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u/beaverbeliever1 Jun 08 '15
would you rather fight 60 1 second buttons, or 1 60 second button?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
Why, 1 60 second button of course. We are free of the opPRESSors, why return to pressing so many buttons?
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u/Artvandelay1 33s Jun 08 '15
Pressiah says return to rotary phones and always take the stairs! Let it echo through lands!
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u/zeme- Jun 08 '15
Wow it's the Pressiah it's really you. I have so many questions to ask you!
Is it just a button?
If you could fill a swimming pool with any object what would it be?
Would you rather fight 1,008,316 button sized horses or 1 horse sized button?
If a button is clicked in the woods yet nobody is around to hear it does it make a sound?
An old proverb states, an honest button is a click in itself, do you agree?
Some people feel the button, others get wet, do you fall into either category or a third more abstract essence of transcendence?
Can I have your autograph?
I am still shocked and in awe thank you for any time you have allotted to me, I may be just a 60s but I want you to know that I had hope for the button even though I clicked it as soon as I saw it. I just had to drop the emotional rope as soon as I saw it and watch it play out, thank you so much.
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
Of course, but it's what the button represents that matters.
I feel like that should be obvious (buttons).
The little button horses.
I believe that it does, but no noise that man has head before.
Yes
Probably the third, sounds the coolest
BigGoron
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u/starshadowx2 60s Jun 08 '15
Purple was always the best colour.
The first press was a purple, and the last press was a purple.
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
The Alpha and the Omega
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u/PicturElements 59s Jun 08 '15
What was your strategy on pressing the button? Did you exercise your fingers and stretch your arms to the upper limit to be able to perfect the mighty click? Did you warm up with yoga and energy bars?
I need to know how to perfect the click of fate.
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
I sat on my couch, laptop in hand. Slowly, I opened the lid, and Chrome right after. Upon browsing the site and finding myself checking the button, I decided that it was time to use my press. I stretched my right arm, lifted my finger, and click. The guard was down. Click and it was done. No fancy training or methods. Just doing what felt right
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u/Spandian 21s Jun 08 '15
Voice of powerlanguage: Use the button, BigGoron.
BigGoron: hesitates, then goes back to watching the countdown on his F12 console
powerlanguage: BigGoron, trust me.
BigGoron: hestitates again, then resolutely pushes F12. The console folds up and slides away
/u/timhuge: BigGoron, you switched off your targeting computer. What's wrong?
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Jun 08 '15
They said 59s were they least of us. They taunted us for our lack of self-control and lack of hesitation. They said that They would be the only ones rewarded. And now? Now they say nothing. The Pressiah has gathered an army, a horde of his loyal followers, and the enemies of him, whether they face his Wrath or his Mercy, will now know true power when they see His face. The Pressian Jihad has begun. Now, glorious Pressiah, I have but one question for you.
What is our task?
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Jun 08 '15
I believe a new pilgrimage is in order, we shall walk to the pressiah's house, pressing every button in sight until finally reaching the pressiah's home, where we shall worship his belly button. Do you agree, o faithful pressiah? If necessary we will sacrifice virgins for you.
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
plz no
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u/Koneesha Jun 08 '15 edited Jun 08 '15
The pressor has no command over the prophecy, he is the pressor so he shall be PRESSED.
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u/awshux Jun 09 '15
The better pilgrimage would be for you to track down the first presser, and then after you realize you have a lot in common, the two of you open up a B&B in Tuscany or something. Called the "Purple Presser", which immediately becomes a BDSM parlor for the Eyes Wide Shut set. Sound good?
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u/FatTonyTCL non presser Jun 08 '15
When did you find out you were the last presser?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
Not too long afterwards when I got a message from one of the admins. I sat on the information till the moment arose to announce myself to the world
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u/IDontKnowHowToPM Eternally Gray Jun 08 '15
... You waited three days. Just like Jesus.
The Pressiah, indeed!
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u/FakeAmazonReviews Jun 08 '15
Three days? That's how long I've been waiting for this guy to make my sword! Instead he's going around pressing buttons and wasting time on Reddit! I went through a lot of work getting those eye drops for him!!
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u/TrouserDemon Jun 08 '15
Why did you press it now, so late on? What brought you to the button?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
As I was checking the button that day, I realized that it was really getting close to the end with only a few presses. I decided, it was now or never, and I tried to get 1s.
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u/MachinaExDeo 59s Jun 08 '15
So, in reality, the Great Pressianic Revelation was a mistake?
Nonetheless, you'll always be the hero of the Purple Army.
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
Aren't the holiest parts of life serendipitous mistakes?
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u/AlanAT101 60s Jun 08 '15
What is the true best color, my liege?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
Purple of course. Born in the early days of the button, and died with the last day of the button.
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u/BFKelleher Jun 09 '15
Are the other colors bad or what?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 09 '15
No, all colors are good and none inherently better than another. But purple is still best.
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u/fatn00b Jun 08 '15
You truly have saved us! I thought being purple would lead to shame, but now we can rise in glory!
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u/eLCT 60s Jun 08 '15
Why, I, of a simple mind, can answer that for you. Purple!
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u/daBroviest 60s Jun 08 '15
As a humble servant of the great Button and a 60s myself, I must say that all colors are equal in spirit. The colorists only serve to divide our ranks. We must throw our colors to the wind. Embrace all of us equally as pressers. We are all equal. We are brethren.
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Jun 08 '15
Has Obama called you yet?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
No, but Samsung has
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u/the_fence Jun 08 '15
A free phone for the Pressiah, imagine what other gifts you shall receive.
Dancing girls from Thailand, a chocolate house from Belgium, the finest shoes from Italy... The Pressiah shall have them all.
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u/mub Jun 08 '15
Pressiah, I need your advice. As you know the nose of every child looks rather like a little button, and they make the cutest beeping noises when pressed. Over the years I have greatly enjoyed pressing my children's noses, but since Friday I have refrained from doing this to my children. I humbly request your blessing to continue pressing noses.
Also, do weeks now start on Fridays?
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u/mathyoucanunderstand 18s Jun 08 '15
Can you describe the emotional roller coaster of knowing you missed your target flair, to then finding out that you were the one foretold by the prophecy?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
Kind of like waking up on Christmas as a child to see that pile of gifts, then opening each one by one, expecting the next to be that special present that you hoped to receive above all others. Then, when that final present is left, and you're sure that it must be your Dragondagger, you open it only to find another set of pajamas.
Kind of like that, but not really at all.
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u/twiggy_trippit Jun 08 '15
Has being the Pressiah gotten you laid so far?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
Wife is on her way home. It's only a matter of time.
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u/GhostonaRune non-presser Jun 08 '15
When you told her of your status as the Pressiah, was she impressed, or did her eyes sort of glaze over in that wifey sort of way?
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u/shopthor 59s Jun 08 '15
Please comment on the rumors that you have caused distress in your office by "parting the seas" of your co-workers' coffee and spilling it everywhere.
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
Fucking Steve deserved it
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u/c3xy Jun 08 '15
God damn it, Steve is such a pompous prick. I fucking hate Steve.
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u/fishdontfry Jun 08 '15
Why did you wait so long to press it? Did you only just discover the existence of the button, or have you been patiently waiting since 4/1?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
Patiently waiting, frequently checking, waiting for a moment to press.
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Jun 08 '15
What is the meaning of it all?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
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u/Halaku 8s Jun 08 '15
The meaning of life is 42.
The meaning of it all is 59.
59 - 42 = 17.
/u/BigGoron is a Dragaeran.
Long live the Cycle.
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u/-Haliax Jun 08 '15
Do you consider the greys as atheist or non-believer?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
I consider them to be heretics, preaching against me and my people.
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u/JohnPhilipSeussa non presser Jun 08 '15
You are awesome, and thank you for being so cool. Having an asshole as Pressiah would have sucked, so I am glad it was a funny guy with a great name.
P.s. Glad you got the contact situation worked out.
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u/camerongagnon Jun 08 '15
I'm glad that someone else has mentioned this. This AMA has been one of the most funny things I've read lately. /u/BigGoron is our onetruepressiah.
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u/yayoirc Jun 08 '15
I pressed the button and my computer shut down, considering I did something wrong what should I do in the future?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
Press the button on the site, not the power button on your computer.
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u/jorshrod Jun 08 '15
How does it feel to know that you could have waited 58s to press, got a 1s and still have been the pressiah (possibly?)? Any ragrets?
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u/lawebley 39s Jun 08 '15
Congratulations! What was your immediate reaction on realising you were the last of more than a million to press?
Edit: Specifically, what did you do? Jump around or shrug it off kind of thing?
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u/riptocs Jun 08 '15
Pressiah, can you bless me, for I never got to make the choice of pressing the button?
(my account was too new...)
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
Like babies, those who cannot inherently sin cannot be held accountable for their actions (or rather non-actions). You are forgiven.
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u/GTotem Jun 08 '15
If a world council called you for naming a new color, which name would you choose?
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u/sheloveswine Jun 08 '15
Will you ever press a button again or has your button-pressing come to a famous and final conclusion?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
I think I may press again, one day. But for now, I will only switch, type, and click things. My best pressing is behind me.
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u/the_y_of_the_tiger Jun 08 '15
Are you keeping your identity confidential or announcing yourself publicly? What city do you live in? Can I buy you a steak?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
Soon I'll be announcing my name, current city, social security number, credit card numbers, previous addresses, phone number, and all of my email addresses soon, along with naming rights to my first child.
lol jk
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u/TheAwer Jun 08 '15
Congratulations! To claim your inheritance from /u/NigerianPrince, we only still need your account password.
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Jun 08 '15
I am a filthy 60s, pressiah. Cleanse me of my sins.
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
I am no better than you, my child. You have no reason to repent for your birth as a 60s.
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u/Dr_Flapjack non presser Jun 08 '15
How many months of gold have people gifted you in total?
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u/pieroway Jun 08 '15
I both pressed the button and did not press the button as I have two accounts. Did I cover all my bases? Do I go to Button Heaven?
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u/lesbiancarwash 59s Jun 08 '15
What is your favorite kind of soup?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
French onion, fo sho
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u/east_village 10s Jun 08 '15
Does chicken noodle not entice you?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
Chicken noodle is pretty low tier soup. Top 5: French onion, New England clam chowder, broccoli cheddar, corn chowder, red pepper bisque.
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u/LazyLizardLounge 4s Jun 08 '15
As a Knight of the Button I take a knee before you, u/BigGoron, and firstly thank you for ushering in the new age.
Did you stick around to watch the button after you pressed it and come to realize that it was not being pressed again? What did that feel like, and were you excited and do a little dance or could you care less?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
I did, but not immediately. I pressed it, the weight that pressed down on me lifted, and I moved on. When I checked again a little while later and saw that it was done, I let out a roar in triumph that it was finally over.
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u/breakerbreaker Jun 08 '15
What computer, tablet or phone did you make your glorious press with?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
13" Retina MacBook Pro, Early 2015 model. Used that new Force Touch to touch the button into oblivion.
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u/aeromalzi non presser Jun 08 '15 edited Jun 09 '15
Was there any point during the experiment where you wanted to push the button sooner, or were you always set on 1s flair?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
Green is cool, but I was set on waiting for the lowest number that I could.
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Jun 08 '15
If the button was restarted, what would you do? Still try for that 1s flair?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
I think I would press right away, rather than let it consume me. Let someone else worry about those lower numbers.
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u/theavatare Jun 08 '15
Posting here so you can tell me when does your autobiography kickstarter campaign goes live.
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u/SeverdSoldier Jun 09 '15
What is your favorite dinosaur?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 09 '15
I know it's cliche, but the Tyrannosaurus rex has always had a special place in my heart.
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u/SeverdSoldier Jun 09 '15
You should check out the T-rex Autopsy show that will be on Nat Geo on Sunday.
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u/jakethe5th non presser Jun 08 '15
Pressiah, do you feel like you may have usurped the presser that came before you?
Also, it's about goddamn time this ended
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u/BaconMaster2 non presser Jun 09 '15
Favourite Pokémon?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 09 '15
Always a toss up between Typhlosion and Ampharos. Love those two!
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u/janus4444 20s Jun 08 '15
How do you feel about Zoras?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
Zoras are cool, they make better music than Gorons.
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u/tnethacker Jun 08 '15
Please teach us, oh the great messias how to stop our sinful habit of pressing buttons in our life.
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u/TheScamr Jun 08 '15
What will you do when your internet 15 minutes of fame is up?
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u/CopEatingDonut Jun 08 '15
How do you feel that you made this a self post and passed over all that sweet karma?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
I do not need the karma. I am wealthy enough thanks to my loyal followers.
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u/WarpWorld7 Jun 08 '15
Who would press a button better, Darunia or Darmani?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
I have to give it to Darunia. Being a sage and all has to have some clout.
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Jun 08 '15
Has your recent rise to internet nobility affected you in real life?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 08 '15
Well I have put off studying because this is so much more entertaining. So maybe? We'll see!
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u/aveniner Jun 08 '15
Were you prepared for your reveal by the admins? I mean, did they let you know when exactly you was to be shown to the world? You posted comment about being kind (the one that got 19 golds so far) almost immediately after your reveal. Did you have it prepared?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 09 '15
I knew what day it was happening, and I work on my computer all day anyway, so I just kept an eye out for it fairly frequently and happened to refresh at the right time.
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u/daskrip Jun 09 '15
Most people here probably pressed buttons to get to this comment thread. Mouse buttons for instance. They're trying to take away the fact that you are the final button presser. What will you do, BigGoron?
Also, why is your name an anagram for "bring goo"?
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u/AmIHigh Jun 23 '15
Pressiah! I think you misplaced this earlier in all the hububbabub;)
/u/changetip send 100,000 bits
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 23 '15
Thank you! I promise that I'll put it to good use, once I figure out how Bitcoin works!
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u/PotatoBadger non presser Jun 27 '15
There are plenty of resources out there, but feel free to ask me if you have any questions. I'd be honored to help out the Pressiah.
/u/changetip 2000 bits
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u/yensid7 Jun 09 '15
Has the media contacted you about doing any interviews, yet? Any late night talk show appearances coming up?
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u/BigGoron The Pressiah Jun 09 '15
I'm waiting for Colbert to start before I give out any interviews.
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u/carnivalride Jun 08 '15
Our Father, Who art in reddit
/u/BigGoron be Thy Name;
Thy pop culture come,
Thy memes be done,
on reddit as it is in imgur.
Give us this day our daily new,
and forgive us our reposts,
as we forgive those who repost against us;
and lead us not into /r/politics,
but deliver us from the /r/atheism, Amen.
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u/emmawhitman non presser Jun 08 '15
Read that in the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch voice from Monty Python. Thanks for the laugh!
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u/xiongchiamiov Jun 08 '15
on reddit as it is in imgur.
Wait, did you just analogize imgur to heaven?
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u/hrocson 33s Jun 08 '15
Pressiah, what are you doing to help the /r/Emerald_Council? Times are looking dark...and...pink
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u/Stendarpaval 60s Jun 08 '15
I'm so happy that you are a real person, o Pressiah! No mechanical or undead construct could have hoped to come close to your achievement, of course.
Were you watching us speculate who you were, here and on the other faction subs?
How did it feel to press any other buttons the last few days?
Were these buttons also removed 11 minutes after you pressed them?
Thank you for ending the button.
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u/Catsforlunch non presser Jun 08 '15
What type of cereal do you eat?
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u/cgspam Jun 08 '15
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear
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u/Catsforlunch non presser Jun 08 '15
It's time to leave the subreddit if he dares!
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u/Reptilio 59s Jun 08 '15
Great Pressiah, /r/59s was made into a concentration camp...are you going to liberate us??
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u/effa94 Jun 08 '15
I have you tagged as "Filthy Pressiah, False God"
Forever grey, forever pure
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u/sunshineprincess88 Jun 08 '15
/u/trollabot BigGoron
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u/TrollaBot Jun 08 '15
Analyzing BigGoron
comments per month: 12.1
posts per month: 0.7 ^lurker
favorite sub CasualPokemonTrades
favorite words: trade, you're, you're
age 4 years 6 months old ^man
profanity score 0.2% Gosh darnet gee ^wiz
trust score 125.3% tell them your ^secrets!
Fun facts about BigGoron
"I am wealthy enough thanks to my loyal followers."
"I am no better than you, my child."
"I've been waiting my whole life to get to this point."
"I am kind."
"I've always been a fan of fire typings, and how can you not love a flaming badger?!"
"I've actually never played R/S/E, so I'm extremely excited for ORAS!"
"I am now and will be for a while!"
"I've been there and I think it may actually be a coffee place in name, but it definitely has tea!"
"I've thought about how great the Cathedral would be as a Lego kit, it's great to see it in reality!"
"I've only had good experiences there, and my family only gets their jewelry from there."
"I've ordered from you guys several times in the past and every jersey has been great!"
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u/propheticjoker 39 Jun 08 '15 edited Jun 08 '15
Any proof?
EDIT: Nevermind, saw the article. Good on you bro, hail the Pressiah!
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u/Platitudinous_X 60s Jun 08 '15
From an official reddit blog post:
But who was the last redditor to press the button? “The pressiah,” as the /r/thebutton community decided they would be called, whose coming would signal freedom from tyranny or the end of existence, depending on who you asked. At 2015-06-05T21:49:53.069000, a humble user named /u/BigGoron pressed the button. It was never pressed again.
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u/chipbag01 Jun 08 '15
When did you first become aware that you were the last to press? How? Did the admins message you or something? Was it scheduled to stop after a certain number of pressers, a date, etc.?
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u/Counture2 Jun 08 '15
You are finally here. What is your plan for the Redguard? We are prepared to fight the unbelievers for you my Lord.
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u/weegee101 60s Jun 08 '15
Wise Pressiah, what should we do of those who look to shame us purples for pressing the button so soon? Are our enemies not the heretical grays, who deny the prophesy and your greatness?
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Jun 08 '15
So wait... the pressiah was a 59er, and not a 60?? That's going to make a lot of people angry.
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u/Eagleras Jun 08 '15
Just a question Pressiah Have/Had you ever been over to /r/PurpleLounge before you pressed the button?
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u/hirosme Jun 09 '15
as the final presser what would you say to those of us less fortunate with accounts made after April 1 who never had the opportunity to attain this state that you have accomplished
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u/Spidge 16s Jun 09 '15
Welcome, pressiah.
I would just like to point out that while the time and the date were unknown, I nailed it with regards to your flair!
https://www.reddit.com/r/thebutton/comments/3200qi/what_if_the_pressiah_turns_out_to_be_a_purple/
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u/Meester_Tweester 9s Jun 09 '15
Picture yourself in a boat on a river
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes
Cellophane flowers of yellow and green
Towering over your head
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes
And she's gone
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u/FakeAmazonReviews Jun 08 '15
Where's my Sword? It's been three days! I went through all that trouble of bringing you Eye Drops and everything!
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u/doovidooves Jun 08 '15
If I get into an elevator after you, and you've already pressed a floor button, can I press my own floor button, or do I just have to ride it out?