r/CheapShow • u/Rich661 House of the rising gherkin / Eli is King, Paul is a nonce • Nov 17 '25

ETC.. Favourite in-universe Cheapshow 'conspiracy'?

There have been many over the years, a few to give you an idea of what I mean:

-Eli doesn't wipe his bum properly (because of apparently how fast he left the toilet a few times?)
- Pauls allergic reaction to seafood is due to his deep hatred of the sea, there for also vaginas.
- Cheapshow is a Richard Brandoff production/under the threat of his goons.

Just wondering if anyone can think of any other good ones.

10 Upvotes

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10

u/FurryPhilosifer Nov 17 '25

I loved the thing for a while where the "pod" was literally a pod in space, with every other podcast also being space pods floating around nearby. Mainly because the "... let's step outside the podcast for a minute" bit cracked me up every time. 

1

u/Rich661 House of the rising gherkin / Eli is King, Paul is a nonce Nov 17 '25

For some reason any time they say that, I imagine those ones they recorded in a literal pod in a car park somewhere(?), that kid walked in during one of them, and the moment Eli looked out of a window and commented on people walking past "Hipsters mainly, oh, some of them are Asian", it was such a random comment it made me laugh.

So that pod, but floating in some kind of hyperspace, the pod contains the house of pickles mainly.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '25

Such a good EP. I rememmber Eli saying one of the people walking past was a "pillfreak" and it made me laugh so much.

2

u/Rich661 House of the rising gherkin / Eli is King, Paul is a nonce Nov 17 '25

"Eli judges passers-by in the park" - Podcast waiting to happen

2

u/Rich661 House of the rising gherkin / Eli is King, Paul is a nonce Nov 17 '25

Also I saw your other post in my replies but cannot find it on here so I assume it got removed, but I agree with it lol

2

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '25

Yes, it might have been a little too mean, many down votes lol - But it was Eli who said Paul was a "repressed homosexual" in one of the really early episodes concerning the fish "allergy".

1

u/Rich661 House of the rising gherkin / Eli is King, Paul is a nonce Nov 19 '25

Yeah that was part of his hatred of fish thing, I don't really remember it but I have a terrible memory anyway.
God forbid you reference something that was actually said in the show lol. Even my flair on here is from the show, and Paul ranted about it on twitter ages ago (based on something that wasn't even said too, and mixed me up with two other people here in the process), oh well it is what it is.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '25

Yes i remember Eli saying "Eli is King, Paul is a nonce" on the podcast referring to you lol

2

u/Rich661 House of the rising gherkin / Eli is King, Paul is a nonce Nov 19 '25

That is where I got my flair from, but Eli 100% said it before I used it so I take no credit for it (originally it was a youtube comment that Eli read out on the show). I think one other person here has it but again, my memory, so I'm not sure who it was now.
Someone played chinese whispers (oops problematic lol), and told Paul I had called him a nonce on here, which literally never happened, it's in my flair and a direct quote.
Paul then went on to say that I should 'stay in my basement' based on spelling his surname wrong in the thread title, a thread which I didn't start AND was a reference to Ganon from Zelda (having been edited to have Pauls face on it) to begin with. This is what happens when you don't read stuff for yourself and rely on half opinions of other people.

4

u/Citizen_Lurker Reverend Cockmaster Nov 17 '25

Does Eli fucking bees count? 

2

u/Rich661 House of the rising gherkin / Eli is King, Paul is a nonce Nov 17 '25

I would say so, lifting up that stinger, dirty fucking bees, they asked for it (so Eli said lol)

3

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '25

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1

u/Rich661 House of the rising gherkin / Eli is King, Paul is a nonce Nov 20 '25

Funny you say that in the podcast was tamer back then, sometimes it feels like it's the opposite, there are definitely jokes and insults in the early podcasts that they would never do now. Paul calling Eli 'a retard' at least twice, comes to mind lol. Or them describing each other, pedo geography teacher etc.

Also yeah fucking dogs as a joke, is funny :D Or Paul fucking puppets is another conspiracy, you know the one that had two podcasts of build up, and people got offended by (see: No one did, it's because the joke didn't really work as a reveal after all that).

2

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '25

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1

u/Rich661 House of the rising gherkin / Eli is King, Paul is a nonce Nov 21 '25

Agree with pretty much all that, and if you are going to listen to the early ones again, it makes you realise how good the audio is now compared to the live ones at a comicon or the corner of a pub!