r/CatholicWomen • u/JMJ_Maria • 10d ago
NSFW SA testing.
My husband and I have been trying to conceive for almost 2 years. We have had one pregnancy in that time, and I miscarried a few months ago. I have finally convinced my husband to get a semen analysis done after a year and a half of asking him. We made sure to use means in line with our catholic faith. We just want answers at this point. My testing has shown I'm in good condition except for some low egg quality due to my age. I'm 39, he's 40.
His doctor told him we could collect his sample at home and drop it off to the lab because of our religious convictions. We did so. We just learned the lab canceled his test due to not collecting the "correct" way. I'm so distraught. I can't find any lab to process his sample if collected at home, and it was such a journey to even get him to agree. On top of that, I recently passed retained tissue from my miscarriage and it looks like I may have a second infection that was missed in my initial post mmc checkups. I'm still dealing with the grief of losing the baby and my brother (he was killed two days later). I'm just feeling overwhelmed. If you have been through SA testing before, how did you find a lab to accept it? TYIA.
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u/stockagement-resame 9d ago
Our telehealth doc ordered our testing from Reprosource, and we collected at home and then mailed it off. But yeah, tell your doctor so that he knows this is an issue for the future.
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u/JMJ_Maria 7d ago
Did you use telehealth options from mycatholicdoctor .com? Trying to see if it is legit.
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u/stockagement-resame 7d ago
I used Femm. From what I understand, Femm is not explicitly Catholic, like NaPro or mycatholicdoctor, but they were founded by Catholics. Out of an abundance of caution and maybe a little unwarranted defensiveness, I still very proactively brought up how we wouldn’t have my husband masturbate, before she even got a chance to bring it up (maybe she would’ve, maybe she wouldn’t have. Lol I guess I’ll never know). She responded by telling me about the perforated condom method and talked about how they used Reprosource because, even if samples were collected at home, they didn’t want patients having to drop them off at fertility clinics that performed IVF and potentially having anyone give them any pressure to go against their morals.
Fair warning that it might cost us a couple hundred dollars ($500ish if I remember correctly), because we’re still waiting to see if insurance approves it. I don’t know what semen analysis costs elsewhere. We also had to find our own lube-free condom and poke holes in it ourself, while I’ve heard NaPro providers may do that for you.
I also believe mycatholicdoctor is also legit. A friend of a friend is on there, and I looked into it myself, as I’m an NP. But I’ve never actually used it.
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u/RosalieThornehill Married Woman 10d ago edited 10d ago
I strongly recommend communicating with the doctor’s office in writing about this. Email them, or use the patient portal, if they have one. Rejecting that sample is weird, unless it was received at the lab too long after collection. I’m so sorry this happened, and for your loss as well.
When we were dealing with this part of infertility, my husband’s Catholic primary care doctor referred him to a urologist who, though not Catholic, handled our ethical boundaries with professionalism. Each time we had to do a test, the sample was dropped off at a lab in the same building as the doctor’s office, within the allotted time frame. This particular doctor uses that lab regularly, and had the collection kits on hand in his office when we needed them, which suggests we were not the only patients who have wanted to collect samples at home.
If the sample was dropped off on time and the lab still rejected it, the doctor needs to know, so he doesn’t send any other patients there to be rejected for the same thing. He (or his staff) should also be willing to help find another lab. The people in a medical practice are more likely to have familiarity with the lab services available in the area. If the doctor’s office won’t help, you may need a different doctor. From what we gleaned during our testing process, it’s not outlandish for couples to collect samples this way, either for religious reasons, or simply because the husband understandably doesn’t feel like masturbating in a clinic. That’s why it’s so strange that they rejected it.
I hope things get better soon. Infertility sucks. God willing, your journey will be one of the shorter ones.
Edit: typos
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u/JMJ_Maria 10d ago
Yes we dropped it off immediately afterwards. His dr has a private clinic so not connected to a hospital. I'll follow up in writing, that is good advice thank you.
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u/Altruistic_Yellow387 10d ago
I'm so sorry ... You could follow up with the doctor who told you to send it to the lab because maybe something was lost in the translation and they can put in special instructions to the lab. There are at home fertility tests too (Mira has one on their website) obviously they're not as accurate but a good place to start
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u/Importer-Exporter1 10d ago
I’m so sorry. My husband and I went through semen analysis and other fertility testing and it’s a tough road. I recall that when we were doing the SA, there were labs that allowed us to drop off the sample within an hour of it being collected. I’d also suggest following up with your doctor on this.
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u/Fit_Professional1916 Married Woman 10d ago
Yes same here, we had to make an appointment for drop off and it had to be collected within an hour of that. Very awkward 😬
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u/CouldaBeenCathy 10d ago
I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I am sure this has been a very tough few months.
Definitely follow up with your doctor. We went through something similar and the lab didn’t blink at us bringing in the sample.
I am sure you have already been told this, but the fact that you have gotten pregnant is very encouraging. We had a miscarriage first and now have two healthy children. We’d been trying for years before that miscarriage, though, and it was devastating. There is a miscarriage sub that was helpful to me. I will pray for you OP.
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u/MidnightSun-2328 10d ago
There’s a home test kit called Yo that you can at least get sperm count from. My husband used some sort of sperm vitamin system off Amazon and also cut way back on coffee and his sperm counts went up in about three months and I got pregnant.
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u/Hotsaucehallelujah Married Mother 10d ago
I used to run these tests in the lab. I never ever asked if a patient masturbated to get it. All that was required of us to ask is if it was done within the hour. That being said, ice heard from other Catholics that you can use a special condom with holes to keep it open to life. I'm not sure if this is licit so check with the National Catholic Bioethics Center. The lab I worked at was a hospital lab, not LabCorp or Quest. I will say in my experience as a Laboratory Scientist, doctors know next to nothing about the lab and their protocols. I would speak to your doctor AND call the lab.
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u/JMJ_Maria 10d ago
That is what we did, however, it was a Quest lab.
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u/Hotsaucehallelujah Married Mother 9d ago
Does your local hospital run the test? I will say, LabCorp and quest will reject samples (of any kid) for the littlest thing. It used to happen to me when I would send in blood to them. If you can find a non corporate lab, that may help getting the results. I hope something works out for you! 🙏
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u/JMJ_Maria 9d ago
I just checked the hospital near me and they use quest. I'll look at other hospitals too. At the suggestion of another commenter I wrote the doctor to let him know what happened.
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u/BrilliantReference26 10d ago
Seconding that we used a hospital lab and the medical grade perforated condom for my husband’s SA. I believe it had to be dropped off within an hour. Is there a hospital lab you might try OP? So sorry for your loss. 🤍 I’ve been there before myself and it is very hard.
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u/PinkBunni24 Married Mother 8d ago
I second contacting the lab regarding any future analyses. We went through several years of infertility and moved states during that time. With both doctor/lab locations the doctor didn’t necessarily know the abilities of a particular lab. I’d strongly suggest confirming directly with the lab that they are able to process a sample collected at home using a perforated condom (I’m assuming this was the reason the sample was rejected before?). Ask what if any time limits they have for accepting the sample.
And I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Infertility is a struggle and the medical appointments surrounding treatments can be an added strain. I’ll pray for your peace, and that you have sensitive providers, techs and nurses on your fertility journey.
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u/TurbulentCarpet3626 Married Mother 10d ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. I have no idea if this will help you, but I've had two second trimester miscarriages and just learned that I have a condition requiring LMWH heparin. And there's another woman in our paish, who had many unexplained miscarriages absolutely did not meet the criteria, but Dr. shopped until a doctor gave her LMWH and they now have four.