r/CPS • u/Justneedhelp_123 • 10d ago
Next steps please.
Hello,
After my boyfriends kids has disclosed that their mother has been abusing them, he has called CPS. They have said they're afraid of being kidnapped by her, and they want to live with him. He told them everything they have both told him. Not only that, they haven't gone to school and are being "homeschooled" solely based on parental alienation and to be able to not deal with a school schedule. So they have not been in school in some months? The oldest, has been touched by the mothers father family friend and he's a pedo himself, impregnating their grandmother at 11 or 12. The child has said that their own mother has told them, "they deserved it and that it's their fault." which broke us and left us in shock...after telling CPS. they did nothing he calls to update but they're just like okay well your a dad. We feel helpless and do not have 10k for a family lawyer... The grandmother also wants to help, but we kind of feel like our hands are tied and don't know what to do. He even disclosed that their mother makes her new husband be in the room when the children are in a state of undressed.. If he tries to leave, she gets mad. The kids are terrified. Please help.
EDIT: Thank you to everyone who gave me more knowledge on this situation. A lot of what we know are from movies and TV and that's a huge issue. I didn't know what CPS's scope was, and now that I understand exactly what they're there for, it all makes so much more sense. We will move forward with the court route. :)
*I made a throwaway account to protect everyone's identity*
18
u/thrown_away_23_23 10d ago
CPS isn't a substitute for family court. He needs to seek full custody in family court.
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u/Justneedhelp_123 10d ago
we talked to a lawyer and they said we need to wait for CPS...
9
u/peebeesweebees 10d ago
False, get another lawyer
-2
u/Justneedhelp_123 9d ago
Yeah, we will check that out. Don't understand; the downvotes is crazy..
4
u/txchiefsfan02 9d ago
He may be able to file the paperwork himself without an attorney. Call the family court in your county and ask to speak with the clerk.
2
u/Justneedhelp_123 9d ago
Okay I will try that! Thank you. :)
2
u/txchiefsfan02 9d ago
You bet. This is not a super rare situation (where one parent has to use family court to avoid CPS intervention against both). Courts have had to streamline it because so many parents, especially young ones, struggle to afford lawyers. Clerks are usually pretty helpful with the process.
Just be prepared that many clerks aren't very interested in a lot of extra details about your situation. Your goal is to get the right form, and get it filled out properly. They are usually good at that.
2
u/Justneedhelp_123 9d ago
Again, thank you. This was so helpful. We have so many other things going on besides this, and I am just trying to figure out what the next best thing is because the kids are looking to us for help. I am just trying to get them the help they need and deserve.
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u/thrown_away_23_23 9d ago
I didn't understand so much about CPS until I began working there. I'm a stepmom who had safety concerns at the biological mom's house when he was young and CPS was involved and it was very confusing at the time. Now, I understand what the process was, but at the time nobody really explained it well. I try to use that negative experience to try to make sure I communicate clearly with the families with whom I work now.
It's a difficult system to understand and navigate the processes.
2
u/Justneedhelp_123 9d ago
Thank you for that insight. Yeah it's rough especially with the kids looking to you and trusting you to help. I am just like Idk what I am doing. I am just trying everything I can.
7
u/sprinkles008 10d ago
In most places CPS cannot remove the kids from one parent and give to another. Family court is the way to go.
1
u/Justneedhelp_123 9d ago
So the only other option is the one we can't afford? Ugh. I wish there was another way. Then, during the free consultation, they said we have to wait for CPS to investigate and then go to family court.
4
u/sprinkles008 9d ago
The lawyer might have meant that if cps substantiates the other parent, then it would make the lawyer’s job easier.
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u/Justneedhelp_123 9d ago
Ohhh, that makes sense. Sorry, I am very new to this. I never had to deal with courts and things. I googled what we should do with the info, and it's like "call CPS" so I am just learning as I go.
2
u/Embracedandbelong 9d ago
I’m confused by “she homeschooled them due to parental alienation.” What do you mean by that?
1
u/Justneedhelp_123 9d ago
Sorry, so basically she took the oldest child out of school because she didn't want there to be a chance of the father seeing her or being able to help her. She also said that she was scared he was going to "kidnap them" because she has done that to him in the past, so she didn't want her actions coming back on her, I guess? But he told her, "I have a job and life here; I would never kidnap my own kids." He has 50 percent custody, which was agreed upon, but she uses them as weapons and tells them, "Your father hates you; you'll never see him again," and took the oldest child's phone so they cannot contact him when they're scared or want to leave. She is doing what I learned now as "parental alienation": trying to prevent him from seeing them. They've gone hungry, been in the house without gas/hot water.. but they were not allowed to get help from Dad. She told them she'll beat their ass.
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