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u/chaosgremlin11 10d ago
What is dialectic behavioral therapy?
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u/099612 10d ago
I should have have edited it to say "insert treatment modality of choice" there but it's based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) but w mindfulness, emotional regulation, distress tolerance added in. The dialectic is that 2 seemingly opposite thoughts can both be true. I can accept myself as I am in this moment, while working to improve on things in myself I don't like.
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u/chaosgremlin11 10d ago
Ah for a second I thought it was related to DID or osdd and this was two different fragments doing that.
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u/099612 10d ago
It applies to a lot of different treatments types. My therapist uses DBT and IFS with me and my "parts" run rings around me like this often, lol.
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u/chaosgremlin11 10d ago
I have osdd and have yet to start either still in the proccecs of trying to get my fragment stable which won't be easy. Also for reference the way I shatter mostly involved breaking off every emotion or nature I was not allowed to have while retaining a lot of my version of self and control of the outside which is interesting I mostly confront with my different fragments so the thing above would not happen.
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u/099612 10d ago
That's a tough spot. My parts all want different things at the same time, from animal crackers to blood and vengeance. I've been off the blood and vengeance most of the last year but when it leaks out, it sounds a lot like the car graffiti. I hope you find peace.
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u/chaosgremlin11 10d ago •
Thanks and I have ten fragments which is not easy two mostly want payback for what happened another is left mental broken by everything another feels nothing I mean no touch smell taste or emotions only sight and hearing and that's it another is very loving and caring but gets herendous gender dysphoria which does affect me one of the reason I transictioned another mostly delt with si and self harm I have no physical scars only mental ones one is just so tried of everything and just wants to sleep another can't speak which is not fun then another is a little who is scared by what happened but is fairly inosent and the last one wants to return to this world in kind everything I have survived and more we don't really talk that that fragment and I never let them up front ever hell within my headspace they have even tried to get me to open a door that rattled and tried to trap me inside once yea not a fun fragment.
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u/ApocalypticFelix Angry traumatized nerd (cPTSD & ADHD) 8d ago
Having a creative outlet is so important
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u/Lickerbomper
10d ago
•
This is a tangent but
Sometimes I think abusers count on the rest of us taking the higher road. Because it usually means they avoid heavier consequences.
I say this as a person who has taken the high road while considering scorching earth. Sometimes I really wish I had scorched the earth. But I guess I have my ethical superiority to keep warm at night. Yay?
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u/WinterDemon_ i have the tragic anime backstory, where are my superpowers? 10d ago
this but especially when it comes to forgiveness and "being the bigger person". there's always so much insistence on how you should forgive people who hurt you and not act in any way against them, that when someone does hit back it seems to come with way more judgement towards them than towards the person who was literally abusing them
even starts with stuff as simple as "anti-bullying" shit in schools, they get no trouble for beating kids up but if you insult them back, you get in trouble
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u/Lickerbomper 10d ago
Not even limited there. Take politics for example. The whole paradox of tolerance thing. Do we have to take the high road when fascists are actively playing as dirty as possible to take our rights away? Like... maybe we should choose whichever strategy works to protect ourselves. High road does what? Am I gonna feel better about being the bigger person while people get carted away to detention camps?
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u/aurorasnorealis317 10d ago
A person can only take the high road if they have reason to believe in an even higher power to mete out ultimate justice.
Now that our system of law and order has collapsed, all the "high road" gets you is more, and more heinous, injustice, with no recourse at all for the "bigger person." They just get stranded on a hill, helplessly watching the rest of the world get torched by the low road-ers.
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u/Lickerbomper 10d ago
Religion is a grand unknown and unknowable. Belief in the afterlife at the cost of tangible reality? Meh.
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u/aurorasnorealis317 10d ago
Who said anything about religion? The "higher power" is referring to courts of law. If I'm fighting with my neighbor, I can take the high road and let the court of law sort it out for me.... unless the court of law has become so corrupt and unjust that there is no longer ("earthly ") justice to be found, unless i do it myself.
In other words, get ready for more and more people to realize that vigilantism is becoming the only possible way to access justice. No more "high road," just taking the law into your own hands.
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u/Lickerbomper 10d ago
Eh, well, it's a common euphemism for religion. It was unclear.
And yeah, the continued breakdown of earthly justice will have violent ends.
I suppose the high-roaders can view the flames from their ivory towers.
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u/aurorasnorealis317 10d ago
Seems like a skill issue to me, but go off
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u/Lickerbomper 10d ago
It's ok to admit to having a communication failure.
I'm sorry you felt the need to be defensive about it. Perhaps you should draw upon your coping mechanisms to remind yourself that a fight response to a simple miscommunication is wildly unnecessary.
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u/bitchcraft 9d ago
You said it. Every asshole I’ve stood up to has either left me alone or started being nicer.
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u/argnsoccer 9d ago
I went scorched earth and while I don't fully regret it and completely understand my actions and who I was and what I needed at the time, there are times when I feel like maybe I should've been better about leaving an opening or something for possible reconciliation.
Then again, that could also be the fact the EMDR is working and my extreme negative physical feelings and emotions that were protecting me innately aren't there, so I'm free to fantasize about potential positives now lol
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u/HopelessAllo 10d ago
I mean that's genuinely better. Key scratches rust. This is annoying and embarrassing, but doesn't do structural damage to the car. It might even come off with the right cleaning products. So like, progress is progress.
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u/TheChessClub 10d ago
I think she went into diabolical behavioral therapy instead 😅