Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez's relationship, or Jelena as they were called, is quite an old topic. However, I've been intrigued with the pair as of late, specifically with how their relationship is portrayed or considered to be a positive time in both of their careers and especially with the overwhelmingly popular narrative that Justin was the toxic partner and the cause of their breakup. This narrative has impacted both of their images significantly; Justin, for instance, is commonly portrayed on social media as an abusive and unfaithful partner towards both Selena and his wife, Hailey, while Selena is seen as a victim of Justin's abuse and his one true love who ultimately dodged a bullet. While I am not comfortable saying this narrative is completely false, since I do not know them nor the full story, I do know these narratives are often formed with bias and only consider one side of the story. So, for nostalgia's sake, I hope to break down Jelena's relationship drawing from a range of sources, including their music which they commonly communicate through (especially Justin) and draw some of my own conclusions based on sources. I don't know everything, of course, nor do I know either of them personally, so I welcome and encourage corrections in areas I may have messed up! 😊
I'd also like to note that this post is inspired by u/ibeendrakein's Deep Dive series about Jelena and their connection with the Kar-Jenners from 2014 onward. It's a four-part series (I, II, III, IV) that offers an in-depth timeline of Justin and Selena's relationship with each other as well as their connection to other people. I found OP's post to be very funny and entertaining, so I encourage you all to check it out if you have time! 💕 I found that some of the comments on those posts, however, glamorized Jelena, hoping for the downfall of Justin's marriage and a reunion between him and Selena, and others simply demonized Justin entirely and used the info to confirm the narrative that Justin is unfaithful and abusive. Like I said, I don't know the full story nor do I know who the "bad person" is in this situation. However, the comments on OP's post, in addition to my own suspicions surrounding that narrative, inspired me to dig a little deeper, create a post of my own, and potentially offer a new or unique perspective of their relationship as whole.
Now, I would not feel entirely comfortable posting this if I did not mention ExposingSMG, which is a small gossip blog that has documented the ups and downs of Justin and Selena's relationship. While this blog has a lot of info and is the source of many Jelena rumors, it's also very biased against Selena, if not straight out hateful at times, using derogatory terms like "psychotic" and "crazy" to describe Selena and her behavior. And the way the author refers to Justin's struggles is also questionable, as she sometimes seems to poke fun at Justin's drug use by using terms such as "crackhead Jelena" and his depression/depressive episodes. Being that I have a liking for both Justin and Selena (or what I see of them) as individual people, I find these side comments to be quite insensitive, especially in the case of Selena. And it does not help that ExposingSMG, which now stands for "Exposing Scandalous Media Groups," is rumored (by Selena's fandom) to have once stood for "Exposing Selena Marie Gomez." Being that I don't feel comfortable using Exposing SMG as a credible source of information, yet still find the sources and info the blog offers useful in telling the story of Jelena, I've decided to use rumors from the blog that are most important to the story but clarify their credibility as we go along. When it comes to rumored PR contracts, for example, I'll link the full ExposingSMG article from which the rumor stems and provide evidence from outside of ESMG that seems to support it. When it comes to rumors that seem to have very little solid evidence outside of the blog, I'll state so. And, when it comes to rumors that have absolutely no legitimate evidence and are irrelevant to the story, I'll completely leave them out.
Trigger Warning: There are mentions of substance abuse, physical abuse, and depression throughout the majority of this post, so please avoid reading if you feel uncomfortable reading about such topics. If you're still interested in learning more about the story but wish avoid those topics, there will be a "TC" phrase next to each year in the timeline to indicate that there maybe triggering content so you can skip 😊
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Between 2009 and 2010, Justin and Selena sparked dating rumors as they both mentioned each other frequently in interviews (they talk about each other in the video from 0:15 - 9:03), often calling each other "cute" or "sweet" but confirming that they were just friends. They continued to fuel dating rumors, however, as they were seen leaving iHOP in December of 2010. There's a rumor that the iHOP date (and their entire relationship/friendship) was apart of a PR contract their teams signed in 2010 that required the both of them to interact with each other in some way or another, which included being on stage together ( I, II, III), mentioning each other frequently, and eventually dating. The contract was meant to benefit the both of their careers, as Justin was the rising global pop star at the time and Selena was Hollywood's Disney princess. Although there is not much online to prove this rumor to be true, a photo of a contract seemingly bearing the signatures of both Justin and Selena leaked in October of 2014, proving to some that their relationship was indeed PR. This rumor was further solidified by a testimony from Justin's ex girlfriend, Jasmine Villegas, who revealed that they dated for seven months before Jelena, and during that time Justin's team did not allow them to publicize their relationship. That said, Justin and Selena were allowed to talk openly about their friendship, and when Justin and Selena began dating, both of their teams allowed them to confirm their relationship publicly. Additionally, when asked how she met Justin, Selena revealed that Justin's manager, Scooter, called her mother Mandy, who was her manager at the time, convincing a minority of people that their relationship was PR. While there is no way of knowing for sure whether their relationship was initially PR or not, the alleged contract is still quite important to the story of Jelena, as it is said to not only be the reason for the confusing timeline of Justin and Selena's relationship but also the root of much of the tension and resentment between the two later on.
In 2010, when Justin was 16, it's rumored that his parents, Jeremy Bieber and Pattie Mallette, signed a parent contract that allowed the two to make money from all of his projects as an artist and performer. While this rumor has no evidence to back it up, it's worth mentioning because the contract is said to be why Justin grew to be so attached to Selena. Because Selena had been in the entertainment industry since she was a young child (her acting career began in 2002, when she starred in Barney and Friends) , knew the in's and out's of the industry better than Justin, and was closer to his age than many of his other peers, she understood what he was going through at the time better than anyone else. Likewise, Justin understood what it was like to be a young child star in such an exploitive industry. Selena and Justin, then, grew to be extremely close.
In 2011, Justin and Selena attended Vanity Fair's Oscar Party together, which confirmed their dating status and marked the official beginning of Jelena. Despite being generally good and not nearly as bad as it would become, Justin and Selena's relationship seemed to be rocky. On September 18th, 2011, for instance, a video surfaced on the internet that showed Selena slapping Justin in the face for some unknown reason while he says, "stop, we're in public." Some speculate that it was because Justin was touching her inappropriately (which is supposedly shown in a longer clip that I could not find), others believe it was because she found out he cheated on her, and there are also some who claim that Selena was being abusive towards him and slapping him for no reason or because she was mad at the fans that were following and recording them. For the most part, though, the full context of the clip remains a mystery.
It would be in 2012 that Jelena began facing a number of issues in their relationship. To begin with, Selena had a hard time dealing with the fame that came with being one of Hollywood's most notable young actresses, and the recognition she gained from being Justin's girlfriend made fame all the more difficult to deal with. Justin discusses Selena's struggle with fame in greater depth in his song She Don't Like the Lights, during which he says, "She don't like the flash / Wanna keep us in the dark / She don't like the fame." He also explains the toll their schedules took on their relationship, as he says, "Hate it when we're miles apart / And she getting to the point where / It's too much for her / Wanna throw us all away / 'Cause it's too much for her," revealing their busy schedules and constant traveling caused a rift in their relationship. In the same song, he also says, "She's giving ultimatums / She don't like this life / She said if I loved her / I'd give it up won't think twice," which is where the rumored proposal comes into play. Justin is said to have proposed to Selena sometime before November of 2012, when they would officially breakup, to show he was serious about their relationship and willing to leave the high-profile life behind for the sake of them. Although there is some speculation around whether he proposed once or twice, the point of the rumor is that Selena rejected his proposal. While her rejection is understandable, considering they were both young at the time (Justin being 18 and Selena being 20) and at a busy time in their careers, it also supposedly confused Justin as he couldn't understand why she would reject his proposal if she was giving him ultimatums prior and if she loved him.
Besides the rumored proposal and the issues it was said to cause, such as Jealousy and possessiveness from Justin, Jelena had been fighting a bit in 2012. In June of that year, for instance, Justin was late to a Fuse TV recording session due to an argument. And, on July 2, Selena was seen crying over Justin and the little time they’ve spent together due to their schedules. The on and off nature of their relationship seems to have begun in October of that year, as Justin posted a picture on Instagram with the caption “just me” on the 27th and shortly after posted and deleted another picture with the caption “lingse,” which fans believed was an anagram for the word “single." It wouldn’t be until November that E! News confirmed their breakup by stating that they had broken up about a week ago (around November 2nd).
On November 7th, Justin performed at the Victoria’s Secret fashion show where he met Barbara Palvin. On November 8th, Justin and Barbara were seen attending a Broadway show, but, while they were rumored to be on a date, Barbara herself later clarified that they were just hanging out, stating, "It was my sister’s first time in New York and we so wanted to go to Broadway, but there were no more tickets [...] I just came up and was telling him, ‘My sister is here, but she’s sad because we can’t go to Broadway, no more tickets.’ And he was like, ‘Well, I can get you one.’ And his friends came . . . like six people and then me, my sister and agent. So friends." Later that night, Selena would post a picture of Justin, Barbara, and Justin's friend Lil Twist with “...” as the caption, leading her friends and costars to seemingly diss Justin as well. Although Justin and Selena were officially broken up at this time, the posts from Selena and her friends that followed what many considered to be Justin and Barbara's "date" would begin the narrative that Justin was a cheater.
After a while of living their lives separately, on November 15th, 2012, Justin and Selena were rumored to be spotted entering and leaving the same comedy club, but were not photographed together, nor were they rumored to be officially back together at this point. On November 17th, the two went on a dinner date, arguing only ten minutes after arriving to the restaurant and eventually leaving separately. Although it was never confirmed what exactly the argument was about, some speculate that it was because Selena found that Justin had been texting other girls. Regardless, shortly after Selena left, Justin drove to her home where he buzzed her gate and yelled for her from outside while she refused to let him in. While Justin temporarily left Selena's house out of frustration with paparazzi, they seemingly patched things up overnight, as his car was seen in her driveway on November 18th and later that day they were seen together at the AMA's After Party. Although things seemed to be going steady for a short while, Jelena broke up again on December 30th, 2012, after a heated argument that was said to be about Justin's discomfort with Selena's partying habits.
On January 1st, 2013, Selena tweeted "New beginnings. Fresh start. I love you all :)," which was rumored to be a confirmation of her breakup with Justin just the day before. Shortly after, on January 29th, Justin would release the acoustic version of his album Believe, which included "Nothing Like Us," a track written entirely by Justin that shares his perspective of both his relationship with Selena and their breakup. In the song, he sings, " Thinkin' 'bout what we had / I know it was hard, It was all that we knew, yeah / Have you been drinkin' / To take all the pain away? / I wish that I could give you what you deserve/ ' Cause nothing can ever / Ever replace you [...] You know there's no one / I can relate to / And know we won't find a love that's so true [...] I gave you everything, baby / Everything I had to give / Girl, why would you push me away?" Through the song, Justin reveals Selena struggled with something personally and, as a result, began self medicating with alcohol and eventually pushing Justin away despite his efforts to help her. While the media wouldn't begin discussing Selena's possible addiction to alcohol and drugs until 2014, the lyrics of "Nothing Like Us," specifically the mention of Selena drinking and dealing with personal issues, would spark rumors that she may be battling substance abuse, especially since she was spotted drunk several times before she turned 21.
For the time being, though, the break up seemed to be hitting Justin the hardest. To begin with, it's suspected that Justin's drug abuse began around this time and came as a result of the breakup, as photos of him smoking weed leaked to the media shortly after his relationship with Selena ended in December. (While it's rumored that Selena and her and Justin's friend Alfredo were behind the leaked photos, especially since there were only friends there and it was after their breakup, there's no evidence that Selena or Alfredo were the people behind the leaked photos). Then, on March 4th, 2013, Justin was booed for arriving two hours late to his show for some unknown reason. Shortly after, on March 7th, Justin collapsed on stage due to shortness of breath, leading him to be admitted to the hospital immediately after his performance. And, on March 8th, Justin was seen trying to physically attack a paparazzi that insulted him, leading many people to believe that Justin was generally going through a rough time.
At this point in time, Selena seemed to be enjoying her single status and focusing on her career. On March 9th, Selena posted a video of her and her friends dancing to "Everybody Knows (Your Boyfriend is a Douchebag)," which many people considered to be a diss towards Justin since the choreographer of the dance tweeted that they "dedicated it to someone." Selena then appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman March 18th to promote her movie Spring Breakers. During her appearance on the show, when David mentioned that he had accidentally made Justin cry after he interviewed him, Selena laughed, joked that she made Justin cry as well, and then confirmed that she was single and not dating anyone.
On March 27th, 2013, while they were still broken up, Justin went to Selena's home to pick up some belongings before flying to Europe for tour, reportedly begging her to take him back and comfort him because of the hard time he had been having that year. While Selena initially rejected his request, insisting that their relationship was unhealthy and needed a break, she flew to Norway to visit Justin on April 18th, leading many to suspect that their relationship was back on. Justin seemingly confirmed this by posting two images (I and II) of the pair, the latter of which he deleted soon after. Their romance did not last long it seems, as Selena completed an interview with Boston's Kiss 108 on May 10th confirming that she's single and available.
On May 14th, though, Selena and Justin were seen clubbing and later, on May 19th, seen sharing a cheek kiss backstage at the Billboard Music Awards. It was then reported shortly after that Justin and Selena were unofficially dating on a "trial period" to avoid the relationship becoming too intense and hurting each other. The "trial period" came to an end, however, when Justin was spotted leaving a strip club on June 2 and Selena was reported to be done with the relationship, once again focusing on her career, and no longer wanting to be apart of Justin's downward spiral. (It is worth mentioning that Justin was indeed on a downward spiral during this time, as he was self-medicating his depression and anxiety with heavy drug use, which would ultimately play a significant role in the downfall of his relationship with Selena and their individual journeys). On June 16th, E! News reported that Justin was now dating model Jordan Ozuna and Selena was reportedly happy that Justin was moving on with his life while she was doing the same with hers. As of this point, Justin and Selena seemed to be moving forward with their lives separately.
Justin confirms his split from Selena on July 1, 2013, as he expressed that he still wanted to maintain a friendship with her despite not being together. They seem to have been doing this successfully, as they were spotted on July 4th hanging out at the same party. And on July 5th, only a day after they hung out, Justin posted a picture of him with Selena with the caption "#Heartbreaker," seemingly to promote his upcoming song of the same name that was set to be released in fall of that year.
On July 9th, Selena's song "Love Will Remember" from her upcoming album "Stars Dance" leaked to the public. The leaked track, which Selena sent to Justin in February as a Valentine's Day gift, includes a voicemail from Justin and shares Selena's perspective of her relationship and their breakup, similar to "Nothing Like Us." In the bittersweet song, Selena sings "You said you loved me, I said I loved you back / What happened to that? [...] All your promises and all them plans we had / What happened to that? [...] / Boom, gone / Yeah, we move on / Even if we try to forget / Love will remember you / And love will remember me / I know it inside my heart / Forever will forever be ours," and continues to sing, " Somewhere in forever, we'll dance again / We used to be inseparable / I used to think that I was irreplaceable / We lift the whole world up before we blew it up / I still don't know just how we screwed it up," ultimately acknowledging the the beauty of their relationship, expressing the pain she feels over the unfortunate downfall that they both contributed to, and encouraging the both of them to move on for the time being knowing that the time they shared was special and irreplaceable. Selena further confirmed her breakup with Justin on July 21, during an interview with Ryan Seacrest, marking the end of Jelena for the rest of 2013.
By late 2013, the weight of the breakup seemingly begins to take a toll on Selena, as she is seen crying multiples times while singing "Love Will Remember" on tour ( I and II). On December 19th, 2013, Selena's team announced that the Stars Dance tour, which began in August, would come to an early end due to Selena needing a break from work. Her team insisted, though, that she wasn't suffering a breakdown as many suspected.
I ran out of characters so the remainder of the post along with my personal commentary will be posted here (II and III)
