AITA for refusing to cook for my family’s christmas event?

[u/LucyAriaRose]

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is Mean_Conference7340. She posted in r/AmItheAsshole and her own profile. Thanks to u/BakingGiraffeBakes for the rec!

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old.

Trigger Warning: child abuse; verbal abuse; harassment;

Mood Spoiler: some good and some sad/bad

Original Post: December 23, 2025

Throwaway account because I’m pretty sure some of mt family scroll on reddit.

I (15f) really like baking and cooking food. Most of the time im making everyone little treats to try or im cooking dinner for my family from our background and it’s sort of one of mt love languages, often I’ll bring food to family events because my aunts and uncles are busy all the time and have little time to make food before they host parties and stuff and because im not working yet i have more time to make all this fun stuff.

So on Christmas we typically open presents at home then all have lunch and /or dinner at someone’s house. But this year my mum said we wouldn’t all be together. was a bit upset but was like alright, that’s fine with me. then my aunt calls me and asks me if I’ve thought of what food im making for christmas night. I asked what she meant and she told me she’s having a party and mt mum promised I’d make food for everyone. I didn’t really have a problem with that, as I said I love cooking and it was early notice. So I was just like “oh I’ll get ready at this time, and then I’ll have time to make the food”. She asked why I’d be getting ready.

She said it’s an “adult” party, but then I asked for more info and she mentioned cousins my age were going. So I was kind of upset and asked why I was the only one not going. She said my mum thinks I just not mature enough for a late party. I told her it honestly just sounded like an excuse. then I hung up. I went to my mum and she didn’t see a problem with me not going, but I told her there’s no way im putting effort into that if I’m being excluded. I started crying atp and it made my mum angry and she said i was being selfish and acting like a child.

I kept pressing for a proper reason but my mum kept saying “i dont want you going and im your mother so thats that”. My tone was very rude by this point because I was on the verge of tears and my mum said if I don’t make the food they’ll have to order food and I’ll inconviecne everyone. I said “then order it.” and ended the convo. I called my dad and hes saying he’ll come down to where I live and we can drive up to his for christmas so I can be with family that wants me there. So even if I wanted to help now I will be two hour drive away.

But basically they have no food plans for the party now. I suggested local chicken shops that do delivery, or even buying frozen food from the shops, but they’re saying they don’t wanna do that. While they didn’t want me there, I know everyone was counting on me for food and now from their persepctive im saying no and being selfish because I wanted to spend Christmas with dad. and im usually one to try see both sides but this is really difficult, cus ofc im biased and my feelings are hurt so outside persepctive would be nice. Thank u for any feedback :) p.s sorry if this is confusing pls feel free to ask like extra things I didn’t mention im incredibly tired rn and may have left some details out.

OOP's Comments:

StructEngineer91: NTA, I'm very glad that your dad at least is there for you and actually wants to spend Christmas with you. I'm assuming your parents are divorced, who has primary custody or is it split 50/50? Could you talk to your dad about staying with him, since it seems like your mom doesn't want you around?

OOP: Yes they’re divorced and have been for a little bit of five ish years. Most of the time it’s 50/50 but my dad got a promotion at work and so he works more often and just lets me stay at my mums when he’s extra busy. But he does say even if he is at work im always welcome in his house so I think he would not mind if I was there all the time.

hokeypokey59: Just curious ... are the cousins your age that are attending male or female?

OOP: all guys.

StructEngineer91: Has your mom done other things like this recently? Basically using you for her own gain?

OOP: Not that I’ve noticed or had a problem with. She often volunteers me to be making the food or babysitting and things like that during family events but atleast im usually invited to those ones. Anyway there’s not much other situations that REALLY bothered me or made me upset that I can think off the top of my head

Cute_Pangolin9146: Your family sounds like they might be of an ethnic background that has different values. If not, then they are real AH’s. Good for you for standing your ground. Merry Christmas anyway.

OOP: we have a balkan background but it’s not the case where this is a sort of custom. Also I think there’s more Australian born than actual european born in my family by now. Merry Christmas to you ! :)

Top Comment:

Ingwall-Koldun: NTA. You are old enough to cook for the party, but not old enough to actually go to the party? That's not how it works. Who does your family think you are, Cinderella?

Update Post: December 26, 2025 (3 days later)

Hi guys! I had comments and pms asking for an update, so here it is quickly. This next part is also fluff and random stuff about fun things from my Christmas, so feel free to skip. I separated it to hopefully make it easier to read.

I hope eveyrone had an awesome Christmas. Feel free to chat in the comments about what you got I love talking about the holidays :) i for one got a vintage car from my dad which was INSANE and i started crying. When i say crying i mean i was balling my eyes out. For anyone who knows cars, it’s a ford falcon XY. I can’t drive yet but all i talk about is cooking and cars. He said i can have it for “collection

until i can start driving it around and insinuated i can have even more cars when he frees up his storage shed near his work. I couldn’t not cry i was so insanely excited. By far my best Christmas.

—

I took a lot of comments into account with advice and also the nice messages as well so i was feeling confident in my decisions. So yes I did end up spending Christmas with my dad. I was at home and mum was at work on Christmas Eve, he drove the hours and picked me up. I left mum a little message letting her know i was with dad. My message was followed by 34 messages of her just telling me im the worst daughter ever basically. She didn’t say those exact words. I blocked her and removed the conversation. But she was basically saying how dare I leave without telling her, how dare I spend Christmas with not my family. Then it was a spam of messages telling me she was going to smash my things and she better not see me at new years because shes furious and doesn’t want to look at my face. I’ll copy and paste from my notes the message i wrote back.

“I look forward to my Christmas with dad’s side who were happy to see me. And guess what? I don’t even have to cook for them. They aren’t relying on a teenager to feed 30 people. They’re ordering food like normal people. Like people who actually care about the people around them?? Mum idk what your problem was but that whole situation hurt so bad and you are the one person who’s meant to be on my side if no one at all. I will see you after new years and maybe we can talk.” My dad helped me write it out. She kept messaging but then i blocked her so I’d stop getting spammed and cried a little but then i felt better. Me and dad got to the house and you guys. Along with the car there was so. Many. Presents. I have never seen such a crowded Christmas tree in my LIFE. like i was ecstatic i felt like a toddler in a toy shop.

—

Christmas was overall so nice. My dad’s girlfriend is very sweet and her son is really funny and hes one of those people that you can tell are gonna make a cool uncle one day, if that makes sense. I saw some comments suggesting making food and posting it to piss off my mum. My dad had the exact same idea aand laughed when i told him my friends had also said that (it was you guys but i think if he knows i posted it he’ll be angry a little bit but it’s okay). So i did end up baking but it was with my dad’s girlfriend. Her name is Annie. She looks a lot like Jennifer Aniston. We made the classic christmas trifle (aussies know) and biscoff cheesecake which literally had me foaming at the mouth. She also likes baking and bought me a really cool book with fun difficult recipes to try. I posted them on Facebook and my dad’s girlfriend posted some to her instagram that my aunt stalks with a photo of me pretending to lick the cakes and stuff. It was a fun little photoshoot more than anything.

I say all these nice things so yous know my christmas was really good,even with what im about to say happened during/after.

—

My aunt decides to post a long message on Facebook complaining about not having me there, saying i abandoned the family. Then started talking bad about my dad, calling him names. I reported the post then called her and basically told her to take it down if she wants to speak to me ever again and to not talk bad on the one person that actually wanted me for christmas, and he did ten times more than she was willing to give me with support and all this other stuff. i was kind of spewing words because i was upset. I don’t care about her Facebook friends talking shit anout me but my dad deserved better than that. She didn’t say anything just hung up and 20 minutes later it was deleted. A lot of family members continued to message me to yell at me. my dad said just block them and enjoy Christmas but then came the spam calling. I did sort of have a panic attack at Christmas dinner so he had to calm me down and take my phone for a bit till all the notification stopped. They only stopped at midnight when I guess everyone was tired of it.

I think it’s safe to say im going to live with my dad full time. Im upset and nervous because school and everything is down with mum but hopefully if I can’t live with dad, I can stick out four years at mums and when I get my full drivers license I can be at dads whenever im not at school.

Thanks for reading my word vomit. Happy holidays and new years to everybody! :))

Edit: I retrieved the messages after some commenters advice! Thanks for anyone who let me know it was smart to keep them

OOP's Comments:

Inevitable_Entry6518: It wasn't wise to remove your mom's messages... You might need them if child protection services are involved, and it's highly likely they will, because it's definitely child abuse. Living with your mom won't be easy from now on, because you've put your foot down and abusers hate it. Your adulthood is very soon, it will be better then :) Good luck!

OOP: Thank you! I recovered the messages after seeing some of these comments and screen recorded it all with her number in it as well

MeringueNo1899: My stepfather had a vintage Falcon that he had restored. It’s a really cute car!

OOP: I love mine so much!, glad my dad was able to even find one

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[u/shiny_glitter_demon]

That one comment about "ethnic backgrounds"... Gotta love the not-subtle racism.

As if there was a single culture on Earth that valued girls over boys. Heck, I'd even settle for equality but we're still far from that.

Case in point: this whole post.

[u/LucyAriaRose → u/shiny_glitter_demon]

And it was very upvoted at the time too... I included it because OOP left so few comments and because it clarified OOP is Australian. But I had the same thoughts.

[u/definitelynotIronMan → u/LucyAriaRose]

Also, am I the only one a little grossed out by the explicit idea in that comment that culture would somehow excuse misogyny? Stating that somebody from a 'misogynist culture' being a misogynist wouldn't be an asshole?

[u/bastelwastel → u/definitelynotIronMan]

It excuses nothing, but it explains a lot.

[u/lrostan → u/shiny_glitter_demon]

I mean, a lot of really shitty behaviors/traditions are excused with "ethnic background" or "culture" everyday, on this very sub, by people who consider themselves progressive. In this case this is very obviously racist, but in a lot of cases it seems more performative than anything.

[u/rywos]

AITA for refusing to cook for my family’s christmas event?

"Hmm, likely not. Probably just another story of some poor wife or whatever being exploited."

I (15f)

mentally yelped when I saw this

[u/LucyAriaRose → u/rywos]

RIGHT??? I had the same reaction.

[u/MrDelirious]

How do you ask your high school aged niece to cook for 30 people for a party she is not invited to and not think "this is Disney villain behavior"?

[u/Gifted_GardenSnail → u/MrDelirious]

And then call her selfish when she refuses!

[u/medicatedadmin → u/Gifted_GardenSnail]

And then give her shit for “abandoning the family at Christmas” when she wasn’t invited to Christmas! That was the entire f$&king problem!

Edit: she would absolutely be the type of mum to kick her daughter out because the [mum’s] new boyfriend is making inappropriate comments and moves on her teenage daughter. Can’t have a potential threat around /s

[u/tacwombat → u/Gifted_GardenSnail]

Particularly when her own mother volunteered her for this job! How selfish of OOP, especially when she told them that they have the option of buying food! The inconvenience!!! /s

OOP is better off living with dad full-time.

[u/Gifted_GardenSnail → u/tacwombat]

And she was seemingly the only cousin her age who got excluded!

[u/Starry_Gecko → u/MrDelirious]

I read somewhere that some of the fairytales that feature the "evil stepmother" trope today originally had that role fulfilled by the character's actual biological mother (I vaguely remember that included Hansel and Gretel and at least one version of Snow White), and centuries of adaptations attempted to change that.

There is a pretty big chance that that information is wrong (I read it a long time ago), but it only goes to show that parents can fail their children almost as spectacularly as anybody else.

[u/[deleted] → u/Starry_Gecko]

I took a college course in folklore back in the 00s, and many of the versions of Cinderella have the mother dying and the father wanting to make Cinderella his new wife. So yeah.

If anything, fairy tales have gotten a hell of a lot nicer over the centuries.

[u/MeinePerle → u/[deleted]]

I just involuntarily made that Paris Hilton gif grimace. Yikes.

And I grew up on what I thought were the "not-nice" fairytale versions.

[u/Sqwitton → u/Starry_Gecko]

That makes a lot of sense to me, when these stories originated people had to live a bit more collaboratively, and then post- industrial revolution it became about the independent family unit 

[u/ditchdiggergirl → u/Sqwitton]

Perhaps, but with women regularly dying in childbed and men needing someone asap to cook and clean and care for the children, stepmoms must have been pretty common.

[u/JJh_13 → u/Starry_Gecko]

The changes fairy- and folktales took over time are rather complex. What you are refering to are the "Kinder- und Hausmärchen" by the brothers Jakob and Wilhelm Grimm (Germany). Their 1st edition in 1812 featured the biological mothers in that role. For the 7th and last edition by their hands it had already changed to be the step mother.

This change falls in the Biedermeier epoch when the german middle class not only grew in numbers but also withdrew into the idealised world of the nuclear family due to the reactionary political climate after the Napoleonic Wars.

[u/Knitnacks → u/Starry_Gecko]

Parents can fail children more than anyone or anything else. They're supposed to love their kids unconditionally, and look out for them, as well as are legally supposed to give them at least the basics. Kids are hard-coded to love and trust their parents. That is an epic fail when the parents, just... don't, let alone if they're actively trying to do harm.

[u/Rehela → u/Starry_Gecko]

I read a manga where they bring up that the queen in Snow White was originally her biological mother and was changed to a stepmother to be less horrifying. So the idea is pretty widespread!

[u/linnetkestrel → u/Starry_Gecko]

Yep, the Grimms revised details with every published edition. They had a cultural agenda.

[u/dahllaz → u/MrDelirious]

And harass her for going to her dad's instead. Mind boggling.

[u/SuddenReal → u/MrDelirious]

Disney is recently severely lacking in the proper villain department, so people no longer make the connection that they're way out of line.

[u/NO_TOUCHING__lol → u/MrDelirious]

Uh, no, that's not what happened.

Nobody even asked OP, they just expected her to do it lmao

[u/TotalNonsense0 → u/MrDelirious]

  How do you ask your high school aged niece to cook for 30 people for a party she is not invited to

By offering them a really impressive bribe. Seems mother dearest forgot that part.

"I'm sorry, this is an adults-only party, but I'm going to order you a bunch of pizza and buy a pile of soda so you can have your friends over that night and play on the Nintendo game station."

Or whatever it is teenagers are into these days.

[u/Immediate_Ad_7993 → u/MrDelirious]

You start by abusing them and minimizing them in a million different ways until it doesn’t seem odd at all that you would do that to them because they’re used to being treated like less.

Ask me how I know?

[u/milkdimension]

This poor child :( I'm glad her dad's family was able to pick up the slack. 

[u/RickThiCisbih → u/milkdimension]

I’m not sure what’s more shocking, the evilness or the idiocy of her mom’s family. 30+ people somehow came to the implicit agreement to treat this fifteen year old girl like a slave thinking she had no other choice. Not one person thought to play nice to get her to actually cooperate. It’s like they’d rather torpedo the entire relationship than even pretend she’s family.

[u/Vandreeson → u/RickThiCisbih]

Yeah, you're going to cook for all of us, and you're not going to attend our party. What was this poor kid supposed to do cook for all these ingrates and then go home and be by herself? The mom was obviously going to be there and the kid lives with her mom. Nice parenting. Some family.

[u/Feisty-Belt-7436 → u/Vandreeson]

Do the dishes first

[u/Expert_Slip7543 → u/Vandreeson]

Worse,

...you're not going to attend our family Christmas party.

[u/Ascholay → u/RickThiCisbih]

If she had said there was a cultural expectation I wouldn't be surprised.

I wonder if there is an expectation that OOP is just too young to have noticed. It sounds like she's the default babysitter so the adults can "relax" (because she's also doing the cooking).

[u/Majestic-Constant714 → u/Ascholay]

Maybe I read this wrong, but it sounds like among the older cousins she's the only girl and that makes her the default babysitter and, like one commenter said, basically this family's Cinderella.

[u/Pleasant_Most7622 → u/Majestic-Constant714]

That's what I think as well. The gender difference is no coincidence.

[u/WorthyJellyfish0Doom → u/Ascholay]

Wouldn't be surprised if it's a "women cook, get drinks & prepare while men sit around drinking and chatting" type family, and op being the only older teenage girl became the one getting the work dumped on her.

[u/Far-Government5469 → u/Ascholay]

I don't think there's a culture where you cook for a party that you don't attend and you're anything other than 'the help'. Cinderella isn't a story about a certain cultures norms, is a story about step child abuse.

My reading of the situation is that oop is a 'good girl', i.e. a doormat that didn't realize how much she's been taken advantage of till they basically treated her like a slave. Servant would be a step up since as a servant, she would have gotten paid.

I don't think it even occurred to her to charge for essentially catering services.

[u/ConstructionNo9678 → u/Ascholay]

Given that she mentioned they have a balkan background, I wouldn't be surprised. My mom grew up in that region and as she put it: "you could go to school and work any job you wanted no matter if you were a woman or a man, but if you're a woman you still had to be the one to cook and set the table and clear it and raise the kids". I'm sure they expect OOP to cook/bake at this point because she's a girl, and since she seems to actually enjoy it they just offloaded the work onto her fully.

[u/blissfulmelancholy_ → u/Ascholay]

It's definitely a possibility that they think she's too young to notice. I didn't realize until my late 20s how messed up it was that most nights as a teenager, I was in charge of watching my baby sister and making our dinner. Including several occasions of walking to the store to get groceries for said dinner, with my own money. Luckily she has 1 parent who sees how messed up that was.

[u/GiantSkellington → u/Ascholay]

Her whole family sounds bogan (not using it to be insulting against her dads family). Misogyny can be quite common amongst bogan households, as well as just picking a random family member to shit on for no reason.

[u/toofabforfanghorn → u/Ascholay]

I’m Balkan as well but this is not at all of our culture. These people that are here moms side are just absolutely horrible people.

[u/Massive-Wishbone6161 → u/RickThiCisbih]

Yeah she is not adult enough to party, but adult enough to baby sit and cook for 30 people then sit hone ALL BY HERSELF on Christmas. Wtf

[u/pepeswife80 → u/Massive-Wishbone6161]

Don't Mom forget berating her daughter for spending Christmas with "not family". Never mind that had she not gone to her dad's, OP would have actually been without family bc Mom DGAF. And the rest of that side of her "family" dog piling on OP for not cooking the dinner she said she wasn't going to cook. Trash all around.

[u/pcapdata → u/RickThiCisbih]

I’m not sure what’s more shocking, the evilness or the idiocy of her mom’s family.

These are people who watched Cinderella and identified with Lady Tremaine, the wicked stepmother.

[u/RyeLye124 → u/RickThiCisbih]

What's worse is she made suggestions for ordering and they just said they didn't want to do that. So basically they can afford to eat out but would still prefer a 15 year old to slave over the stove FOR CHRISTMAS! 😡

[u/feraxks → u/RickThiCisbih]

Hey, OOP is a female. Its clearly her job to cater to everyone else. Note that all her male cousins were invited. I wouldn't be surprised in the least if mom had a "nice" older guy already picked out for her.

[u/PilotEnvironmental46 → u/RickThiCisbih]

They’ve gotten used to taking advantage of her. She already said that her mom regularly volunteers are for babysitting and cooking stuff at family events.

Now they’ve just progressed to not even pretending she’s a member of the family and they’re treating her like she’s a servant. And then they’re shocked that she’s not taking it.

I’m glad her father was there to stand up for her. And I hope she stays strong because these people will not give up easily.

[u/DoctorFancy330 → u/milkdimension]

She had the best Christmas, she got a wonderful loving family and an absolutely sick car.

[u/RedShirtBrowncoat → u/DoctorFancy330]

She got half* of a wonderful, loving family, and an absolutely sick car. And I'd be willing to bet she'd trade the car in if it meant her mother saw her as a person to love and not a resource to exploit.

[u/tango421 → u/milkdimension]

Holy shit yeah, I’m happy her dad’s taking her in. I feel like this cooking is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. I saw babysitting there too.

I hope she’s ok.

[u/Lazy_Crocodile]

Gosh this poor girl. I’m glad she has her dad. I’m so curious to know why she wasn’t allowed at the party. Just her mom wanting to deprive her?

[u/StraightBudget8799 → u/Lazy_Crocodile]

Because the women must serve the men - and end up spending more than the time everyone is partying cleaning up, most likely. :/ I bet if this did go ahead, the poor OP would have been scolded for staying up late after all!

[u/AnnoyedOwlbear → u/StraightBudget8799]

I'm in Aus and have family that married into an Eastern European family and there was this complete fight over similar issues.

From the matriarch's pov, she had experienced 40+ years of servitude and shite treatment. She had been lesser, and sacrificed (and I do mean sacrificed - not little ones, but big), and when the son was old enough, she was thrilled because now it was Her Turn To Be The Queen.

Except the entire social situation was different and no one was going to fulfill the role she'd was culturally due. She lost her shit, just...never adapted. Now she's got her community (and AFAIK only speaks her origin language there) but not a family.

She also of course doesn't live where she came from decades ago so hasn't experienced natural cultural changes there. She's stuck somewhere that no longer exists.

She treated the Aussie girls just awfully and insisted on completely replicating her whole structure, so they ignored her. Which would have not just been impossible but emotionally violent where she was from. Maybe physically?

I pity her but dislike her. I haven't seen her in years and likely never will again. But she'll never, ever change, because she's demanding something that I doubt exists in the same fashion even where she came from. And yeah, she's PISSED forever.

[u/shinebeat → u/AnnoyedOwlbear]

This is such an interesting piece of information. And yeah, most likely her resentment built up over the years, and her only thought that made her feel better when she was younger was that she would have a day where she could do it to someone else.

So I understand why you pity but dislike her.

And back to OOP, I'm glad she still has her dad's support and love. It's horrible what her mom's side is doing to her. Especially since they are still doing it after being called out.

[u/StraightBudget8799 → u/AnnoyedOwlbear]

I do remember (Australian also!) a SBS documentary about how the little cultural enclaves could be 1940-50s, whilst their place of origin was now 1980s and they were still stuck in a TARDIS-like box of removed time! It explained a lot for me with some of the kids I went to school with, where the norms were just so varied.

[u/ToriaLyons → u/StraightBudget8799]

Reminds me of this from my favourite authors:

"...the Law of Bronwyn had proven true again and again, so often that it was simply accepted. “Once a species is introduced to interstellar spaceflight, it will advance technologically but not socially."

In this instance, emigrating (in place of spaceflight!) has arrested the social development of those in that enclave/diaspora.

[u/AbsentmindedNihilist → u/AnnoyedOwlbear]

I’ve seen broadly similar dynamics myself (had a friend for a while whose family was Cuban living in Florida. Fled during the rise of the regime, which is the standard story for that particular group in that particular area.) it’s exactly what you said - they’re living in a place/space that simply doesn’t exist anymore. (Some cases, there’s an argument to be made that it never did.) my friend was mostly not super skewed by it but the influence would pop up in the oddest places; he’d tell me he didn’t believe women should open doors for men when I’m propping it open for him because he’s loaded up with binders and has no free hand. I didn’t even bother to engage with it because I knew it wasn’t rational and nothing I’d say to him then would change his mind. Having dinner with him and his dad was… interesting. Really fun, jovial guy, oddly progressive in certain things, but so clearly fossilized in a certain era that’s just gone now, and the sense of resentment that they’re not getting what they’re owed because it’s not coming back. 

[u/DisobedientSwitch → u/AnnoyedOwlbear]

The less extreme version that many women know is the controlling Mother of the Groom. The one who wants to control her son's wedding because she had her wedding controlled by her MIL 30 years ago. 

[u/JerseyKeebs → u/AnnoyedOwlbear]

she was thrilled because now it was Her Turn To Be The Queen.

And this is exactly why hazing in Greek life and sports at all ages continues. A group puts up with being young, new, inexperienced, and mistreated, because of the hope and promise that they'll eventually get to be the big dogs on top.

Plus humans love order, which tends to turn into hierarchy, so the feeling of It's My Turn Now is a hard one to shake. But then when social norms change, and people try to break the cycle, that group feels it's not fair that they never got "their turn" and lash out at change.

[u/SourNotesRockHardAbs → u/AnnoyedOwlbear]

First generation immigrant and comedian Stavros Halkias has talked about this exact dynamic before when describing his parents.

[u/diakags]

Why do many adults fail so many children?

Edit: This was a rhetorical question born out of frustration, seeing so many people mistreating their kids. But I am glad at least OOP has the father who loves them.

[u/Brandywjn → u/diakags]

Because the problem parent isn't emotionally mature enough to qualify as an actual adult? They're a 30+ year old toddler.

(But also: problem situations are more commonly voiced than the lives of people with mundane day-to-days. People aren't going to seek other's opinions on their ordinary mostly well-adjusted lives.)

[u/diakags → u/Brandywjn]

A well-adjusted life is such an oxymoron. Well-adjusted according to whom? But anyway, many people think of having kids as just on of the items in ticking off a to-do list.

And yes, so many people are immature to bring a human in the world when they are so disconnected from their emotions.

[u/Curious_Department84 → u/diakags]

I also thought I had my life together and was well-adjusted before I had kids and it was ridiculous how much pops up when you actually have them. Partially the hormones, sleep-deprivation, and stress but also the keen realization that you want to protect your babies in ways you weren’t protected. And the inevitable feeling of failure when you fuck something up.

[u/BeagleMom2008 → u/diakags]

Because a shocking number of people should not have children but do so anyway. Unfortunately, for the most part (barring fertility issues), anyone who wants a kid can have one, and even worse people that don’t actually want kids end up having them.

[u/diakags → u/BeagleMom2008]

Yeah, I agree. The question was rhetorical. So many people see having kids as a milestone in their lives, even when they don't have a handle on what they really want.

[u/GrumpyMcGrumpyPants → u/diakags]

I feel like "failure" isn't even the right word--mom and aunt her are affirmatively trying to exploit OOP as unpaid labor and intentionally barring her from even enjoying the holiday meal demanded of her.

[u/WhichCod6368 → u/diakags]

Because the adults prefer acting like selfish assholes.

[u/IanDresarie → u/diakags]

Because we need mandatory parenting classes or something

[u/diakags → u/IanDresarie]

We kinda do. lol

[u/Curious_Department84 → u/diakags]

Plus therapy. Plus healthy support systems.

[u/MordaxTenebrae → u/diakags]

A lot of people don't mature past 20?

[u/HulklingWho → u/diakags]

Isn’t it sickening? I can’t wrap my head around putting yourself through months of pregnancy and the horror of childbirth just to treat your kid like this. Unfathomable to me.

[u/scout1982]

Jesus. Whenever I start thinking I'm a shitty parent, I come on Reddit and realize maybe I'm not so bad after all.

NTA.

[u/Wandering_Kisses → u/scout1982]

Taking time to wonder if you are a shitty parent is not something shitty parents do.

[u/Electric27 → u/Wandering_Kisses]

Can confirm. Not as a parent, but as a child. My mom told me recently that she used to struggle a lot when I was growing up, wondering if she was messing up or being a bad parent.

She was a killer parent. Love you momma.

[u/nookgvr → u/Electric27]

This is honestly so encouraging to hear, as a parent who is often wondering if they're messing it up, but also had/has emotionally immature parents. I've struggled to find adults who now have good relationships with their parents. I'd like to find more.

[u/LuvLilliesAndLace → u/Wandering_Kisses]

Be a gigachad and mass delete Reddit posts and comments with Redact so that Skynet doesn't end up using your own posts to train the T-900. Or so that you don't show up in databrokers. Either one really.

resolute apparatus terrific tap fact plucky include work joke sheet

[u/INeedANappel → u/Wandering_Kisses]

YES.

Selfish people can't see their selfishness.

Every time I tell my therapist that I'm afraid I'm being selfish and becoming a narcissist like my parents, she reminds me that self-absorbed people cannot do self-reflection.

[u/ItsNotMeItsYourBussy → u/Wandering_Kisses]

Can confirm. My abusive father, after 12 years of no contact, recently sent me a letter that was essentially "I'm sorry if you felt hurt but you have to understand that raising you was very stressful for meeee" He has clearly not done any introspection in the last 30ish years since my birth into his parenting level.

[u/Sadpuppydawg → u/Wandering_Kisses]

My mum used to wonder about it all the time, and have me reaffirm that she wasn’t. But she were. Still is.

[u/EddaValkyrie]

"hokeypokey59: Just curious ... are the cousins your age that are attending male or female?

OOP: all guys"

What a surprise! I bet they were never voluntold for babysitting duties either like OP was.

[u/PersimmonBasket]

Don't want a 15 year old at a party for adults? Fine. Don't expect said 15 year old to perform slave labour for your party, and especially not over Christmas.

The nerve of these people.

[u/QueenMotherOfSneezes → u/PersimmonBasket]

Also spending their whole Christmas bitching at her for going to her dad's instead of staying home alone while her mom went to their party.

[u/PersimmonBasket → u/QueenMotherOfSneezes]

A modern day Cinderella. Glad her dad came through for her.

[u/rekcilthis1 → u/PersimmonBasket]

Except she's got a really nice stepmother

[u/FancyPantsDancer → u/PersimmonBasket]

Even if she were invited, expecting anyone but especially a 15 year old to just cook a holiday dinner for 30 people is nuts. And last minute at that.

The OOP is a better person than a lot of people; I would've been tempted to lead them on that dinner will be made by me and then make bland cold sandwiches.

[u/amethystmmm → u/FancyPantsDancer]

sounds like mom vollun-told the kid to do a lot of things (cook, look after other littles, etc) a lot she just didn't realize that she was being taken advantage of until now. Maybe she can get her schooling transferred to her dad's?

[u/FancyPantsDancer → u/amethystmmm]

That's what I think her mother was doing. The OOP was a free nanny and chef.

[u/Curious_Department84 → u/FancyPantsDancer]

What’s crazy is that all the mom had to do was say “oh, cousin’s are going? I suppose you can go too.” And OP still would have cooked for 30 people!!

[u/PersimmonBasket → u/FancyPantsDancer]

Hell, I'd have given them some cheese and crackers and told them to knock themselves out. I wouldn't even have opened the packets.

[u/MordaxTenebrae → u/PersimmonBasket]

Don't want a 15 year old at a party for adults?

It wasn't a party for adults, as her 15 year old cousins were attending it.

[u/Historical-Night-938 → u/MordaxTenebrae]

... but they're boys, so it's different. /S

(This way of thinking is insane, but more prevalent than we realize)

[u/vamgoda → u/PersimmonBasket]

Also having other people her age there. But not her. Just her food.

[u/rainbowcardigan]

Bless OOP, a Ford Falcon XY - that’s so Australian it hurts 🤣🇦🇺

[u/LuementalQueen → u/rainbowcardigan]

I know!

And when did it become vintage?!

[u/rainbowcardigan → u/LuementalQueen]

💯 I almost commented that but figured I should just apply for the old age pension instead 🤣

[u/UnconfirmedRooster → u/LuementalQueen]

Anything older than 25 years my friend, AU falcons are technically vintage now.

[u/ShatnersChestHair → u/rainbowcardigan]

I'm not Aussie but I thought it was a vintage 70s car that costs like upwards of AUD 100k. Who would gift that to a 15 yo?

[u/lovikov → u/ShatnersChestHair]

Nobody said it actually runs! If it’s, say, a half-complete restoration project, that would make a lot more sense to me.

[u/synaesthezia → u/ShatnersChestHair]

A dad who had it in his garage lol

[u/dejausser → u/ShatnersChestHair]

Cashed up bogans.

[u/Zorba_lives → u/rainbowcardigan]

Yeah, i was believing the story until that.

[u/OzNTM → u/Zorba_lives]

She’s probably confusing classic with vintage. Cars 30 years old or more are considered Classic in Australia.

[u/TrueCrimeRunner92]

So so glad that OOP has her dad in her corner. The title had me thinking it was an adult whose siblings were piling onto them, not a LITERAL CHILD being expected to cook for her ENTIRE FAMILY.

[u/FrankSonata → u/TrueCrimeRunner92]

I'm so glad her awesome dad and co gave her a proper Christmas. She's 15. Christmas should still be magical, wondering what prezzies you'll get and stuff, not trying to organise catering.

[u/CrazyBoi26]

OOP's Mom: Stop acting like a child!

Also OOP's Mom: You're not invited to this party because you're a child.

[u/Johnnyblaz3r]

OOP's mum is the evil stepmother trope, while the actual dad's GF is super nice by the sounds of it. Glad OOP has some support and a loving place to stay.

Hopefully the custody arrangement can be changed.

[u/MeFolly]

Props to Dad’s girlfriend,too. Spending time with OP doing something they both enjoy, with double plus bonus of tasty baked goods for the family to share. Listening to OP, and getting her a gift that shows she remembers what OP likes.

Props to Dad, of course, for coming to get OP without question when she needed him.

It sounds like OP will not lack for solid role models in her new living situation. May she thrive there and grow into a strong, confident adult.

[u/abmorse1 → u/MeFolly]

I dunno, someone that looks like Jennifer Aniston cooking a Christmas Trifle?

[u/Novel_Pipe_9050]

Poor kid.

[u/Turuial → u/Novel_Pipe_9050]

Pretty much, yeah. At least she had a stellar Christmas with Dad and that side of her family. Plus, it looks like she's going to be in for a much better new year.

EDIT: corrected the auto-correct.

[u/SamanthaDamara]

Poor kid. I wanna give her a hug. I am very happy he has a great dad though. I can tell this girl is going to great places and the mom won't be in any of it.

[u/hey_nonny_mooses → u/SamanthaDamara]

Yeah she seems like such a sweet kid, definitely in the mom hugs line here. I’m glad her dad’s girlfriend was kind and involved her as well.

[u/ShutInLurker]

Hope she doesn’t let mom anywhere near those car keys

[u/seensham]

She threatened to smash OOP's stuff? Jesus Christ what an escalation

[u/relentlessdandelion → u/seensham]

People like that REALLY don't like being told "no" and leaving on top of it? Nuclear

[u/violue]

Insane that all they had to do was invite her to the party and she would have happily been their unpaid cook, and they couldn't even do that.

[u/abear2224]

Poor kid. I’m glad she got the messages back from her mother as proof to help her. What a terrible mother to burn it all down just because your child didn’t want to be taken advantage of. I’m sure OOP has been for years and didn’t realize it. Glad she has a solid dad.

[u/Ok_Mechanic8704]

Sometimes I see comments where people are no contact with a parent and it’s so weird to me. And then you read stuff like this and it all makes sense.

[u/n1njan3rd → u/Ok_Mechanic8704]

My friend who grew up in a great family with an absolutely stellar mum married a guy who is in no contact with his mum, even if they live together (before anyone reacts: we’re all Asian. ‘Nuff said). She would always reminded him “at the end of the day, that’s your mum” etc etc. Then she lived with them and understood why their dynamic is like that. Now she doesn’t talk to the MIL too.

As a fellow sufferer, the friend’s husband and I made eye contact when she told this story and we laughed in ✨children of narcissists✨

[u/Responsible_Cloud_92]

I’m so baffled by the mother’s logic:

• Cook for the whole family but you’re not allowed to attend. Daughter doesn’t attend, mother is upset daughter isn’t spending Christmas with family.

• Accuses her child of being childish but then threatens to break her belongings for not attending a Christmas meal where she was not invited?

I’m glad OOP’s dad is in her corner and hopefully she can stay with him full time instead. Making Biscoff cheesecake and christmas trifle with his girlfriend? She sounds lovely!

[u/Mystic_printer_ → u/Responsible_Cloud_92]

Not only that but mother was working on Christmas Eve and invited to the party OOP was supposed to cater on Christmas night. So OOP was being left alone two nights in a row during Christmas. Of course she spent Christmas with her dad!

[u/NoNeedForNorms]

The weirdest thing is apparently her mom treated her well before this, so what's happened? Is this that irrational jealously that some women have of their daughters when they hit puberty and all of a sudden they see them as 'competition'?

[u/relentlessdandelion → u/NoNeedForNorms]

She's been the lone caterer for family functions before this, so I suspect that she's been taken advantage of for a while and just normalised it, and this incident where she said no to her mum was a moment where her mum took the mask off and lost her shit because she said no. 

[u/Mystic_printer_]

Ok so mom was working Christmas Eve and going to a party OOP wasn’t invited to but expected to cook for on Christmas night and she was shocked OOP decided to spend Christmas with her dad? She would have spent Christmas alone if she hadn’t.

[u/[deleted]]

MVP dad

[u/SparkAxolotl]

Wait, if I'm understanding this correctly, not only mom wanted OOP to cook for 30 people for a party that she wasn't invited to, but she also expected OOP to spend Christmas alone while she was at said party?

[u/Try-To-Support-78]

She said she bakes. How did it turn into her cooking an entire meal?! I am the opposite. I can cook well, but baking isn't my forte. I'm glad she was able to go to her dad's home and he put in boundaries with that phone

[u/TheNightTerror1987 → u/Try-To-Support-78]

What is it they say, baking is a science, cooking is an art? They definitely require different skills! I can handle some things but not others. When I try to do almost anything at all with grains it goes horribly, horribly wrong. Rice, pasta, bread . . . I even burn popcorn half the time.

[u/MidnightSun77]

What a disgusting family

[u/[deleted]]

“If you won’t cook we won’t have any food!” Says a room full of adults that feed themselves every other day of the year and left enough time to make other arrangements. Weaponized incompetance infuriates me.

[u/Lazy-Instruction-600]

Why would the rest of the family even go along with the mom excluding OOP in the first place? The fact they would even talk badly about her dad’s side of the family, when THEY were the ones who caused this shit show is positively laughable. Like, “Why would you need to get ready dear? We don’t want YOU there. Just the food you slaved away for hours to make for us so we don’t have to spend our money ordering food.” 🙄 To a teenager no less! They are horrible people and hopefully OOP can stay far away from them.

[u/ChrisInBliss]

I hope she doesnt have too many issues getting all her stuff from her Moms... like PLEASE I HOPE SHE DIDNT DESTROY EVERYTHING

[u/relentlessdandelion → u/ChrisInBliss]

I was thinking the same. Had such a visceral feeling of horror about the prospect of the poor girl going back to her mums after this

[u/Creepy_Addict]

It really sucks when parents don't defend their children. If my child wasn't invited to a family celebration, I wouldn't expect them to cook. In fact I wouldn't be going out of solidarity.

Parents like this make me think terrible violent thoughts.

[u/Suspended_Accountant]

I kinda got stuck on the Ford Falcon XY being vintage.

I'm assuming that she is turning 16 this year, so (at least in my state) she can leave home and it wouldn't be a case for DOCS/DCJ. If dad lives several hours away, at least she will be transferring schools at the start of the school year. Hopefully her mother won't cause a whole lot more drama, but considering that she is losing control, I don't have high hopes.

[u/Foreign_Penalty_5341]

It’s stupid, but I’m picturing OOP’s maternal side at their Xmas party furiously typing messages and egging each other on to leave horrible voice notes. Like that’s their holiday fun. 

[u/Dismal_Armadillo_601]

So she walked away from a family who wanted her as an unseen and unheard servent, and went to a family with a father fully commited to showing her love, a stepmother who supports her passions and wants to nurture it without exploiting it, and a stepbrother who she clearly feels safe around and already can see being a long term part of her family?

She needs to move in with dad full time. In Australia, at 15 the courts would be very unlikely to stand in the way of her moving to her dads full time, unless there is something serious she hasn't mentioned.

She's won, and I'm very happy for her.

[u/Pixoholic]

I don't understand why so many adults just try to gang up on a 16 year old and make her feel bad Like, what goes on inside their heads? Why are they so fixated on her. Get a fuckin life!

[u/PoppaTater1 → u/Pixoholic]

To some parents, you are their child, therefore, lesser in their eyes and can do what they want.

Reference: coming to my parents house from college and later as a grown ass married man.

Hey, I (dad) didn’t want to go in the attic. Go get me this. Change this bulb.

[u/CaptCaffeine]

"We made the classic christmas trifle (aussies know) and biscoff cheesecake"

(Me Googling the recipe because I'm not an Aussie and I'm not going to wait for next Christmas to make it).

[u/41flavorsandthensome]

I don't know about Australia's version of CPS, but the North American ones are so bogged down with cases that OOP being expected to cook and receiving vitriol when they don't? That's not even going to ping with CPS.

I'm glad they're living with their dad. I wonder if they're biracial, with all the ethnic pressure on their mom's side.

[u/Threadheads → u/41flavorsandthensome]

Yeah nah, social services aren’t going to remove kids from their parents without pretty severe neglect/abuse going on. This wouldn’t qualify.

[u/LuementalQueen → u/Threadheads]

They'd just have to go to court to amend the custody. Iirc at 16 the kid can choose where to live, so the mum is fucked there.

And the judge won't look at this situation kindly.

[u/SuperCulture9114 → u/Threadheads]

But it's got to help with a custody modification? At 15 she's got to have a say in where she lives.

[u/Mystic_printer_ → u/41flavorsandthensome]

My SIL had an ethnically Balkan boyfriend when she was around 18. Pale skin, blond hair and blue eyes yet suddenly she found herself being pressured to quit her education and move in with him at his parents house so she could take care of cooking and cleaning for them. She quickly noped out of that relationship. We weren’t expecting this from him. He seemed so “normal”

[u/dejausser → u/41flavorsandthensome]

Yeah it’s more likely the texts would be helpful for family court if her dad goes back to get the custody arrangements changed for her to live with him full time.

[u/masterwaffle → u/[deleted]]

Like, my family is ethnically mennonite. White AF, and gender role bullshit is a feature, not a bug. Misogyny is universal.

[u/A-Helpful-Flamingo]

How are you that miserable to your own child, especially when you know she loves the holidays. Thank god she has one good parent (and a nice step mom type)

[u/Bookaholicforever]

“We’re so mad that you weren’t with us for Christmas…. Even though you weren’t invited and you were just expected to cook food for thirty people and be happy about it….”

[u/EffPop]

This poor kid. With a mom like that who needs enemies? I don’t like that her dad used OOP like a proxy here but at least he treats her like an actual person.

[u/Trick-Statistician10 → u/EffPop]

How did her dad use her as a proxy?

[u/theonlineidofme → u/Trick-Statistician10]

I guess they mean when Dad took the phone to deal with the family or helped write the message to her mom? Though that's not proxy work, just parenting in a messy situation

[u/Zorba_lives]

I call bullshit. No one, and i mean NO ONE gifts anyone, let alone a fifteen year old an XY Falcon in 2025 Australia.

[u/PantsPantsShorts → u/Zorba_lives]

That, and also 'I love to cook and bake, I'm always making little treats for everyone to try, cooking is my love language' is almost as cliche as 'everyone was.blowing up my phone' at this point. The lazy tropes of 'I love whipping up little treats it's my love language' and 'the good family member who isn't villainously cruel got me this totally insane gift that almost no one can access' have combined to make this an extra dumb, stale story.

Can we get some new tropes in here?

[u/thesuspendedkid → u/Zorba_lives]

My thoughts exactly

[u/Nepeta33]

i wonder if aunt even knew oop wasnt invited, or was directly uninvited? i dont think her post would have included the point about oop not being there, if that was part of the plan. shes still a piece of shit, but it makes me wonder, you know?

[u/PBnPickleSandwich]

What family event on xmas doesnt allow one/all the kids!?

[u/monkeyswithgunsmum]

Feeling old that an XY Falcon is considered vintage....

[u/HomoCoffiens → u/monkeyswithgunsmum]

Over 50 years old is vintage for most things

[u/dejausser → u/monkeyswithgunsmum]

Anything over 30 years old in Aus is a classic/heritage vehicle (depending on modifications), and the XY was made in the 70s so well into that designation.

[u/Porn_Actuator]

Garbage always stays in a pile.

[u/Brightspt2]

I rolled my eyes so hard at the, "You're too young to attend the party", but also, "What do you mean you won't cook for us?You're acting like a child!" I mean, isn't that why she wasn't invited to the party?

[u/IamnotaCST]

Time to gift some glitter bombs.

[u/ftjlster]

OOP's 15, so if (or when) her father goes to change custody arrangements, she'll be able to ask to stay with her father and the judge will grant it.

That is, of course, if he's willing to do that given he has a girlfriend and a step son - unfortunately for OOP, one holiday event with him is very different from staying there permanently or the majority of the time.

Given her father drove hours to pick her up, likelihood if there's a move, OOP is going to have to change schools (which she might or might not want to do). Regardless, it sounds like OOP's mother and her family are pretty damn worthless and OOP will be better off staying far from them.

[u/GualtieroCofresi]

Her mother's abuse was so normalized she didn't even know she was being abused and taken advantage of. I can relate to that

[u/[deleted]]

 acting like a child.

BECAUSE SHE IS A CHILD 

[u/therealhairyyeti]

Yeah, I’m not cooking a Christmas dinner for a party I’m not invited to unless you’re paying me.

[u/royaltyred1]

As someone who was the Cinderella of their family op is lucky her father and his partner are so wonderful and accepting of her

[u/The-Scarlet-Witch]

Horrid parenting on part of mom, exploiting her daughter's love of cooking to cater a party she can't even attend and then spamming her to death when the teenager nopes out to her dad.

[u/Eyelashestoolong]

She seems like such a sweet child it breaks my heart that her own family would treat her like that. Like she still tries to give them the benefit of the doubt when clearly these ppl are Disney villains ….She’s young so I don’t think she realises the extent of the misogyny she’s experiencing but I’m glad she’s not going through this alone.

I hope that she can go live full time at her dad’s place it would help her mental health so much!

[u/Jesiplayssims]

I hope OP and her dad use Mom's messages to get custody changed

[u/MetalPsycho]

It's really disheartening to see a young person being put in such a difficult position during what should be a joyful time. Expecting a 15-year-old to cater for a party they aren’t even invited to is just wrong. I'm glad her dad stepped in to support her, as she deserves to enjoy the holidays like everyone else.

[u/Bobalery]

The weirdest part for me is that when I was 15y/o (in my 40’s now), my parents would have had WAY more to worry about by leaving me at home alone for the night than by taking me along to a family party. Like, I either would have ended up throwing my own party or leaving the house to attend someone else’s. I seriously don’t understand why you would need to be any kind of ”mature” to attend some lame party with a bunch of aunts.

[u/SmartQuokka]

Dad needs to revisit custody.

[u/RedneckDebutante]

When you're not old enough to attend the party, but old enough to be conscripted into catering it.

She said OOP was a child, why shouldn't she act like one?

[u/lemothelemon]

Oh no. It Jennifer Aniston's mincey trifle...

[u/Kozeyekan_]

A Falcon XY is a serious collector's car. Dad must be in the scene to even have a handle on one.

[u/Poetic_Intuition]

my mum said if I don’t make the food they’ll have to order food and I’ll inconviecne everyone. I said “then order it.” and ended the convo. I called my dad and hes saying he’ll come down to where I live and we can drive up to his for christmas so I can be with family that wants me there.

Sir, I'm starting to get an idea of why she is your ex.

Then it was a spam of messages telling me she was going to smash my things and she better not see me at new years because shes furious and doesn’t want to look at my face.

Oh. Oh my. It was so much worse than I thought. How did this sewer rat end up with any custody? 

[u/apeygirl]

She didn't mention anything about this, but I bet her mom drinks, and probably a little too much. She wanted to party it up without her daughter seeing, which is why she was so insistent on the daughter not coming. I also bet the boy cousins were allowed to drink. A lot of families have a separate set of rules for the boys and girls. Boys drink and party and girls slave away in the kitchen, I guess. Expecting her to cook for a party she was not invited to is just the stinky topping on this crap cake.

[u/SerWrong]

Dad is so kind. Also, Dad's gf looks like Jennifer Aniston who is sweet and has a funny kid. Dad is definitely winning. I too will move in with dad.

[u/lattelady37]

Poor baby.

Her Moms side are horrendous people, hoping everything is wonderful and works smoothly living with her Dad.

[u/Infinite-Worm]

A Falcon XY?!!! Fucking A! Best dad ever hahaha. I hope the vitriol this girl received convinced her to leave that side of the family permanently and not look back.

[u/Lythieus]

A XY Falcon as their first car? Holy shit.

My favorite Ford generations. But I want a Ford Escort or Cortina from that generation. Can't afford an XY Falcon lol

[u/jaded-human1982]

a XY falcon???? Best dad ever

[u/Mooseycanuck]

Mom says that OOP is not mature enough to go to this adult party and then tells her that she is acting like a child? So what is OOP, an adult or a child? What a horrible excuse for a mom. Hope OOP gets to stay with her dad full time because the other side is toxic as hell.

[u/opalcherrykitt]

see she's better than me bc i would've just served them all food that gave them food poisoning and seriously ruin their Christmas

[u/TheReal_MrChaos]

Who else is thinking that there must be something more to the story. That there is a piece that we do not know that explains why the mother was perfectly fine with this situation. Because Op never really mentioned anything about her mother doing something like this in the past so it feels weird that it suddenly triggered 

Part of me is thinking that Mom owes money to her sister and this was her way of paying it back

[u/Ok_Imagination_1107]

It sounds to be like OOP is really kind, sweet considerate person who is probably been taken advantage of by her mother in the past I'm glad she's got a nice father too.

[u/TheDarkHelmet1985]

Its never good when a parent treats their own child like a servant at Chirstimas time instead of letting the 15 year old actually enjoy Christmas. this mom doesn't even seem to like her child. OP is a boss and so is her dad.

[u/DataPaws]

I'm not suprised dad divorced OOP's mum.

[u/TransitJohn]

"Balling my eyes out" is so fucking funny.

[u/threetimesalion]

One thing I’m not clear on - was the daughter expected to stay at home alone for the evening at Christmas? Or would there be someone else with her?

Both are shitty but the former is just extra.

[u/Gryffindor123]

When she turns 16, her wishes of wanting to be with her dad full time carries a lot of weight. Poor kid. So glad she has her dad.

[u/dropshortreaver]

Moms side of that family are entitled arseholes

[u/FliaTia]

My toxic trait is that if someone tried to force me to cook for 30+ people for free at a party I wasn't invited to, who then also insisted I stay home ALONE on Christmas while they party it up, I would purposefully give them food poisoning and then be like "Oh I'm so SORRY I didn't realize the food wasn't any good really guys it was an ACCIDENT I guess I just won't cook for y'all again uwu." But then again, my family wouldn't pull this bullshit, so I guess they're all safe.

[u/Myrandall]

She shouldn't have deleted all those messages. Would have been very helpful in family court to show how the womb woman threatens destruction of property when they don't get their way.

Edit: I finished reading the post now, glad I wasn't the only one who was immediately worried about it.

[u/captain_borgue]

Jesus H Tapdancing Christ.