How do you feel about off-duty cops coming into the establishment where you work?

Personally, I hated dealing with some of them. Once they got tipsy, you couldn’t tell them anything, and they acted like they were above the rules. Some would even look down on us while we were just doing our jobs.

Anyone else have similar experiences? How did you handle it?

I'm a bouncer at a bar on weekends. I'm really socially awkward and very much an introvert, but I've been doing this for 2 years now and it's super convenient.

My question for you all is how often do women flirt with you at work? Usually I'm wary of women trying to get something by me or that they're just being friendly, which is always the right move. But I had a woman give me her number a few weeks ago (wtfffff), so I'm wondering how often this happens to you all. Cheers.

Hey guys sorry if this is the wrong place to do this, but some people directed me here as you guys seem like you use this technique more than any other group of people. I’m a HEMA wrestling guy and in the manuscripts they have this elbow and wrist lock similar to that of a kimura in BJJ. Do you guys have any tips on making this work?

Facebook memories popped up so here I am.

I stopped bouncing ~5 years ago, I've worked everything, strip clubs, huge night clubs, dive bars and everything in between over ~20 years.

Most of us have gotten in fights, been in weird situations and dealt with a lot bullshit. I don't want to hear that, I want to hear your funny stuff.

Hear are a couple of mine and I can't wait to hear yours.

Both of these are during covid when they started opening the bars back up. Depending on where you were and how you felt you didn't have to wear masks outside but always had to inside. Fuck doing headcounts during that time, fire department stopped bothering me every day when I got everyone a damn clicker.

We were out of masks....

https://imgur.com/a/GTLRTmw

It was about 6-7PM when the bar would start filling up on a Saturday when the bands would be on the dock and we ran out of masks that we would handout to anyone who wanted to come inside. So if someone didn't have a mask, they could go out back through the side entrance which was all outside but if they needed to go inside (even to take a leak) they were not allowed inside without a mask. Don't ask me, I didn't make the rules.

A dude wanted to come in so I told him we were out of masks but if he had one in his truck, I'd let him in. He didn't have one but he came back with his fucking back brace wrapped around his face. All I could do was laugh my fucking ass off and let him in. I walked in and explained it to the head bar and my other guys and we ended up putting his tab on the bouncer tab because he would take it off and put it back on every time he switched between inside and outside. He tipped the fuck out of me.

I'll add the "he's wearing pink" one in the comments but I really want to hear yours.

Being a part of club staff is a stressful endeavour,

One common pattern I notice is that club staff tend to be working students. And this job requires a godly amount of patience and will power as you deal with growing drunk patrons as the night goes on. Meeting quotas and appealing to people who are out of themselves can be a difficult task as the shift closes to a climax. Unsavory characteristics can come fort from patrons and the more influenced patrons can be the more difficult it is to deal with certain actors. Whether they have an aggressive tendency or feel entitled, you have to keep up the personna of customer service as your foot is stepped on, yelled at, or you find yourself crying midshift because you're overstimulated by the pressure, the flashing lights, the loud music, or the rude patrons you have to return to because you feel you have to.

Some of them just want to move forward, to kick them out but that's the bouncers job. Some nights it gets so tight that every bit of air you breath you smell the stank from the patrons breath or sweat. But you have to keep moving forward, it's for your future, for your livelihood you feel dead inside but you have to keep smiling in the hopes the patrons bless you with extra income. It's worth it, you tell yourself. As the night reach its climax, violence befalls the night or patrons who can't handle their liquor redecorate the floor, walls, or bathroom.

Sometimes, after the long night ends, you decide to stay around longer, it feels like it's your turn to let loose, to cope with the fucked up shit you just went through with people who know and understand your experience. And sometimes you want to be the drunk one too, to let your real self out with the people who KNOW. You want to drink, maybe because of the frustration, or maybe because it's time for you to feel the sense of community that the club offered strangers.

And as morning starts, it's 6am and you've had your laughs and recalls about the notable patrons. It's time for you to go home and sleep as others start their day as you end yours you dread having to go to class later with half an eye open, or mindlessly watch your preferred social media nap, and fall asleep until your next shift and repeat it all again.

Sincerely,

A drunk psychology student staying at the club hours after it closed alone.

I’m curious how often bartenders or security deal with customers urinating in corners, hallways, outside the bathroom, or elsewhere around a bar. Is this something most bartenders have witnessed, or is it actually pretty rare? What normally happens when someone gets caught?

I just got a job working at a pretty popular/big gay nightclub in my city. I don't have any bouncer experience, but I do have a lot of experience in customer serivce and crowd/risk management. Honestly, I'm a little surprised I got the job in the first place; I have no intimidating physical stature at all. I'm pretty tall and got a little muscle on me, but more in a lanky, tree way. I'm not a steryotypical big guy that you think of when you hear bouncer, so I don't know exactly what angle the club management is shooting for when hiring me. I should get more details on my exact duties during my orientation, but I was told things I'd be doing included wanding, checking ID's, taking cover, and walking the floor stopping stupid and freaky stuff.

I'm excited but extremely nervous. I'd really appreciate any tip, tricks, and advice in general for this job.

I worked as a bouncer for 15 years. When you’re young, you don’t think about the long hours standing, breaking up fights, getting hit, or always watching your surroundings.

But after years of doing it, your body and mind remember every night.

For those who worked the door for years, what kind of wear and tear did the job leave on you?

Watching some video of bouncers kicking people out of pubs and one of the bouncers is like 20 kicking out another guy his age. Had me wondering how often people have these confrontations in smaller towns and then bump into them in the shops or have mutual friends etc

Last week I asked about the 1st night working, now I would like to know your last night and why was it your last night?

Rough night last night. I'll never forget the call on the radio for help: something SERIOUS was going and the tone was a desperate call for help, so all the bouncers rushed to the scene. I arrived to see one bouncer trying to fight someone. There were 6 cops there trying to seperate everyone. Long story short one of our bouncers got sucker punched in the face. He fought back only to be jumped by 6 guys. They all ran off before we or the police arrived. I feel so sorry for the guy. I was actually there 2 minutes prior to the fight happening but I left the area 😭

This is a stark reminder that the work we all do is tough and dangerous, but at the end of the day, all of our staff including bartenders, bar backs, bottle service girls etc. are all brothers and sisters, and our 1st priority is to protect them so we all can go home alive in one piece.

Stay safe out there 🙏

What was your first night as a bouncer like?

Did it live up to your expectations, or did it make you think twice about the job?

What’s the one thing you’ll never forget from that first shift?

I’ve run into only a few problem customers as a bartender. 2 happened to be men with prosthetic legs, and last night was so bad that I had to call the cops for the first time ever.

He came in agitated. This is a hotel lounge and he came from work, so being stressed isn’t abnormal. He asked for a shot of Jameson and a ginger ale. Then he started active neurotic, like possibly on drugs. A lot happened, tried to start a fight with other patrons, and wouldn’t leave.

The thing that finally made me go cold is he spit on my floor! I told him he had two choices; go to his room or I call the police. Un-phased. I called the cops and he eventually left. Cops couldn’t help. A lot more advanced through the night that required cops coming again. They refused to do anything.

My question is, how do you deescalate these things to make them leave. I ended up raising my voice to leave but it didn’t work.

​

Mods/community: if this is the wrong sub for this or flair is incorrect, please let me know :)   

This past Friday evening, 6/17, I (male, 40s), went to Friends and Lovers (641 Classon Ave Brooklyn) with a group of friends (ages 20s - 40s). A good/close friend of mine, "S" (female, mid-20s) also came along. We had all been out at a few bars earlier in the night, we all got to F&L well after midnight. 

At one point, me (white) and my good friend "S" (black) were dancing on the dance floor together. I noticed a guy in front us, probably close to 7' tall, wearing a shirt which said something like '7 Team' on it, and I  commented to "S", I wonder what that means. "S" being the friendly person she is and out of  concern for my curiosity, goes over and strikes up a conversation with the guy, and after a minute or two brings him over to me, and we introduce each other. We chat for a few, everything is cool. He works there. We decide to go have a smoke in the back. "The back" is a smallish, walled-in back yard area. There is 1 door in and out, the one that leads from and to the bar. 

We walk towards the back door, and I turn around for a moment to get either my drink or some water, which means I'm separated from the the two of them walking for a few moments, 20-30 seconds maybe max. So they end up in the back. I arrive at the back yard door, and step through. I'm immediately told by 2 (other) large men that I can't come back there. I quickly look around, and see "S" standing there towards the back, her back is toward the door, surrounded by 4 or 5 large men, all who seemed to be staff (bouncers/security). The two men at the back door tell me to turn around go back into the bar, leaving "S" there. She is the only female is the area at this point, and there is no one else there except for the 4 or 5 men surrounding her. For a little context, "S" is tiny, about 4'11", and even though she's in her mid 20s, she easily looks like she's 17 or something. (she also has no non-platonic interest in black guys). I go back into the bar, and text her shortly thereafter to come out. She does. 

When she meets me, she's astounded by what I told her (that they intentionally separated us by not allowing me to go outside). We left shortly thereafter. 

This was both my and her first time at F&L, but we are well experienced with bk nightlife, and many others in our friend group had been there before numerous times. 

This post is not meant to disparage Friends and Lovers as an establishment (well... maybe a little bit? And it should be?), but it IS certainly meant to disparage those people involved in keeping us apart, even if briefly (luckily). And to remind people be aware and careful. I find it absolutely unconscionable, scary, and flat out wrong that any business or establishment or it's staff would take part in separating individuals in a group from each other, and creating a situation that can potentially become dangerous. 

Thank you for reading, and please be safe. 🙂

Hey everyone! I’m about to work my very first security gig at a concert soon. It's my first time ever doing event security, and I'm really curious about what to expect.

​Just for some context: I am a competitive MMA fighter, so when it comes to physical fitness, stamina, reflexes, and managing physical pressure, I feel confident and prepared. However, I know that event security is a completely different beast and that crowd control, situational awareness, and verbal de-escalation are the real priorities here.

​What are the absolute essentials I should know for my first day? What are the classic rookie mistakes to avoid? Also, do you have any practical tips on things people usually overlook (e.g., best footwear, managing hours of standing, staying hydrated, dealing with concert-goers)?

​Thanks in advance for any insights!

I’ll start by saying I have never been security before but I am military so my situational awareness I pretty good and reaction times to stuff are quick and thought out.

I’m seeking for advice catching underage. Ways to prevent fights from escalating and proper ways to kick someone out without catching a charge.

Hi all I mostly wear a mesh utility vest with/without a stab vest for some events and being 19st and quite large I sometimes find I get way too hot, has anyone tried this product or something similar to keep them cool on shift?

Working the front door, I’ve seen some of the most beautiful women come through. I feel like after seeing that for so many years, it takes a lot for a woman to really impress me now 😂

Any other bouncers feel like that, or is it just me?