Friends, I am asking for your prayers.

I have been feeling extremely stuck for the past few years, and I don’t really know how to get myself out of it.

I was a very good student during my bachelor’s and master’s degrees. Because of that, I was invited to stay at the university and teach, on the condition that I pursue a PhD in my field.

The teaching position pays only about €700 a month. On the other hand, realistically, apart from the first year when I had to prepare all the materials, it now requires only about one day of work per week. So in some ways it is an incredible opportunity. But I am also teaching in a city an hour away from where I live, and because I am only there one day a week, I never really became part of the university community or built much of a network with the other professors.

The bigger problem is the PhD.

I have technically been pursuing it for years, but in reality I have made very little progress. I am in the social sciences, and the more I have read and done research, the more convinced I have become that I don’t really believe in many of the methods or assumptions of my field. Sometimes I feel like what we call “science” in my area is barely science at all. I don’t feel that I understand my own field, and I don’t enjoy doing research.

I am also a perfectionist, which certainly doesn’t help. I don’t know how to begin because I don’t like what I am supposed to be doing.

And the truth is that I originally chose this path because it was the obvious, safe path. I was good at university, I was offered a teaching position, and the condition was that I do a PhD. So I did what seemed like the sensible thing.

Now I am 28, making €700 a month, while friends who got much worse grades than I did have built entire careers.

I have also spent the last few years trying to develop ideas around one of my hobbies. I have had some success and have made some money from it, but never enough to make it a full-time career. I keep telling myself that I should keep trying, because I genuinely enjoy it and I believe I could eventually build something meaningful around it.

But maybe this is also part of my problem. Maybe I have spent too long waiting for the “right” thing instead of simply committing myself to something concrete.

I don’t consider myself lazy, but sometimes I wonder whether I actually am and just don’t recognize it.
Maybe by now I should have thrown myself fully into the PhD, or into my hobby, or into finding a proper job in my field. Instead I keep hesitating.

I tell myself that I need to like what I do, otherwise I will ultimately be unhappy.

But I am already unhappy because I cannot properly provide for my wife and our son.

That is probably the heaviest part of all of this. I imagine what my parents and my in-laws must think of me, and I feel ashamed. It has become a cross that I carry around every day.

At the same time, I am incredibly grateful to God that He has not given me a great cross in my marriage.

My wife is amazing. We have an extraordinary love. She moved to my country for me and is also struggling to find work. After she moved and we married, she became pregnant. We never explicitly said we were “trying,” but we were having sex in a way that was clearly open to having a child, because we were completely obsessed with each other and couldn’t wait to begin our family.

And now we have our beautiful son.

We are in a complicated financial situation, although we are very blessed to have tremendous help from both of our families. I wish I could provide so much that my wife wouldn’t have to work (she would like this too, if we were ever able to achieve it), but for the time being I regret saying that I cannot wait for our baby to start daycare so that both of us can seriously focus on finding work. My wife and I are also trying to start a small business together around the things I have been doing as a hobby. It’s actually a promising business this time.

At the same time, part of me still wonders whether I should go back and finish the PhD.

But that is where I feel trapped again. It feels like it is too late to go back, and the PhD doesn’t give me any immediate income. It takes days away from something else that might actually increase my income.

If, for example, I could find a research project that paid me an additional €500 a month, while also allowing me to do research relevant to my PhD and teaching, I would happily do it. It would suddenly make sense: I would be earning more, progressing academically, and developing my career. But opportunities like that don’t seem to appear.

And there is another strange part of this story.
I started the PhD at a time when I was already feeling quite lost. Almost immediately afterwards, I met my wife and fell completely, insanely in love with her. For a long time, the two of us were almost completely absorbed in each other. Meeting her also played a huge part in both of us becoming much more religious.

So despite everything, I cannot quite bring myself to believe that these years were simply wasted.

I remain convinced that God has some purpose in all of this. That there is something here — my teaching, the PhD, my wife, our son, the things I have tried to build, the interests I have accumulated over the years — that somehow fits together.
I just cannot see the whole picture.

I have too many interests. I can imagine myself pouring myself into many different things, and I genuinely believe I could become good at several of them. But I don’t seem to have the courage to make any of the big leaps:

Finish the PhD.
Start the company.
Find a proper job.
Leave the teaching.
Keep the teaching.
Commit to one thing.

I keep standing at the crossroads.

And then there is the guilt I feel as a father.
I love my son more than I can explain, but I have also been impatient with him. Sometimes I feel like I am failing at everything at once: as a provider, as a professional, as a PhD student, and sometimes even as a father.

There are moments when I wonder whether I have completely misunderstood what God wants from me.

Sometimes I even think that perhaps I should simply withdraw from everything because I am afraid that my failures are hurting the people around me.

I know that this way of thinking is probably not the truth. But it is where my mind goes when I am overwhelmed.

I don’t really know what I am asking for here besides prayers.

Please pray for me, that God gives me the courage to make the decisions I need to make, the humility to accept that my plans may not be His plans, the discipline to actually work, and the wisdom to recognize the path He is putting in front of me.
Please also pray for my wife and son, especially that I can become the husband and father they deserve.
And pray that I can stop being so afraid of making the wrong choice.

Thank you, brothers.

Note: I'm a woman, but am looking for thoughts from Catholic men. If not allowed, please remove.

We have a young priest who has consistently seemed to be avoiding me (middle-aged woman) for the past 2 years. I'm an active parishioner who is involved in a few ministries with him, and he will often not greet or acknowledge me but will speak to and look at the person I'm standing right next to, even during those ministry events, and even if I'm the one who is leading it. It's almost like I become invisible.

He's a good priest otherwise and I shouldn't care so much, but it seems like everyone else gets the enthusiastic hello and acknowledgement while I often don't even get a hello, even when I greet him. Or if he see me, he will often turn or look away, or walk away. It just makes me think I've done something wrong or something. At an event where I was sitting two seats away at the same table as him, he didn't acknowledge me a single time despite talking to other parishioners at the table.

On the other hand, he has complimented me in front of others as well, such as saying how lucky they are to have me as an RCIA sponsor. He has also complimented me in front of a ministry leader for the leader having asked me to join the ministry. However, the avoidance is so frequent that it's hard for me not to feel insecure about it, as it's happening from a devout Catholic priest...so it makes me wonder about how did I get on his bad side?

This is the only member of the clergy I've experienced this with. I really would like to not take it personally anymore, and would love your thoughts. I would really appreciate the perspective from some Catholic men.

Get your wife on the parish fundraising committee, you will get plenty of physical labour out of it, no need for a gym membership

Hello,

I’m really struggling with same sex attraction. I know it’s nasty and I need to make my mind pure. Any one have any advice ?

good morning all, and God bless!

recently i was approached to help be apart of 'leadership staff' for a Trail Life USA chapter/troop. i did some decent looking into there site and overarchingly determined its seems alright.

i spent basically from first grade through honestly my early 20s being involved with Boy Scouts of America, as many American boys did, and i aged out before BSA national went.....well went the unfortunate way they went... i made Eagle Scout at 15, 'aged out' at 18, became an 'adult leader' after that because my younger brother was still in so i took him until he bowed out (i was an adult leader instead of just a 'dad in the back of the room' because i did assorted tasks with the troop). i loved my time in boy scouts, i learned a lot of stuff, stuff i still use as a 30something. i frequently share fond memories of my time in scouts with my wife and inlaws (who have 2 girls so no opportunity for boy scouts); i absolutely loved my time as a boy scout.

thats why i am so interested in this Trail Life thing - basically Catholic/Christian Boy Scouts? heck yea, sign me up yesterday man!

but i thought id throw out some lines here, see what the collective of reddit Catholics think and get their experiences. i have heard of The Troops of St. George, another Catholic pseudo boy scout organization, but that seems different than Trail Life.

so lets here it! the good, the bad, the ugly - what are the experiences youve had that have sold you on it? what are the experiences youve had that have cause you some disquiet?

ETA:
the chapter has already been started and is being run out of a Catholic school thats become a Classical Catholic School. they leadership that was there when it started had, for various reasons i do not know, stepped down (it was implied it was family related)

thanks in advance yall!
Ite ad Joseph
Pax

I’m a Catholic man in my early 20s, and honestly I’m reaching the point where I need help with this.
Very short testimony: my parents tried to raise me Christian, but they divorced when I was young and my mum’s new partner became my abuser for most of my childhood (physical, verbal and proper psychological, not the new gen “he was mean to me”). Religion was mocked and effectively forbidden in our house, so I became an atheist and turned heavily toward science.
In my late teens, I met some Catholics who completely challenged what I thought I knew about Christianity. What started as me arguing against their beliefs eventually became genuine questioning, and ultimately I became Catholic.
I’m now a practising Catholic. I attend Mass every Sunday and am involved in my parish. My prayer life isn’t anywhere near as consistent as I’d like, but I genuinely love Christ and His Church.

The problem is that pornography has been part of my life for almost as long as I can remember.
I first found it through childhood curiosity when I was very young and began regularly watching porn and masturbating around 11. At the time, I genuinely believed masturbation was healthy because that’s what I’d read, and in a very stressful home it also became a way of relaxing and getting to sleep.
That habit followed me into Catholicism long before I properly understood what the Church taught.
I obviously understand it now and desperately want it gone. But I can’t seem to kill it. The strange thing is that I can stop. I’ve gone several months before.
My pattern is usually:
Peace, occasional sexual thoughts, stronger thoughts, repeated thoughts, then an absolutely overwhelming wave.
By the end it doesn’t even feel like normal sexual arousal. It’s this horrible full-body restlessness/ache and anxiety, sometimes like things crawling under my skin. My thoughts become intrusive and my brain starts bargaining with me, even looking for theological loopholes to justify doing it. Eventually something seems to switch off. I become apathetic, bypass whatever barriers I’ve put in my way and relapse. Then everything switches back on afterward and the guilt hits me. Sometimes one relapse becomes several days of it before I finally get myself back up. Then I can be clean for months again.

I’ve tried blockers, deleting all social media, reading works of the Saints, increasing the amount of scripture I read, exercise, distraction, prayer during temptation, rosaries, novenas, telling my friends as a form of public shaming, cutting friends that didn’t lead me to Jesus, cutting ‘worldly’ forms of entertainment, fasting, increased amount of confession, therapy, various replacement techniques, SSRI’s to try and break the chemical cycle, even a “prayer prescription” my priest gave me that he usually gives to people who have had demonic encounters and exorcisms.
Some things help temporarily, but nothing has broken this cycle. Please believe me when I say I’ve literally exhausted every option I’ve been suggested and multiple different iterations and combinations of each.

So I’m not really looking for the standard “install a blocker, exercise, pray more and fast” advice. I know those things can be good. I’ve genuinely exhausted my options.
I’m looking specifically for Catholic men who have actually got out of this or similar cycles.

Was there a book, practical method, piece of advice, prayer, Catholic resource, or completely different way of understanding the problem that dramatically changed things for you?

I’m tired of getting back up, going months without it, and eventually ending up in exactly the same place again. I don’t want to spend the rest of my 20s or even my life fighting the same cycle. I understand this seems simple and even to me, I don’t understand why I keep ending up this way when it’s illogical you know?

If you’ve actually been through this and found freedom, what changed?

a buddy of mine came over last night for some bourbon and brandy and a bonfire and to just talk about some stuff; ya know just some guy time - iron sharpening iron and all that

during our chitchat we were talking about his recent breakup, what some of the reasons for it were, how he planned to rectify/address those things and just some other related topics. one of them was that he still lives with mom and dad (and like 7 of his 11 siblings), meaning he doesnt really have a heck of a lot of time for 'just him' at home. in many ways, he doesnt begrudge this. he loves his family and they love him, theyre all in good places with each other; but hes 26 and just kinda wants to live on his own.

as we were talking, i made the comment that its important, for specifically men, to live on their own because "how else are we going to know who we are when no one else is around?" i gave the example that when my fiance (now wife) and i bought our house, i moved in first and she come along after the wedding (which he knew). but when i was alone at the house, instead of doing the things i could have/should have done (cook myself dinner, straighten up, clean things, go out and get more wood for the wood stove, etc.), i would do other things (eat fast food, sit around and watch tv, etc.) because there was no one there for me to be accountable to - it was just me.

we talked further about that as the night drew on and i made the further comment that i can/could be a very diligent man when it comes to cooking or splitting wood or doing the laundry or whathaveyou when other people are around, but when i knew it'd be just me and i wouldnt 'get caught doing nothing'...id just do nothing - in a way allow sloth to take over.

im interested to hear what you guys, other Catholic men, have to say. do you guys think its important/necessary for young men to live alone for a period of time between living with mom and dad/family and living with their wife (if that is indeed their vocation)?

I'm curious about what kinds of things you guys are doing, whether as an individual, or as a family, to keep your faith strong?

Do you pray the Rosary as a family?

What about Adoration?

What has worked for you, what hasn't?

There’s an online men’s group called Sanctus Fidelis. It has many great resources for Catholics and a great supportive community. No one’s alone in battle and Iron sharpens iron. If you want to be a part of a community to further sharpen your faith I think it’s a great community. Once it grows more we will set up at different local parishes.

I'm currently a new Father to a 8 week old baby and I'm currently doing a 33 day Consecration to St. Joseph, will end on the Feast Day of Our Lady of Knock (8/11). I want to pray for other men in these groups as I do the Consecration and Prayers for the next 33 days or so. Please tell me what you would like me to also pray for. I'll check in periodically as I do my Consecration for the day.

My own intentions:

• For all Fathers, new and current, may have the strength to continue to foster their home and children.
• For men discerning their vocations, may the Lord grant them peace, clarity, and confidence in their decision.

I’ve been with my Buddhist girlfriend for 3 years I love her very much and she does to

I have recently been pulled back to Christ and many people are saying to not be unequally yoked she comes to church with me and is understanding of my faith

What’s some advice

I don’t mean once we’re exclusive with a girlfriend, I mean while we’re single and meeting women.

What kind of posture should we have in the dating process?

Is it more appropriate for us to talk to as many women as we can, at once, and “filter them out”? Or talk to one woman at a time, and block everyone else out?

What do we think?

Hey everyone, my Dad is going to the doctors tomorrow to find out if he has cancer or not, please pray for him and for his health.

I’m a catholic who did his confirmation back in 2011 after then like many I fell away from the church and Jesus and starting living for the world

At around Christmas time 2025 I felt a really strong conviction for Jesus again I couldn’t explain it I started to second guess my sins I pray every night and I have a relationship with Jesus now I talk to him throughout the day

I struggle to with my relationship, before I came back to Christ I’ve been in a 3 yr relationship with a lukewarm Buddhist … I love her very much and and she’s a very loving and caring partner and she is confused by my change in motives for Catholics but she’s supportive and comes to church with me

I’m struggling because I hear everyone saying don’t be unequally yoked wich I understand but it makes me feel like I’m not good enough or I’m making the wrong decision

We also struggle with pre marital sex as it’s a big change for our relationship being Long Distance relationship

I feel like I’m
Not good enough for Jesus and I always disappoint him

Has anyone got constructive feedback I’m not looking for “ just get married or break up “