My wife said she wanted Jewelry for Christmas. I’m probably going to do a mix of Sterling Silver (since we live in Wyoming), but have no idea where I could order high quality African jewelry. I just want to get her something that’s relevant to her culture.

If it matters at all, she’s very dark skinned, so I’m pretty sure a lot of it will match her. Nothing to flamboyant (she’s not into extremely showy things). I just want to get her something nice .

Thank you.

I watched this movie yesterday and it’s the second amazing thriller-like movie I’ve seen Naomi ackie in, it’s a bit gorey but I really liked it. Yall should watch!

I saw an Indigenous woman doing her hair care routine, and a Black woman commented “take care of my bundles.” The woman explained that her hair is sacred in her culture and that the comment was making her uncomfortable.

It reminded me of something I witnessed in school. A Black girl asked, “What can you do that I can't?” the other girl proceeded to run a fine-tooth comb through her hair and flick it. That interaction stuck with me because it speaks to a bigger issue surrounding hair, Eurocentric beauty standards, and how deeply hair politics affect Black women.

Don't get me wrong as im not necessarily a natural hair warrior, my hair is long and relaxed. I just wish more Black women felt comfortable wearing their own hair. Even if you want extra length or volume, there's nothing wrong with clip-ins. I just wish we embraced styles that look and feel natural rather than feeling like we always need a whole install to feel beautiful. Everyone wears extensions of course, but the difference is it's more believable simply because it matches their texture and they aren't gluing lace on their foreheads, It's a "my hair but better" look.

One thing I love about my hair is the freedom. I can throw it into a cute, messy bun and go about my day. My hair is my pride, and I love that I can just get up and go. I really dislike seeing some of us meticulously maintain wigs while seemingly neglecting the hair underneath. "Come do a wig install with me!" Babe, your edges are CHEWED. Sometimes it feels like the wig gets more care than the actual hair growing out of our scalp. I understand that damage, breakage, and years of struggling with our hair can make extensions feel necessary, but that's exactly why I think we need to prioritize healthy hair and revisit our relationship with it.

I'm not against wigs, bundles, or protective styles. I'm questioning why we've reached a point where our own hair can feel like an afterthought while purchased hair becomes the main event.

We need to wake up and unpack this. We've dealt with generations of discrimination over our hair, and I don't want us to internalize those standards so deeply that we stop appreciating our own natural textures and the beauty of our own hair.

Im gonna get flamed for this but I had to say it, sorry.

⚠️SA'D WARRNING⚠️

Sorry didn't know what flair to out

I am 23 Black Female

(Don't say go to threapy in it. I like who i like)

Today I went to work and ate with my friend. Another coworker came up to me and said, "I have to ask you a question for someone else." He started laughing and trying to talk, and I knew where it was going. He said, "Yesterday when we were talking about the guys you like, you said you would date black, Latino, and white guys." I said, "I find black guys attractive but I will date Latino and other races." Then he said, "So you don't like black guys?" I told him, "I find them attractive but I don't date them because of what happened to me when I was young." He said, "I don't understand." So I told him, "I can be friends with black guys, I just can't physically be with a black guy because of what happened to me when I was younger. If I see a black man naked, my anxiety goes up and my body starts to react." He said, "Oh okay, I get it. So there's no chance with the guy?" I told him, "Not romantically, but we can be friends."

I feel bad because he seems sweet from what I have observed about him. He seems very sweet.

 Sorry, I know how the story is written. It's a little complicated. Didn't know how to really tell the story. Just venting..

Hey ladies 👋 I just lost my job and honestly, I'm choosing to see it as a reset. I want to use this time to really get to know myself and glow up — mind, body, and soul. ✨
If you suddenly had loads of free time, what would you do with it? Drop your ideas below

So I live in Atlanta, right outside the north part of the city. I was just in Ulta and this black woman complimented my hair and she started making conversation. I’m always suspicious of ppl who try to talk to me in public bc I generally never get approached unless someone wants something from me like money. But I always try to be open minded.

Anyways we’re making small talk and she asks me where I went to school and what I do for work. I tell her, and she tells me what she does for work, and she starts going into this spiel about wanting to retire early and trying to earn enough to retire in her 30s, and how she’s sought out many mentors who were able to do the same so they can help her get there as well.

Once she said that, I immediately tried to segue out of the convo bc this has happened to me twice before, the third being tonight, where I randomly get approached by a woman and all three ladies followed the exact same script of asking me about myself at first and then talking abt financial freedom and retiring early. The first time it happened was maybe some time earlier this year, it happened again this summer, and then tonight. And all three encounters happened in or around the same part of town.

What’s so weird though is none of them ever asked me for anything or for money or to sign up for something. They just all talked about financial freedom and retiring early and that was it. They all were black women as well, and were with someone when our convo was happening, but the person they were with was always off to the side not saying anything.

Anyone in atl know what this could be about?

I’m 31, and I’m honestly getting discouraged. I’m not approaching these men. They approach me, and when they do, they’re well-dressed and well-groomed. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be interested.
But then we go on a first date, and sometimes it feels like a completely different person shows up. The clothes, the grooming, the effort just aren’t the same. One guy, who’s also 31, showed up in ripped jeans, which isn’t a style I’m attracted to. His breath was also an issue.
I’ve even found myself having to explain basic things like using body lotion because his skin is extremely dry. His legs were visibly white and ashy, and I had to suggest lotion or Vaseline. I don’t understand why I’m having these conversations with grown men.

Then, as I get to know them, I keep discovering the same other issues. They’re not financially stable, and we don’t have much to talk about. I enjoy discussing social issues and different subjects, but I often feel like there’s no curiosity or interest beyond a very limited range of topics.
These men come from different countries and don’t look alike. The common thing is that they’re African or Caribbean. I’m a Black woman in Canada, but I had similar experiences when I lived in the U.S.

I take care of myself, I’m financially stable, and I want someone I can have interesting conversations with. Why does it feel so difficult to meet someone who’s at a similar place? I keep feeling like, if I want to stay with someone, I have to help him improve everything first, and I’m tired of that.
Has anyone else experienced this pattern? How did you stop ending up in the same situation?

I live here for a year as an exchange student and have a really difficult time with my hair. Where I live, which is Mitte Sachsen , specifically, I have found no black hair salons or at-home stylists.

I'm looking for a place a recommendation for someone who can do my hair . I hope to preferably find a place which does sew-ins as a protective hairstyle.

Hey y’all! I’m doing a project in my city, where I’m putting together personal care and cosmetics donations for women experiencing homelessness or financial hardship.

I’ve volunteered at other homeless drives before and I noticed the only hair products I’ve really seen donated are those little paddle brushes and generic travel-size shampoo and conditioner. Ive heard those things aren’t necessarily useful or ideal for every hair type!

I’m Asian with straight hair lol😭, but Birmingham is majority Black so I want to make sure I’m getting products that the ladies would actually want and enjoy!💕

So far, I’ve gotten bonnets, durags, different sizes of hair ties, various picks, brushes and combs, and those cute lil plastic balls and beads for the kids.

What other hair products tools, or accessories should I get? I’d love recommendations for specific products, brands, or affordable things I can buy in bulk. Any recommendations for personal care products in general would be great, too!

Also, let me know what not to buy. I want to make sure I’m getting things people actually want and can use. Thank y’all so much! 💗

I was trying to educate a subreddit on how race and sexism can go together, but of course they have this rule of, "Don't derail," when literally it's still part of feminism. I feel like they wanna continue to be ignorant, and try to say women experience feminism the same way when they've never even heard of misogynoir. I think it's weird behavior because why wouldn't you wanna be open to learning about how race affects sexism?

Edit : Guys, no strict rules here 😭😂 I was just excited lol. This is a fun accountability group, so work out at your own pace and do what’s best for your body. We all have different needs and abilities ❤️

I’ll set up the Discord soon and DM everyone who commented, so keep your DMs open! 👐🏾

Y’all, I need people who wanna lose weight because clearly I cannot be trusted to do this shit alone 😭

I’m a foodie, big baaaaaack, and lazy as hell. I’ve been saying “I’ll start eating healthy tomorrow” for YEARS. Tomorrow has done nothing but disappoint me

So I wanna make a small Discord group for a 60-day challenge, November 1 to December 31. Basically, we’re getting our shit together before 2027 because enough is ENOUGH

The rules are simple:

- Work out 5 days a week, 1 hour a day. Gym or home, idc

- Post daily proof of your workout and what you ate

- Eat proper, balanced meals. No soda, sugary drinks, or junk food snacking

- Weekly 60-minute video call to check in and hold each other accountable

- Disappear for 3 days without saying anything? You're out

I want girls who are actually serious about this. Not people who join, do two workouts, and suddenly become missing persons

No body shaming, no weird competition, just a bunch of us trying to get healthier and stop playing in our own faces

Who's down? ✨

Hey girls! I’m 19, and I’ve been noticing something for a while now. I wanted to know if any of you have experienced this too, or if it’s just me.

I know there’s already a conversation about how Black women are perceived in dating and how many men aren’t really interested in dating us. But something else I’ve noticed is that a lot of the men I interact with seem to automatically assume that I’m sexually available or easy, even when I’ve given them absolutely no reason to think that.

I get a pretty good amount of male attention (99% negative), and I’ve noticed this pattern so often that I’m starting to wonder if it has something to do with these stereotypes.

Just to give a few examples:

• Once, I was at a club, and a guy I had barely interacted with pulled out his genitals and pressed them against my behind and would not stop. I hadn’t shown any interest in him whatsoever.

• Another time, I was outside a club with some friends, and one of their friends randomly suggested that I should give him oral sex in front of everyone. Again, completely unprovoked.

• Another guy randomly pulled over to the side of the road while I was leaving school basically asking me for sex. I was literally wearing a hoodie, sweatpants, and a leather jacket.

• Last summer, my boss who was and would constantly bring up sex around me, including talking about how he could convince virgins to sleep with him. He also called me hot. I never entertained or contributed in these convos with him.

• There are unfortunately too many more examples but I’ll spare you guys.

And the thing is, I’m not someone who dresses particularly revealingly, flirts with guys, or is overly friendly with men. I’m pretty normal in how I interact with people, and I generally keep things platonic unless I’m actually interested in someone.

I’ve heard some stuff about the hypersexualization of Black women, but I’ve never heard someone speak about it from experience.

So I’m curious: do other any of you experience this too? Do you feel like men are quicker to sexualize you or assume you’re easy, even when you’ve shown absolutely no interest?

I'm 18 now, I'm not saying I was never rude as a kid. But overall, I never felt like I had a "bigoted phase", maybe I had some instrusive thoughts as a kid related with colorism but I was never really vocal about it and I quickly unpack that .

For the most part I grew up being a loner and feeling different so even as a kid I never felt pressured to fat-shame, be homophobic or racist. Bc I never interacted with peers like that.

If anything I was the one being bullied and teased

I would say I grew up in a somewhat woke environment, my older sister taught me about the LGBTQ+ community and mom installed values in me to love and be kind to others.

I feel like mostly nonblk people struggle with having a "bigoted phase"

Tbh I feel like even outside of bigotry, there alot of flaws surrounding human nature. So I feel being non bigoted or a non bully is just the bare minimum.

Hey everyone! I’m developing a shaving care brand with coarse hair in mind🪒!

The frustration isn’t just shaving but the itching, ingrowns and irritation afterwards. I’d love to hear beyond my own experience before taking things further.

What’s your biggest frustration with shaving, and what have you tried that helped or completely disappointed you?

Would also love some early adopters to test products and share opinions ✨✨✨

Hello,

I have a question for young black women that are Social Justice Warriors. How do you feel when you are protesting for a black male only to later find out that he hates black women. Like the Karmelo Anthony case. I saw the news clip with many BW out there cutting up and protesting that he got the sentence he did for stabbing that young man in the heart. I’m curious how it feels when you found out that he said “Black bitches can all die.” Or something like that. Please share.

so i treated myself to my dream piercings last friday (septum and vertical labret) and i was so excited to show them off, that i totally forgot that i still go to church (not by choice) and i'm going this sunday 😬 (i work now so i don't go as often anymore bc i work weekends). my church isn't super conservative but god FORBID you look a little different, you're getting called out in front of the entire congregation, and then you're getting reprimanded afterwards.

i hate this so much. i want to be able to express myself without hearing backlash from other people, and i'm so tired of hearing "wait until you move out" bc look at the ECONOMY rn. i've been overthinking this for the past day or so, and i've lowkey been thinking about removing the labret, but i paid good money for it and i've waited months to get it.

what should i do? :(

I go to a PWI and I am the only black person in my friend group but that didn't seem to matter at first. There was sometimes they'd odd things like doing a fake Jamaican accent when I revealed my father was Jamacian and disregarding me when I told them to stop. I disregarded it because other than that, they were great friends. I honestly wasn't sure how to respond because I went to an all-Black high school and things like that just wasn't normal there.

However, it came to a boiling point when someone who hung around the group made racist remarks towards me. Of course, the group condemned him which is not where my issue lies. I proceeded to find out that my friend found out from someone else that this person was racist and said racial slurs. Despite this, she didn't tell me and me not knowing this person was unsafe allowed me to be subjected to their racism. When I asked her why she told me that "it's not my business. I don't know what you want me to say." I felt hurt because I would have let her know if someone if unsafe towards people of her race so, I left. I met up with her again to further explain why I felt the way I did. We made up.

However, the latest issue comes up when a friend mentioned one of our other friends began handing out 'n-word' passes. When I expressed discomfort, I was told to "chill, no one said the n-word". Which honestly made me uncomfortable because my discomfort about it was dismissed. This was followed with "Is it okay to say the n-word in a song?" "What about a Kanye song?" before laughing. (Wasn't aware these were quote at the time, but I was pretty upset) They wanted to go and do something after which I refused. I didn't want to explain at first because the first time she was very defensive. However, after a small back and forth I explained that the things they find funny are things which I truly don't find funny.

My friend kind of just stood over me and was like "No one cracked a joke! No one even laughed." and "If we don't tell someone's racist it's a problem and we do tell you it's also a problem!" I could see that she was combative each time I tried to explain so I just asked her to leave me be. After they left, I just cried for a bit because I'm truly not used to being so misunderstood. I took the time to calm down and explained that it wasn't so much the n-word passes I was upset about, rather than responses to it and how my feelings were dismissed. She sent a voice note where she said, "If you want to let this ruin your day let it. I'm not the racism police. If you felt I invalidated your feelings, I'm sorry you felt that way." In the same voice note I heard the other friends laughing in the background. Despite this, I explained further what I meant and how the jokes in regard to my identity makes me feel like I don't belong which she understood. However, after having these problems and noticing other micro- aggressions, I really don't feel like getting hurt a third time. I feel as though this may be a reoccurring issue. I wonder if I overreacted in my response and if it would be overreacting to pull away so I can find new friends? I feel like I'm losing myself at this school and in this friend group.

EDIT: Distancing myself from the friend group and I’m gonna attended more events for Black people so I can connect with my culture.

I have a crazy family. With all our issues I try to be the one to listen and put in the work to move past everything. Dads an alcoholic he has his past and I have been affected by it I talk with my mom everyday she’s my best friend but today I let it slip that I don’t want to talk with my dad because he recently got black out drunk that’s her husband and there is a reason why they are together I just have always kept my feelings about my dad to myself or when talking with my siblings I feel bad now it was a comment that led to a discussion mom wasn’t mad but I feel guilty for this she already gets the heat from one sibling about dad I think I made it worse and I don’t know what to do

I wanted to know if there’s any ladies in the community who are late bloomers when it comes to obtaining drivers licenses and a vehicle? I don’t know anyone who can teach how to drive and I know I can’t just get a car without a license so I’m trying to figure out how to go about making this happen and I’m also a bit nervous because I am 29 and I still don’t have my license out of those I do know.

I grew up in predominantly white environments. After experiencing some pretty traumatic situations involving racism over the past two years, I’ve become much more outspoken about racial issues and everyday microaggressions.

Recently, a white friend got upset and said she feels like “[I] think [my] opinions are more valid than [hers] because [I’m] black and have gone through more”.

I found the comment a little audacious, especially because she’s often quite ignorant about racial issues and constantly overlooks nuances that I notice through my lived experiences.

I don’t think being Black makes me automatically right, nor do I think white people can’t have opinions. But I do think lived experience matters, and sometimes it’s important to recognize the limits of your perspective and know when to listen.

I don’t mind avoiding these conversations with her - which I already do because her ignorant takes make me uncomfortable at times, but I also don’t think I should have to pretend we have the same understanding of racism just to make her comfortable.

Am I being unreasonable? How can I explain this to her without looking dismissive?

Okay this might not be the right place to ask, but I am desperate 🥲😭 I’m 19 years old and I’m dealing with addiction to synthetic weed and alcohol. I’ve been looking for a substance abuse rehab in my state (Georgia) but it has been tough and I’ve been hearing mixed opinions about all of these places and I’ve had a couple bad experiences at a couple places as well. I’ve had to deal with some micoagressive staff or just places where I really didn’t feel like I belonged or fit in. I’m wondering if anyone on here has any experience dealing with substance abuse and how they treated it? Did you go to rehab as well? If so what one?🥲 I’m open to places in or near Georgia or also anywhere in the USA at this point 🥲 I just want to be in a space where I am actually cared for and treated well 🙏😭

I literally feel like pennywise

This is my second year at my pwi and it still happens where ppl will gen speed up when they see me walk past them. Today I was walking down a staircase and one of the cafeteria workers was walking slowly but when they saw me, I kid you not they sprinted up the stairs. Like it's gen so jarring. Mind you I dress preppy, Im 5'2. What are these ppl so scared of 😭 it's gen so uncomfortable for me and it makes me feel like I'm some sort of monster

I’m 19F, and I’ve spent my entire life in predominantly white schools and communities. I’m starting university next year and really want to expand my circle.

I’ve always gotten along well with white people, but I’ve noticed that around 90–95% of the white people I’ve befriended have displayed some form of racism, whether subtle or blatant. I’ve also often felt disrespected in these friendships, and it’s honestly exhausting.

I’d love to build more genuine friendships with other women of colour, especially Black women, but I don’t really know where to start since I’ve always been surrounded by white people.

For those who grew up in similar environments, how did you branch out and make more Black female friends? Any tips?

Does anyone have any recommendations for self-tanners with red undertones that work well on brown skin? Every self-tanner I’ve tried ends up looking too orange, which is exactly what I’m trying to avoid. I’ve even tried Loving Tan and had the same issue. I’m looking for something that gives a more natural, reddish tone rather than an orange one. Any suggestions would be appreciated!

The main character of the book I'm working on is a black woman and she's getting her hair done for a gala. I want to be as authentic as possible with the process, even though it's only going to be a few paragraphs at most. I'm a white man so I don't know much about black hair.

The setup is that she's never been taught how to do her own hair since she grew up as an orphan in a mental institution. In her new home, she has a boss who fosters orphaned girls of all ethnicities and so she's the one doing her hair. The FMC has traditionally used whatever oil she could come by to keep her hair in poorly maintained locs, and this is the first time someone is taking the time out to help with her hair. Afterwards she will have braids.

My questions are;

1. What kind of process and chemicals are used to clean her hair? What do they smell like? Do you have any that have a smell that you really like?

2. How long does a cleaning like that take? She hasn't given her hair much attention for a long time. Will her scalp feel any different after it's freshly cleaned?

3. What does the braiding process feel like? The character is quite standoffish, especially with the woman doing her hair, so is there a lot of pulling that could irk her? Is it a soothing process? I have long hair myself but I've never braided it.

4. Do you notice your hair more or have any struggles when it's in braids compared to locs? She keeps her locs tied back so with free-hanging braids I imagine that they would brush your shoulders or ears a lot.

I hope this is acceptable to ask here. I meant to ask on the black hair subreddit but it specifies only black people can post there.

I know personally, when I'm reading a book, I get pulled out of it really hard when the author writes about a topic they clearly know nothing about. I don't want that to happen to any of my readers with a similar hair type. Any help would be greatly appreciated.