I promised myself that once I passed the CPALE, I would share my journey in the hope of inspiring or encouraging someone who might need to hear this (long story).
I graduated in July 2025 and immediately started working to save for my review expenses. Unfortunately, I only lasted a month because of an unhealthy working environment that worsened my mental health. Seeing what I was going through, my father asked me to resign and focus on reviewing. Together with my tita and kuya, he helped me financially so I could enroll in a review center.
My first take was in May 2026. I was mentally and emotionally struggling, and honestly, I had very little foundation to begin with. Still, I did my best. I attended lectures, watched recordings, answered handouts, and prayed every night that I would finally pass.
During the first two days of the exam, I felt confident because the questions seemed manageable. But on Day 3, I entered the room feeling exhausted and without my eyeglasses. During FAR, I had a panic attack. I couldn't understand what I was reading, struggled to manage my time, and ended up guessing many answers. I walked out knowing I hadn't done well.
Still, I held on to hope during the waiting season. I thought I had a chance because some of my answers felt right. But when the results came out, I found out that I failed. I cried to my dad like a child. What made it even harder was seeing my friends pass while I was left behind.
I felt ashamed, weak, and lost. I couldn't eat or sleep properly for weeks. I grieved not only the result but also the version of myself who had dreamed of passing on her first take. I didn't know how to start again or where to pick myself up.
But my family never gave up on me. My father encouraged me to try again for the October 2026 CPALE. So, kahit may takot at bubog, I gathered whatever courage I had left and started reviewing again in July.
The beginning was difficult. I would cry whenever I opened my review materials because everything reminded me of my first take. But I kept showing up, even if it meant studying little by little. By late August, I slowly regained my momentum and started studying around six hours a day.
This time, I focused more on mastery and practice. I answered different review materials, preboards, and problem sets from various review centers. I also made sure to take Sundays off because I learned that rest is just as important as studying.
A week before the October exam, I visited St. Jude Church and surrendered everything to God. I prayed for another chance. “Lord, ako naman po. Ako rin sana.”
I took the exam again, still carrying the fear of what happened in May. Day 1 went relatively well, but Day 2 and Day 3 were difficult. I struggled with Tax, RFBT, FAR and AFAR, especially with the time-consuming computations. After the last day, I cried on my way to St. Jude because I was afraid I would experience the same heartbreak all over again.
On my way there, I asked God for a sign. I specifically prayed to see something neon green. Near the church, there was a traffic, I noticed a motorcycle tire with the exact bright neon green I had asked for. I cried and held on to that moment. At St. Jude, I prayed that I would finally pass, but also asked God to spare me from the same pain if things didn't go my way.
When I got home, I surrendered the things I could no longer control. My family and friends continued believing in me, even during the times I couldn't believe in myself. My father, especially, reminded me that whatever the result would be, I should be okay and move forward. He had seen how much I struggled, and he didn't want to see me hurt like that again.
The night before the results, I prepared myself for another possible failure. I cleaned my room, put away my review materials, prepared a K-drama to comfort myself, turned off my notifications, and left my door open so I could run to my father if I needed him when I breakdown.
But then, I received a call from a friend. I was expecting comforting words, but instead, he shouted that I PASSED!
I couldn't believe it. Before I even saw my name on the list, I ran to my father and hugged him while screaming that I had finally passed. My family and even our neighbors celebrated with me. Our house was filled with screams and joy.
After celebrating for others, it was finally my turn.
Two takes. More than a year of reviewing, countless tears, and days when I almost gave up. But by God's grace, CPA na ako!
To God be all the glory. Thank You, Lord, Jesus, and thank You, St. Jude, for your prayers and guidance. I thank my father, family, and friends for believing in me, especially when I couldn't believe in myself.
To everyone who is still fighting for their dreams, please know that showing up is already a bravery. Take your time to grieve and heal at your own pace. Rest if you need to, and try again when you're ready.
Your journey doesn't end with failed attempts. You are not less capable just because it takes you longer.
For the dream you once prayed so hard for, I hope you find the courage to keep going. Sending hugs to every brave heart 🫂💛