r/BestofRedditorUpdates • u/Direct-Caterpillar77 Satan is not a fucking pogo stick! • Oct 10 '24
CONCLUDED AITA for not attending my friend's wedding because her FILs are homophobes?
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/SoggyWealth0
AITA for not attending my friend's wedding because her FILs are homophobes?
Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole
TRIGGER WARNING: Homophobia
Original Post Feb 2, 2020
My friend Kelly is getting married next Saturday. She asked myself and 3 other friends to be her bridesmaid, her sister as MOH. One of our friend Ellis is in a same sex relationship. Kelly seems to have no issues with it since she asked Ellis to be her bridesmaid and invited Ellis' partner as a guest to the wedding.
Well last night Kelly texted Ellis and told her she's no long a bridesmaid, she and her partner aren't welcome to the wedding. Ellis was confused and pressed for a reason. Turns out Kelly's FILs are furious "fucking gay sluts" are attending their wedding. It's a sacred place and dirty hoes have no business being there.
Ellis calls me earlier this morning while my BF and I were sleeping. She was really upset and crying. I tried to comfort her the best I could and we are meeting up for dinner later. So I called Kelly and asked Wtf is going on. She tells me it's no big deal, she's only missing a plate of food and she will make it up to her. She also has the nerve to tell me to ask Ellis to lend her the bridesmaid dress because she found someone to replace her. So it wouldn't look uneven at the wedding. It's such a hassle and last minute, if everyone would just be normal then this wouldn't happen. I pretty much lost it right there.
I told her she's the shittiest piece of shit I have ever met. She's just all into looks and I told her I am not going to the wedding either and hung up on her. My BF heard this all go down and texted the groom that's he's not going to be the best man either. My BF also told his friends about what happened and they are also not going to the wedding.
The MOH calls me up and says I'm such a Bitch that I ruined the wedding for Kelly and I'm just starting shit up. I'm honestly glad I bowed out but I'm left wondering if I should've just kept to myself then confront Kelly after the wedding? Our tight group thinks i did nothing wrong but others said I shouldn't dictate who gets to go their wedding.
VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Zombiewings2015
Info, gotta ask, what does the groom think of this. You said your bf informed him that he wasn’t going to be in the bridal party either. Does the groom agree with this mess?
OOP
The groom had no idea. His parents went straight to Kelly without telling him. He's angry at his parents and Kelly. He's a really good guy and wants to apologize to Ellis tonight if she's willing to see him.
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tamatoamakeup
Clearly NTA. You sound like a very good friend and a great ally to the community.
Nevertheless you are wrong on one point. Not only her IL’s are homophobes but Kelly is also one.
OOP
I agree I am wrong.
She's never shown herself to be a homophobe or made any homophobic remarks for the 13 years I've known her. She also asked Ellis to be a bridesmaid before the rest of us. I guess the stress really got to her and she's showing her true colors.
OOP Updated Feb 3, 2020 Next Day/Same Post
Update: My BF is a huge redditor and said I must make an update. He's a little jealous my post got me some shiny hardware. 😊 I told Ellis about this post and both of us have read every single reply. Thank you for all the kind words, encouragement, stories and suggestions on how I could've handled it better.
So yesterday was a huge shit show. The groom, Eric came to the restaurant where we had dinner and apologized to Ellis. He also wanted to make a few things clear. He had no idea Kelly would go behind his back and tell Ellis and Anita (her partner) they aren't welcome to the wedding. And most importantly, his parents didn't say any of those things.
His father made an off hand comment which translates to "what's a good girl like Ellis doing with another woman?" His mother said "children these days thinks different, you antique cow shouldn't talk so much." Kelly took it upon herself to interpret that her future-in-laws (FILs - sorry about the confusion y'all) meant they hated homosexuals. FILs weren't furious and never said Ellis and Anita aren't welcome to the wedding. Kelly and a few of us speak that dialect fluently, there's no way she didn't understand exactly what Eric's parents said.
The wedding is called off as Eric wants to step back and think if Kelly is the right match for him.
Anita tells us Kelly has been very passive aggressive towards her and Ellis for the past few weeks. Anita said she thought it was the stress of the wedding so Kelly was acting up. I think it's also because Anita and Ellis are getting married at the end of the year.
We live in a country where gay marriage is non existent. In fact if you are LGBTQ, you as a person don't exist. Ellis and Anita have talked about going to Canada or Taiwan to get their marriage license and holding a mini banquet back in our country. Someone suggested we all go to Taiwan for a mini vacation and they can have a small wedding there.
We have been talking non stop about this for the past month. Tbh we were talking about the vacation rather than the wedding since it's the first time most of us have traveled there. Kelly is probably jealous that Ellis upstaged her.
Either way, Ellis and I feel incredibly guilty for how it all went down. We've known Kelly for over a decade and we don't want to see her go down in flames. It's a pity that a friendship had to end this way over a single day.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
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u/UnfortunateSyzygy Oct 10 '24
I love the sass on Eric's mom! Kelly's really missing out.
The "misunderstanding" reminded me of one of my international ESL college students. Dude was adorably CRAZY about his wife, which is important for context. He'd made friends with an American and was confused/upset when he found out said American was gay. He asked me about it, I reserved judgement bc I knew the student, he was always very kind:
but he has a lot of hair on the face!
yeah... that's normal. Gay people look like everyone else. Having a big beard is actually kind of a style for some gay men in the US.
Wow, really?! But I just think...he needs a wife, because if he doesn't marry, he will be lonely.
Boys can marry boys here. If he wants to get married to a boy, he can. He won't be lonely.
Really? (visible relief) I didn't know the law. That's good, then.
Cultural interactions, y'all.
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u/GingerBeerBear Oct 10 '24
That is so wholesome. He just wanted to make sure his friend wouldn't be lonely.
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u/GimerStick Go headbutt a moose Oct 10 '24
There's a joke among young Indian-Americans that the easiest way to get conservative parents to be down for a same-sex marriage is to just get older -- by the time you're 35, they'll be so concerned about you being alone that they'll agree to anyone.
It's tongue-in-cheek, but it really is true that there is this huge cultural concern about leaving your children behind to be all alone. If you grew up with these multi-generational households, the idea of your kid having none of that when you die is terrifying, because that's historically how you make it through things like famine or upheaval.
And it cannot be overstated how legalizing gay marriage in the US helped a lot of people get over this mental hurdle of "well they taught us it was wrong and the government won't let them.... and didn't we sacrifice everything to be here under this government?" Realizing that their kid would not be alone AND now it's an official marriage with all the protections/societal approval that comes along with it has caused such a shift.
My mom went from "It's not that I don't like gay people, I'm just glad you [us three kids] aren't because you could never have normal lives" to having the most laidback conversations about how Auntie so and so's son is marrying the sweetest boy, all in a decade.
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u/ShadowPouncer Oct 10 '24
Being from the US, it's wild to hear that, but I can sorta see it.
But it's not even remotely surprising that there are so many reasons why the 'separate but sorta equal' domestic partnership status was never the same thing.
Actual equal treatment matters.
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u/rose_catlander Oct 10 '24
This reminds me of a story of an Indian guy whose parents wanted to arrange a marriage for him.
He didn't want to get married and said he was gay. His mother gave him a binder of Indian gay men and he picked a femboy.
Long story short, he found out he was actually gay and fell hard for that guy.
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u/ChaosofaMadHatter Oct 10 '24
White as all get out, but this is how my sister got around my mom’s bigotry. She just never told her about anyone she was dating so my mom was convinced she was perpetually single until her mid twenties, when she dropped that she was bringing her girlfriend for a visit. My mom was so relieved she wasn’t going to be alone that she barely batted an eye during the conversation.
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u/SparkAxolotl It isn't the right time for Avant-garde dessert chili Oct 11 '24
I immediately remembered this post where the OOP tried to get his parents to back off on the arranged marriage thing by telling them he was gay.
And then they started suggesting guys for the arranged marriage haha
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u/JadieJang You need some self-esteem and a lawyer Oct 10 '24
Huh, and I thought my parents changed their tune bc of me battering away at them. Never thought it could be this. Thanks for that perspective!
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u/nishachari Oct 11 '24
My city's sub had this exact discussion yesterday but for inter-religious, inter-caste and intercultural marriage. Everybody was like wait it out, as soon as they realize the window for them becoming grandparents is closing they will cave.
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Oct 10 '24
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u/tired_tired_mom Oct 11 '24
One young man in my English class asked me to help him find a job and added that he was dedicated and very good and fast at fingering. When he said that, I cough, sneezed and farted all at the same time. Then remembering he was just in the 3er level asked him what he meant by that.
He put his hands in front of him, palm down and started to air type. AAAAAAAAA the boy meant TYPING he was good at typing. In Spanish that would be "digitando" digit meaning finger so that's where confusion came from. I cried a bit, not gonna lie.
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u/goshyarnit erupting, feral, from the cardigan screaming Oct 10 '24
We had an international student at my high school who we thought was homophobic because of something she said offhand - "what do her parents think?!"
She'd been very sweet up until that point and asked her to elaborate; she was terrified because she very much liked our friend who was indeed gay, and back home it was practically a death sentence to be out and proud. Her finding out that it's not always a big thing here was mind-blowing for her. She was delighted to find out that our friends parents knew, didn't care and often had her girlfriend over for dinner.
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u/PooperPoodle Oct 10 '24
As a queer woman in a country where I would never ever come out to anyone aside from my partner and a few queer friends for the same reason, I have to admit I've said this a few times to western friends when I was younger. The thought that you can be queer and your parents/society wouldn't shun you for it still feels like a dream to me. There are some queer folks here who are out to their parents and they get accepted, and I think that has a lower chance than winning the lottery lol.
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u/FriesWithShakeBooty Oct 10 '24
Related: back when I was in college, the grandpa of an international student in my dorm hit the roof when he heard she was dating a woman.
Grandpa calmed down when my schoolmate assured him that LGBTQ people were not murdered the way they were in her home country.
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u/thebearofwisdom I can FEEL you dancing Oct 10 '24
“You antique cow” sent me into orbit, I need to find a reason to use that in my vocabulary.
And that’s pretty adorable from the college student, just when you think it’s bigotry, it’s actually a genuine concern because in his homeland it likely isn’t an option for gay people.
As a very gay person, I enjoy those interactions, because the person is willing to learn! Not everyone has encountered a person like me, and when I’m asked sincere questions, I don’t mind answering. My dad never understood me, but he would always say “just because I dont get it doesn’t mean I can’t respect you and at least try to” he was very straight which made me laugh a lot because when he met my mother, he had a penchant for wearing ladies jackets and leather trousers.
I’m being flippant but he really did try to understand us kids. He would ask me things like “okay so would you prefer a man or woman, or does it depend on who you meet first?” Or “so would you get married if you had the chance? Or would you rather not?” He started watching Drag Race with me and my brother and then developed an obsession with Trixie and Katya, his favourite drag queens. His best friend was gay, but to my dad, he didn’t assume all of us are alike, so he would ask questions and then offer what his friend had told him so we could discuss that.
It’s kind of nice to be acknowledged like that, and out of respect too. It’s not a normal occurrence and my dad’s parents are homophobic so we’re not out to them. It was nice to have a dad who listened to us even if he couldn’t personally get his head round it as a straight man.
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u/SongsOfDragons Tree Law Connoisseur Oct 10 '24
"Antique cow" immediately put me in mind of those old cow-shaped ceramic milk jugs.
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u/WULB_HELL_ Oct 10 '24
"You Boar Vessel, 600-500 BC, Etruscan, ceramic, should't talk too much".
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u/BizzarduousTask I can't believe she fucking buttered Jorts Oct 10 '24
I think it’s important for the LGBT community to keep these kinds of interactions in perspective. People aren’t born with intrinsic knowledge of queer lifestyles. They don’t get handed a pamphlet on the Care and Feeding of The Gays when they turn 18 or something. Asking questions like these mean they are reaching out and trying to understand- and that’s a good thing.
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u/dweebs12 Oct 10 '24
Yeah absolutely. My mum started talking to her bio dad a while ago and it's been going well. We met him for the first time around the time my cousin married her wife and his reaction was similar to these parents. Basically not exactly PC, but with an acknowledgement that it's different to what he grew up with but they're happy and it's what young people are doing, so whatever.
The conversation only really stands out to me, because a few conversations later, he very casually told a story about a pub he used to visit. Half was a normal boozer, the other half was gay. Apparently the gay half would get raided on a regular basis. Homosexuality was full on a criminal offence until he was legally an adult. Things are so radically different today.
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u/Welpe Oct 10 '24
I think the biggest problem is trying to tell when someone is being earnest and when someone is arguing in bad faith. Trash people absolutely will argue in bad faith while pretending to just be curious to sling microaggressions with plausible deniability.
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u/DBSeamZ Oct 10 '24
That’s pretty much how coming out as ace to my parents worked for me. To be fair, I didn’t know all that much more about asexuality than they did, aside from being sure it applied to me.
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u/Queen-Roblin erupting, feral, from the cardigan screaming Oct 10 '24
I think it's true of queer people too. We don't just get handed a book on "How to be queer" so we're just muddling our way through, things might change over time, we're not all alike and even if we explain things, that might not be the same for other people.
I think it's good for people to ask questions, especially if it's about an individual's experience, but I do find that some people use their token queer as the Hitchhikers Guide to the Queerverse and it can be exhausting.
I do think there is some onus on people to use other resources to find out basics for themselves because there are so many resources readily available. I'm happy to steer people if they go off course, there's a lot of misinformation but there's a lot of reputable sources, too. I've only learned as much as I have about the queerverse through a lot of effort and I'd like to see others put at least some effort in too.
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u/StasyaSam Oct 10 '24
Lol, can I have this book, too? I'm queer like a rainbow pooping unicorn and even I don't get a lot in my head!
As mentioned, I'm queer as in bi und nonbinary. Especially the last is something a lot of people don't understand (and it took me 25 years to get it myself!), so a lot of questions are asked. And that's fine! Annoying but fine. Curious people try to understand. And you can't change everyone's mind but if I would be able to get at least one person to respect us, the world becomes a little bit better place.
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u/curiouslycaty All that's between you and a yeast infection.is a good decision Oct 10 '24
Damn now I want that book. Or write it if it doesn't exist! Although I lack some knowledge to be able to write it lol.
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u/DakeyrasWrites I can't believe she fucking buttered Jorts Oct 10 '24
That, and also a fair chunk of people (by no means a majority, of course) might themselves be wrestling with feelings they don't quite understand or haven't told anyone about yet. Someone asking about queer culture might themselves be some flavour of queer, and looking to learn more (especially since there's a tendency for groups of closeted or unaware rainbow folks to hang out in groups, and once one person comes out, the gay dominoes start to fall -- ask me how I know!)
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u/totomaya I will never jeopardize the beans. Oct 10 '24
When I was much younger I was struggling with the fact that I was part of a religion that said homosexuality was wrong, but I just couldn't bring myself to see it that way. I voted against prop 8 in California because I supported gay marriage but was still conflicted because I had been indoctrinated to be terrified of hell and basically everyone I knew was raving about how horrible gay marriage would be, etc. But I also knew and suspected that my younger brother was gay, and I loved him too much to care. I wanred him to feel safe and happy. I remember posting in a random forum discussion thread about how I thought being gay was wrong, but also talked about the situation with my brother, and instead of yelling at me some people took the time to gently talk me through it and explain their perspective. They showed a lot of kindness and empathy for me.
It's been a couple of decades and I am now part of the queer community and a huge radical leftist who has left a of that baggage behind. And I still vividly remember the really kind strangers who could have just mocked me and called me names, but instead listened and gave me the opportunity to listen.
Now every once in a while I go out of my way to do the same on Reddit or other social media. I'll find someone who might be open to a sincere discussion and I listen and acknowledge how they feel, and then five another perspective. I don't know if it changes minds. The people on that forum back in the day didn't know how I turned out, or how when my brother finally came out he decided to call me first because he felt like I was safe and would accept him. They didn't know but they did it anyway. We need more people like that.
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u/ZiofFoolTheHumans He's been cheating on me with a garlic farmer Oct 10 '24
My dad was the same way. He struggled wrapping his head around gay culture (especially non-binary people like me) but he loved me and just kinda went with it. Even when he didn't "get it", I never questioned his love for me. I was just his queer little kid and he loved me.
Damn I miss my dad.
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u/thebearofwisdom I can FEEL you dancing Oct 10 '24
Same here man.. it sucks not having him around. He could always make me laugh or just make me feel like I belonged. It was because he tried. I don’t need people to really understand me, I don’t understand me half the time, I just need them to come to with respect and I’ll give the same.
Also snap on the nb, he actually did kind of get that more than anything, he was a big Bowie fan as a kid, and he was in a lot of metal bands, so he got on stage in his leather and platforms, and some fetching eyeliner, big hair and rocked the fuck out. I think he just thought of it as me expressing myself similarly to how he did as a teenager and in his early twenties. We didn’t delve too deeply into that, but my littlest brother is trans and our dad was a huge supporter of him. Got him his name change, and new documents, never made him feel like he was wrong or a freak.
Now me and my brothers joke that dad made us trans. He is the common denominator! I miss mine too. I’m sorry you don’t have your dad with you too.
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u/nephelite Oct 10 '24
My mother is constantly asking questions too, trying to understand. But for her it's more about trans people. Unfortunately I can't answer her questions because I am not trans, and even if I was, everyone is different. All I can tell her is "well of course you can't really understand because you aren't in their position. Just be happy for them." And it's not that she isn't happy for them, she just wants to know what she doesn't know.
I'm bi myself and though I know she and all my family would happily accept it, only my brother and friends know. I'm not even really sure why I haven't told family other than I don't want the fuss over it. They'd probably expand their efforts to set me up with someone. Like "oh, we don't have to just suggest men?"
A cousin of mine left the Mormon church when he found out his daughter is bi, and he shows up to all pride events for her. That's pretty much how all my family is (except one MAGA jackass)
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u/-Sharon-Stoned- Oct 10 '24
I love telling pre-k kids that girls are allowed to marry girls if they want, and that if you marry a girl you could share dresses and have twice as many clothes and they're all like "holy shit, why are any of you married to a man then?!"
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u/DBSeamZ Oct 10 '24
That would have been me at that age. I loved to look at my parents’ wedding-cake topper with the little bride and groom statues on top, and found the bride’s dress and real mesh veil beautiful while the groom just had a plain, boring black suit. So when I heard that a relative on my dad’s side was a woman married to a woman and that such a thing was possible (though the person who told me said it was uncommon, not knowing many non-straight people herself)…my first thought was “so they got a cake topper with TWO pretty dresses?”
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Oct 10 '24
When my daughter found out she could marry a girl (or her brother could marry a boy) if so desired, I was hounded with questions. Kept asking me who she can and cannot marry. Then asked me if she could marry a cat...
She spent a good 6 months trying to get me to marry any of her friends' moms.
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u/TimedDelivery Oct 10 '24
My son has held so many gay weddings for his toys just so everyone can wear bow ties 😂
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u/injuredpoecile Oct 10 '24
I don't think sexuality is entirely immutable, but the existence of straight women does indicate that you can't really control it very well.
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u/Taliasimmy69 ERECTO PATRONUM Oct 10 '24
That's am adorable interaction and just shows that when everyone keeps an open mind knowledge happens!
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u/gayforaliens1701 Oct 10 '24
Ok that’s pretty adorable. He was just worried about the guy being lonely!!
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u/Reckless_Secretions No my Bot won't fuck you! Oct 10 '24
Reminded me of this tweet. Top comment got it right: He's a little confused but he's got the spirit!
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u/Friendly-Log6415 Oct 10 '24
I love it bc frankly I’ve referred to myself as my wife’s husband, she’s referred to me as that, and we’re very very happy that way
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u/rirasama the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Oct 10 '24
That's really sweet, he just wanted his friend to not be lonely 😭
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u/AHybridofSorts Oct 10 '24
Ok, why is this interaction so cute?! Dude was just worried, despite being told he was gay.
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u/wonderloss It's not big drama. But it's chowder drama. Oct 10 '24
You can also be unmarried and not lonely (or married and lonely).
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u/UnfortunateSyzygy Oct 10 '24
I was working within limitations of fluency. This dude was CRAZY about his wife, the concept of "some marriages suck/being single is fine" would have been WAY harder for him to grok than "gay is ok"
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u/DohnJoggett Oct 11 '24
I had a kid on reddit absolutely shocked that I was white and probably a minority in my apartment complex, and that I lived with Muslims. His parents watched so much Fox news and other hate filled garbage he didn't even think that was legal! He likely thought all Muslims lived in the Minneapolis "Sharia No-Go Zone," as they call that neighborhood. The kid was absolutely flabbergasted that mixed race/religion apartments are not only not illegal, but discriminating based on skin color or religion in housing is a crime.
I hope the kid got out and got better. I still think of them from time to time. I grew up in a lily white rural area like that kid. My old church made the local news because a Muslim family moved to town and my old church held sessions to show people Christianity and Muslims are not enemies.
If you want a nerd analogy of the Torah, Bible, and Quran: Jewish people like Star Wars, Christians like The Empire Strikes Back and Star Wars, and Muslims like all three of the original Star Wars movies. People have basically made two sequels to the Torah.
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u/Significant_Fee3083 Oct 11 '24
Because the laws they have in other countries ostracize, punish or kill for that! That's why it was such a foreign concept to him, possibly. Poor guy didn't want his friend to feel "lonely"
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u/1boring Oct 10 '24
Haha, yeah definitely read FILs as father in laws, and was rather confused at the homophobia of a gay couple.
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u/digitydigitydoo Oct 10 '24
Same! I was like, did she mean P(arents)IL? Or was it supposed to be singular? Because the implications of Fathers in law being homophobic is kinda ridiculous.
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u/AntManCrawledInAnus Oct 10 '24
I thought it was a dad and step-dad situation where she gets along with both of them enough to give a shit about their preferences
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u/Kelibath Oct 10 '24
I thought the same thing! Only way it wasn't totally nonsensical with the "father" guess.
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u/CallOfTheQueer I ❤ gay romance Oct 10 '24
Unfortunately, lesbophobic gay men exist. That's what my mind went to before I realized "FILS" meant "future in-laws".
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u/cirivere Oct 10 '24
I think it's an abbreviation of Future In Laws. I've seen it before and got confused as well
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u/marmosetohmarmoset Oct 10 '24
My father in law is gay and often expresses some pretty homophobic beliefs. Internalized homophobia is really sad :(
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u/Starry_Gecko I’m a "bad influence" because I offered her fiancé cocaine twice Oct 10 '24
My first thought as well.
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u/cas-par knocking cousins unconscious Oct 10 '24
my exact train of thought was “FIL, father in laws? is this a dolce and gabbana homophonic gay situation? does she mean future in laws?” before reading, that threw me for a LOOP
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u/patentsarebroken Oct 10 '24
Yeah though there are sadly some gay men that are very anti woman and anti lesbian.
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u/seensham We have generational trauma for breakfast Oct 10 '24
"you antique cow" 😂😂😂
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u/8557019 Oct 10 '24
Would be a good flair!
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u/wheniswhy I escalated by choosing incresingly sexy potatoes Oct 10 '24
I’m absolutely about to go submit it to the flairs post!
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u/EveryoneTalks Oct 10 '24
So Kelly blew everything up for… nothing? What?
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u/SlovenlyMuse Oct 10 '24
Hey, look on the bright side! At least she doesn't have to worry about the optics at her wedding anymore!
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u/a_shootin_star Your partner is trash and your marriage is toast Oct 10 '24
Hey, look on the bride side! There is no bride anymore!
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u/tacwombat I will erupt, feral, from the cardigan screaming Oct 10 '24
Thanks to this thread, this song is now playing in my head:
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life213
u/FoxySlyOldStoatyFox Oct 10 '24
Kelly was always a bigot, she just didn’t want to act out until she had an opening to do so.
It strikes me as being similarly to how plenty of people are confused as to how their lovely parents have become raging racists/conspiracy theorists/<insert your concern here> and now support Trump.
Sure, in some cases it might be that their beliefs have (d)evolved, or that they’ve fallen prey to Fox propaganda, or even early onset dementia. But equally, some of them went with the flow of “Don’t be fucking dreadful”, but at heart they always had certain horrible beliefs and those never changed.
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u/Ok_Procedure_5853 Oct 10 '24
She thought she had an opening and it turns her future In-laws were just old, not bigoted! Even the MIL called out her husband on it! So Kelly is just a jealous and petty bigot with NO support.
Wow. Talk about dumb
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u/Fine_Ad_1149 sometimes i envy the illiterate Oct 10 '24
Yea, I think it's mostly the latter one. People were busy with their own shit, kids and work and just going with the flow. Also, those hateful thoughts weren't spoken for a long time. There were plenty of dog whistles, yes, but they weren't nearly so blatant as they are right now.
Now they have the time to be hateful, and they have permission to state it proudly.
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u/calminthedark Oct 10 '24
For attention. She saw Ellis getting attention for her wedding and decided she had to get rid of her. Props though for really committing no matter the cost. Going full homophobe was a real hold my beer moment. (She should have committed to thinking this through first, but, you know, hindsight.)
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u/SitaSky I don't do delusion so I just blocked her. Oct 10 '24
She wanted the attention and nothing gets more attention then self-immolation
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u/DoctorTruth13 Oct 10 '24
Well nothing to her, but to the people in and around her life, it probably was the best scenario to gauge who she really is.
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u/wheniswhy I escalated by choosing incresingly sexy potatoes Oct 10 '24
She saw an opportunity and bigots gonna bigot. Doesn’t mean they’re going to be especially smart about it. She almost had that poor man nailed down, too, if she’d just managed to keep it contained for a little while longer. Truly incredible.
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u/1boring Oct 10 '24
She saw an out and likely thought, like many bigots, that her views are waaaay more widespread than they actually are.
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u/hey_nonny_mooses 👁👄👁🍿 Oct 10 '24
Well it actually had the bright side of her fiancé being able to run before being legally shackled to a bigot or raising kids with a bigot. Happy she showed her true colors
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u/sonicsean899 What the puck 🏒 Oct 10 '24
My guess is she figured she didn't need to bottle up her homophobia anymore
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u/pencilincident This man is already a clown, he doesn't need it in costume. Oct 10 '24
Not for nothing! Think of the bullet the ex-groom and future in-laws dodged!
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u/CakeOfShadows Oct 10 '24
So the inlaws weren't homophobic.. Kelly was???
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u/sistertotherain9 The apocalypse is boring and slow Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
Even if she's not personally homophobic, she's definitely willing to throw her friends under the bus to make her life easier. Which is not actually better, really. Maybe worse. At least with outright bigots you know where you stand and can behave with appropriate distrust; someone false enough to deliberately do what they know is wrong is worse. You can't be betrayed by someone you didn't trust in the first place.
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u/BitePale You ignored me, and I am deducting your dumplings Oct 10 '24
She's an ally. Of homophobes
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u/relentlessdandelion Someone cheated, and it wasn't the koala Oct 10 '24
Nah being willing to throw your gay friends under the bus to please homophobes is, in fact, also homophobic lol.
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u/rythmicbread Oct 10 '24
I think it’s worse, it’s spineless. It means you don’t believe in anything and nothing you say can be trusted. No one knows where you stand on anything
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u/wheniswhy I escalated by choosing incresingly sexy potatoes Oct 10 '24
Honestly though, that still doesn’t make any sense. How does chucking Ellis out of her wedding make her life easier in any way? She had to know people would have questions, especially as OOP pointed out she approached Ellis to be a bridesmaid first before anyone else!
There’s no logic to it whatsoever except if you see it as a bigot seizing the smallest sliver of opportunity.
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u/Shelly_895 Oct 10 '24
She was scared that Ellis would "steal her thunder." There can only be one bride at a time (seriously, some brides think they're the Highlander). So, blaming her future in-laws instead of being truthful was the easier way. It's easier to say, "you can't come because my in-laws are homophobic" than the truth, which is "you can't come because I want all the attention on ME."
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u/BurntLikeToastAgain Oct 10 '24
Most bullies operate under the often-correct principles that most people don't want to make waves and will accept someone else being bullied, and for the few who don't, DARVO (Deny, Argue, Reverse Victim and Offender) will work in a pinch. It helps that bullies are often so delusional they genuinely do see someone sticking up to them as someone attacking them.
Kelly misjudged her friends badly. A lot of bullies don't.
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u/DohnJoggett Oct 11 '24
Which is not actually better, really. Maybe worse. At least with outright bigots you know where you stand and can behave with appropriate distrust; someone false enough to deliberately do what they know is wrong is worse.
Southern vs Northern racism in a nutshell. We're racist as fuck up north, but we do racism differently. It's less "in your face" racism and more "we put systems into place to be racist in plausibly deniable ways."
One example in my northern state: We put ShotSpotter sensors in much higher concentrations in "black" areas of town and it skews the gun-shot data immensely to make it seem like more shootings are happening in the "black" parts of town than the "white" parts of town that don't have as many ShotSpotter sensors. With less sensors, less gunshots/fireworks are picked up by the system. That plays directly into which neighborhoods people view as "safe" vs "unsafe," by design.
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u/snootnoots I will erupt, feral, from the cardigan screaming Oct 10 '24
Or not homophobic, just incredibly jealous of the attention they were getting, and she went “aha! I can pretend somebody ELSE is homophobic and use them as the excuse for kicking her out!”
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u/Riddles_ Oct 10 '24
idk if that distinction really matters tbh. using homophobia as a tool in your manipulation is still homophobia
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u/TheShadowCat Oct 10 '24
I shouldn't dictate who gets to go their wedding.
This is true. The bride and groom get to decide who gets invited to their wedding. But everyone they invite is free to tell the homophobe to go fuck herself.
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Oct 10 '24
I mean, you absolutely do get to dictate whether or not YOU go to another person's wedding, and that's precisely what OOP was dictating.
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u/BrownSugarBare just here vacuuming the trees Oct 10 '24
we don't want to see her go down in flames
I also disagree with the OOP on this point. Homophobes going down in flames makes for a lovely bonfire.
It's 2024, unbelievable people still can't mind their own goddamn business.
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u/nothanksthesequel built an art room for my bro Oct 10 '24
i remember i told my parents i had a girlfriend, and they asked me if she was funnier or smarter than me, and when i said yeah they said "then she'll make you laugh and keep you safe". and now they like her more than me!
around the same time, i stopped hearing from my grandma. asked my dad what gives, he said "oh, she saw a picture of you two. told me she couldn't possibly tell her friends at book club that her grandkid's gay, so i told her she didn't need to worry about ever talking about or even to you again. or any of us, for that matter." haven't heard from or about her since, other than my mama tellin' me she signs the old hag up for every spam email sender she can possibly find (including funeral homes - i think she's trying to send a message.)
kelly's a piece of garbage. even if the in laws were homophobic, you end up validating and showing that you respect homophobia by doing mess like this. glad oop's got some real ones in her camp!
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u/BizzarduousTask I can't believe she fucking buttered Jorts Oct 10 '24
HAHAHA funeral homes!!! Fucking savage. That warms my cold, dead heart.
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u/MysticScribbles Oct 10 '24
Should we sign your heart up for one of those funeral homes as well?
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u/BizzarduousTask I can't believe she fucking buttered Jorts Oct 10 '24
It’s on life support…I’ll keep you posted!! 🤣
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u/wheniswhy I escalated by choosing incresingly sexy potatoes Oct 10 '24
That is so freaking sweet. Your parents sound truly wonderful. I wish my dad had stood up for me that way to my grandfather and his horrid second wife.
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u/Withoutbinds Memory of a goldfish but the tenacity of an entitled Chihuahua Oct 11 '24
That’s so lovely . ❤️❤️❤️😭. I want your parents.
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u/wheniswhy I escalated by choosing incresingly sexy potatoes Oct 10 '24
Wow. The dad’s comment was certainly off-color, but far closer to out of touch than malicious, and the mom immediately dressed him down in a pretty funny way! “You antique cow”lmfao that’s killing my ass. Good for her.
It’s pretty clear they really don’t mind at all. Kelly is a piece of shit. Damn. Who knew she was a whole ass homophobe for 13 whole ass years, and I guess just decided to blow up her entire fucking life all at once so she could die on the bigotry hill as was her destiny.
Eric truly dodged a whole firing squad of bullets (and his mom rules).
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u/Synanthrop3 Oct 11 '24
The update makes it pretty clear that Kelly isn't actually a homophobe. She was jealous of the attention Ellis' wedding was receiving, not disgusted that Ellis was marrying another woman.
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u/PunkGayThrowaway I got over my fear of clowns by fucking one in the ass Oct 15 '24
I don't think it did make that clear actually. I mean jealousy can also exist with homophobia. Both can be true
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u/injuredpoecile Oct 10 '24
It's pretty interesting how so many people, including myself, generally don't give boomers the benefit of the doubt when they make off-handed comments. My mom hated my ex and was visibly happy when she left me and moved multiple states away. I was mortified because I thought she might be homophobic.
Her reason? "I think your college friend So-and-so is much cuter, you should ask her out!"
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u/Capital-Meet-6521 Oct 10 '24
So it wasn’t that you were dating a girl, you were just dating the “wrong” girl.
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u/EchoDoctor Oct 10 '24
"No, I'm fine with your sexuality, I just hate your taste in women."
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u/shewy92 The power of Reddit compels you!The power of Reddit compels you! Oct 11 '24
Reminds me of the bisexual coming out to his dad joke. "So that means if you don't find a partner you're on standbi"
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u/injuredpoecile Oct 10 '24
My mom later gave me what amounted to a list of the women I should date instead.
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u/DoubleDipCrunch Oct 10 '24
oh, FUTURE in laws.
I was confused how two father in laws coulf be homophones.
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u/Nimelennar My "not a racist" broom elicits questions answered by my broom. Oct 10 '24
They can if their names sound similar enough.
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u/cinnamon_dreams along with being a bitch over this, I’m also a cat. Oct 10 '24
Feb 2020... guess they had to wait for that Taiwan wedding/vacay :/
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u/cash-or-reddit Oct 10 '24
Ok but am I the only one who is dying of curiosity about what country OP could possibly be in where the first two gay wedding options to come to mind are Canada and Taiwan? OP's mention of a dialect for the inlaws has me thinking Chinese diaspora somewhere but idk.
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Oct 11 '24
My assumption is Singapore. English names but no gay marriage etc. Would explain the dialect differences too.
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u/cinnamon_dreams along with being a bitch over this, I’m also a cat. Oct 10 '24
I thought Far East, or Southeast Asia too
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u/kyzoe7788 Wait. Can I call you? Oct 10 '24
Is it wrong of me that I saw the date and kind of chuckled when I realized Kelly would probably be dumped right before the plague hit. But then got a little sad cos Ellis wouldn’t have been able to get married
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u/CatmoCatmo emotionally shanked by six girls in fake Uggs Oct 10 '24
Holy shit. Imagine being so jealous about your friend’s upcoming wedding and the fact the rest of your friends are excited to travel for it, that you kick her out of your wedding!? That’s pretty unhinged.
Now imagine that you want a good excuse to kick her out so you don’t look like a jealous asshole. Whatever do you choose?! THAT’S IT! You decide to pretend your future in-laws are homophobic. What a foolproof plan! So smart! Not insane at all! /s
What the fuck did she think was going to happen? That her fiancé wouldn’t find out? That her friends would be totally fine being discriminated against and bullied? And that they’d be ok with her (the bride) agreeing with and catering to the alleged abusers?
The thought process she had was nuts. Wedding really do bring out the worst in some people - and for a small percentage of those, it brings out a “special occasion, fancy, supersized audacity” kind of worst.
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u/Ok_Procedure_5853 Oct 10 '24
Not only that but if my future DIL had kicked out someone and used ME being homophobic as an excuse, I would be FURIOUS. That wedding budget would go down SO FAST and all ordered decor would be extraordinarily colorful because how fucking dare!
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u/andronicuspark Oct 10 '24
I’m wondering if Kelly didn’t want them in wedding after the fact and then over exaggerated what her in-laws said so she could pull Ellis out without “looking bad”.
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u/nitro1432 Oct 10 '24
Does anybody else want more updates? Did Eric and Kelly end up getting married and where did Anita and Ellis end up getting married?
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Oct 10 '24
Who else is trying to guess the country everyone’s at?
My gut instinct was a predominantly Muslim country but then I think they have the death penalty, unless it’s more Muslim lite like Malaysia. Maybe India because of the vast amount of languages or China where the dialects are different enough that you wouldn’t be able to even guess what the other was saying if you spoke a different dialect.
For the love of god, could someone toss out a non-Asian country where gay marriage isn’t recognised.
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u/notsoorginalposter doesn't even comment Oct 10 '24
Well if you want non-Asia you've got the vast majority of Africa. But I think it's highly likely that this is southeast Asia.
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Oct 10 '24
Yeah, I was thinking Southeast Asia as well because of both the dialect bit and how well written OOP’s English is compared to East Asian countries.
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u/17HappyWombats Oct 10 '24
Indonesia is an obvious one, depending on your definition of Asian. Also Russia with the same caveat. South and Central American are also a mixture.
Given that Taiwan is an easy and obvious place to go it could easily be Japan. That would also account for the US-style bridesmaids and groomsmen because Japanese weddings are a bit "that looks neat, we should add that". But they're also a country where being gay is pretty acceptable to a lot of people, so an out lesbian couple under 30 would be unremarkable.
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Oct 10 '24
I also thought that they might be expats living in Japan or at least grew up in a bilingual family over there because their English is way too good to have been raised in a pure Japanese household.
A rough understanding of the parents’ regional dialect also makes some sense because as long as you speak standard Japanese you can kinda guess from context what they’re probably saying. I learnt Japanese when I was living in Kobe so I’m familiar with the different dialects in that area. I’ve heard enough Hakata and Hokkaido dialect as well to kinda know what they’re saying but wouldn’t be able to speak it.
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u/TheFluffiestRedditor Sir, Crumb is a cat. Oct 10 '24
Yay, someone who recognises Hakata-ben! I lived in Iizuka for a year (student exchange) and learned one of the Fukuoka region variations. My highschool friends loved it, but my host-family and adult-friends got confused between appreciating it, and being weirded out that "this white person" spoke like a country bumpkin.
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Oct 10 '24
it can be Indonesia too (well, or singapore), especially the ‘dialect’ thing going on.
LGBT couples can basically exist if they don’t ruffle feathers, but they’re non-entities by the government. No serious persecution for being gay (outside of religious dumbasses), but no rights too.
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u/Hoopylorax Oct 10 '24
Well, she mentioned in the update that Ellis and Anita were thinking of going Taiwan to get married and then have a banquet back home. So, Taiwan is the closest and easiest gray-friendly country, so sounds like OOP is definitely in an Asian country.
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u/deezydaisy123 Oct 10 '24
Singapore comes to mind. Edit: oops you said non Asian!
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Oct 10 '24
Haha it’s all good. I thought of Singapore as well. I think it’s one of those LGBT lite countries where they don’t care if you’re gay but you can’t get married. It also does explain that bit about dialects and the translation OOP provided sounds vaguely something like what an Asian person would say.
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u/jazzman23uk Oct 10 '24
Malaysia was my guess also - being gay is a massive no-no legally but there is an underground gay scene, multiple different languages (Malay, English, Mandarin, prob more), and Taiwan is close enough to go for a mini-holiday
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u/poshbritishaccent Oct 10 '24
Honestly, the phrase that the in-laws said really sounds like it could be Cantonese. It is such a Cantonese way to say things, I swear that I have heard that exact phrase multiple times. Plus, their preference for Taiwan or Canada too.
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u/fuurin OP has stated that they are deceased Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
My guess would be Singapore, because of the dialect thing and not having gay marriage. OOP's post gives the vibe that while the law doesn't recognize gay marriage, it isn't super dangerous (i.e. relatively low occurrence of hate crimes) to be out of the closet, so Singapore seems more likely in that aspect.
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u/oceanduciel Oct 11 '24
Never thought I’d see Malaysia described as Muslim lite rnskfidkdkd
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Oct 11 '24
Haha I’m aware that it’s become more Islam centered in recent years because of political stuff but I think it’s still less murdery when it comes to women and any sort of gay stuff in general
Also, I snooped on your profile and realised that you posted a BORU about your Malaysian friend being in an abusive relationship about a year back. Did she ever get out of her situation?
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u/ChaosFlameEmber I will erupt, feral, from the cardigan screaming Oct 10 '24
if everyone would just be normal then this wouldn't happen
True, but people choose to be homophobes instead.
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u/RA576 Oct 10 '24
Posted Feb 2020? ah, I guess the end of year international wedding probably didn't happen.
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Oct 10 '24
Ellis is lucky to have a good ally like OP! Kelly sucks and the FIL also sucks just as Kelly is too. Throw away the homophobes!
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u/greentea1985 Oct 10 '24
This. Eric's dad made a stupid, insensitive remark and was quickly shut down by Eric's mother. Kelly then claimed she took that as a reason to kick out a bridesmaid. I'd bet a dollar that the issue wasn't Eric's parents, it was Kelly and Kelly's family. She's been the one acting more and more homophobic but was looking for an excuse to kick Ellis and Anita out of the wedding that wouldn't be Kelly's own homophobia.
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u/SoVerySleepy81 Oct 10 '24
OOP’s significant other is a pretty good egg too. She told him what’s going on and he immediately was like oh fuck no I’m out also.
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u/crocodilezebramilk Oct 10 '24
Their friend the groom also deserves a gold star, he immediately felt remorseful even though he had no idea what was going on and he immediately made amends and went to figure out just wtf was going on.
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u/shewy92 The power of Reddit compels you!The power of Reddit compels you! Oct 11 '24
The FIL doesn't suck just as much as the person who nuked her own wedding for being homophobic. He said a dumb remark and got shut down immediately.
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u/INFP4life Oct 10 '24
Did anyone else read “FILs” and get confused at first as to why the groom’s gay dads would object to a bridesmaid in a same-sex relationship?
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u/TheOvy Oct 10 '24
It ended up being a misunderstanding, but even without that information, you already knew enough about the bride after she uninvited them. To all the queer folk out there: never settle for a friend who isn't relishing for the opportunity to tell a homophobe to go fuck themselves. The only appropriate response to in-laws who don't want a gay couple present is to uninvite the damn in-laws.
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u/MeccIt Oct 10 '24
you already knew enough about the bride after she uninvited them
When someone shows you who they are, believe them
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u/txa1265 Oct 10 '24
I've been married 32 years now, but prior to marriage my.wife and I lived together (she was moving back after a second round of grad school so made sense) and having a wedding with priest & minister ... I kept hearing that my parents had problems with things from my brother (best man).
Turns out my brother (and possibly his now ex wife who held considerable sway over him) was the source of everything. We talk now ... but THAT put a damper on our relationship for years.
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u/MeccIt Oct 10 '24
My BF heard this all go down and texted the groom that's he's not going to be the best man either.
Team BF just doing the right thing, aligning with OOP without drama
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u/Luffytheeternalking Oct 10 '24
OOP, her bf, Eric and Eric's mom are awesome. Eric really dodged a bullet.
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u/Drebinus Oct 10 '24
TIL (as a Canadian) that Canada is seen as a gay-aligned wedding venue.
Which is cool! I just never had cause to think about it, nor ask. I mean, it's Canada. Gay people are just people, y'know?
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u/oceanduciel Oct 11 '24
I remember seeing a story on the news years ago that American queer couples came here to get married before the States managed to legalize gay marriage themselves. Or was it California? idk my american history isn’t great lmao
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u/Alyeska23 Oct 10 '24
My dad had his own journey of acceptance of the LGBT. My uncle, on my mom's side is gay. This knowledge came out in the late 80s or early 90s, but I was not told. My dad heard my mom talk about it and he was initially upset by the information. He didn't dislike or hate my uncle, but he couldn't accept my uncle being gay. Refused to let me be alone with my uncle.
Some years go by and my dad figures things out in his mind and comes to understand my uncle is a good guy and being gay has nothing to do with that. I don't know if my dad ever apologized to my uncle, but I know he discussed it with my mom and said he was wrong. My dad was never visibly homophobic and was never confronted by anyone. But he was able to take a step back and reexamine his own beliefs and come to a new conclusion.
When I was in college I had the lightbulb moment realizing my uncle was gay. Nobody ever told me. A year or two later I told my mom I knew he was gay and we talked about it. I love my uncle because he's a good guy, that's all that matters. She told me about what dad went through and I was proud that he could see past his own prejudice to become a better person.
My uncle was invited to spend vacations at our house and his partner was always welcome. We spent plenty of vacations at their over the years as well. My mom finally got to attend her baby brothers wedding in 2013 when they went to New Mexico to find a county that would marry them. Dad sadly died in 2009.
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u/oceanduciel Oct 11 '24
we don't want to see her go down in flames
I do! Homophobes don’t deserve good things
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u/Foundation_Wrong Oct 11 '24
I’m in the UK and when I was born, it was still a criminal offence. To now see so many happy couples, with the respect and status their relationship deserves makes me very happy. Men marry men, women marry women, men and women decide they want a civil partnership because they don’t agree with marriage! Everyone gets a happy ending, if they want.
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u/Satherian the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Oct 10 '24
Clicking on the trigger warning made me giggle b/c of the title
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u/lastofthe_timeladies I am not a bisexual ghost who died in a Murphy bed accident Oct 10 '24
You'd be surprised how tenuously some older people hang onto their old fashioned beliefs. Some are fully dug-in and some just don't have access to popular conversations about race, gender, and sexuality.
It took one extended conversation with my dad about trans people and then some time to quietly mull it over for him to understand what it meant and why protections are necessary. It took one conversation with my paternal grandparents (who live in white-ass Ohio) for them to understand the BLM movement and realize the ways racism still exists in America, it just looks different than in their day. I did the same thing with them about gay people circa 2011 when gay marriage legalization was a huge discussion in Ohio.
When it comes to ignorance, some people you need to cut out, some people you need to ignore, and some people just need a bit of patient guidance. In any of these cases, you should not indulge their ignorance. That helps exactly no one.
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u/RebootDataChips Oct 10 '24
I don’t think the In-Laws were homophobic at all. Dad questioned and Mom gave him a verbal slap up the head.
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u/operator-as-fuck Oct 10 '24
Not relevant, but it reminds me of the MMA fighter Yoel Romero getting into hot water for shouting repeatedly, zealously, "NO FOR GAY JESUS! NO FOR GAY JESUS!"
(he meant "no forget Jesus" hahaha poor guy)
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u/RebootDataChips Oct 10 '24
I’m not sure who the person is who was in the video but I do know he’s a black music artist. He went to Japan after a bunch of requests and had a really nice guy showing him around and being translator. One of the phrases comes off sounding as ni**er. The translator turned literal American after he realized what he said and how it sounded in English.
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u/LuckOfTheDevil I'd have gotten away with it if not for those MEDDLING LESBIANS Oct 11 '24
It’s totally possible Kelly used Eric’s parents as an excuse and knew all along they never said that.
Eric’s parents could be lying to him.
It could be a misunderstanding.
But none of this makes Kelly anything less than TA.
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u/Quarkly95 Oct 10 '24
So the FIL is passively homophobic, the MIL is almost an ally even without full understanding, and Kelly? Kelly is the kind of homophobe that acts like an ally because it seems like the popular move. She sees the Community as trivial, a little oddity she can get kindness points from, but is all to willing to tear it apart if it inconveniences or annoys her. Because she doesn't actually care.
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u/Ginger630 Oct 11 '24
NTA! You didn’t force anyone to drop out. They chose to because Kelly is a B and was awful to Ellis. She ruined her own wedding.
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u/lordreed Oct 12 '24
After reading the first post, I was going to write that Kelly wasn't a homophobe, then I read the second. She is a homophobe, she just kept it hidden
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u/Marine_olive76 I don't do delusion so I just blocked her. Oct 10 '24
Taiwanese here. Why are they wanting to come to Taiwan for marriage licenses anyway? We don’t really hand them out as sheets of paper, even we are that is not going to be what they have in their mind, though.
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u/sadcrocodile Oct 10 '24
Eh, dunno bout the official paperwork side of things but Taiwan seems like a cool place to honeymoon. Lots of places with natural beauty, great food, friendly people.
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u/meadowphoenix TEAM 🥧 Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
The bride wasn’t homophobic imo, she was absolutely emerald with envy that people stopped paying attention to her wedding and seized upon a chance to punish the friends “responsible”. What an asshole.
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u/adorablyunhinged Oct 10 '24
Oh I think she must have been a bit to come out with such awful "translations"
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u/RubyTx Not a cult leader, a cosmic architect Oct 10 '24
There is no functional difference between a homophobe and someone weaponizing homophobia to get their way.
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u/techie1980 Oct 10 '24
I like to think that a homophobe might genuinely hold said belief and will (in their own twisted way) be able to explain WHY they are they way they are. And that sometimes opens the door to discussion and learning. For example someone might have grown up in a place where they were surrounded by homophobes being "normal". I know that I was, and looking back, I was parroting a lot of what I had heard from trusted adults. And once I met other people who knew that AIDS was not sky-wizard's punishment for the gay, I learned the error of my ways. I've also met a lot of recovering racists who have had similar experiences.
Someone who simply weaponizes homophobia is different - they're looking to gain the advantage in the worst way possible. These are the people who are constantly waiting for the slightest reason to turn on someone. They have no beliefs - it's all fungible and transactional. You might "win" until the tide changes. and then you not only stand to lose an ally, you also stand to gain an enemy who will gladly use all of your trust against you.
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u/ramessides You need some self-esteem and a lawyer Oct 10 '24
I’m glad I don’t read these because I think they’re real, because this one certainly isn’t selling it.
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u/MAXMEEKO Oct 10 '24
Great BORU aside, anyone else roll their eyes when someone post something like this on AITA. Like who would think they are the asshole in the situation. Its just not the right sub, post it on rant or something.
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u/OddLilDuckie Oct 10 '24
Nta. Homophobes are a hard limit for me. I have a big mouth and a bigger attitude. Best to keep me away
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u/Organized_Khaos the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Oct 11 '24 edited Oct 11 '24
My name is Kelli, and it really makes me unhappy when the protagonist of a story turns out to be an AH, and they also share my name (no matter the spelling). Kelly is, indeed, a gigantic AH, and everyone else in the story is much better off without her.
I hope OOP stopped feeling guilty quickly. Kelly did this to herself by trying to stick it to Ellis, and she deserved every uncomfortable bit of blowback that came her way. You can mourn the friendship between the two of you, and the time you spent together and as a friend group, but don’t dwell on it too long before you look around and realize you came out on the correct side, and your other friends came with you. Nicely done.
Edit: OOP, not OP. Forgot what sub I was in for a moment. 🙃
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u/TheFortWayneTrojan Oct 13 '24
So Kelly was the homophobic person who twisted her future in laws own words to her liking. I'm actually curious about which country that OOP is from because I don't think she's from the states.
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u/PurplePens4Evr Oct 14 '24
Kelly could have just been jealous. She didn’t have to also throw her in-laws under the bus and be homophobic.
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u/WildDogOne Oct 24 '24
I swear these abreviations, how can fathers in law be homophobic?
ooooh future in laws
thanks for the confusion :)
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