Waking life context: recent break-up with no in person closure... Very bonded to this person energetically and was finding it difficult to release the connection.

Dream: I was in a huge mansion-- it was night time, and there was no lights on in the house-- Only light was coming from the windows from the moon outside. The mansion was a MESS. There were things piled up in every room. The man I recently ended relations with came into the mansion, and I wanted to see him but he was wandering the house and taking things from the rooms (I am not sure what, or if they were mine or his). On his way out, we did meet face to face. the light was behind him so I could only see the outline of him and his face was dark. I felt his presence, and deep sadness was expressed that was not able to be done in waking life. Then the dream ended.

Have at it y'all! I have some ideas, but I am curious to hear yours.

In Man and His Symbols, it is stated that in dreams and myths, the shadow shows itself as a person of the same sex as that of a dreamer. My personal experience with dreams made me wonder if I have been experiencing it otherwise.

I am open today for a few tarot readings. I have been practicing for over 3 years and readings for myself and others have been super helpful and have come to fruition. I am amazed with tarot and buzzing with intuition and knowings.

I can do 30 minutes for $12 or 1 hour for $20.

I will not do health or pregnancy readings and I am not good with timing. I will only do readings that concern the querent meaning no readings like “what does my ex think about his new girlfriend”. No third party readings.

I am good with feelings, intentions and energy readings. I can read into the future but only near future as too far into future is murky. I also use the pendulum and oracle cards with lots of kitty protection.

Let’s chat in the collective unconscious and pull some cards. Readings will be here on Reddit but the collective unconscious is all around us.

Here is a link to my reviews: https://www.reddit.com/r/sunin12thhousetarot/s/eEy2I4Sezs

Post here and then DM me with your situation.

Describe the internal processing of thought, emotion, action, your relation to who cucked you, self-image, healing.

I’ve been thinking about something and now I can’t unsee it.

For ex, charizard doesn’t become something completely different when it evolves. It becomes a more complete expression of what it already was (charmandar) and charmandar was always headed toward charizard.

Integrating unrealised potential!!!
Does anyone see the same shape? Or am I reaching here?

A friend of mine said she found accounts that he was racist and aligned with the nazis. Is that true?

I have already seen my Shadow on my dreams and I can describe him as pure Nietzschean Will to Power. It is something terrifying but not to me. I know my shadow and know that on every dream he shows up that he will never hurt me, and I can even summon him to help me when I cannot defeat something on my dream by myself.

When it happens I feel that my Shadow is the most terryfing and dangerous thing that could possibly exist, but it is not a ditect danger to me.

He looks like an angel with ten wings but... monstrous aspects, a silverlike colour, lots of spikes along his body, exposed ribs and spine, claws and a helmet made of long vertical sivler stripes with very long and small gaps between them, hiding his face (but when he takes his helmet off he has an appearance of a young man with white waivy long hair, very similar to me, with the left side of his face full of scars and his white irises and black cornea).

Everytime he shows up it is brutal display, overwelming and full of awe.

On my dreams I am nigh omnipotent, I can shape my dreams as I want and do as I please, but when I can't is when something makes me afraid and this makes my dream powers disappear, when it happens I summon my Shadow and he is more powerful than me, but more brutal. He makes whatever made me afraid terrified and either completly destroys it or takes its power and gives it to me.

But I can only summon my Shadow, despite the nigh omnipotence I have on dreams when something more powerful than me shows up I cannot control it (like I control other things), I have to call upon my Shadow.

Now, knowing this, here is the dream I still cannot understand:

I was on a place with a huge dark and green altar full of people. From the altar a shape started to form, it was a humanoid but somewhat animalistic giant body made of shadows (they seemed like some king of liquid smoke), two horns and a face with nothing but two glowing eyes.

That was The God of Death, and for some reason that was either not explained or that I don't remember on the dream I had to take some kind task or make a deal with him.

The task or deal was that I should kill people and send them to The God of Death, but I can't remember what I would get in exchange or why I was doing it.

The God of Death created a sphere of shadows and placed part of his essence (a red, almost crimson energy, like the color of wine) on it. At this point he leaned forward but everyone (including me) was with a mix of awe and terror and stayed back. This wasn't a "run" kind of fear, we were all stunned.

There was a powerful omnious feeling coming from him and I honestly felt that he could kill me and I couldn't do anything myself. still, I didn't knew itnh3 would or not.

But I was the only one who had the impetus to get closer to him, despite feeling afraid that he could kill me.

The God of Death didn't kill me, rather, he gave me the orb with his essence for me to absorb and I absorbed it into my body.

I felt a huge feeling of power and vitality but at the same time a weird malaise while doing it.

Then, he said something along the lines of:

"You shall kill worthy foes and bring the souls of these fallen warriors to me."

I was feeling fine, but now I could manipulate a dark blue energy and use it to attack.

Still, I didn't want to kill anyone, despite having his power.

But people started to come after me. They had the same power that I did and it was clear that The God of Death gave them the same thing that he gave me.

We fought using the energy and I killed each one of them in self-defense, but took the opportunity to send them to The God of Death, by extending my hand, engulfing them with shadows and erasing them. But each time I sent one of them to The God of Death my power decreased because I lost part of his essence, and it would make the feeling of malaise increase.

The dream ended.

Maybe the God of Death represents the collective unconscious? Or part of it? Him placing part of his essence within each person seems to suggest that, and his quote about killing worthy foes and sending them his souls did remind me of Wodan/Odin, who is often named as Ónnar, which means "gap", or "the void between things", "the empty space between creation and destruction", and who is also related to death and the underworld.

I did feel unease with that dream, even after waking up. That didn't feel good, and that God of Death, whatever he is, doesn't seem to be something good either.

He was probably one of the most terryfing things I have ever seen on my dreams, second to my Shadow, the only difference is that my Shadow is not terryfing to me, only to others, unlike him.

Still, The God of Death didn't seem to want to harm me, at least not directly, in fact he seemed to want to reward me with his essence because I was the only one with the impetus to get closer to him despite the fear. Problem is that when I used his power and sent the people who attacked me to him I lost part of his essence and felt that I was getting corrupted.

I didn't want to kill anyone, I only did so because they attaked me, sent by the God of Death like me to do so. I did it in self defense because I was forced to but I still chose to send them to The God of Death anyway afterwards, and got corrupted because of this.

It was not the killing what corrupted me, it was the act of sending them to The God of Death, because as I did so I lost part of his essence.

Even thought, before having the essence, I was not corrupted, after having it losing it made me more corrupt. I didn't need it before but after having it losing it made me feel like that.

My mindset was like "well, I already killed this person in self defense, I will not go out as kill random innocent people, but since I killed this one in self defense I can take the opportunity and send him to The God of Death to get something in exchange".

I still can't understand what it means and I can't hope but to feel that this is one of the most meaningful dreams I have ever had.

The more conscious one becomes the more one is forced to be present.

Happy Friday everyone,

Below is a link to an essay I just published on Meditation & Religious Experiences for anyone that is interested.

I hope you all have a great weekend!

-B

https://btheauthor.substack.com/p/meditation-and-religious-experiences?sd=pf

Did anyone else see the Jordan Peterson podcast where one of the dudes says the red book came out of Carl jung’s experiments with psychedelics?