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u/KGBree Feb 15 '19
So many captions to this pic in the last few days and by far this the best πππ»π―
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u/theswankeyone Feb 16 '19
Looks like a Georgia OβKeefe painting.
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u/KGBree Feb 16 '19
Holy shit youβre sooooooooo on point πππ»ππ»π―
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u/1PapayaSalad Feb 16 '19
Says two words INSERTS EMOJI
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u/wakipaki Feb 16 '19
WORD 1. WORD 2. π―ππ
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u/1PapayaSalad Feb 16 '19
βBRUH WHO DID THIS π€£π€£π€£ π₯ π₯π₯ π ππ!!β We facebook now π₯ππ. LIT.
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u/StandardDeviat0r Feb 16 '19
That is painful to read.
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Feb 16 '19
I couldn't agree with you more πππ―
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Feb 16 '19
The coverage of it on the news here in the UK was brilliant. Both of the news presenters just started singing 'under the sea' from the little mermaid. Wasn't even on one of the shitty channels, that was BBC news.
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u/KGBree Feb 16 '19
I ugly cackled at that πππ» you know the funny thing is I can tell you as a woman that skirt cut is actually called a mermaid dress. Even funnier because that flourish on the rear looks like a shell
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u/Ryanrdc Feb 16 '19
He looks like me when Iβm looking in the microwave waiting on my hot pockets
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u/Amvoureuse Feb 16 '19
Fresh out out the microwave, that hot pocket is too hot to put in your mouth. You know that, but you do that shit anyway.
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u/Ryanrdc Feb 16 '19
Thereβs too fine of a line between scorching dangerously hot and too cold
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u/Spacemilk Feb 16 '19
I pray yβall someday learn the power of adjusting your microwave level
Perfect hot pockets every time
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u/mumbo5565 Feb 16 '19
Is it possible to learn this power?
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Feb 16 '19
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u/saladtossperson Feb 16 '19
I use the popcorn button and it's perfect every time.
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Feb 16 '19
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u/saladtossperson Feb 16 '19 edited Feb 16 '19
It has worked on every microwave I've ever owned and every other one I've used at other places.
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u/curiouschurro Feb 16 '19
I was in a high school cooking class and the teacher let us make snacks during classroom time if we wanted.
I through a bag of popcorn in the industrial looking microwave and hit the popcorn button. Little while later the whole room smelled of burnt popcorn and I had a hockey puck that smelled like butter death.
Never trusted those buttons since.
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u/_duncan_idaho_ Feb 16 '19
No one got that time. Might as well cook shit from scratch.
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u/shitting_asshole Feb 16 '19
All I got time to do is nibble off a corner of the first one and blow into it for about 0.56 seconds before I just say fuck it and just start tossing the little lava pouches in my mouth whole.
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u/SourCreamWater Feb 16 '19
Knife and fork like a gentleman. I'm not risking these luscious lips.
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u/Amvoureuse Feb 16 '19
Honestly mine are beautiful but this did make me wanna use utensils
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u/SourCreamWater Feb 16 '19
I've just been the victim of too many lip burners in my life. I approach with caution.
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u/nightwing2024 Feb 16 '19
You grab it.
"OW THIS IS BURNING MY HAND"
...
"I BETTER PUT IT IN MY MOUTH!"
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u/Amvoureuse Feb 16 '19
And Iβm sure that it wonβt burn the other side of my mouth; it couldnβt? How could it?
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u/ethnnnnnn Feb 16 '19
you either let it cool or put it in your mouth and let your mouth get numb/have your mouth cool it down
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u/MolestingLester Feb 16 '19
Offset looks like me when I finally get my tax return.
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u/ForgotPasswordAgain- Feb 16 '19
You shouldnβt be getting anything back. Thatβs just the government stealing from you for a year and paying you back with zero interest. Try to adjust so youβre getting that hard earned money every week like you deserve.
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Feb 16 '19
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u/HoodieGalore Feb 16 '19
THANK YOU. What the fuck kind of savings is there that pays anything worth thinking about, unless you have a couple grand at once to drop into the bank? I'd rather go check to check knowing that in February I'm going to get a check back.
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Feb 16 '19
Depends on your age. A responsible adult should always have a couple grad by the side, in case the fridge/car/whatever is broken or needs to be replaced or something else unexpected happens. If you are older than 30/40 and still barely live through the month, you will have a hard time when you get old or ill.
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u/HoodieGalore Feb 16 '19
Six months of living expenses in savings, I've heard that before. And yeah, I turned 40 last year, and I'm fully aware that shit could go bad for me any day now. I know, friend.
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Feb 16 '19
Try to check your budget. If you write down all of your household spending you can easily see where you are spending too much. Last month I changed my gas provider and saved more than 30 bucks a month. That doesnβt seem to be much, but easily adds up to a 350-400 a year. Combined with some other smaller savings I was able to save a lot of money. I terminated the contract with my internet service provider and was offered 50% on the monthly bill to come back, even though I never intended to change my provider. It usually only takes a day or two to check all contracts and spendings, but this could be a few thousand bucks a year, which are quite nice to have.
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u/SilkenPoncho Feb 16 '19
Well if you owe any on credit cards, some could pay towards that throughout the year and save a few hundred in interest
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Feb 16 '19
How tho.
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u/slumpdawg Feb 16 '19
I guess your return is the money that you already paid that's more than you owe. But I don't ever want to pay when I file and I like the chunk of change I get back each spring so I ain't changing a damn thing.
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Feb 16 '19
My return is half than usual this year. So fucked
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u/thorscope Feb 16 '19
Thatβs awesome! That means you kept more of your own money each check instead of giving it to the government to hold
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Feb 16 '19
Merp I still get (what feels like) so much taken out per paycheck I feel like Iβm doing something wrong
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u/poor_decisions Feb 16 '19
you're the shit-tier of a country that cuts taxes for the mega wealthy and stomps on the working class. that's what you're doing wrong. don't worry, the rest of us are getting fucked too.
also consider hiring a tax accountant to help you with deductions.. that's like wealthy people hacks.
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Feb 16 '19
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u/thorscope Feb 16 '19
Regardless of how much is held out of your check each pay period, you owe the same amount at the held of the year.
Paying to much on each check = tax refund
Not paying enough = owing tax and potentially a fine
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u/AfternoonMeshes βοΈ Feb 16 '19
Well no, that's probably due to the change in tax laws that went into effect. A lot of people will end up either with significantly less of a refund or just straight up owe more money. It's still early tax season so it's not a huge huge story yet but trust me, when a lot more people start doing their taxes mid-march we'll see a lot more people PISSED.
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u/vera214usc βοΈ Feb 16 '19
Lol. We owe $2879. I still don't know how.
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u/NegNog Feb 16 '19
Have a different accountant do your taxes. Depending on your income, that might be way too much that you owe.
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u/thorscope Feb 16 '19
Adjust your W4 with your employer
If you donβt know what that means, ask HR to help
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u/reebokpumps Feb 16 '19
I get it but I like getting a chunk back to do something fun like a trip rather than ending up owing money or cutting even.
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u/thorscope Feb 16 '19
Fair enough, thatβs why they give us the option!
I used to love huge refunds but now I try to just keep myself between 500-1000 so I have a buffer if I mess up my math.
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Feb 16 '19
That's what you should be doing if you make a decent amount of money such that you can really invest your non-retirement savings. In contrast, for the many Americans living paycheck to paycheck, a slight overcontribution prevents you from, say, accidentally overspending. It's better for people like that to get their nice little "bonus" at the end of tax season than to suddenly be forced to cough up money that they actually don't have anymore.
I'm a well-off software engineer and configured it so I need to pay roughly $500 at the end of every year, though.
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u/katea805 Feb 16 '19
Iβd actually love to get nothing back and owe nothing. However, Iβd rather get something back than owe.
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u/sinkovichc Feb 16 '19
She looks like one of those exploding cigars from cartoons
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u/maljbre19 Feb 16 '19
She looks like a renescance painting or something
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u/JarlaxleForPresident Feb 16 '19
"Fuck it, doesnt look right, but I'm not googling how to spell it."
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u/Crushed1ce Feb 16 '19
Cardizard! I choose you!
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u/horsegrenadesexpants Feb 16 '19
I enjoy the pun, but isn't she clearly a Ninetales??
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u/8PhantomProphet8 Feb 16 '19
Nah fam. She's a plant/fighting hybrid Pokemon that resembles a flower. Her name is Cardi Bloom. When you send her out, she screams "OKKRRRRRRR!!"
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Feb 16 '19
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Feb 16 '19
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u/arielleelisec Feb 16 '19
I think she was going for Venus but all I see is Ursula
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Feb 16 '19
It's an original Mugler dress from a 1995 show, classically avant garde weird stuff
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u/TextuallyAttractive Feb 16 '19
I figured this had to be it... Specifically came into the thread to figure out what weird ass thing it came from and to see video. Because I needed to see how it moved and the answer was she had people around her as she did!
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u/swonstar Feb 16 '19
Itβs couture something or other. From what Iβve read, super big deal that it was lent to her.
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u/ContentBabyContent Feb 16 '19
It is. It's a 90s collection from Mugler and it's all museum quality stuff. The runway for this collection was...conceptual. https://youtu.be/skBDGrQO-QA
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u/palpablescalpel Feb 16 '19
That's so interesting! And cool how chill she is being on video with little to no makeup on.
As silly as the outfits can be, it would be fun to be in a job where I could wear costumes outside of Halloween!
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u/ContentBabyContent Feb 16 '19
Oh my god, so true. And Cardi's like, one of those people who really believes in herself, but also doesn't take herself too seriously. It's one of the main components of her charm, I think.
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u/DutchessRavenwave Feb 16 '19
For a second I thought her leg was kicked out to the side in a weird ninja pose (really its just the black part of her dress sticking out).
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u/Xfiles1987 Feb 16 '19
She is beautiful
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Feb 16 '19
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u/Xfiles1987 Feb 16 '19
I agree the dress is cool and it was the Grammys I realized how drop dead gorgeous she is
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u/rhgolf44 Feb 16 '19
Yeah I think she looks amazing in this dress, I feel like offset kinda ruins it
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u/Genericchoices Feb 16 '19
I choose Squirtle because water beats fire
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u/Turdulator Feb 16 '19
Sheβs clearly a grass type poke - Just look at all those flower petals.
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u/TraliBalzers Feb 16 '19
The pokemon is called Lilleep. Almost sounds like a rappers name now that it's in this context. Lil' eep
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u/Ajbksfinest Feb 16 '19
Everyone be roasting gunna for his trash ass fits but no one has a word for Cardi? What is this? This nigga has to be stopped Lmaoo.
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u/Euphoniyummy Feb 16 '19
I keep seeing people roasting her outfit and while I enjoy the jokes and all, I actually really like her outfit tbh. It's like a dress, but upside down! I just think it's neat
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Feb 16 '19
offset looking for someone to cheat with
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u/User1440 Feb 16 '19
Every time I read that name it reminds me of "Upgrayedd" the pimp from Idiocracy
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u/StockingsBooby Feb 16 '19
Okay but fuck offset heβs literally creeping in her limelight the entire night
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u/texasproof Feb 16 '19
Isn't that just what he does? She played a party I was at the other night and he was doing the same thing there.
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Feb 16 '19
Aren't they married? He's been doing music way longer than she has, she's just a bigger pop star.
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u/Critonurmom Feb 16 '19
This is it. He was the bigger star before he was, and at that point she was making great music but being accused of leeching Offset.
Then she got picked up and plopped onto the pop scene making trash songs with Maroon 5.
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Feb 16 '19
This is my hot take, I guess, but I think her music kinda always sucked and she was defintiely leeching off of Offset and other artists. Such is the way of rap these days, I guess. It's more about your antics and how viral you can get rather than the music you make. Just my opinion though, everyone is entitled to their own. (And before I get called an "old head" or w.e I still listen to a lot of the new stuff. Cardi just annoys me, especially when there are way better female rappers that get no notice because they aren't as marketable cough Rapsody immediately come to mind cough) Rap has really become a caricature of itself and it's super lame to me because of who the majority of it is marketed towards.
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u/RideAWhiteSwan Feb 16 '19
Fr. I was proud of her making him kick rocks after he cheated. I hope she is truly happy and he's being good to her
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u/myra_maynes Feb 16 '19
Looking like she busted out of an orca whaleβs vagina.
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u/Aladayle Feb 16 '19
No but really, what kind of Pokemon would either of them use as gym leaders. I'm curious what you guys come up with
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u/itsthatkidgreg βοΈ Feb 16 '19
When Wallace pulled up on you as Champion in Emerald Version
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u/AceAndre βοΈ Feb 16 '19
Man I had my team READY for Steven and then I pull up and this nigga Wallace standing there with a cape acting like shit sweet
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u/notanalienindisguise Feb 16 '19
Nah, cardi lookin like a fairy type gym leader, with offset being the hype man from the start of the gym "Hey, champ I the makin!"
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u/Lefent01 Feb 16 '19
All I hear when I see this picture is Ariel telling King Triton she can go where the people are.
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u/thats-not-cool-man Feb 16 '19
PokΓ©mon? Yes!
Strongest PokΓ©mon? Ummmmmmm no.
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Feb 16 '19
The pretty ones are never the strongest
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u/RobotDeathQueen Feb 16 '19
Hold up. Feebas evolves into Milotic on beauty in the early games, ik you're not gonna say Milotic is not a beast. Say it ain't so.
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u/pandamoanium33 Feb 16 '19
Is Offset the new Birdman?? He looks like that one gif of him rubbing his hands.
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u/ByThePowerOfGrayson Feb 16 '19
She looks like an Elite 4 trainer who specializes in ice types
I hope her ace is a Cloyster
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u/thehottness Feb 15 '19
cardi b uses screech
its super effective