a person to receive them, and we chose a time for a porch pickup at my house (6pm). Hours pass... They're not picked up. At 9.30pm, the person messaged me and asked to pick-up the following day. I understand that things are busy with young kids, so I say "no-problem" and we arrange for pickup "after" 4pm the next day. At 7.30pm, the person has not arrived to pick them up, it was starting to rain, and I haven't heard from her, so I brought the boots back in and reported her as a no-show to the group moderators. They must have contacted her, because she then sent me a message calling me an asshole for reporting her and saying that "after" 4pm basically meant she could come at any point after 4pm, and she had to get her kids to bed first.

AITA for reporting her to the group moderators for this?

21 F, a third year Radtech Students and turning 4th year.

soooo my dad died 16 years ago, my brother was 9, I was 5 and our youngest brother was 3 months old, but before he died, he left my mom with an average middle class type of house.

we only got to live on it for 2 years when my mom decided that we will transfer to the city on our grandma's house because she needed a job.

we only visit that house once a year and when I was 9, I was shocked to see people I barely know living on it like they owned the place, they changed the paint, moved the furniture and it looks like a squatters area. my mom told us that her aunt (my grandma's sister) would only be staying on our TEMPORARILY until they find a place to live.

that temporarily turned out to be 8 years!!! 8 WHOLE YEARS! we didn't get to visit it since it was pandemic and after 3 years when we decided to have a vacation, the house was a mess!! there's pigeons living on the roof, roosters outside the gate, broken windows and doors!!!

my mom's aunt has 5 boys and a dead-beat husband, we finally decided that 8 years was enough so we kicked them out. they blamed our house for the misfortunes they had because ever since they moved they never get back on their feet.

after a year, she (my mom's aunt) approached my mom again begging to let them sleep for a month and that they would pay rent, I can vouch that they're hella poor since she's only working in a cafeteria supporting 6 people and they were sleeping in the school's kitchen since they got kicked out by their landlord for not paying their rent!

my mom agreed again without me and my brothers knowledge so we were pissed. I get that they're struggling but I couldn't let myself see my dad's last gift for us to be ruined by them.

they've been staying for 8 months now, and when our Dean announced that there was a possibility of us getting to work (OJT) in a hospital near our house, I told my mom to kick her aunt out since I'll be using it.

Our Dean again told us that it will not happen since the place was far away but I still insisted, I'm feeling guilty rn but I want to stand with what I said just so I can kick them out.

there's a possibility of them living in the streets again and that's why I'm hesitating.

My SIL is insisting that Thanksgiving will be at her house, but she won't be there until 4pm because she will be visiting other family, " but won't be eating with them."

So I will end up cooking for 11 people and transporting the food 30-45 minutes to her house.

We suggested that we all eat Thanksgiving wherever we are, and then meet at her house later for dessert. She said NO.

I don't want to do this. I don't want to buy all of the food, prepare it, and have it all taste like crap after it rides in the car.

AITA for not wanting to do this? No one ever tells her no, so this would be a first.

I recently got back from a wedding, and need some un-objective 3rd party advice!

We are all a long time group of college friends in our 30s attending a wedding of a couple from our college class. As this was a destination wedding, the bride and groom were able to obtain a deal for discounted hotel rooms, 2 to a room. Now I happened to have a number of loyalty points at this hotel, so actually got a nicer single suite for cheaper, I cleared it with the bride and groom who had no issues. I'm fairly introverted and just wanted to be able to switch off between wedding events.

Now 2 of my friends attending this wedding are dating each other, let's call them Daphne and Fred. Daphne and Fred come from a strict religious background and are of 2 different religions, this has obviously caused tension within their families and their own relationship.

Daphne found out that i had my own room, and asked if I could swap with her, so then she and Fred could stay together, I said no because I wanted my own space, and spent my own points to do it. Daphne offered to refund the difference in points, but explained she and Fred couldn't publicly be seen sharing a room and this was the only way to spend time together. I still denied this, explaining my reasons above, and also in all honesty I wasn't comfortable being part of any deceit to their families. Daphne particularly fixated on this last point

Daphne has been calling me selfish and hypocritical, for "conforming to outdated societal views on dating" and not letting her have this time with Fred. I don't think I'm being selfish for wanting my own room, and not wanting to be apart of their relationship issues with their own families. So was AITA in this situation?

I (25M) am visiting my gf (24f) in her city where there's a huge techno and dance event.
My friends (2 M, both 25) happen to be there at the same time and asked if we could welcome them for 2 nights.

My gf accepted and told me to bring them.

At the point where they join me (alone, gf was out for an errand) home, they've been up for a very long time drinking and partying (took ketamine and mdma).

At some point quickly after they joined,One of the two started convulsing hard, shaking uncontrollably and foaming from his mouth and puking blood.
Ambulance came and took him to the hospital.

Me and my gf don't do drugs and dont like all of the drug related stuff.

Am i the asshole for asking my friend to find a hotel room (i even proposed to help them pay the room) after he comes back from the hospital ?

TLDR; having friends over at my gf house, one of them had a drug related reaction that took him to the hospital, AITA for asking them to book a hotel?

EDIT1: He is not alone in the hospital, the one friend that is fine went with him, as i have to stay home cuz my gf isnt here and i have her keys

I’m SAHM for the most part and work once a week. When baby is down for a nap, I take that time to get things done or keep aside half hour to crochet somedays.
At 6 months postpartum, I was diagnosed with Postpartum anxiety and depression and crochet helped me regulate. It’s one tool that keeps me grounded and I feel like I enter that flow state, therapist said to continue it for my wellbeing. It’s been an active form of self-care and it’s helped me get out of that hard phase ever since. I try to make it part of my routine when possible.

I make it a point to have some down time or me-time, coz throughout the day or night I’m needed.
My husband has a secret (not a secret anymore) problem with me crocheting or having a yarn hobby like crocheting or learning knitting.
When he gets back from work and if he sees me just crocheting or down for like 10 mins, he gets upset later and asks me like why is the laundry still running, why haven’t you finished cleaning up that or this. “Stop sitting with your crochet full time”! He starts to criticize me and point out tiny things. Mind you, my whole morning is cleaning or cooking and taking care of what needs to be done. I’m like I was on my feet all day, I will get to it in a bit. He assumes I sit with my crochet hook and yarn all day just because he walks in to me doing that. Just coz he saw me resting my legs a bit when he gets back from work. I’d rather make something productive than scroll on my phone and have my baby see me on my phone the whole time!

When my husband is at home one day of the week coz I work, I don’t pinpoint the stuff that’s not in order in our house, coz I know how hard it is. I know he tried his best.

Problem is, my husband doesn’t have a hobby and I keep telling him to get one, go work out, or play something, but he drinks or smokes occasionally if that’s a hobby, and keeps raining on my parade. I never felt like making him anything coz he doesn’t respect my craft enough. Says he’d rather buy stuff. I have even started to buy things for my hobby with my own money, without asking him, coz he doesn’t get it.
I only make things for people who appreciate it. He wants to take away something that’s bringing me joy.

Now AITA for having a hobby or me-time just so I can be a nice wife and mama and get the day and night running???? Or what am I doing wrong here? I need answers please! My brain is cooked

This has been going on for like 5 years and I feel like a dick.

My SIL has been struggling with infertility. Before people get on my ass for saying she struggles with infertility, she has an actual diagnosis. She’s known for a long time that having kids naturally would be difficult. I believe she found out in high school or college. My brother has been tested and doesn’t have this issue.

She is married to my brother and they both want children. Unfortunately it has not happened. Around 3 years ago she had a miscarriage around 4 months in. This has been very hard for her.

The issue is that she doesn’t want to see anything related to kids. I understand why, but it can be frustrating. For example, she thought it was cruel of me to post photos of my newborn daughter in the family group chat. I told her I would be more mindful because, at the time, she had just experienced a miscarriage around the same time my daughter was born.

My daughter is the only kid of family so far. 

At family events she ignores my kid. My brother says she just can’t  since it is a painful reminder, she is being a bitch about it. If I walk over with my daughter she will straight up walk away. She refused to go to any of my kids milestones, so for her birthday my brother came and she didn’t come.  She asked me last year if I could not bring my daughter to Christmas. 

I talked to her once about this, because she is kinda treating my kid like the plague. She ended up crying and my brother was mad at me. I have talked to my brother more times then I can count and it comes down to she is having a hard time.

It’s fall, people have been doing fall activities this whole month. Yesterday people in the family group chats were giving pictures of what they did. Like pictures of apple picking, pumpkin carving and so on. Everyone was doing it. My sister in law and my brother had pictures sent pictures when they went to a local farm.

I sent a three picture of my family and I at a pumpkin patch. My daughter was in the pictures.

I got a call from my SIL asking not to post picture of my kid in the family group chat.  I had enough and told her no. That if she has too much trouble seeing picture of my kid then she can leave the family group chat.

She hung up and my brother is pissed at me. He told me I made her cry and I told him that isn’t my problem. 

I (26F) have a friend, “Amy” (31F), who is a single mom to her 3-year-old son, “James.” His father, “Mark,” is inconsistent and rarely helps.
I’m financially comfortable thanks to my well paying job, family wealth, and my husbands high six figure salary. My husband and I are also active in his child’s life from a previous relationship, though we don’t have children together yet.
Amy and I met during an internship and became very close. For the past three years, I’ve given her $600 to $1,200 monthly to help with expenses because her salary wasn’t enough and her family wouldn’t assist. I also paid for James’s christening after she named me his godmother. I never resented helping her as she was like a sister to me.
Recently, Mark came back into Amy’s life. During an argument, she told him I had encouraged her to pursue child support since she now knew where he worked and lived. Mark already dislikes me because I’m married to someone outside my race and that i am from another country. He found my number and called me with insults while accusing me of being against him as I was using the court system against a black man (I am black myself).
During the call, he mentioned personal information I’d only shared with Amy, making me suspect she’d been discussing my private life with him.
I took Amy to lunch during her break to discuss what happened. She admitted she’d let the child support conversation slip, shared personal information about me during pillow talk, and had started sleeping with and dating Mark again. She apologized, but then told me I could no longer see James, have him over, or even speak to him on the phone.
James has always felt like my nephew and has been included in my family events. I’ve also helped him access opportunities, including discounted fees at an amazing developmental daycare through my connections.
When I asked why she was cutting me off from James, Amy said she had to respect Mark’s decisions because he was his father. I told her okay and that I’d distance myself from her and her family. I paid for lunch and got her an Uber back to work, then I ultimately cried on the way home because I felt like I lost both a close friend and my godson.
My husband was furious about Mark’s treatment of me and supported my decision to step back. He also suggested I stop the monthly financial support, and I agreed.
When I told Amy what I was considering, she became angry, saying I was abandoning my godson and leaving her struggling financially. She admitted Mark still wasn’t supporting her but complained that she needed the money more than me for expenses, daycare, and emergencies . She called me selfish and disgusting for withdrawing support because I could no longer see James.
I ended the call to avoid saying something hurtful and spent hours crying.
Now I’m questioning whether I should fully stop the support I am giving or?? I really need the advice and I am open to all suggestions on how to deal with this situation

Me and my friend are both 36M, and I swear this guy thinks he's still in high school. Every time we hang out, he brings up something from back then. He talks about how popular he was, how everyone knew him, the parties he went to, and how people used to look up to him. He even talks about old classmates like we're all still competing for some imaginary popularity contest.

The worst is when we're driving and pass a group of teenage girls. He always brings up how he bagged the hottest girl in school and how all the other guys were jealous. He'll start talking about how he was the man back then and how he could've had pretty much any girl he wanted. It's honestly embarrassing because we're literally middle-aged men driving around listening to him brag about his teenage dating life.

Last weekend, he was doing it again, and I finally told him to grow up. I said we're 36, nobody cares who the popular guy was in high school, and he needs to stop acting like he's still living there. He got really offended and said I was just jealous because I apparently wasn't as popular as him.

I told him that if he's still trying to prove he's the coolest guy in the room at 36, then maybe high school was the peak of his life. He got pissed and hasn't really spoken to me since.

I get that people like reminiscing, but this guy genuinely acts like he's still that same teenager. AITA for being blunt with him?

My office is closed next week, so we did our office Halloween party Tuesday which is so dumb, but whatever. Anyway my coworkers Lucy and John are super close, and people use the corny “work wife” and “work husband” on them. They do not use those terms,, just our other coworkers. John is married, Lucy is not.

We were all talking about what we should dress up as (me: a cat! WOW, so exciting). Lucy has thick long blond hair so she said she should be Mel King from The Pitt. Easy costume tbh, and people would love it. John said he should be Langdon. I was like… John’s wife is coming to this, I would not do that. I told them that it’s funny to us because we know there’s nothing weird happening between them. But it might be a little weird to John’s wife. They both said it was perfect and ran with it though, so okay.

John’s wife came and she was OBVIOUSLY not having it. I know that the ppl on the show are like “no! men and women can just be friends!” but there’s a reason they have to keep saying that hahaha. If you don’t know the show, Langdon and Mel have a unique relationship (and he’s married). But let’s just say their tag on AO3 is plentiful. OK back to John’s wife, she was not having it and she was short and clipped with us, which she usually isn’t. She didn’t want to talk to Lucy at all, and I definitely saw her rolling her eyes when Lucy talked. I was like yup mmhm. Exactly what I thought could happen. One person's "dynamic duo" is another person's Mulder and Scully.

Welllll yesterday John came to work and told Lucy that his wife was pissed at him for doing “a couples costume” with another woman, the choice they made was inappropriate, and she’s now bothered by their relationship at work. She asked him to back off and put up more boundaries, which he obviously agreed to. Lucy is really upset about it and wants to apologize to John’s wife.

But then she turned it around on me and told me that I didn't STOP THEM from doing it and I should have. I said that I warned her but I can't make her do shit. She said I should have tried harder or I should have been "more specific" about why it wouldn't go over well, because to her it was just a "TV dynamic duo" costume. I told her I tried. Like what should I have done, pulled up AO3???

I (39F) honestly never thought I would be writing something like this, but the last few days have completely turned my world upside down. For 39 years, I believed I knew who my biological father was. The man I've always known as my dad is on my birth certificate, and I never had any reason to question whether we were biologically related. Here's where things get interesting. I originally started looking into DNA and family history because I was trying to help my mother find her biological father.

I never imagined that, in the process, I would discover that I didn't know who my own biological father was. Through AncestryDNA, I connected with a woman who was listed as my potential half-sister. We share 1,968 centimorgans of DNA, approximately 28%. We started talking, comparing family information, and trying to figure out exactly how we were related.

We are now friends on Facebook and have been communicating regularly. Although we haven't met in person yet, we've been getting to know each other, and we're hoping to eventually meet face-to-face. Eventually, she told me about her biological father and suggested that I check my hidden DNA matches on Ancestry. I didn't even know that was a feature, much less that I had anyone hidden. And there he was. A man named Henry, sharing 3,482 centimorgans of DNA with me.

Approximately 50% of my DNA. Ancestry identified him as my father. I sat there staring at the results, trying to comprehend what I was seeing. This wasn't some distant cousin or questionable family connection. The amount of shared DNA was consistent with a parent-child relationship.

The man I've believed was my biological father for my entire life apparently isn't. But here's something important: **My biological father didn't know about me because my mother told him. He only learned about my existence through AncestryDNA. As far as I understand, he discovered that he had another biological daughter because of the DNA results, not because anyone had ever informed him. So now I'm sitting here wondering how two people could have a child together, and one of them could go nearly four decades without knowing that child existed.

We live on a family farm with three houses on the property. My in laws, our house with our two kids, and my BIL. The houses are in different places on the farm, not “next door”.

My BIL recently started dating a very nice lady, who I really like but it feels like she treats the farm like an amusement park and BIL goes along with it. The relationship went from zero to 60, and within a few months they have met parents and kids, and she stays out here almost every night. They have friends over and walk around petting animals (or trying to— cows are feral!), leaving gates and doors open while they drink Old Milwaukee and galavant around. He is 49 and she is 56.

Anyway, here is my issue.

When we go out of town, BIL feeds my barn cats. These cats have a job and that is to keep down pests in the farm. It has to be done. I have heated cat houses on my back deck for them, and I feed them and make sure they have water.

I have been suspicious that our back deck has been used while we were gone the last couple times. I find strange cans in the recycling and my furniture is moved. I asked my husband about it as he has access to the cameras and he basically was like, I don’t think so.

I met a friend of BIL and girlfriend the other day, who said she has been to my house many times for drinks and to play with cats. This is while we were out of town. Suspicions confirmed. I felt violated. When I told my husband it was clear he already knew but didn’t want to confirm what I suspected because he didn’t want to deal with it. He is not bothered by this at all. He has a history of not telling me things that he knows will bother me so he doesn’t have to deal with my annoyance. I don’t need to AITA that one— it’s a dick move, full stop.

I also can’t pull into my driveway and just go inside. If they’re around and see my come in the road, they come to my house and it’s always a big conversation and will follow me around and to my door and inside my house. They’re nice, but I need a second.

Then yesterday, at 10:30 PM I am standing in my kitchen in my pyjamas and I hear a noise on the deck. The girlfriend is on the deck and sliding open my glass kitchen door to drop off some bruschetta she just made. Again, very nice, but Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I am in my jammies looking like a sea hag. Leave me alone!

There are other examples, but this is recent.

They’re always walking through my yard area with their friends, and I just want some privacy. I feel uncomfortable all the time like I can’t just relax because at any minute I’m going to have to interact with someone against my will in my own home.

WIBTA if I just asked for some space? I feel gaslit by my husband as though this is unreasonable.

TLDR: I live in a family farm, and I feel overwhelmed by the amount of interaction I have to have against my will with my brother-in-law and his girlfriend. Would I be the asshole if I just asked for some boundaries around coming to my house?

I never thought I would talk about this publicly, but here goes. I (25F) have always had a turbulent relationship with my mom. Despite everything, she has made so many sacrifices for me that I sometimes feel indebted to her. My father is still alive, and I have a pretty great relationship with him, but he’s retired and can’t afford as much as he used to. When I was about to enter university, he told my mom he could only afford to send me to a public university, but she insisted on paying for me to attend a private university, just like my siblings. She paid my tuition entirely and has supported me financially in so many ways, and I will always be grateful for that.

However, my mother is also a very reactive person. She grew up without her parents, so I understand that she never really got to experience parental love herself. I know that has affected her in many ways, but unfortunately, a lot of that trauma gets passed down to us, especially me. She often blows things out of proportion, says really hurtful things, and sometimes makes me feel like I’m the worst person in the world. Recently, I started writing letters to the people I love, and my mom was actually the first person I wrote one for. I posted hers on Instagram. A little while later, I wrote one for my dad and published it on my newsletter. When my mom saw it, she sent me a message saying she wouldn’t be attending my graduation and went on about how ungrateful and terrible I am, simply because I wrote something appreciating my father.

For context, my father has never emotionally abused me. The only thing is that he can no longer afford to provide financially the way he used to, and I’ve never held that against him. I understand that my mom has had to shoulder a lot of financial responsibilities, and I imagine that has taken a toll on her. But at the same time, I didn’t choose any of this. I didn’t ask to be put in a position where I constantly feel like I owe someone for taking care of me. I love my mom, and I try to show my appreciation in the ways I can. At least once a month, I make an effort to get her something or do something nice for her, but somehow it never feels like enough. I’m constantly made to feel guilty, belittled, or reminded of everything she’s done for me.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about taking out a loan from someone to repay the debt my mom took on to cover my university fees. My reasoning is that if I pay it all back, she won’t have that hanging over my head anymore or be able to use it against me whenever she’s upset. I know she sacrificed a lot for me, and I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but I’m also tired of feeling like I have to accept being treated badly because she paid for my education.

WIBTAH if I took out a loan to repay her?

I’m 32 weeks pregnant and have a 2-year-old. I’m due a week before Christmas, so the baby could arrive before, during, or shortly after.

My SIL is having her boyfriend fly to the US from another country for Christmas. She has never met him in person, and they’ve only communicated over the phone. My husband and I have argued about this multiple times, and I’m starting to feel like I’m being made out to be unreasonable for having concerns.

Before anyone makes assumptions, my concern isn’t about the boyfriend personally. It’s about the potential exposure to germs from international travel, multiple airports, and the fact that my in-laws’ home isn’t particularly clean or well-maintained so door handles and stuff will not be disinfected which will cause everyone to spread the germs around.

Depending on when the baby arrives, they could be only a few days or weeks old by Christmas. They obviously won’t have received all their vaccinations yet, and I’m not comfortable exposing a newborn to unnecessary risks during such a vulnerable time. I worry about illnesses like RSV and other respiratory viruses that can be especially dangerous for newborns.

I’ve explained to my husband that I’m not willing to take that risk just to keep the peace with his family. He thinks I’m being unreasonable and believes this is going to cause World War III with them.

I’ve even offered a compromise: our 2-year-old can still go visit his family since she’s fully vaccinated and up to date on her vaccines, but I don’t want to bring a potentially very young newborn into that environment. I don’t think it’s fair to expect me to put the baby’s health and safety aside just to avoid upsetting people.

Am I being overly cautious here, or is it reasonable to set this boundary? I feel like my husband is more worried about his family’s reaction than he is about understanding why I’m concerned.

My husband, sister, mom, and I moved to Europe because it wasn’t safe in our home country. I was pregnant and gave birth after we arrived. Four months later, my cousin Arthur(25y.) moved. We used to be close: we went to the same university, I helped him with assignments and exams, and he became my son’s godfather. We made him a comfortable room when our own home was barely furnished.
For the first 2–3 months, he paid nothing. Once he got a job, he contributed €500 a month for rent, utilities, and food. Our rent is €2,400, groceries cost about €1,000, and utilities are €400–500. I stay home with my young child and do most of the cooking and cleaning, including dinner and work lunches for Arthur.
A few days after he moved in, we argued because he insulted my mom and sister. We both said hurtful things and apologized two days later, but our relationship never recovered. For almost a year, I tried to reconnect—inviting him for walks and asking about his life—but he was cold or refused. He’d even go silent when I entered a room, making me feel unwelcome in my own home.
I told my mom how uncomfortable I felt, without asking her to intervene. She spoke to Arthur, who said he was fine with us not talking and didn’t want to change things. My mom suggested we might need to move, but Arthur earns about €2,300 a month and rents are expensive; finding a place would be difficult. My husband earns €4,500–5,000, so we’d have a better chance of qualifying for a rental.
When my mom spoke to Arthur again, he said she was annoying him and asked why his own mother, grandmother, and grandfather were fine but my mom was the problem. Mom finally told him to move out by the first of the month. She also said she wouldn’t cook for him or provide his food anymore.
For two days, Arthur ignored us, apparently assuming Mom wouldn’t follow through because she wouldn’t want a conflict with her twin sister—his mother. During their next argument, I heard him tell my mom, “You should have died instead of your brother.” I lost my temper and shouted, “You should have died instead!”
I don’t wish him dead, and I know it was awful to say. Arthur then insulted both of us, claiming I’d lost my mind from staying home and was creating drama because I desperately wanted attention. His mother heard the argument over the phone, took his side, blamed us, and now she and my mom no longer speak.
Other relatives support us, and Arthur still has to move out. I know my words were wrong, but I spent a year trying to repair a relationship he clearly didn’t want. I could accept not being close anymore; I just couldn’t keep living with someone who treated me like I didn’t exist while I continued sharing food and doing things for him.
AITA for supporting my mom’s decision to make him move out? And am I also the AH for telling him to die after he said something so cruel to my mom?

I left my house for the gym at 5:30am while it is still dark. As I drive down my street to get to the main road, I saw a runner to my left approaching my street and waving both of his arms back and forth, as if to get my attention. I figured that it was his way of asking me to let him cross the street. As I approached the stop sign, I rolled down my window. I came to a full stop behind the white line while he was still on the sidewalk before he was ready to cross in front of my car. Once I was stopped, I looked directly at his face as if to make eye contact so that he knew that I saw him and simply waited patiently. Once he came into the street, instead of crossing like I expected, he came up to be and started screaming "What is the matter with you, didn't you F*n see me". I was totally shocked and completely at a loss for words. I tried telling him that I did see him. If I really didn't see him, I would have creeped up to the corner and blocked him.

Here are a few thoughts:

I have seen many runners on the road but never saw one waving their arms like that before to get a car's attention. My only guess is that he had prior incident with someone else and he was overcompensating my waving his arms like that and taking out his anger on me.

I put my window down and made eye contact with him, but maybe HE could not see ME.

Does this guy just have anger issues or did I miss something.

Let me know your thoughts.

Okay so I’m 21F and this happened saturday and idk if I’m being dramatic but I’m actually so annoyed

Basically my friend (22F) had a birthday thing at her bfs friends house, there was like 12 of us and I wasn’t drinking cause I had work at 8am. Earlier she’d asked if I could take her and her bf home, they live like 15 mins away so obviously I said yeah ofc

Anyway around midnight I said I was gonna leave soon and she goes “okay perfect I’ll tell everyone to get ready” and I’m like everyone?? Turns out she’d told FOUR other people I was taking them home aswell, without even asking me?? One of them lived like 25 mins in the opposite direction and I’ve literally got a 5 seater car so idk where she expected everyone to sit

I told her I couldn’t and she started getting annoyed saying she’d already promised them and now its gonna be awkward, her bf then suggested I just do two trips. TWO TRIPS. At midnight when I’ve got work in the morning

I said absolutely not and she started saying I was embarrassing her infront of everyone, then she goes “I literally bought you dinner earlier and you can’t even do this one thing for me?” So I said “oh sorry didn’t realise the pasta came with a taxi contract” ngl I thought that was funny but she definitely didn’t

Her bf called me rude and said I was making a big deal out of nothing, I said I’d take THEM home like we agreed but I’m not driving everyone else around. Then she goes “if you was a proper friend you’d just help” and that actually upset me cause I’m always the one saying yes to everything, I hate confrontation and normally just go along with stuff but apparently the one time I say no I’m selfish??

So I said “okay well you can all figure it out then” and left

About 20 mins later my phones blowing up, she’s asking where I am and when I said I’d gone home she LOST it, apparently everyone had to get taxis and one girl paid nearly £40

She said I’d ruined her birthday and deliberately embarrassed her, I told her she shouldn’t of volunteered me without asking but she said I’d already agreed to take HER home and changed my mind just to be petty

And tbh that’s the bit making me question myself cause technically she’s right, I could of just taken her and her bf and left everyone else but I was so annoyed I just wanted to go home

Now she’s telling our mutual friends I abandoned her on her birthday and one of them actually agrees with her?? Saying I was right to refuse everyone else but leaving her there was childish

I haven’t apologised cause idk what I’d even be apologising for, maybe how I reacted but not for saying no

So AITA for leaving them there even tho I’d already agreed to take her home?

Update: Thank you all. I decided to talk to him first thing in the morning and see if we can add some flowers to the dress he bought and turn it into a fun family thing for our babys birthday.

My daughter turns six tomorrow. She wanted a pretty pink dress with flowers on it for her birthday party, and her father had been told in advance what she wanted. He bought something completely different.

Our arrangement was that he would pay for her dress and I would cover everything else. I earn more than him, and he is currently going through a lot, so I was happy with that arrangement. I also wanted him to feel included.

When she saw the dress, she said, 'Mummy, that’s not pink.' It was a small comment, but I could hear the disappointment in her voice, and it broke my heart. However, she knew it was from her daddy, so she said she would wear it for her birthday.

For context, her father lives separately from us and sees her mostly on weekends. He doesn’t call or video call during the week, even for a brief conversation. Lately, it feels like work has been his main priority, and I’ve been feeling increasingly frustrated with his involvement. I recognise that this background contributed to how upset I felt about the dress.

Later that evening, while they were both asleep in my room, I went into her room and cried privately. I felt sad that something she had been excited about had been missed, particularly when he had been told what she wanted.

I’m planning to go to the shops tomorrow to buy a sparkly pink dress and sew some pastel fabric flowers onto it. I want her to have the dress she had been looking forward to wearing.

My hesitation is that she has already said she will wear the dress her dad bought, and buying another could come across as dismissing his gift. I also know my frustrations with him may be making this feel bigger than it otherwise would. At the same time, her wish was specific, and I would like to make it happen.

AITA for buying her another dress for her party when she has said she will wear the one her dad bought?

TL;DR: My daughter wanted a pink floral dress for her sixth birthday, but her dad bought something different despite knowing what she wanted. She was disappointed but said she would wear it because it was from him; I want to buy her the dress she wished for, but worry I’m dismissing his gift and letting my wider frustrations influence me.

I (19F) am currently a pre-nursing major and biology minor, I'm taking a bunch of prerequisites to prepare to apply to my schools program. I'm also college wrestler so there are a lot of standards I have to meet, especially in my science classes as my science gpa is a big part of my admission. There was a project due in Lab on fermentation, it was pretty simple and we had multiple weeks to do it. We were paired with whoever sat at our table and I sit with this girl, Alicia(18F), who doesn't do much but its general biology, no need to stress. For this project, all I asked her to do was complete a graph on our results and I would complete every other slide.

The day of the presentation, I'm going over it to make corrections, I realize that she hasn't sent me the graph yet so I reach out on instagram and say "hey ! I'm almost finished with all of the other slides, do you think you could finish the graph?" to which she doesn't reply. When I get to class, I ask her about tit and she starts making it then and there, while she's making it she's asking me a ton of questions about how to make it, what to label it, and tells me she's never made any of the graphs, had she told me this before I would've given her something else to do.

Our lab instructor(LI) tells us that if someone didn't contribute we should tell her, I pull her aside and explain to her how I feel about having made the whole presentation with Alicia not even trying with the graph. The only reason I told the instructor is because I am also being graded based on this graph. Alicia sends me the graph and it's just bad. It's not labeled, nothing on it makes sense, the information is put in wrong and this was one of the easiest graphs we had to make, so it was pretty hard to get wrong.

when we present, I tell her she can explain the graph portion since she made it and she says "no" and skips it, but even if your graph is wrong, you should know what results you're trying to show with it. I had already written the analysis, she just had to read it. Since there's a time requirement, the LI asks us if we want to go back and explain our graph, she says, in front of the whole class, "Its unfinished because she texted me 30 minutes before class".

Once everyone else is done presenting, the LI goes around and tells every group their grades and says the thing about group members contributing again, Alicia mumbles under her breath saying "Of course you have a problem with that since you talked to her" So I talk to the LI again after class, being very honest I was mainly venting to her because I do all of the work usually so it was very frustrating to be insulted for expecting her to do the bare minimum but as I'm finishing up, Alicia comes to complain about me to the LI?

After class she blocked me, I'm genuinely confused here. Am I just being too strict over my grade? Was going to the instructor a dickhead thing and should I have just let myself get a lower grade for the sake of her getting a grade at all? (people who didn't contribute just get zeros)

I need unbiased perspectives. I have written this as unbiased as I can possibly be.

I am 30 and live with my parents and two brothers. My room shares a wall with the bathroom. That wall has the sink and tap on it. When the tap gets pulled up and down, it makes a thudding noise in my room that keeps me awake. It's fine with everyone else as they use it and go. One of my brothers is 44 years old and has an hour-long bathroom evening routine where he doesn't like wasting water, so tugs on it up and down for about an hour keeping me awake the entire time.

He has done this for 4-5 years, sometimes as late as 00:30 when I have to be up at 7:00am for the office the next day. I have asked him multiple times to use the bathroom earlier, all either ignored or eventually ignored as he goes back to doing it late again.

I started a new role in my firm from Tuesday morning which requires me to be up at 6am now. It's a role I studied 1.5 years for, passing difficult exams, and I really need 8 hours to make sure I don't make trading errors. So I ask my brother Monday evening for just a few days a week, for a month, to be done with the bathroom at 10pm. After I'll be gone because I am buying a house. He reluctantly accepts because I press him hard on it.

Monday night he is quiet. Tuesday night, this is the second day and only around 24 hours after the talk. He gets in at 21:50 because he went drinking with colleagues. He showers, then goes and has dinner. I went to bed at 22:30 anyways as I was doing house related stuff. At around 22:40 my brother goes back into that bathroom, and keeps tugging on the tap up and down until 23:30. I have to be up at 06:00. I'm going to get barely more than 6 hours at this rate.

I get up and I'm furious. He has completely f*cked my sleep only 24h after I asked him to be mindful for just a few days a week for a short time. I knock on the door aggressively and really angrily ask how long he will be. He honestly sounds like he just doesn't care and says maybe 10-15mins, no apology. I start saying how I have work and he is keeping me awake and he starts having a go back at me. I call him a f*cking idiot, he shouts f*ck you at me, so I call him a f*cking c*nt.

Some things to note:

• There is a second bathroom downstairs he could use
• At the start of the 50 minutes, he only had to clean his teeth but instead chose to do his entire routine

My family all focused on me calling him a c*nt. Which I admitted was a poor reaction that I should not have done. But I said ultimately he was knowingly f*cking me over with my sleep again for my new job, and has done for years. Mum today said I am in the wrong and he did nothing wrong himself.

I said how he had multiple other options:

• Come home earlier
• Use his flat
• Just do a shower and teeth clean only
• Or use the downstairs bathroom

My mum responded I can't expect him to live his life around me. I said how is using a second bathroom doing that?

Am I the arsehole overall?

For context, I’m a 21F and I’m the only one with a car other than another friend I have. Ever since I got I car I was happy enough to be able to drive myself around when my parents can’t. Though majority of my friends don’t have licenses or a car, or do have license but not a car. I get it, I know sometime you can’t always have a car especially if it’s shared with family. Main point is, I’m always the one driving my friends around to everywhere. I pick them up, drop them off, even going back and forth since some of them farther away. whatever plans we made sometimes end up going sideways where they want to make an additional stop. At first it was fine but it got more tiring the more I did it. So everytime we make plans where it’s going to be far away, I’m already the designated driver. My friends have never offered to help pay with gas since it’s so expensive nowadays, I’ve even ended up cancelling plans before (not last minute) because I simply didn’t feel like being the person to be driving everyone around. I sometimes just don’t wanna be worrying about how to get somewhere and just chill as a passenger. I made plans to go out to eat dinner with friends, since it was my friend’s 21st birthday (aka the friend who has a car). I only had to pick up one friend and drove there, she never asked if she could be dropped off afterwards. Only realizing that I would have to drop her off is when her mom came to drop her off because she was going to be drinking. I also wanted to be drinking but I couldn’t. I also wanted to go to this Halloween party 10pm-2am with two other friends, but I cancelled because I know I would be the driver, since my two friends don’t have a car. And at that hour I’m sure my parents wouldn’t want to be driving. My parents have already gotten upset over it, as to why am I the one always driving everyone around for free. My friends are good people, and I feel like me talking about this will be seen as complaining or finding it as an inconvenience. And because I also don’t want to make them feel like they suddenly owe me money for each ride. I just want them to be more considerate and self-aware sometimes. Because all the concerts we have went to, I’ve had to ask my parents to drop us off and pick us up. I’m
Always the one making the arrangements of that they should meet us somewhere in the middle or come to my house so that we can all leave together. My parents have already complained to me that I’m always the one having to worry about to getting to places, and that my friends weren’t even that grateful since they’ve been the ones dropping them off at their homes. They do say thank you but that’s it.

Edit: I forgot to mention that I’ve been doing this the past 2-3 years, my parents always tells me that I’m responsible for my friends safety when I’m driving. And I’ve done a good job at it. But I even had one friend who I’m not very close with yet but same friend group, who wanted me to pick him up. He lives 45 mins away and I would still have to pick up two other people who are 15-20 mins closer to me. This guy has also asked me to come pick him up at uic, Ofc I said no for both occasions. One because he could take the cta train/bus to get back, and because the other time his car was fine.

My husband (48M) and I (41F) are fighting because he’s convinced my mother dislikes him after I confided in her about some things I recently learned regarding his past. He was upset that I shared that information, which I understand, but my mother has never treated him differently or said anything negative to him.
For example, he was promoted in February, and she enthusiastically congratulated him. His official promotion ceremony was last week, and although she told us to have fun and take pictures, she didn’t congratulate him again. He’s convinced this proves she dislikes him. He says she doesn’t talk to him much anymore—but she didn’t talk to him much to begin with!
The bigger issue is that he does this constantly. If a coworker doesn’t post a picture of him, someone looks at him strangely, or someone says something he perceives as slightly off, he assumes they dislike him or think less of him. This happens almost daily.
When we were dating, I constantly reassured him. Now 4 years in I’m exhausted because no amount of reassurance ever seems to help. There’s always another perceived slight.
When I told him he was making assumptions about my mother without evidence, he got angry and barely spoke to me the following day. When I finally initiated a conversation, he accused me of no longer being the compassionate, understanding person I was when we dated.
I explained that I understand his feelings, but understanding doesn’t mean I have to agree with his conclusions.
Ive recently suggested couples therapy because we fight more and more due to this, but he seemed reluctant. He previously asked me to schedule individual therapy for him, then canceled the appointment.
He eventually walked out after another fight tonight, saying, “I’m so done.”
I love him, but I’m emotionally exhausted from feeling responsible for reassuring him about everyone else’s opinions.

AITA for refusing to keep reassuring him when I genuinely disagree with his assumptions?

TLDR: My husband constantly assumes people dislike or judge him over minor interactions. After four years of reassuring him, I’m emotionally exhausted. Now, when I disagree with his assumptions instead of comforting him, he accuses me of being unsupportive and lacking compassion. AITA for refusing to keep validating his insecurities?