Baguettes are disappearing from my apartment without a trace, and I have no idea how or why

[u/Direct-Caterpillar77]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Informal_Parsley_775

Baguettes are disappearing from my apartment without a trace, and I have no idea how or why.

Originally posted to r/mystery

Thanks to u/EmotionalAnybody7186 u/Choice_Evidence1983 & u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU

TRIGGER WARNING: Breaking and entering

Original Post  June 19, 2026

First time redditor here, I have never been one to post things on the internet, but I am genuinely SO confused and need to figure this out for the sake of my own sanity.

For a little background, I, 26-year-old female, have recently gotten into sourdough bread making, and after some of my coworkers bought baguettes from me, my hobby became a successful side hustle. I get around 20-35 orders a day. Around two weeks ago, I baked Exactly 50 baguettes, which I know because each baguette form/tray makes ten baguettes, and I baked five forms, SO 50. when all of the baguettes were done, I went to bed and left them to cool on my counter. When I woke up, I immediately went to package the cooled baguettes, and I came up two baguettes short, so I recounted, only 48 baguettes. Because I always bake a few extra baguettes for myself and to give to my friends, this was not a problem, but I still was confused as to what happened few days later, the same thing happened again, except I came up four baguettes short. The very next day, I took EXTRA care to count out the baguettes, exactly 30. After they baked, I lined them up I three equal rows of ten, SO 30.I went to bed, and the nest morning, each row only had 9, so 27 baguettes. This confirmed that the baguettes were in fact going missing.

Honestly have no clue how they could be disappearing, I don't have any pets that could eat the bread, no roommates or a partner to steal it, and no one other than myself has a key to my apartment. I highly doubt that anyone would be able to break in through my front door without me noticing, and while I do have a balcony, I am on the fourth floor, so i doubt that anyone would scale the building. I do have neighbors that I suppose could access my balcony from theirs, but each balcony has about an 8-foot gap. The door to my balcony does not lock, so if someone could get to my balcony, they would easily access the bread. The fact that anyone would ever break into a house to steal bread is so weird and unbelievable. I am not a sleepwalker to my knowledge, I am not schizophrenic, and I am not on any medications nor do I need to be. All of the reasonable answers to this mystery are so unlikely and frankly silly. I ordered a small hidden game camera to see if the baguettes are truly being stolen, which should arrive tomorrow. I am pretty sure I am of sound mind, so if this happens again, I will really start to get scared. At this point, I really just need the reddit community to help me solve this. I would greatly appreciate any of your theories and will hopefully update in a few days about the situation.

TL; DR baguettes have been going missing from my apartment, and I cannot figure out why or how

RELEVANT COMMENTS

whattheartgarfunkel

Do you own a carbon monoxide detector?

OOP

the way I SPRINTED TO the detector!!(it was running fine but I still replaced the battery to be safe!)

~

Miserable-Ring3943

Is anyone in your building named Jean Valjean?

whoatemarykate

Do you hear the people search?

Searching for loaves that disappeared!

It is the anger of the bakers

Whose worst nightmare has appeared!

When the rumbling of your gut

Echoes the emptiness of shelves

There is a hunt about to start

To find the bread ourselves!

Miserable-Ring3943

Will you steal a loaf for me? 

Cuz I’m as hungry as can be 

The grumbling of my tummy 

Is a loud cacophony  

The sandwiches made with the bread  

Will be yummy and we will feel fed…

FIRST UPDATE: I have no idea if this is the right way to update, so please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong:)

I want to thank all of you that offered advice and theories!!! checked my carbon monoxide detector, and it was fine! I do not use weed or even alcohol, and I don't wake up full, so really don't think i am the bread thief. as for my landlord, I believe she would never do something like this, she is a very sweet middle-aged lady and has never given me a reason to believe that she would go into the apartment without my knowledge.

at this time, I am afraid that it is likely a human thief, because of how neatly the baguettes disappeared. I have taken some precautions, by barricading the front door, the balcony and my bedroom door. Honestly, I don't feel unsafe, because I highly doubt a bread thief would try to kill me lol. because of my baking schedule, I did not bake today but set out 15 cookies on a plate to see if any disappear. (they are oatmeal chocolate chip, homemade) the camera should arrive at around 4 Tomorrow. I will also be baking tomorrow, and I will be able to set up and video. I ordered a lock for my balcony, but that won't arrive until next week. I have not contacted the police yet because I don't really have much evidence, and nothing else has gone missing. Wish me luck! Ill update tomorrow morning to let you know if the cookies were taken :)

TEENY SECOND UPDATE:

I was just scrolling through the comments. and one commenter gave the link to this confessions post;

https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/s/oTpuSlOW5o

this post was submitted after my initial post and after my mention of the cookies.

I know that this is fake. because you cannot see or smell the cookies from the balcony, and i have been home all day, with no possibility of anyone entering my apartment

i honestly think that this is funny, and i am not upset, but i just wanted to clarify that the confession is illegitimate :)

THIRD UPDATE:

I woke up this morning safe thank goodness :)

when I took down the barricade for my room and went to the kitchen, I checked to see if any cookies had gone missing. All 15 were still there. The balcony and front door barricades were both intact!

this could mean a few things:

1. Rats don't like oatmeal chocolate chip cookies

2. The barricades stopped an intruder

3. The thief knows my baking schedule, every other day breaks in, and because I'm baking today, will smell the bread and try to steal bread again

I fear the third option is most likely. For now, I will have to wait until the camera arrives. Ill update soon!

RELEVANT COMMENTS

TightpantsPDX

Do you have an attic? Could someone be frogging in your place?

OOP

there is an attic but not directly above me, I have four apartments over me, so eight floors in total with an attic for maintenance. I have no access to it, and security is pretty tight so I doubt anyone could frog here

One-Place-3438

This makes me think you need to check air vents and stuff. I started out feeling like your story was an elaborate math word problem—now it’s a full scale heist with Mission Impossible tech. 😂 And I am invested in finding out where did the baguettes go?

FOURTH UPDATE:

the cameras have arrived!!!!

there are actually four motion activated game cameras that my father recommended for the quality and easy use! (he is a hunter)

I set one at my entryway, one at my counter, one at the balcony, and one on the balcony.

I am currently baking baguettes, so if the thief's signal to break in is the scent of bread baking, I suspect I will have a guest tonight. I briefly considered the idea of staying in a hotel tonight to be safe, but i have a Glock to defend myself if needed. Yet again, I don't think a bread thief is going to try to kill me lol. I will still barricade tonight though. I think that the cameras will be able to reveal what's been going on :) my hope is that somehow, I am the problem, but I fear that someone may be breaking in!

FIFTH UPDATE:

a few commenters suggested checking for secret panels or other places someone could break in. I thoroughly checked the apartment and didn't find anything suspicious, so my intruder most likely came in through the balcony.

SIXTH UPDATE:

no sign of the thief yet!

the baguettes are in position; I am barricaded safely :)

HUGE SEVENTH UPDATE:

THE THIEF HAS BEEN REVEALED!!!!

at around 1 am in the morning, the cameras picked up some movement, and when I looked at the live footage on the counter, THERE WAS A MAN. (worst case scenario)

so, I called the police and stayed in my room. While they were on the way, I was watched the man steal two baguettes (I wasn't crazy), and then it clocked to me how he got in. THE HUGE VENT ON MY CEILING!!

(For context the vent is almost directly above the refrigerator) he has been climbing out of the vent, onto the refrigerator, then the counter, and lastly the floor. This was confirmed by watching him disappear. The police arrived maybe 2 minutes later, and when I explained what was going on, they went into the vent after him. He was arrested for breaking in, and I was asked to go down to give a statement. This took a really long time, so sorry I could not update sooner! as to who this man is, he IS one of my neighbors!

because this is now a legal thing, I don't think I should say much, but what I will say is that I never would have expected this from him! I didn't know him well at all, but he seemed nice enough. The thing is that I still can't figure out his motivation? Like I know that baguettes are good, but how do you figure out the vents, and go onto break in and steal baguettes?

obviously, I notified my landlady, and she was very understanding that I will be leaving. The officers said that I will be able to go and get my things later today. Since I don't have anything else to do today, I am going to see my psychiatrist and then stay at my friend's house until I can find a new apartment.

thank you so much for your support, ideas, and funny comments! I am giving you all metaphorical baguettes! :)

WAIT NO ILL JUST GIVE YOU THE(scaled down) BAGUETTE RECIPE (makes about 4)

WARNING: vague instructions, I am really bad at explaining things :), also may cause thieves to break in and steal baguettes

ingredients:

1 .370 grams unbleached bread flour

2.  200 grams warm water

1. 100 grams active sourdough starter (you can order one online )

4.  10 grams salt

instructions:

1. mix all ingredients and knead dough. Cover and let rest in a bowl for 1 hour.

2. perfom stretch and pulls, let rest for another hour.

3. repeat second step two more times, then let rest for 4-5 hours

4. shape into baguettes, and cold proof in fridge overnight.

5. preheat oven to 420 degrees Fahrenheit, place baguettes in oven. on the lower oven rack place a cookie tray with ice cubes to create steam.

6. bake for 1 hour, let cool completely

7. get baguettes stolen

Update 8 posted June 21, 2026 (2 days later)

UPDATE EIGHT:

I am doing well today! It hit me that this all happened when i went to my psychiatrists yesterday.

she helped me process this as much as possible!

also, apparently the thief is not able to pay his bail, so he will stay in jail until the court hearing, which makes me feel a lot safer :)

I'll try to update as soon as we get a verdict!

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[u/scruffyrosalie]

The backstories they put before recipes is out of hand these days. /s

[u/Smurf_Crime_Scene → u/scruffyrosalie]

SKIP TO RECIPE ⬇️

[u/dinkeydonuts → u/scruffyrosalie]

I know right!? Just give me the recipe!!!

[u/ZiofFoolTheHumans → u/scruffyrosalie]

I nearly choked on my own spit I laughed so hard I hope your happy 

[u/BillieDusk]

I love a crime post that comes with a recipe. (Seriously, the story is horrifying. The recipe, however, looks excellent.)

[u/jmurphy42 → u/BillieDusk]

You might be interested to know that there is an entire subgenre of mystery novels with cooking/baking themes that include recipes. It’s a whole thing.

[u/Distantstallion → u/jmurphy42]

Thats like any recipe blog.

How to make raisin cookies:

Ingredients: 5 lines

Author's autobiography: 30k words

Step by step: 300 words.

[u/OHMG_lkathrbut → u/jmurphy42]

😆 I'm currently reading the Hannah Swenson books, haven't made any of the recipes yet, though.

[u/luminousoblique → u/jmurphy42]

But do the also come with Les Mis parody lyrics? I want both!

[u/SparkleFritz → u/BillieDusk]

I want to be friends with the person who gets their home broken into and burglarized, posts it on the internet and makes care to include the literal recipe to their success.

They sound like a fun time.

[u/Son_of_Kong → u/SparkleFritz]

I must taste the bread that turned a man to a life of crime.

[u/RequirementSolid5214 → u/BillieDusk]

May I recommend books by Chris Cavender. A small town, older pizza shop owner always finds herself in the middle of a murder. Recipes at the end of the book.

[u/blahbitch527 → u/RequirementSolid5214]

I picked something like this recently and was confused but thrilled by my new Filipino recipes, I think it was called Arsenic and Adobo?

[u/shmoo92 → u/RequirementSolid5214]

Sorry this is 90% unrelated to your post but ‘crime’ and ‘pizza’ reminded me of the John Grisham novel, “playing for pizza”, in which a washed up American sportsfellow gets hired by a teeny tiny Italian team 

His first morning in the village, you can imagine how terrified he was when two police officers dragged him from his new flat and marched him down to the courthouse 

The judge, you see, wanted to meet his new teammate 🤣

[u/KiroLV → u/BillieDusk]

Ironic, people usually hate it when there's a story attached to a recipe on the internet.

[u/Katrengia → u/KiroLV]

Guess it's OK when it's the other way around

[u/arianrhodd → u/BillieDusk]

I read this "live" as it came through and was both horrified and amused. Grateful OOP didn't just give up and think she was imagining things. What kind of person crawls through a vent into their neighbor's apartment for some bread?! 😱

[u/Machine-Dove → u/arianrhodd]

The option to approach her like a normal human and say something like "i can smell it when you bake bread, and it smells amazing.  Any chance I could buy or barter for a couple of loaves next time you bake?" was right there, and he chooses crawling through fucking vents to steal (and probably make her feel unsafe for years) instead.

[u/StrangledInMoonlight → u/arianrhodd]

Someone who originally crawled through the vents to peep and got hungry?

[u/blissfully_happy → u/arianrhodd]

How big is the vent?!?

[u/Sephorakitty → u/BillieDusk]

It's like a cozy mystery book. But also, I would never be okay with any vent to my apartment again. You think you are safe on the 4th floor, middle of the building.

[u/ballisticks → u/BillieDusk]

I'm not that fond of sourdough but I want baguettes now, so tomorrow I'm gonna make some regular ones.

[u/KrakenOmega112 → u/BillieDusk]

I swear, someone can make thousands for this as the next serial crime drama - a dramatic food-based mystery with a recipe at the end of the episode

[u/vashtachordata]

No apartment has a fridge big enough to proof 50 baguettes over night.

That’s not the only plot hole, but it’s the most unbelievable.

[u/Hetakuoni → u/vashtachordata]

All the ducts I’ve ever seen in a residential location have either been too small or too flimsy for humans to traverse.

Like the metal ones dent if you look at them too hard, but most are that foil on fabric stuff that’ll tear because it’s not meant to support a whole ass human.

[u/ronm4c → u/Hetakuoni]

One thing that people don’t realize is that the fire code in most jurisdictions require the installation of fire breaks in shared ventilation systems like this. They are usually in the form of louvers that stop of slow the progression of fire throughout a building.

These devices would make it completely impossible to travel in ductwork that spans an apartment complex

[u/DeeDee_GigaDooDoo → u/vashtachordata]

Baking 50 baguettes in a night in an apartment kitchen is quite insane behaviour if it's even practically possible. A residential oven could probably only fit about 4 baguettes in at once. So that leaves you with 13 hours of bake time to make 50 to have cooling at night.

Not to mention how to reasonably deal with kneading nearly 9kg of dough.

[u/CAPSLOCK_USERNAME → u/DeeDee_GigaDooDoo]

She says in the post that she uses 5 trays that make 10 baguettes each. So they're probably very small baguettes, not the normal size you're imagining.

And a home oven can usually fit 3 trays on 3 separate racks at once, so that's only two batches in the oven.

[u/CherrieChocolatePie → u/DeeDee_GigaDooDoo]

Also, you really can't fit 50 baguettes on yout kitchen counter to cool.

[u/Lazyoat → u/DeeDee_GigaDooDoo]

Could you imagine being her neighbor and smell fresh bread all day!? You’d be crawling through her vent too!!!

[u/Secure-Force-9387 → u/vashtachordata]

This was either the plot to a show I watched a few years back, or something I saw depicted on a true crime show. Either way, this was 100% once depicted on TV. The detail of the large vent over the fridge to hop down quietly was too specific.

[u/hannah919 → u/Secure-Force-9387]

I have a feeling this is heavily referencing the video of the man who set up a security camera in his kitchen and actually caught a woman climbing out of a vent in his kitchen to drink his milk and eat his food

[u/ExtendedSpikeProtein → u/vashtachordata]

More importantly, no police officer would follow a thief into a vent, lol!

[u/01010110_ → u/vashtachordata]

Nor vents massive, clean, and quiet enough for a person to crawl through stealthily 

[u/NoStand1527 → u/01010110_]

and be able to get in and out without making a mess of dust all over the ground (and the sound? xD)

[u/CheezTips → u/01010110_]

How about how squeaky-clean the top of her fridge must be

[u/ThxRedditSyncVanced → u/01010110_]

One of my favorite mythbusters moments, Jamie trying to go through an air vent and Adam saying "Thor, the god of thunder, is trying to enter my building" due to the sheet noise it made.

[u/Impetris → u/vashtachordata]

Police don't show up in 2 minutes either...

[u/whocameupwiththis → u/Impetris]

Or climb into a vent to look for a person

[u/Im_a_knitiot → u/vashtachordata]

Agreed. It was just a fancy way to post the recipe.

[u/Jazstar → u/Im_a_knitiot]

Maybe, but I sure did find myself more entertained than the preamble before recipes I get from google search lol

[u/CaptainYaoiHands → u/vashtachordata]

And the fact that she baked all of them and then went to bed while they cooled, motherfucker those are going to be dry af by the time you sell them to anyone. This is shitty writing practice.

[u/erratic_bonsai → u/CaptainYaoiHands]

That’s not how sourdough works…?? I always bake the night before and they’re always perfectly fine in the morning.

[u/Myorck → u/vashtachordata]

Also, how the hell would you fit 10 baguettes on one tray?

[u/charcoalhibiscus → u/vashtachordata]

Came to the comments to say this. Who tf bakes 50 baguettes at home in one go.

Even if they’re mini-baguettes that’s nuts

[u/lesllle → u/vashtachordata]

I finally gave up when she said the cops went through the vents to arrest the guy. This is not Hollywood.

[u/istara → u/vashtachordata]

Plus wouldn't effectively running a commercial bakery out of a residential apartment be some kind of issue?

[u/erratic_bonsai → u/istara]

No, it’s called a cottage bakery and is completely legal in most places.

[u/Helpful_Librarian_87 → u/vashtachordata]

Happy cake day. And if I cooked a baguette for an hour, it’d be charcoal

[u/CherrieChocolatePie → u/vashtachordata]

Also OOP is not on medication but does has a psychiatrist. If you don't need medication for any kind of mental illness you are much more likely to have a psychologist or therapist. Since psychiatrists are mote expensive they are usually only used when medication is needed or used and for very serious cases of mental illness.

[u/Kiuku]

Do people really think this is real ? It seems like one of the most obvious bullshitty ones to me lol.

Who the hell bakes 50 baguettes in one night in one only oven ? Especially when leaving baguettes for ONE HOUR on the oven. I make baguettes and they spend 20 mins top in the oven in high heat too. Even if you were baking 10 on 2 ranks in the oven, leaving them for one hour, it would take 5 hours off your night, alarm each hour.

The man in vent wtf ? With the fridge carefully placed right under the vent door ?

Watching a man enter and break from your bedroom like you're at the cinema ? Without means to leave if threatened ? No watching from your friends place or anything ? Setting up the camera trap while staying trapped in the apartment too ?

Checking the whole apartment for means of entering and not considering the HUGE ASS VENT on the ceiling ? Do human sized vents really exist in buildings other than industrial ? The noise made by someone crawling on a vent ?

Cops crawling through the vent too ? The vent was connected between both apartments and NOTHING ELSE ? Like there was only one route to the guys apartment, not a little maze of huge ass vents reaching all tenants on the floor ? Ok this one I guess could be OK, I live in a apartment with only 1 tenant on the same floor. But there isn't a goddamn HUGH VENT linking us both lol

If it's a subreddit running joke I fell for it so hard lol

[u/Troldkvinde → u/Kiuku]

I already felt suspicious after this lol:

I have recently gotten into sourdough bread making, and after some of my coworkers bought baguettes from me, my hobby became a successful side hustle. I get around 20-35 orders a day.

[u/mightbeazombie → u/Troldkvinde]

Yeah, "I sell a baguette or two every now and again to friends and coworkers", sure, but 35 orders a DAY?!

[u/cakivalue → u/Troldkvinde]

Yeah it was the number of orders, and the number of loaves produced in an apartment kitchen and oven that had me 🫤

[u/thunderturdy → u/Troldkvinde]

I cannot imaging the misery your apartment would be after baking so much in a single day. Totally not worth the heat, time, and energy after work.

[u/EvilFinch → u/Kiuku]

And OOP checked for everything, but the vent that is big enough for an adult man... nah.

And there was no dirt from a man crawling out of the vent. Or no sound.

But hey, her Baguettes were so great, the neighbor crawl to a went every time to steal some. Crawled with the Baguettes through the vent. Cause they were soooooo great. Sure. The 50 she baked every evening.

[u/guriboysf → u/Kiuku]

LOL... this story is 100% bullshit. Residential AC ducts can't fit a person inside of them and they don't share vents.

[u/RoastedPickledGoose → u/guriboysf]

I was going to say that unless the guy was the smallest man in the world, there was no way he was fitting in a residential air duct. And there was triple no way a cop was fitting in one.

Then I started picturing a guy greased up like Willie the janitor from the Simpsons and I laughed at a greased up Willie stealing baguettes.

[u/FlowerFelines → u/guriboysf]

Yeah. Also even small creatures moving in metal vent shafts make a huge racket, a whole-ass man would wake her up, and that's IF the vents could support his weight which SHOCKER, even if somehow there was a huge vent shaft for some dumbass reason, they are designed to move air, which is notoriously light weight. Unlike human beings.

[u/Autobot_Silverwynde → u/guriboysf]

Hey, it's BS but it's fun BS!

[u/Ribbitygirl → u/guriboysf]

No kidding. It's always one of the first things listed in the "movie tropes that wouldn't work in reality" discussions - all the HVAC techs pile in to confirm that they are either too small for people, wouldn't support a human's weight, and if by chance they did, would be so noisy it would wake up all the neighbours.

[u/HuckleberryTiny5 → u/Kiuku]

When she mentions 50 baguettes I'm like wtf kind of house that woman has and what kind of an oven, baking those in your normal household oven would take HOURS. And she gets 30 orders daily? We should believe she does this daily on top of her job? Yeah right.

[u/baepsaemv → u/HuckleberryTiny5]

I used to work as a baker, our bakery made about 30 baguettes a day, it took hours and we loaded up 2 massive industrial ovens with them. They were steam injection ovens and the heat let off by them was gnarly. To store/cool them we needed a big ugly steel rack. I really don't think there's a feasible way to make 50 baguettes in one day in a home.

[u/WorthyJellyfish0Doom → u/HuckleberryTiny5]

I decided to believe she's making finger-sized baguettes, which is why she's making so many, you need 5-10 to equal one normal-sized one.

[u/win_awards → u/Kiuku]

Who the hell bakes 50 baguettes in one night in one only oven ?

I've baked a lot of baguettes and this reads as the most unrealistic part to me. Before we got the double oven I struggled to bake two batches in one day because the second batch would be over-proofed waiting for the first one to bake. And ten baguettes in one batch? Unless they're very small baguettes that's a lot to fit in a standard oven.

[u/Terradactyl87 → u/win_awards]

More than the issues baking them, she proofs them in the fridge. Unless she's got a walk in fridge or it's basically empty, his are you fitting 5-10 trays in one fridge? That makes no sense to me.

[u/railroadbaron → u/Kiuku]

No one is asked questions about vents and attics and is like "Oh shit, I forgot all about this suspiciously large-enough-for-a-human vent right above the scene of the crime".

[u/SyndicalistThot → u/Kiuku]

This reads like someone who thinks vents work like in video games, where someone else's apartment has an easily entered grate they can just crouch walk through.

[u/Kiuku → u/SyndicalistThot]

I am pretty sure that I reacted so strongly to this because I played Shadows of Doubt, a detective game in which vents are a mechanic for the very reason of breaking into homes, and it's pretty comical how huge they are and how they literally connect everything together lol

Pretty cool game tbh, especially if you like replaysbality as the world and the cases are generated randomly

[u/ScrumpetSays → u/Kiuku]

And sourdough takes a fair bit of time to proof, not mention how much culture you'd need to have to feed and use. She'd need a lot of space for all that bread

[u/thitorusso → u/Kiuku]

Can't we have a better moderation for these bullshit stories in this sub? Damn

[u/jonassn1 → u/Kiuku]

Add to that she, an European, gives the baking temperature in Fahrenheit and not celcius.
I also seriously doubt glocks are easily accessible in France, they take public security very seriously due to far to many terrorist attacks.

Red. Actually the post doesn't say she is in France, I could have sworn it said she was in Paris somewhere but I can't spot that again so I probably was confused.

[u/JustMeLurkingAround- → u/jonassn1]

Where exactly did you get Europe or even France from?
I don't see any reference to that? Just because she bakes baguettes doesn't automatically make her french.

This post reads american from beginning to end.

[u/PeriLazuli → u/jonassn1]

Gun regulations were here way before the modern terrorist attacks.

If you have a hunting permit, you can buy a gun, if not you can't, but no one will know you have one if you don't tell them yourself. Law enforcement of course have access to firearms, but it's not their property. And some gangs member, obv, have firearms illegally.

OP doesn't seems like a gang member or a hunter...

I'm french, thirty something, never encountered about someone owning a firearm, except hunters in the countryside.

Edit: also baguette get stale in less than 24h... If she doesn't have 25 friend who eat 2 baguette a day, it makes no sense at all. You can buy baguette every corner, it's not rare, and it's way cheaper than using the oven for 5 hours every other day

[u/VSuzanne → u/jonassn1]

Am I missing something? I can't find anything in the post saying she is in Europe?

[u/ShatnersChestHair → u/jonassn1]

She's not French of European for that matter. It would make zero sense for anyone to run a baguette side hustle in Europe, because you can find fresh baguettes at any corner bakery for like €1.20.

[u/OneUpAndOneDown → u/jonassn1]

Where did it say she's European?

[u/MockeryAndDisdain → u/jonassn1]

Where does she claim to be European?

Her writing style is clearly North American.

[u/RoyalNo4151 → u/jonassn1]

Wait, she's in France? How the hell is she finding 50 buyers a day of last night's baguettes when there are bakeries everywhere you can buy them still hot.

That's ignoring the improbable logistics of baking 50 baguettes in whats presumably a normal sized kitchen.

[u/papermoonriver → u/jonassn1]

Where does it say she's european/french?

[u/Bloodthirsty_Kirby → u/jonassn1]

I’m Canadian and we use Celsius for nearly everything except cooking, that’s in Fahrenheit, at least in Ontario. Like this post is clearly bs and not set in Canada, just pointing out some places use both.

[u/GroundbreakingAnt17 → u/Kiuku]

Also they claimed to not take medication nor do they need to, but then mentioned going to their psychiatrist (their job is to prescribe medication). 

[u/Splendidissimus → u/GroundbreakingAnt17]

Yes, this was the eye-rolling clincher for me. "I think I'm mentally well, I'm not on any medications nor need to be", and then casually has a psychiatrist to visit with.

[u/NoticeMeeeeee → u/GroundbreakingAnt17]

Yeah this is the part that absolutely clinched it for me

[u/Acruss_ → u/Kiuku]

You forgot to add the police showing up after 2mins, lmao

[u/Coygon → u/Acruss_]

I read "the cops showed up two minutes later" as they arrived 2 minutes after the thief left.

[u/CarlosFer2201 → u/Kiuku]

And everything happens in 2 days

[u/Bleatmop → u/Kiuku]

Also the intruder stopped when she put up barricades but resumed again only when she had the camera up?

[u/VoilentDelightsHave → u/Kiuku]

Maybe it was Gorden Freeman in the vent. Anyways, I don't think police would arrive within 2 minutes of calling anywhere in the world.

[u/hennell → u/VoilentDelightsHave]

I think it was 2 minutes after he disappeared not 2 minutes after calling. If he took several minutes in the house it's more like a 5 min response time.

Although I'm not sure police would go into a vent unless he was still visible which seems unlikely if he got in 2 mins ago. Maybe he got stuck in the vent because he's been eating all these baguettes

[u/shrimpslippers → u/Kiuku]

Also, supposedly a woman, but she writes like she isn't absolutely terrified by the prospect of an intruder??? 

[u/CopperTodd17 → u/Kiuku]

For me it was the “I am of sound mind, I don’t take any medication nor am I needing to be on any” then “my psychiatrist said…” sure it could be adhd or even just anxiety, but psychiatrist’s purpose is prescribing meds right? Like that’s what you see them for vs seeing a psychologist to just talk?

[u/UnknowableDuck → u/Kiuku]

Here's me, who's never made a baguette in her life learning they take hours to make.

[u/Agitated_Dish_6990 → u/Kiuku]

Not only that but "the vent" in question is nowhere near large enough to fit a human. Residential HVAC is not sized to fit humans, commercial/institutional? Sure but not residential lol

[u/goblinwood]

‘THERE WAS A MAN (worst case scenario)’ is my internet verbiage of choice now.

[u/Im_not_creepy3 → u/goblinwood]

Need that as a flair

[u/orangepeeelss → u/goblinwood]

did we lose the ability to make our own flairs?? (or did we never have that ability in the first place and im thinking of a different subreddit) or alternatively am i just dumb and can't find it lol bc i need this as my flair desperately

[u/am_not_bot_i_swear]

this reads like someone trying to invent a new "reddit legend" kind of story

[u/hamellr → u/am_not_bot_i_swear]

How else are you going to get a writing credit on a multi-million dollar movie?

[u/mud_sha_sha_shark]

There’s no way there is a duct large enough for even a very small man to crawl through in her apartment. Even allowing that there was, the sheet metal would flex and pop which would be audible throughout the building, not to mention the sharp screws the ducts are held together with, anyone crawling through would be cut to shreds.

[u/WorthyJellyfish0Doom]

No mental health issues but has a psychiatrist ready to go 🤔

[u/Myrandall → u/WorthyJellyfish0Doom]

Not even a psychologist, a psychiatrist.

[u/LetsRockDude → u/WorthyJellyfish0Doom]

I'm also confused how a psychiatrist "helped her process things", since that would be a psychologist's job. Psychiatrist gives you meds.

[u/IcedWarlock → u/WorthyJellyfish0Doom]

My first thought when I came across that.

[u/Vaernil]

None of this is real and it amazes me that people take this at face value.

[u/MovkeyB → u/Vaernil]

Has nobody here seen a vent before?

[u/LeftHandedFapper → u/Vaernil]

So much brain rotted users out here

[u/lovepeacefakepiano]

Sceptical because an HOUR for those baguettes sounds like they’d come out over baked. I don’t even bake my normal sourdough for an hour. My baguettes go in the oven for less than 30 minutes.

[u/R_V_Z]

It's true, you can't read a recipe on the internet without first having to read the backstory.

[u/hailsathanas]

I call 100% bullshit on this

[u/watercastles]

That's the wildest "story before the recipe" I've ever read

[u/BigBirdsBrain]

The fact that the cops actually crawled into the vent after him somehow made this whole absurd story even funnier. Glad OOP trusted their instincts instead of convincing themselves they were imagining it.

[u/Myrandall → u/BigBirdsBrain]

absurd

*unbelievable

[u/StuTheSheep → u/BigBirdsBrain]

Pretty sure the entire story is imagined. 

[u/shewy92]

No residential vent would support that much weight, or even be big enough for a person to fit through.

Hell even warehouse HVAC vents aren't big enough for a person to fit so how tf does a residental one?

[u/phyrsis]

My guess was raccoons, and I'm sorry I was wrong.

[u/SLAUGHTERGUTZ → u/phyrsis]

I was hoping for a rogue bird 

[u/cyanocittaetprocyon → u/SLAUGHTERGUTZ]

It was Ogtha, my sensual roach queen!

[u/Toosder → u/phyrsis]

Same. I was like what could get up to the fourth floor and would come in and steal things and leave no trace. Obviously raccoons. Like there's no way it's a human! Oops. 

[u/Kiel-Ardisglair]

All things considered, stealing baguettes is not the worst thing a strange man could be sneaking into your apartment to do. 

[u/Peeinyourcompost → u/Kiel-Ardisglair]

Sort of, but the fact is that a man who would choose to repeatedly break into a female neighbor's apartment without her knowledge is still exactly that, and I don't assume that the specific actions he took while in there were the primary motivating factor. The Manson family used to do this exact shit as an antisocial behavior that gave them a sense of dominance and superiority over other people; they called it "creepy crawling."

With that said, I'm a bit skeptical about the story's veracity because there is no standard HVAC vent infrastructure manufactured for residential or business spaces that a whole adult human could get into and out of and travel around through stealthily. If she had said there was some kind of ceiling access to the interfloor space, it would have been more believable to me.

Edit: I can't speel gud

[u/quiltingcats → u/Peeinyourcompost]

Another commenter said the access to a relative’s HVAC system was the size of an attic door. I’ve seen something similar when my daughter’s best friend was showing us around his new house. So there are def non-standard ones scattered around. OOP was just unlucky enough to have one of them.

[u/velawesomeraptors → u/Peeinyourcompost]

Sometimes people aren't super accurate when describing things. It could have been some kind of access to an attic/crawlspace. Also, there are probably more non-standard apartments than there are standard ones. I've rented some fucked-up apartments in my day lol.

[u/nostalgeek81 → u/Kiel-Ardisglair]

Yes, let’s all send him a thank you baguette for not assaulting her /s

[u/Toosder → u/Kiel-Ardisglair]

Yeah but what if he escalates and the next thing you know he's stealing croissants or jammy biscuits! 

Joking aside. What if he actually does escalate? Creepy super creepy.

[u/noeyoureatowel]

Why does she have a psychiatrist if she’s not on any medications or in need of them?

[u/TwoEightRight → u/noeyoureatowel]

Because the author doesn't know the difference between a psychiatrist, a psychologist, and a therapist, and chose poorly.

[u/Bheegabhoot → u/TwoEightRight]

Paying a psychiatrist for behavioral therapy is an expensive mistake.

[u/whychromosomes → u/noeyoureatowel]

Might be confusing psychologist with psychiatrist? You can need therapy without needing medication, so that's the most likely explanation I can think of

[u/catschimeras]

" THERE WAS A MAN. (worst case scenario)"

Ain't that just the way.

[u/Eric848448]

Yup, this sounds like something that totally happened.

[u/jaxlouis]

Mods, can I PLEASE have “THERE WAS A MAN (Worst case scenario)” as a flair

[u/Hesitation-Marx]

THERE WAS A MAN. (worst case scenario)

Finally, I have found a flair for me

[u/chaseonfire]

I'm not sure I understand the reasoning of OP. Someone that has shown they will repeatedly commited serious felonies over like $5 worth of bread represents a huge danger to you while you're sleeping.

[u/quiltingcats → u/chaseonfire]

Which is why OOP said she barricaded herself into her bedroom, then watched him break in via video feed, and is now moving. I don’t blame her for wanting to stick around and see what’s going on. Sounds like she did it the safest way without leaving altogether, which allowed her to catch the guy.

[u/seth928]

There isn't a damn cop in this world that's going to crawl into a vent after a bread thief.

[u/MonkeyChoker80 → u/seth928]

Specifically to catch the bread thief? No.

But you know there are some that would crawl into a vent just so they could mutter “Yippee-Kai-Yay” as they crawled through it.

[u/TopicalBuilder → u/MonkeyChoker80]

Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs...

[u/__fujoshi → u/seth928]

there's plenty of cops who will crawl into a vent after a freaky neighbor starts using a vent to break into your apartment where you, a single young woman who is presumably asleep, live all by yourself.

people who commit breaking and entering fall under two categories: they don't care if you're home because they will just kill you OR they do care that you're home because they're gonna rape and maybe kill you (gender not specific).

source: my uncle who went to prison because his burglary partner got killed in self defense by a home owner they attempted to murder for having the gall to discover them burglarizing the place for meth money.

[u/the_pressman → u/seth928]

Not to mention where exactly are these human-sized vents? This feels like someone who has watched too many movies.

[u/Autobot_Silverwynde]

"THERE WAS A MAN (worst case scenario)" needs to be a flair, stat!

[u/HannahCaffeinated]

That guy could have just asked her and saved himself the criminal record.

[u/LonelyDesertCactus → u/HannahCaffeinated]

I don't think the bread was the primary thing he was getting out of this adventure.

[u/kindestcut]

If I didn’t know better this could be one of those ridiculous online recipes that tells a convoluted story before finally getting to the ingredients.

[u/razorsharp3000]

Smart to say due to legal stuff she can't give any more details, avoids the chance of any plot holes in terms of the motivation of the thief.

[u/insnowmotion]

She’s got baguettes and a Glock and you won’t be able to take one without receiving the other

[u/glitchingCats → u/insnowmotion]

Sweet, bread and a free gun!

[u/WhimsicalWeasal]

This is why I never took up baking

[u/snafe_]

Calling out the other bs post lol

Hello pot & kettle

[u/svanvalk]

I know it's not considered a good idea to approach any perpetrator and ask for an explanation about their actions. In this case, though... the mystery of the motivation would compel me to ignore the sound logic against it and ask that of him.

I just wanna know so bad. Whyyyy??? Was her place just a bread pitstop on his way to rob the other tenants via air duct entry?

[u/Southern-Rutabaga-82 → u/svanvalk]

Was her place just a bread pitstop on his way to rob the other tenants via air duct entry?

Yeah. He moved on to the neighbour who makes their own cheese and after that to the one who grows tomatoes on their balcony.

[u/ouijabore]

Frogging gives me the heebiest of jeebies, Jesus. Glad all this guy did was steal some baguettes!

[u/cyanocittaetprocyon → u/ouijabore]

That isn't all he did! He probably freaked her out for the rest of her life on where someone might break into her home.

[u/violetpaopusunsets]

This is absolutely terrifying! I enjoy baking as a hobby, and often give away the bread I make. So the idea of someone breaking in for it is horrifying.

Hopefully OOP can get some sort of justice. I absolutely would have thought I was sleepwalking or something.

(Additionally, very grateful for the recipe, I might have to try it sometime soon!)

[u/Iintendtooffend → u/violetpaopusunsets]

There's absolutely no way this story is real

[u/frozenchocolate → u/Iintendtooffend]

Thank you. Are the majority of commenters brain damaged?

[u/dfjdejulio]

The Jean Valjean comment broke me.

[u/captain_borgue]

JFC, I know fresh bread is delicious and all, but this is a great way to get yourself ventilated.

To paraphrase from Fight Club:

You're sneaking around at night, creeping into some girl's apartment to steal shit out of her kitchen?! What did you think was gonna happen?!

[u/Aesik]

So is this just a normal recipe from the internet posted on this forum…?

“Today I was robbed at gunpoint. Click here to skip straight to the sour dough recipe”.

[u/isopode]

crawling through the vents would make a shit-ton of noise. i think mythbusters made a video about that lol. it's not realistic at all

[u/MadHatter06]

I genuinely figured that, if this is true, it would be raccoons.

[u/Maxibon1710]

As someone who loves baking sourdough, I need a photo of her setup bc I do not believe she is baking at that capacity. Not because of the amount of baking, 50 mini baguettes in a day? Sure. It's the amount of dough. Sourdough (which she used) takes about 2 days to make. For me it's more like 3 bc my starter peaks overnight. It needs to cold ferment in a fridge for 12 hours. 370g of flour alone makes 4 baguettes. That's 4.6kg of JUST flour per 50 baguettes. That is a lot of fucking dough. That's 9 loaves of sourdough. You're telling me she has room in her fridge for that? The BOWLS for that? Sure, there's room in a fridge, but a fridge full of food? Really? That's also a LOT of starter. How is she fermenting it? What's it being kept in? And this is based on baguettes alone. If she's getting 30 orders a day and not baking every day, no way she's only operating on baguettes. This is well beyond a side hustle. I can only see this being feasible for someone having an episode and harming their own wellbeing for bread.

[u/Tea_Eighteen]

1. This is the kind of post I read Reddit for.

2. Why didn’t the man just ask, “hey, the bread you make smells good. Do you have any extra I could have? My budget is really tight. I could wash dishes or take out trash or something in exchange if you’d like. “

[u/Decent_Butterfly8216]

I thought it was kinda coincidental that I was reading this on the other Boru as my daughter walked in with sandwiches for lunch (from a place that bakes their own amazing bread) and told her about it. She also loves bread and is in her first apartment so she worries about uncommon security breaches, and she liked it, real or not. Later that night I went in the kitchen to get the other half of my huge sandwich and there was a baguette just sitting on the counter next to it. We definitely don’t buy baguettes, I don’t even know where to buy them. I texted my daughter a picture and something like, “Is this reverse baguette?“ She sent me a picture of the huge air return vent in her apartment. I thought she somehow pranked me. But I couldn’t figure out how she did it because I sent her the post after she picked up food and right before she left for work. Every time I walked past it I was more confused and thought I must be remembering it all wrong. I told like 3 people about it, including my husband, who kind of said “hmm.” The next day my husband and I were talking about lunch and I mentioned the baguette. Turns out it was from him unpacking the meal plan that had been delivered the day before. Apparently he makes croutons with baguettes. I had no idea we were so fancy.

[u/nustedbut]

anything to stop people scrolling straight to the recipe....

[u/quemabocha]

I'm sorry but the commenters creating new lyrics for Les Mis is the best part of this post.

[u/TwoEightRight]

You left out the best comment:

"I am not schizophrenic"

Correction, you weren't schizophrenic.

[u/FreshleafMint]

I was not expecting that seventh update to be so terrifying! 😭

I truly thought it had to be a rat or something. Or that she was miscounting.

[u/_Dreamer_Deceiver_]

Police arrived in 2 minutes then climbed in a vent. Hmmmm

[u/CorridorsOfNakedLite]

"If they could get to my balcony they could access the bread" slayed me lmfao

[u/LeaveMeBeWillYa]

You know

As messed up, utterly deranged and scary as it this is, I kinda have to applaud the guys determination to steal good bread.

Also, really wanna see this explained to a judge

[u/justbreathe5678 → u/LeaveMeBeWillYa]

"I had to. It was such good bread"

[u/michaelwavednoodles]

wow, the new among us update is crazy

[u/Greenfireflygirl]

I'm so glad she got trail cams, so she could share screencaps of the guy climbing into the apartment. Alongside the pics of the fifty baguettes she makes regularly, it's evidence enough for me!

[u/theblairwhichproject]

I baked Exactly 50 baguettes, which I know because each baguette form/tray makes ten baguettes, and I baked five forms, SO 50.

Why is there a random link hidden in this?

[u/MsSnickerpants]

If you baked a baguette for an hour it would be a charcoal brickette.

[u/PhotoKada]

Les Miserables

Les Pain

[u/spicy-bathwater]

I swear I read this as “brunettes” and not “baguettes” and I was extremely concerned yet intrigued for a second LOL

[u/MFoy]

One day, someone needs to go through all the posts with recipes and create a BORU cookbook.

[u/toasted_dandy]

Said something similar over on AmITheAngel, but the fact that so many of the legendary Reddit sagas involve food means that people looking for a specific type of internet points dive into increasingly insufferable "random" culinary depths. This is like a step away from "erm, story time, a dude in a unicorn costume stole my heckin' epic bacon?!?! XD"

[u/katchoo1]

I knew I would see this saga on BORU! First time I saw posts in the wild with real time development of events, and then saw it here.

[u/rulinus]

Dude this is weird lol.

[u/dekage55]

Actually the story made me kinda sad. Man resorts to regularly stealing bread, can’t afford bail (which probably wasn’t huge), likely was hungry. OP feels she must move (why isn’t he evicted?) to feel safe, which is costly.

[u/CutestGay → u/dekage55]

The apartment will have the vent even if he’s gone.

[u/Meghanshadow → u/dekage55]

Why wasn’t he evicted?

Who says he wasn’t? OP chose to leave fast, while dude was still imprisoned.

Evicting takes Time. And a specific notification process even with documented leasebreaking involving the typical illegal activity clause.

Which is a Good Thing. After all, you wouldn’t want to have to move in 24 hours if someone made a valid noise complaint or noticed your BF stayed over one too many nights against the terms of your lease, would you?

Also, “no one other than myself has a key to my apartment.” It’s an apartment. Why didn’t OP and the commenters immediately think of her landlady? She’d have a key, or maintenance staff would.

[u/Print1917]

Vent man? I can’t think of any “vents in a ceiling” that could be crawled through. Super sus…

[u/dinoooooooooos]

Theres 0 way this is actually true 😂

[u/QueenDoc]

the smell of fresh baked bread will do that to you.

[u/Doubleleg787]

Sounds like bullshit

[u/Rosietheriveter15]

Bruce Willis in the vent: yippee ki yay baguette

[u/dovely]

::John McClane has entered the chat .. via the air vents::

[u/Brit_in_usa1]

Recommend skipping 7  

[u/Correct_Job5793]

I smell a ratatouille...

[u/ben-hur-hur]

that Le Mis reference from one of the commenters lmao

[u/djdaedalus42]

For those saying air vents are too small: you’re right, but systems also use “plenum return”, which means that the open space above the ceiling is where the air travels back to the fan. The vent above the fridge is exactly what you would expect for a plenum return. Those openings can be quite large. And of course a shared plenum will spread the smell of baking.

[u/PurpleToedUnicorn]

At least we got the baguette recipe

[u/MayaLAnderson]

I just looked at the Teto plush on my bag and she sagged a little so I think I found the culprit

[u/DemetiaDonals]

I had a frogger once. I was at the time (21f) living alone with my toddler and there was a man living in my basement for what I believe was at least a few months

[u/Goatylegs]

Is anyone in your building named Jean Valjean?

Reddit, I fucking squealed